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The Never Ending Story


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4 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......however it was all for nothing, the Director said "I don't need an Indian statue" and Cappy was out of a job unless he could drift [avref]..............

......, with immaculate application of crossed controls (avref) onto ..........

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PS ..... As all NES'er would know by now, magnificent Jedi skills, of course, make the immaculate application of crossed controls a piece of XXXX.

 

Cappy flies crossed controlled approaches as beautifully as Princess Laya in a Luke Skywalker wet dream. 

 

 

WELL ............ YOU WOULD, WOULDN'T YOU?

See the source image

Edited by Captain
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........a Tyro onto a two acre potato paddock, neatly placing the wheels in the tractor tracks.[nostalgic avref from Bone].

Cappy is cunning; cunning enough to go for a week without gin, by which time the shakes were all gone, the eyes were blue, and people he met imagined him (from the unending self-history) to be a former Spitfar pilot.

A potato paddock was chosen on a dau when there was a raging 30 knot crosswind, and the Tyro pulled out of the shed. At first it didn't look like the bet was going to be settled. Like a runaway milking cow the Tyro blew down to the far ffence and had to be dragged back by three people who almost took off with the aircraft after there was a lull in the wind and Cappy pulled the cord, jumped in, gave it full throttle before anyone could catch their breath. It was a master stroke, but .......................................

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........he continued to taxi along the ruts but the drooping Tyro wing was knocking over spud bags which meant thousands of dollars worth of spuds would rot. The farmer met him at the end of the row with an under and over and 48 pellets of hot swan shot.......

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4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

The farmer met him at the end of the row with an under and over and 48 pellets of hot swan shot.......

..... all molded into a gold plated presentation trophy, which he held out deferentially in a hope of getting .......

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.....a ride in the Tyro, but Cappy just wiped him off; didn't even give him an autograph, and the farmer was a pumpkin farmer too!

Just in front of him a black cat streaked from left to right, and the bell in the local church for no apparent reason tolled 13 times, and ............

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16 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....a ride in the Tyro, but Cappy just wiped him off; didn't even give him an autograph, and the farmer was a pumpkin farmer too!

Just in front of him a black cat streaked from left to right, and the bell in the local church for no apparent reason tolled 13 times, and ............

....... there was a ladder leaning over the strip, a rabbit limped by with one foot hacked off, and nobody was also willing to mention a .......

Edited by Captain
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........Board Member from RAA [averef], and the strip number was odd - 666, the devil's airstrip [scaryavref], but Cappy just closed his eyes and opened the throttle.

With the benefit of hindsight, it might have been better if Cappy hadn't closed his eyes before taking off because ..................

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2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........Board Member from RAA [averef], and the strip number was odd - 666, the devil's airstrip [scaryavref], but Cappy just closed his eyes and opened the throttle.

With the benefit of hindsight, it might have been better if Cappy hadn't closed his eyes before taking off because ..................

..... there was a bloke with a scythe & a black cape leaning nonchalantly against the wind sock (avref), with a sly (turboref) grin & a ......

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...portion of a skeleton under the other arm. Things didn't look good and then Cappy noticed the three vultures sitting on a nearby tree. Across the paddock, straighth for Cappy came  four black horses galloping with thundering hooves; it was the four horsemen of the Apocalypse. Cappy thought he would have preferred an Ambulance, but out of the corner of his eye he saw ....................

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......Macca's at the Temple of Doom.

It was at this Macca's that the notoroius .......................

 

 

 

 

[What Cappy neglected to say in the post above was that the bottom, rather ragged clown was him]

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19 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

[What Cappy neglected to say in the post above was that the bottom, rather ragged clown was him]

.......... and those are his natural flappers too. (ErkyPerkyref). Could Cappy actually be Dan?

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31 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......Macca's at the Temple of Doom.

It was at this Macca's that the notoroius ..........

......... terrorism incident occurred after some poor unsuspecting customer removed the gherkin ...... and the gherkin police (as pictured below) held him or her (we could not tell WHICH as the body was too mangled) to ....... 

 

 

THE BASIS ON WHICH LIVES CAN BE LOST, WITHOUT

A SANCTIONED EXCUSE

Image result for MacDonalds GHERKIN REMOVAL

 

 

A MACCAS GHERKIN REMOVAL INVESTIGATOR.

NOTE THE SIMILARITY TO CASA INSPECTORS, AS THEY

ARE TRAINED BY THE SAME SUBCONTRACTOR.

Image result for MacDonalds terror

Edited by Captain
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3 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.............the letter of the law, ensuring the gherkin went down whether it wanted to or not.

Cappy had just taken a bite out of a Big Angus Burger when .................

..... he broke a tooth on the purple ear tag from .....

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7 minutes ago, Captain said:

..... he broke a tooth on the purple ear tag from .....

....a Brahman from Rocky. NES readers are warned that Rockhampton has the toughest steaks in the whole of Australia. Turbo bought a couple in town and took them back to the caravan park. Eventually he made them edible by putting them on the driveway and driving backwards and forwards over them for 15 minutes. After that they were quite good to eat if you disregarded the gravel. In cappy's case the broken tooth didn't make much difference, so he continued on ..................

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16 hours ago, turboplanner said:

In cappy's case the broken tooth didn't make much difference, so he continued on .......

...... with that broken tooth whistling every time he breathed out, like the gun-port on a Gloucester Meteor in a steep dive (avref).

 

But there were benefits, as most women and some men (NTTIAWWT) thought that Cappy was whistling at them in a provocative yet attractive and solicitous manner, so while he did get an occasional knock-back, his success rate was much higher than he had experienced in the past with a full set of choppers, so he ......

Edited by Captain
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....declined to see a dentist, and continued on his merry way with his gap-tooth appearance giving him real street cred, anytime he got surrounded by hard-core beer drinkers, and he'd ordered a gin and tonic whilst right in amongst them.

 

Of course, it wasn't just the missing teeth that gave Cappy real street cred - it was the tattoos, as well. Especially the dragon one, which snaked across his chest and down to his.........

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3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........appendix where it curled round and round like an archery target..........................

..... and where it eventually surrounded the area that seldom sees the light of day (that must hurt [the tattooist} to tattoo around that) and which appears to have been speared by a rusty Scimitar (littleknownavref) that ...... 

 

THE TYPE OF RUSTY SCIMITAR THAT MAY HAVE CAUSED THE DAMAGE.

Image result for rusty scimitar osrs

Edited by Captain
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