The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

1 minute ago, turboplanner said:

.......hit the throttle. He selected first and hit the throtte, and away he went; but she was flying an RV12, and ..............

... so he needed to change into 2nd in order to stick with her, before she ......

 

PS ..... Do you think that we are OK to be posting like this Tubb? Or might we get into trouble again for enjoying ourselves without 2000 other posters on the thread? I am concerned that I might become morose if sanctioned again.

[turboplanner]

...could catch him. He casually went through the gears and the RV dropped back into the distance.

Turbo was just relaxing, when from the other direction ..........................

[Captain]

11 hours ago, turboplanner said:

...could catch him. He casually went through the gears and the RV dropped back into the distance.

Turbo was just relaxing, when from the other direction ..........................

... came what is certainly, as Prince said, the natural mortal enermy of every Red Corvette, a ......

[turboplanner]

.....yellow Volkswagen Microbus with surfboards on the roof flopping up and down in the wind ready to take flight, kingpins worn to half their original diameter causing the machine to weave from one side of the road to the other, a smokescreen that soldiers would kill for and six hippies with red bandanas holding up their fingers and chanting "PEACE BRO",

 

While a Corvette is a precision machine, at 300 cruise the engine is bellowing at about the same noise level as the Somme in 1917, the vibration harmonics had started to gallop out of rhythm teasing the driver to think someting might break and send him into orbit, and blurring his vision.

 

The only thing for it was to count the weaving rate of the VW, and time his passing for when it was on its own side of the road; not easy to do from a kilometre away, but Turbo was not going to slow down and be passed by the RV  which ...........

[bull]

On 06/01/2022 at 10:53 AM, Captain said:

For the interest of NESers, bull being a very enterprising and efficient bloke, had 1000 reflective stickers printed, which commenced with those words and then containing all of his details (phone, email, FB & twitter names + his AUF membership number) and this saved a lot of time writing on the back of karzy doors with a texta, .............. and then also no need to bend down to check his spelling.

....nor worry about his shoes being tyed as he was wearing thongs at the time ,,Now

spelling not being bulls best strong point he  found it is prudent to reply to our dear  Cappy [in other curcumstances is known as Herr Capitan which for legal reasons can not be written]  that to deftly imply some doubt about our Bulls straigtness or such is deflametory and does serious  harm to Bull,s mental state .  This slander must cease immedietly and a retraction issued on that published comment  {refer above] as it is seriously effecting his ability to engage in concourse with thousands of others via social media etc and effecting his ability to earn a living being a ostracised member by your slander so therefore you and you alone will face the results of your own actions . This is a legal notice from                                                   

Edited January 7, 2022 by bull

[bull]

12 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....yellow Volkswagen Microbus with surfboards on the roof flopping up and down in the wind ready to take flight, kingpins worn to half their original diameter causing the machine to weave from one side of the road to the other, a smokescreen that soldiers would kill for and six hippies with red bandanas holding up their fingers and chanting "PEACE BRO",

 

While a Corvette is a precision machine, at 300 cruise the engine is bellowing at about the same noise level as the Somme in 1917, the vibration harmonics had started to gallop out of rhythm teasing the driver to think someting might break and send him into orbit, and blurring his vision.

 

The only thing for it was to count the weaving rate of the VW, and time his passing for when it was on its own side of the road; not easy to do from a kilometre away, but Turbo was not going to slow down and be passed by the RV  which ...........

.which was being driven by a well known media personality in cognetoe/cogneto/ @#it in disquise fuck it you get my  point.  Now this person was suddenly..........

[Captain]

26 minutes ago, bull said:

....nor worry about his shoes being tyed as he was wearing thongs at the time ,,Now

spelling not being bulls best strong point he  found it is prudent to reply to our dear  Cappy [in other curcumstances is known as Herr Capitan which for legal reasons can not be written]  that to deftly imply some doubt obout our Bulls straigtness or such is deflametory and does serious  harm to Bull,s mental state .  This slander must cease immedietly and a retraction issued on that published comment  {refer above] as it is seriously effecting his ability to engage in concourse with thousands of others via social media etc and effecting his ability to earn a living being a ostracised member by your slander so therefore you and you alone will face the results of your own actions . This is a legal notice from 

The Skipper has read and considered bull's above demands and Cappy is happy to provide a comprehensive correction .... which is ....... that it must be another bull, and not our very own beloved bull.

 

And just be clear (and why I was almost sure that it referred to "our" bull), the printed stickers did commence "for a good time, male or female (nttiawwtbtw .... so he is an equal opportunity pervert), call bull etc etc, and then the sticker listed home & work numbers that all commenced with a Tasmanian std prefix (although it may have referred to that other std that polite pilots (avref for Planey) don't discuss or admit to (Turboref)).

 

Now surely that is referring to "our bull" as there is not one capital letter or punctuation mark anywhere on the reflective stickers (supplied by Trackbine Reflective Pickup Stickers Pty Ltd), but if it is not our bull then the Skipper apologizes and there must be 2 huge personalities and egos trapped within the present map of Tasmania (Mavisref).

Edited January 7, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

. although it still could be someone else because bull doesn't swear. Well he did swear when he dropped the jacka into the Tamar, but that's another story for a night around a campfire. Who could forget the night Turbo told the story of his trip around Australia in the Thruster where a CASA FOI showed up out of the gloom in Borroloola and charge him with carrying four people in the Thruster, one of them being bull. Turbo will always remember that bull stood up for him, arguing with the FOI that it was parallax erro in the heavy atmosphere and the FOI had just been seeing double. When the FOI, swaying slightly had said "How come there are four people standing here then and confidently stood back ready to start writing, OT and Loxie, who were both slim in those days, said they were backpackers who wondered what all the commotion was about, and bull had won the .................................

[Captain]

...... contest to be "Borroloola Princess" at the Show (where he defeated Anastasia Palacechook in a beauty contest) and was about to don his sash and climb onto the float, surrounded by ......

Edited January 7, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........adoring Princesses when a Show official mindful of the threat of terrorism checked the entrants and found it wasn't bull who had one the competition, but Cappy in disguise and the adoring Princesses were in dire peril. Who should show up and save them but one of Joh's nephews who said "You, you, you ......."

[bull]

23 hours ago, Captain said:

The Skipper has read and considered bull's above demands and Cappy is happy to provide a comprehensive correction .... which is ....... that it must be another bull, and not our very own beloved bull.

 

And just be clear (and why I was almost sure that it referred to "our" bull), the printed stickers did commence "for a good time, male or female (nttiawwtbtw .... so he is an equal opportunity pervert), call bull etc etc, and then the sticker listed home & work numbers that all commenced with a Tasmanian std prefix (although it may have referred to that other std that polite pilots (avref for Planey) don't discuss or admit to (Turboref)).

 

Now surely that is referring to "our bull" as there is not one capital letter or punctuation mark anywhere on the reflective stickers (supplied by Trackbine Reflective Pickup Stickers Pty Ltd), but if it is not our bull then the Skipper apologizes and there must be 2 huge personalities and egos trapped within the present map of Tasmania (Mavisref).

My dear Cappy ,you are correct on the sticker issue but  you must have forgotten that the add was when i was employing old mate Turdo for the other side you know ,,wink wink    so it  kept everyone serviced and happy,,,good days they where ,,,the days of the blue oyster and cappys leathers and turbo,s fetish with f16,s  so i think the matter is settled to all parties concerned and we can call the subject closed .

😎

Edited January 8, 2022 by bull

[Captain]

6 hours ago, bull said:

My dear Cappy ,you are correct on the sticker issue but  you must have forgotten that the add was when i was employing old mate Turdo for the other side you know ,,wink wink    so it  kept everyone serviced and happy,,,good days they where ,,,the days of the blue oyster and cappys leathers and turbo,s fetish with f16,s  so i think the matter is settled to all parties concerned and we can call the subject closed .

😎

The Skipper agrees and this subject is closed ........ which will please Planey no end.

[Captain]

15 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........adoring Princesses when a Show official mindful of the threat of terrorism checked the entrants and found it wasn't bull who had one the competition, but Cappy in disguise and the adoring Princesses were in dire peril. Who should show up and save them but one of Joh's nephews who said "You, you, you ......."

... ate you from the ABC?"

 

"No" replied the 21 vestil Princesses in unison, and this meant that .....

[turboplanner]

.......were possibly now in peril from two evil monsters, Cappy, who was harmless, and Joh's nephew, Ivan who had a problem articulating, but had managed to get the message through that ABC reporters were cannibals.   Bull, warming up the Thruster could see the danger, and decided he must save all the girls at any cost, so he decided to fly them out of harm's way. "What's the MTOW" [acref]? asked Turbo nervously. 450 kg replied bull, but we'll leave Cappy behind, and I'll carry all the girls in this cargo net I found in the hangar. That way there'll be not extra weight in the Thruster." This sounded good to Turbo who thought W&B was a kind of B&S.

bull selected WOT, and ................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

bull selected WOT, and ........

..... all hell broke loose as bull had meant to spell a shouted "WHAT?", because he had misheard Turbo, who does mumble & scratch them a bit more now than he used to.

 

The Thuster (which had adopted a bull-like personality {disorder}) couldn't spell either and as the revs rose to stratospheric levels, and the prop tips went supersonic, it strained then broke its tie-downs & lurched skyward ("F the runup area & all those other procedures" it thought) with a ......

Edited January 8, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......a lurch that lurched bull's hand harder on to the throttle. The Thruster vibrated, then realised this was not good for its passengers' health and limited the vibrations to the carbies which shook the main jets loose, imitating an old trick used by speedway motor cycle outfit riders who were real men. With the increased fuel flow the Thruster was able to lift the girls in the cargo net above fence height but .................

[Captain]

37 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......a lurch that lurched bull's hand harder on to the throttle. The Thruster vibrated, then realised this was not good for its passengers' health and limited the vibrations to the carbies which shook the main jets loose, imitating an old trick used by speedway motor cycle outfit riders who were real men. With the increased fuel flow the Thruster was able to lift the girls in the cargo net above fence height but .................

..... CHT's, EGT's, AOA's, PMT's, RPM's, CAS's, POQ's, FU2's, AUF's, W&B's, ETA's, RAA's, INS's, CAA's, FIO's, CFI's, NDB's, MTO's, PIO's etc were well above permitted levels and bull started to become concerned about his ......

Edited January 8, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......acronyms becaise these all required capital letters. For example there's no ykka, so how could you fly there, or .....

[Captain]

21 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......acronyms becaise these all required capital letters. For example there's no ykka, so how could you fly there, or .....

.... how could bull ever fly a PA28 LSA55, J160, J170, V115, AA5B, C210 ......... and in this case it is noted that Turbo even uses Capital Numbers ................ what a pozeur.

 

Having seen this, bull was both disconcerted and discombobulated because he had set his sights on listing more type ratings than Turbo.

 

But bull's close friend OT (who signs himself as ot when communicating with bull) suggested that bull just make up his experience and type ratings, as everyone else does and Turbo's are just ....... 

 

Edited January 9, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

2 minutes ago, Captain said:

.... bull could never fly a PA28 LSA55, J160, J170, V115, AA5B, C210 ......... and in this case it is noted that Turbo even uses Capital Numbers ....... what a pozeur.

 

Having seen this, bull was disconcerted and discombobulated because he had set his sights on listing more type ratings that Turbo.

 

But bull's close friend OT (who signs ot when communicating with bull) suggested that bull just make up his experience and type ratings, as everyone else does and Turbo's are just ....... 

 

....a standard to be aspired to by a few. OT himself, in real life can's remember anything he has flown except the current aircraft which is a ...........

[Captain]

3 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....a standard to be aspired to by a few. OT himself, in real life can's remember anything he has flown except the current aircraft which is a ...........

...... confidential matter, as OT operates a black market FIFO (fifo for you bull, old mate) operation on a unmowed grass strip just outside the fence at Jandacot, where OT has cut a hole in the boundary fence and steers his shady clients through a ............. 

[turboplanner]

.......stand of stinging nettles to his old Cessna which was one of the News Corp company aircraft they bought from Arthur Schutt at Moorabbin. Arthur had given News Corp a rock-bottom price for 30 1965 model Cessna 172s on the condition that whenever there was a crash, whether it be a Boeing 707 or a Cricket, the News network was to report it as a Cessna.

Arthur went on to sell Cessnas by the thousand as a result of this free advertising, and bought himself a mansion at Byron Bay next to Russel Crowe.

However, back to the story, OT was cunning enough to know that after having been stung to the kneecaps, no one would get cold feet when they saw the old Cessna.

 

When the fifos arrived up in the Pilbara wearing gaiters they were seen by the miners as a new fashion and soon all the miners on the Pilbara had placed orders with the Turbine Gaiter Co. When the scrubbers came in from the stations to the next BNS Ball they didn't know whether to laugh or ...................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

When the fifos arrived up in the Pilbara wearing gaiters they were seen by the miners as a new fashion and soon all the miners on the Pilbara had placed orders with the Turbine Gaiter Co. When the scrubbers came in from the stations to the next BNS Ball they didn't know whether to laugh or ..........

..... use them as con......

[turboplanner]

.....catenations of drip catchers of the next morning's dew to wash in rather than have the more common Pilbara sand shower which could be very ...............

[Captain]

16 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....catenations of drip catchers of the next morning's dew to wash in rather than have the more common Pilbara sand shower which could be very ...............

..... typical of Western Australian ablution practices, which is why all WA people are ocre coloured and have dry cracked skin.

 

Nevertheless, the Pilbara Sand Shower, known in the aviation community as a PSS, which should not be confused with a PISS, (apologies for all the capitals bull) is a standard survival and personal hygiene technique now taught in the Human Fuctors Outback Flying Lectures (the HFOFLs) which all RAA members are required to attend before .....

Edited January 9, 2022 by Captain