The Never Ending Story

[onetrack]

.......evidence of Cappys ancestor, Capt Josiah Cooks visitation to the Island, with a pewter plaque nailed to a coconut tree, claiming the Island for ownership by the Cook family. 

 

Akamulakikaipo Duke Turbine became enraged at the pewter plate claim and tore it down, replacing with a pewter plate claiming the Island always was, always will be, a Turbine clan possession.

 

From this small event, we can see how the Turbine and Cook clans have become engaged in constant bouts of one-upmanship over the centuries, and the chest-beating claims of each clan become more outrageous with each passing year, to the extent that................

 

Edited Tuesday at 12:29 AM by onetrack

[turboplanner]

.......the Australian Government, desperate to keep out the Chinese Hordes from living and interbreeding with the islanders who already enjoyed free Drifters when they turned 21 ..........

 

 

 

NES acknowledges the Turbine Tribe owners of the land on which we stand and pay our respects to Elders past, present and future.

 

 

[Captain]

13 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......the Australian Government, desperate to keep out the Chinese Hordes from living and interbreeding with the islanders who already enjoyed free Drifters when they turned 21 .......

.... however there were 2 immediate issues, as Kelly Turbine Surfboards had sold the Chinese five million 5 ft 6" long triple fin boards that were more suited to use at St Kilda beach, and didn't work as intended at the Pipeline, and each one was imprinted with the words "From the volcano's lava field to the sea (about 3 ft) Hawaii will always be free" which caused ructions with the Peoples Front of Hawai and the .......

[turboplanner]

.......Committee for better Drainage and Golf Courses. Oahu had not been the same since Cappy and Turbo lost their beloved cars partner, Princes Iolani on that terribe night when.......

[Captain]

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......Committee for better Drainage and Golf Courses. Oahu had not been the same since Cappy and Turbo lost their beloved cars partner, Princes Iolani on that terrible night when .......

..... she fell under Turbo's wild, animalistic & sexually ingratiating spell, Cappy became outrageously jealous, even to the extent that Iolani's talents & prowess had the potential for Cappy to fall out with his half a century long best mate and combat buddy.

 

But then Cappy realised that to fall out over a mere Princess would ......

Edited Wednesday at 12:21 AM by Captain

[onetrack]

......relegate both himself and Turbo to history as minor players, on a par with Capt James Cooks crew, who fell under the spell of the Wahinis, and who had to be physically dragged back on board the Endeavour.

 

In fact, to this very day (as Cappy is one of Capt Cooks direct descendants), Cappy immediately turns into a dribbling incoherent shell of his normal self, immediately he sights a Wahini in a traditional costume (that's topless, of course).

 

Cappys displays of socially unacceptable and uninhibited behaviour in this arena, have led to him being...........

[Captain]

51 minutes ago, onetrack said:

......relegate both himself and Turbo to history as minor players, on a par with Capt James Cooks crew, who fell under the spell of the Wahinis, and who had to be physically dragged back on board the Endeavour.

 

In fact, to this very day (as Cappy is one of Capt Cooks direct descendants), Cappy immediately turns into a dribbling incoherent shell of his normal self, immediately he sights a Wahini in a traditional costume (that's topless, of course).

 

Cappys displays of socially unacceptable and uninhibited behaviour in this arena, have led to him being...........

.... welcomed, during his present State sponsored visit to Tahiti, where he attended the Bastille Day celebrations yesterday, and he was bombarded by a group of nubile Wahinis as shown in the below photo.

 

Cappy, like his ancestor, was always the complete gentleman and didn't even .....

 

[turboplanner]

......flinch when he saw those inviting smiles, but then realised they were all looking at Turbo as he walked down the asile to his seat, even one of the girls in the back row, so .....................

[Captain]

9 hours ago, turboplanner said:

......flinch when he saw those inviting smiles, but then realised they were all looking at Turbo as he walked down the asile to his seat, even one of the girls in the back row, so .....................

.... stealthily slipped Turbo a love note which said that her Grandma was still active, and she was keen to show Turbs the wonders of Tahitian senior citizen staying power, and how they can ......

[turboplanner]

.......the Royal Tahitian Hula, a very secret dance that cost Captain James Cook his life when he was caught doing it in a tent on an Oahu beach.

 

"I have to talk to Cappy" said Turbo, and ......

[onetrack]

.....immediately, as always when things were hotting up, Cappy couldn't be found.

 

But Turbo knew of his weakness for Wahinis, and went looking for him, at the hard-to-find, Wahini Strip Club and Poker Joint.

You must all know of the place, it has a discreet small sign, saying, "Liquour in the front, Poker in the Rear".

 

The club and its entrance were extremely well hidden, and this was because of the local leaders disapproval of such a decadent place in Tahiti, due to their Missionary upbringings.

 

But Cappy, as always, was right into decadence and outrageous behaviour - and as soon as Turbo gained entrance to the Club (having garnered the secret entrance password by raking through Cappys wardrobe), he immediately spotted Cappy in the throes of.........

 

Edited 22 hours ago by onetrack

[turboplanner]

........saying a prayer with the Missionary, Reverend Aito Cook, Choirboy Manava Cook and choir girls Mereva Cook, Maimuti Cook and that stunner Tiare Cook. Turbo joined in to sing the hymn, his deep baritone voice covering for the slightly less than convincing Cappy who was skipping a few words and........

[onetrack]

.......totally unaware of what all the words to the Hymn were, anyway - because he'd lost his Hymn book on the way in to the Strip Club. 

Now, it's not generally known that Cappy regularly carries a Hymn book and a clerical collar stuffed inside his shirt.

 

This is because he managed to escape a very, VERY, sticky situation many years ago, whereby he was almost certainly going to be pounded to a pulp by a gang of threatening thugs - when he suddenly realised he was carrying the Hymn book and the clerical collar, purely by accident. 

 

So, as the thugs were advancing on him, Cappy promptly donned the clerical collar, and held out the Hymn book towards the thugs, saying, "I come in Peace, brothers, and may the Lord look............

[Captain]

8 hours ago, onetrack said:

saying, "I come in Peace, brothers, and may the Lord look......

..... like a cross between Fabbio, Mel Gibson and little Rusty Crowe, which would mean that .....

[turboplanner]

......... he was Australian, safe from the Trump anti-immigrant regime, in with President XI's little mate, free of any prejudice against logging, part of the solid section in the community who had the skill to fly a Jab, a chick magnet like Turbo, a Cat parts entrepreneur Like OT and a real Captain like bull from bull's prawning industries, inc.

 

It also projected the image of a pious minstrel skipping through life striving to befriend even thugs like these, and they reacted by.........

 

 

Turbo, with his Wall of Sound and guitar skills helps Carrie to a standing ovation.

 

 

 

Edited 10 hours ago by turboplanner

[Captain]

5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

 

It also projected the image of a pious minstrel skipping through life striving to befriend even thugs like these, and they reacted by......

.... locating an ancient manger outside of DG, where there is evidence of Wise Men all over the joint, and an imposing hill known locally as Golgotha Gwim, where .....

Edited 5 hours ago by Captain

[CT9000]

.....all the unwise men now sleep peacefully forever......