The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

.............upbringing. (There were people in Bone wo still toasted Bonnie Prince Charlie and pointed to the Whigs in England who refused to march when the Throne was in sight).

 

Not many people know  that there are still people in the Bown Hills who speak gaelic and ........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

prince

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.............upbringing. (There were people in Bone wo still toasted Bonnie Prince Charlie and pointed to the Whigs in England who refused to march when the Throne was in sight).

 

Not many people know  that there are still people in the Bown Hills who speak gaelic and ........ prince

..... sang "Little Red Corvette" (Turbo's favourite) and then danced around the maypole before he and Micky Jackson ........

 

(It is little known that Michael styled his new face on Turbo, after Turbo did the choreography for the "Killer" video [that is actually Turbs in parts of the video where Michael couldn't get the moves right] ........ the moonwalk is a Turbo signature move from his time cracking on at the Blue Oyster).

 

TURBO AT THE REHEARSAL 

 

 

Edited December 8, 2022 by Captain

[onetrack]

.....made a pair and did the Tango. Not many people know that due to Turbos Argentinian ancestry and Tango skills, he's won quite a number of prizes doing the Tango. He specialise in the horizontal Tango, and he's won awards for the number of times he's used "Whisky Foxtrot Tango" on the airwaves, and during his time in the Special Forces, he was well known for calling out "TANGO!" right before he blazed away with every firing button he could finger, even if it did mean he pressed.........

[turboplanner]

....his "BoosT! button.  We can't tell you much more detail, but it's an AI machine that reacts with the soldier making his muscles six times more powerful. Turbo was ten year old and watching an episode of "The six million dollar man" when he thought "I could do that!" and came up with the "B" button as they call it in the Special Forces. He'd been embedded in them all, going out on active missions in mant countries on secret missions which never made the news but often wiped out three quarters of the enemy forces. A lot of the video games you see today, which parents laugh off as exaggerated are actual footage of "B" boosted missions.

 

The best mission was ........................

[Captain]

..... when Steve Turbine spent time in the wilderness of Western Tasmania, initially tracking a group of .......

 

(One of the things that Steve had to learn once he had his new found strength, was not to touch himself inappropriately, as he had always done so regularly when he was just young Turbo, because his new strength could really do some damage)

Edited December 8, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......tasmanian tigers. He followed them for 3 days, 24 hours a day and was observing them from roadside bushes when a motorist stopped and asked him what he was doing Steve, by now with a full phone of photos knew he had a front page story and told the motorist about the tigers. “Yew from the Mainland?” came the inevitable question. When he confirmed it the Tasmania said “They’re cows” and Steve was left.

[bull]

9 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......tasmanian tigers. He followed them for 3 days, 24 hours a day and was observing them from roadside bushes when a motorist stopped and asked him what he was doing Steve, by now with a full phone of photos knew he had a front page story and told the motorist about the tigers. “Yew from the Mainland?” came the inevitable question. When he confirmed it the Tasmania said “They’re cows” and Steve was left.

...........stunned when the animals he had seen suddenly appeared amongst "the cows" But where even more blown away when after study of the footage taken at the time it was discovered to be a Thylacine [An extinct striped tiger like animal stared at the camera before running away]   Now this caused a shit storm as the...............

Edited December 9, 2022 by bull

[turboplanner]

.............Tigers Steve had been watching were Bengal Tigers, and packed a powerful swipe or bite at anyone telling them they were fast-back imitations and................

[Captain]

7 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.............Tigers Steve had been watching were Bengal Tigers, and packed a powerful swipe or bite at anyone telling them they were fast-back imitations and................

....... when Turbo tried to milk them for sale at his Tasmanian Cat Farm (TCF).

 

"Tigers produce much more milk than moggies, so it just makes time and motion productivity sense" commented Turbo "But boy, don't the males get snarky when you reach in there, except for that one lying at my feet, as he seems to have enjoyed it, and that ......

[turboplanner]

"..........White one over there" and so Cappy prattled on. It really is true NES readers, Cappy doesn't know milk has to come from female tigers, but Turbo just smiles and let's him go; he's not doing any harm and the millenials are repeating every word on Twitter, so it won't belong before the whole world knows it. Look what happened when someone took a photo of a message Turbo had sent to Cappy in the Spratleys all those years ago about an approaching typhoon. He'd meant to type: "URGENT STOP GLOBAL WARNING STOP TYPHOONS FREQUENT STOP", but made a simple typo in warning, and now look where we....................

[Captain]

..... know that Turbo realised how his message was misread and he immediately registered the words "GLOBAL WARMING" worldwide  as proprietary to Turbine Industries, where he has then licensed its use to John Kerry and Chis Bowen,  conditional on them using the term 10 times in each paragraph that they spout.

 

The generated funds have been cleverly used by Turdy to set up Turbine Coal Mines Inc, Turbine Fracking PLC, and .....

[turboplanner]

Turbine Debt Recovery Inc because Al Gore hasn’t been paying subscriptions and...

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

Turbine Debt Recovery Inc because Al Gore hasn’t been paying subscriptions and...

..... Greta wanted to pay in Swedish Crone, but Turbs insisted on some personal favours (he really is THAT sort of guy, and has been fixated on her since she looked so ravishing during her speech to the UN) plus payment in Euros into his Cayman Island account, in the name of ........

 

THIS IS THE LOOK THAT GOT TURBO SO ENAMERED

(Turbo has stolen all of our dreams too).

Edited December 10, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......Feline Investments Inc. which was owned by CatAttack Finance registered in Panama who were owned by 233358967410 Limited in Switzerland.

 

It's difficult to portray what is happening in real life on the NES, but Cappy had been talking about the obove as they walked down to the jetty on their Greater Spratleys Island getting ready to meet the Admiral's barge bringing General Wing Hung Hai for a top secret meeting. As they walked aloong there was a strange cracking sound. They stopped and the cracking stopped. They started walking and the crackling restarted. Turbo stopped quickly and the cracking continued as Cappy hadn't noticed ............

[Captain]

....... that the 23 cupcakes of frozen chocolate crackles that he had knocked off before they left, were thawing out in his .......

[turboplanner]

.......jeans.

It had all seemed very funny at the time back at the Hacienda Pool Party and some of the girls had complimented him on his "big knotty bulge", but as the cupcakes melted a stain was spreading don the leg of his jeans.

General Wing Hung Hai pretended not to notice but by then the cholcolate had melted, not helped by the grinding as Cappy walked along. The stain was running brown as ..............................

[Captain]

...... as the cereal,  now substantially free of chocky, started to snap, crackle & pop next to Cappy's nether regions,  which reminded him of the time that .......

[turboplanner]

...............he and Turbo were in the Khyber Pass. The Heathen had somehow got hold of a lot of ex German Army stick grenades and they were coming in fast.Turbo, Cappy and Loxie were catching and throwing methodically when one went a bit wide. Cappy snatched for it but fell awkwardly and it slipped into his groin which was clamped by the fall. Turbo grabbed the stick and pulled, and Cappy let out a squeal as the grenade body crushed his nuts, but it wouldn't come loose. It was too late and they heard a phssssssssss and then nothing, Cappy had clamped the only dud and ...................

[Captain]

11 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

...............he and Turbo were in the Khyber Pass. The Heathen had somehow got hold of a lot of ex German Army stick grenades and they were coming in fast.Turbo, Cappy and Loxie were catching and throwing methodically when one went a bit wide. Cappy snatched for it but fell awkwardly and it slipped into his groin which was clamped by the fall. Turbo grabbed the stick and pulled, and Cappy let out a squeal as the grenade body crushed his nuts, but it wouldn't come loose. It was too late and they heard a phssssssssss and then nothing, Cappy had clamped the only dud and ...................

... that disappointed our brave & tough Cappy, as groins are a little like hallucinatory drugs and you need a bigger "hit" each time to keep the thrill alive.

 

So up the Khyber, pass that is, after the somewhat tame girls in Bone and Calcutta, Cappy was in need of a strong "hit" and was therefore looking forward to the grenade giving him a little tingle that would make up for ......... 

[turboplanner]

....his pathetic attempts to get on sick parade, so he could get home.

When General Smuts heard he had clapped a grenade bewteen the legs to get home, he hurried to the scene.

"Mah Guidness!, he explained, lucky you didn't pull it orf".

and added "Nah get up there, and give to the heathen as if they were Boarrrr!!"

There was silence from the troops who........................

[Captain]

..... had been on duty up the Khyber for many tours and were bored sh%&less (a bit like NES lurkers), so Smuts' instruction went way .......

Edited December 12, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....over their heads, and that's when the ambush..........

[Captain]

14 hours ago, Captain said:

..... had been on duty up the Khyber for many tours and were bored sh%&less (a bit like NES lurkers), so Smuts' instruction went way .......

TO ALL NESERS - And particularly the thousands of you from outside Australia where English (or Stray-yan) is not your first language, after Turbo called me yesterday I thought that an explanation is needed for you all as it was for he.

 

When Turbo called he said words to the effect of "Apologies old friend, but the reason that I have not replied sooner (to the post as quoted above) & for over 10 hours, is that I don't get it. Can you therefore explain it to me please?"

 

To which I replied "Of course, Tink, it was a play on words about your reference to the Boars (..... "as if they were Boarrrr!!") and my mention that the troops were "bored". It was more a cerebral exercise than outright humour."

 

"Thank you for explaining that old buddy" replied Turdy "As now I can compose a witty reply." 

 

And so the NES continues on to literary heights and any of our overseas lurkers (particularly those in jail or prison camps in China, Butan, Tasmania, Russia or Iran), please feel free to respond in your native lingo and we can arrange translation services and other help.

Edited December 12, 2022 by Captain

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....over their heads, and that's when the ambush..........

..... & general mayhem really kicked up a notch ..........

 

 

SEE THE BELOW TYPICAL BRAVERY OF THE TROOPS,

AFTER GETTING OVER THEIR BOREDOM

 

Edited December 12, 2022 by Captain

[bull]

4 hours ago, Captain said:

..... & general mayhem really kicked up a notch ..........

 

 

SEE THE BELOW TYPICAL BRAVERY OF THE TROOPS,

AFTER GETTING OVER THEIR BOREDOM

 

..the entertainment  in the Kyber became world known for...