The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

14 hours ago, turboplanner said:

It wasn't........

...... real happy about that as cats (felines not D11s), in a similar manner to Turbs and 1Root, often need .......

Edited December 1, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

Some space to land on and the cat’s head was now stuck under the fridge. Turbo grabbed it hind legs, flung it away from him and ducked........

[Captain]

13 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Some space to land on and the cat’s head was now stuck under the fridge. Turbo grabbed it hind legs, flung it away from him and ducked........

..... under a devastating right claw, as the cat came back in killer mode, intent on making Turbo's face even worse that it is now.

 

Turbo ducked just as his Motorola rang. He looked at the screen and it was CT.

 

"I'll just burn him, as he calls me a couple of times a day" said Turbo, but the message ding went off and Tubb dialed 101.

 

"Hey Turdy" said CT in the message "I have landed (avref) on my feet again as I just got a call from Xi and he needs under-runway space for about 10,000 protesters. He has doubled my disposal rate and every planeload will include half a tonne of Short Soup, so if you need a feed just come up to DG and we'll ...........

 

 

TURBO, WHEN YOUNGER, TAKING A MESSAGE ON HIS MOTOROLA

WHICH HE STILL USES DAILY

Edited December 1, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

“......chew the soup.”

Underneath he wrote “sent from my IPhone 18 Executive”.

The soup had a rathe familiar smell to Turbo and he looked at one of the 20 litre drums which said “Ploduc of orstraya no cars were harmed in the process. Only Turbine Farm product used.” The pricks had been buying it on the yellow market, so .....

[Captain]

19 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

“......chew the soup.”

Underneath he wrote “sent from my IPhone 18 Executive”.

The soup had a rathe familiar smell to Turbo and he looked at one of the 20 litre drums which said “Ploduc of orstraya no cars were harmed in the process. Only Turbine Farm product used.” The pricks had been buying it on the yellow market, so .....

... Turbo called his accountant, Arthur Anderson, who he still uses even though they went broke in the 2001 Enron scandal.

 

"No mate, it's just me" said Arty Andersen to Cappy, a one-man-band Swedish immigrant operating out of a rat-infested hovel in Frankston "Don't tell him as Tubb still thinks I am a world-wide operator".

 

"Listen Arthur, please arrange to bill the CPP for the diff between the black-market price and what we normally bill out for the Cat Farm's short soup." said Tink.

 

"Do you want me to bill for the soup made from cat chunks wrapped in filo?" asked Arty "Or the completely liquidy short soup that you make from the cat's ..........

 

 

TCF'S SPECIAL CLEAR SHORT SOUP

IT'S THE RIGHT COLOUR STRAIGHT FROM THE CATS

Edited December 1, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

52 minutes ago, Captain said:

... Turbo called his accountant, Arthur Anderson, who he still uses even though they went broke in the 2001 Enron scandal.

 

"No mate, it's just me" said Arty Andersen to Cappy, a one-man-band Swedish immigrant operating out of a rat-infested hovel in Frankston "Don't tell him as Tubb still thinks I am a world-wide operator".

 

"Listen Arthur, please arrange to bill the CPP for the diff between the black-market price and what we normally bill out for the Cat Farm's short soup." said Tink.

 

"Do you want me to bill for the soup made from cat chunks wrapped in filo?" asked Arty "Or the completely liquidy short soup that you make from the cat's ..........

 

 

TCF'S SPECIAL CLEAR SHORT SOUP

IT'S THE RIGHT COLOUR STRAIGHT FROM THE CATS

.....but before he could finish, Turbo quickly said "The latter thanks Art" 

He was disturbed that he should be getting his own product back to eat but, he thought "business is business and they buy 20,000 tonnes a year, so best to shut up"

It was at this stage that OneT came in and announced the E-Drifter was working again; the morning had warmed up. He was holding an account for $15,356,23 entitled fix batteries.

Cappy decided to take it for a run, and ...................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

Cappy decided to take it for a run, and .........

..... the aircraft (avref) leapt (avref) into the air (avref) as Cappy has lost a lot of weight lately and the Drifter was in heaven (avref).

 

"What effect did your weight loss have on W&B calcs?" asked Planey.

 

"Stuff W&B .......... and what is that whacky term anyway?" replied The Skipper who grew up in the good old AUF days "Anyway there is 500 kgs of lithium AA batteries stuffed in all around this Drifter, some under my seat, and let me tell you they are getting hot, because of ...........

Edited December 2, 2022 by Captain

[onetrack]

......the overcharging caused by the wing solar panels, thanks to that really sunny day, today. OT says he's still working on the the algorithm corrections in the BMS software, but he'll have it sorted shortly - and besides, he says the heat output can be be utilised for pilot seat warming, anyway, making the "Electric Drifter experience" a wholly satisfying one."

 

Right about then, OT received a call from Xi Jinping. Xi wanted to discuss a licencing deal for electric Drifters to be built in China. "No wucken furries, Mate!," said OT, who was on good terms with Xi, after OT had recently provided some excellent advice to him, as regards cutting-edge developments in cat farm technology (thanks to a few revealing discussions with Turbo).

 

OT went on, "I can organise all the fine details for a licence to build, for a very modest three-way percentage level (working on Turbo's excellent 3-way share system of, 'one for you, one for you, and two for me').

Xi was chuffed on hearing this advice and said, "This is the best news I've had in recent times, and Confucius knows I need it. If we develop our electric aircraft industry in tandem with our major global drive into EV's, who knows, very soon we'll be beating the Yanks, hands down!"

 

"You haven't heard the best bit yet", said OT. "I'm working on a system where we can harvest Drifter electrical recharge from lightning bolts in thunderstorms. The idea is, you spot a thunderstorm and aim your Drifter right at it, and as soon as a lightning strike hits your aircraft, you'll be charged up enough to get another 500 NM in range, and the lightning strike also conditions the battery cells, so they can........

 

Edited December 2, 2022 by onetrack

[turboplanner]

14 hours ago, onetrack said:

......the overcharging caused by the wing solar panels, thanks to that really sunny day, today. OT says he's still working on the the algorithm corrections in the BMS software, but he'll have it sorted shortly - and besides, he says the heat output can be be utilised for pilot seat warming, anyway, making the "Electric Drifter experience" a wholly satisfying one."

 

Right about then, OT received a call from Xi Jinping. Xi wanted to discuss a licencing deal for electric Drifters to be built in China. "No wucken furries, Mate!," said OT, who was on good terms with Xi, after OT had recently provided some excellent advice to him, as regards cutting-edge developments in cat farm technology (thanks to a few revealing discussions with Turbo).

 

OT went on, "I can organise all the fine details for a licence to build, for a very modest three-way percentage level (working on Turbo's excellent 3-way share system of, 'one for you, one for you, and two for me').

Xi was chuffed on hearing this advice and said, "This is the best news I've had in recent times, and Confucius knows I need it. If we develop our electric aircraft industry in tandem with our major global drive into EV's, who knows, very soon we'll be beating the Yanks, hands down!"

 

"You haven't heard the best bit yet", said OT. "I'm working on a system where we can harvest Drifter electrical recharge from lightning bolts in thunderstorms. The idea is, you spot a thunderstorm and aim your Drifter right at it, and as soon as a lightning strike hits your aircraft, you'll be charged up enough to get another 500 NM in range, and the lightning strike also conditions the battery cells, so they can........

 

... be disposed of safely."

"Have you tested it yet?" asked bull who had been battling to get a word in.

"No" said OT rather dismissively and realised everyone was looking at him. At this time black clouds started to dorm over the Otways, and lighning flashed down.

"I'll get a MET report" said OT and everyone burst out laughing at such an old-fashioned idea, so there was nothing for it but to fly into the thunder claps.

"This accident scene is very strange" thought the ATSB Investigator. OT was part melted into the undercarriage. "He'll be alright" thought Turbo who had been called to the scene. "He's got no legs, but those STOL tyres should get him most places."

Not many people know this (as a CIA operative, Turbo was briefed on it), but this is what happened to the USS Eldridge. They'd been running both generators at the same time to prevent rusting in the bores and clogging of the capsules. There was a clap of thunder and a bolt of lightning which blinded all the sailors on the other ships in the flotilla. As academics know, lightning and electricity don't mix, but the Eldridge became invisible to all the other ships, and sailors were welded to various parts of the Eldridge. They're still there stuck to the big E, and the US Navy veterans Association has people go and feed them every day, read the news and these days makes sure their phone batteries are charged, but it's still top secret. If ever a US ship is attacked in a storm, the Captain knows what to do, but it's now policy to get the sailors indoors first.

OT ..................

 

 

 

 

[Victorian Premier Daniel (the Lion) Andrews has just announced that Point Nepean has been renamed Battery Pointand this will eventually be the Gateway to Tasmania once they start dumping batteries from EVs and toxic fibreglass blades and generators from wind farms, where an entire changeover is due to start in March 2023]

[Captain]

Cappy apologies to all NESers for his inability to respond all weekend. He has tried several times but has fallen asleep each time that he has read the last 2 posts by Tubb and only-ever-had-1Root. Not because they are boring, they are indeed riveting, but due to their length (Turboref) & complexity (bullref). Cappy is embarrassed and will now read both tomes agai.zzzzzzzzzz .......

Edited December 5, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....n...................

[Captain]

3 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....n...................

Sorry Tubb. I just edited your post into irrelevance (Turboref).

 

And speaking of irrelevance, have you invited Ahpox back into the NES? 

Edited December 5, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

1 minute ago, Captain said:

Sorry Tubb. I just edited your post into irrelevance (Turboref).

And this, NES readers happens all too often. When we were fighting in the Khyber Pass the Captain would always ensure he took the last toilet paper before a big battle; we had to use sand.

 

Turbo was just trying to keep it short in deference to the wishes of Cappy, so,

agai..n.. zzzzzzzzzzzzzap! as Turbo caught the mossie with ..............................

 

 

[Captain]

7 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Turbo was just trying to keep it short in deference to the wishes of Cappy, so,

agai..n.. zzzzzzzzzzzzzap! as Turbo caught the mossie with ..............................

 

 

.... his plastic chopsticks, Mr Miyagi style, then he polished the Vette (left hand waxa on  etc .....

Edited December 5, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

..................until it shone with a metallic brilliance that had mesmerised many a following Highway Patrol Car, and ..........

[Captain]

24 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

..................until it shone with a metallic brilliance that had mesmerised many a following Highway Patrol Car, and ..........

.... not to mention the girls down on Lygon St where Turbo is on a 1st name basis and where, behind his back, they call him......

 

(Some even say "Hey Doris, it looks like Turbo has been polishing his again")

Edited December 5, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....El Supero, which means .............

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

.....El Supero, which means .............

....  (as street code) that Turbo must be pimping more than 50 but less than 100, (as approved & signed off by Dan) which is what a few of the heavies on Wreck Flying have always suspected of Tink partially as indicated by his gross, crass, heavyweight & ostentatious jewellery, whereas .......

Edited December 5, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....in reality he is known in Carlton as kind, helping out poor people, paing for shopfronts to be cleaned up and looking less like Benghazi Kazis, and generally picking up the pieces after the Underbelly problems which no one wants to talk about because..............

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

....in reality he is known in Carlton as kind, helping out poor people, paing for shopfronts to be cleaned up and looking less like Benghazi Kazis, and generally picking up the pieces after the Underbelly problems which no one wants to talk about because..............

..... most people in Carlton have substantial bellys and have not seen what is under that belly for a number of decades, and that is what drives Turbo to .....

Edited December 5, 2022 by Captain

[bull]

32 minutes ago, Captain said:

..... most people in Carlton have substantial bellys and have not seen what is under that belly for a number of decades, and that is what drives Turbo to .....

Start his little belly mirror business to go with his new thong line ,,[so the fat belly,s can see when they need new thongs ,,brilliant.....].....we can attach them to.........

[turboplanner]

.........the knee like a garter.

Turbo quickly onsold this innovative business to bulls mirrors and baths, inc. since it was a Below the Line business, and he was busy developing his restaurant supply business CatchUpSteaks which required a lot of time and care to cover tracks, because...........

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

.........the knee like a garter.

Turbo quickly onsold this innovative business to bulls mirrors and baths, inc. since it was a Below the Line business, and he was busy developing his restaurant supply business CatchUpSteaks which required a lot of time and care to cover tracks, because...........

..... even though the name was cleverly contrived, the cat loving community knew which cat farms were supplying the steaks.

 

Apart from bull asking lots of questions in Tasmania about "what's a bath?" bull also very perceptively added "i'm buggered if i know how turdy thought he was going to get away with selling such small steaks, he must be .........."

[turboplanner]

.....NUTS.

Turbo, sensitive to the overwhelming vote on some forums in favour of global warming and its side benefits of EVs and the newest instruction from the UN to Ban Beef because of climate change, Turbo provided a little flag with the message "Small Size, Small CO2"  (and has kept a sign for Cappy). 

Just as sales were going through the roof there was a break in at the Tamworth Cat farm when 23 males and females dressed as cats broke down the fence and tried to let the cats ...............

[Captain]

29 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....NUTS.

Turbo, sensitive to the overwhelming vote on some forums in favour of global warming and its side benefits of EVs and the newest instruction from the UN to Ban Beef because of climate change, Turbo provided a little flag with the message "Small Size, Small CO2"  (and has kept a sign for Cappy). 

Just as sales were going through the roof there was a break in at the Tamworth Cat farm when 23 males and females dressed as cats broke down the fence and tried to let the cats ...............

..... mate indiscriminately, Including the protesters.

 

Turbo was wrapped with the security video and commenced a rewrite of the musical as a ghost writer for Andrew L W.

 

The leading protester .......

Edited December 5, 2022 by Captain