The Never Ending Story

[onetrack]

.....OT, with his stunning food displays from his several food vans. "Well, I never knew you were a major mobile food retailer!", exclaimed Cappy as he sampled some of OT's delicious Boulangerie food van offerings.

"Oh, it all started about 2000 years ago, when my great-great-great-great-great-great-great uncle, Josiah Track, saw this bloke in the Levant feeding 5000 people with five loaves of bread, and a couple of fish!"

 

"Josiah immediately thought up the idea of the first fish burger van in the Levant, and from there, our family has never looked back! Besides, it's so much easier to stretch the limited fish supplies out, when you have a van with an enclosed kitchen, rather than standing around in a carpenters outfit, just handing the food out, without even ensuring you get paid for it!"

 

"Since I took over the food van operations, the Boulangerie Van has been a massive hit, so much so, that..........

 

Edited July 22 by onetrack

[Captain]

4 hours ago, onetrack said:

Since I took over the food van operations, the Boulangerie Van has been a massive hit, so much so, that..........

..... DG has turned out to be the ideal location to run a multi-ethnic food operation, as the population around here and Chintin would have to be the most genealogically diverse since my family declared the existence of The Levant and took over the .....

[onetrack]

.....daily operations and finance controls of the First Temple of Jerusalem - thus showing that our family ancestors could even show the Jews a thing or two, about handling big incomes.

 

Of course, what is not well known is that OT's ancestor, Josiah Track, had a major financial investor to compete with, one Jeremiah Cook, who controlled all the accommodation in the Levant.

 

Yes, Dear NES readers, that Jeremiah Cook just happened to be one of Cappys ancestors, and it's not well reported that accommodation was particularly tight, right about the time a huge star appeared over Jerusalem, and because of this, people couldn't even find a room in a Cook Motel to have a baby (or even create one).

 

This fact was solely due to the ruthless control over every Levant motel by said Jeremiah Cook, who had wangled the position of Comptroller of Motels in the Levant.

This enabled Jeremiah to scuttle plans for any proposed motels that competed with the Cook motel chain, and thereby led to the acute shortage of accommodation in the Levant.

 

Shortly after JC started going to school, and not long after he learnt the basics of monopolies and "big money" control, he set about.........

 

Edited July 23 by onetrack

[turboplanner]

...improving the financial performance of the Motel with a sign and noting this was in a significant Jewish population put a sign on every motel; "ROOMS BY THE MINUTE". This .......

 

[Captain]

On 22/07/2025 at 7:34 PM, turboplanner said:

...improving the financial performance of the Motel with a sign and noting this was in a significant Jewish population put a sign on every motel; "ROOMS BY THE MINUTE". This .......

 

.... also led to a sign being placed beside the BBQ, by the pool at each Motel, that said "DIAMONDS CUT & POLISHED WHILE YOU WAIT, AND LEPROSY CURED IF YOU ........

Edited July 25 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......bring your own knife.

It wasn't long before the local area was buzzing with businesses, even extending to a Chinese guy at the end of the street having a Thruster parked on the grass with a sign saying "TWENTY MINUT FRIGHTS just $49.95!!!!!!

Then someone decided they should name this precinct and ........................

[Captain]

25 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......bring your own knife.

It wasn't long before the local area was buzzing with businesses, even extending to a Chinese guy at the end of the street having a Thruster parked on the grass with a sign saying "TWENTY MINUT FRIGHTS just $49.95!!!!!!

Then someone decided they should name this precinct and ........................

.... it was thereafter named "Free Enterprise Street", and the Money Changers .....

[onetrack]

....did a roaring trade using the Temple as an operating base - until the day a bearded bloke in sandals, a long frock-like costume, and with a halo hovering over him, grabbed their tables and hurled them over, thus ruining the trades for that day. The bearded bloke also yelled out something like they were scumbags for using his Dads House to do their business.

 

It puzzled the Money Changers that this bloke was claiming the Temple as his Dad's House - but hey, there's a nutter with crazy ideas in every crowd, isn't there?

 

Of course, the Money Changers suspected this violent move was all just a front to install currency-changing ATM's by the bearded bloke, so they got together and.............

[turboplanner]

....started to smack him in the teeth with his sandals. He belted them asunder and then he belted them asover, and they retreated with sore ases for a week.

Everyone gave him a wide berth for a week, but bull walked in one day and ..........

Edited July 25 by turboplanner

[Captain]

30 minutes ago, onetrack said:

Of course, the Money Changers suspected this violent move was all just a front to install currency-changing ATM's by the bearded bloke, so they got together and......

...... banned him from being a member of The Levant Free Trade Association, which was the modern equivalent of BRICS, except that the LFTA was targeting the international exchange rate for the shekel, the dinary and the schlotty, where the ......

[onetrack]

.....the Roman Quinarius and Aureas had lost their shine, so to speak, thus leading the other currencies to become dominant in the Levant.

 

However, bull's move to ban the bearded bloke from the LFTA, led to bull being cursed by the bearded bloke, and affected by a nasty affliction that caused bull to............

[Captain]

3 hours ago, onetrack said:

However, bull's move to ban the bearded bloke from the LFTA, led to bull being cursed by the bearded bloke, and affected by a nasty affliction that caused bull to.........

..... have a bald patch.

 

But this got bull more chicks, not less, when they realised that he has a leading roll in the about to be released "book of bull" and psalm # 69, where bull features as a ....

[turboplanner]

........ choir boy dressed in a gown and .......

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........ choir boy dressed in a gown and .......

.... intermingling with the choir girls in their long flowing gowns ("Ah, Susan Johnson, where are you now?" reminisced Cappy from his time as an innocent yet receptive young lad in the choir).

 

For bull also had a great deal to remember through the fog of time, and he .....

[turboplanner]

.....began to think of Mavis and the old RSL at Bone.

The more he thought, the more the wrinkles, warts and whiskers fell away and there was a young Mavis calling him down to the front beach (in her fog horn voice that had announced "No 22 Steak and Chips ready!!!" in the RSL.) and they would swim naked amongst the stingers and crocs, with half the town, woken by Mavis's call watching on.

He thought about the night he took Mavis for a joyride in the GT500 [averf]. The GT 500 was a single seater, but they flew along under the verandah of the Grand View, pulling out just before that end wall in the beautiful style bull was to show in later life.............................

[Captain]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

..... and they would swim naked amongst the stingers and crocs, with half the town, woken by Mavis's call watching on.

He thought about the night he took Mavis for a joyride in the GT500 [averf]. The GT 500 was a single seater, but they flew along under the verandah of the Grand View, pulling out just before that end wall in the beautiful style bull was to show in later life .......

..... when he was the smartarse slick-flying coach for the Red Bull Air Races and was also the personal trainer for all of Tom Cruise's cunning stunts in the Maverick movies.

 

bull has skills that overshadow most professional aviators and when it comes to the next Avalon Airshow, bull has been retained to .....

 

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

He thought about the night he took Mavis for a joyride in the GT500 [averf]. The GT 500 was a single seater, but they flew along under the verandah of the Grand View, pulling out just before that end wall in the beautiful style bull was to show in later life.......

Cappy notes Turbo's timely note of the avref in his above paragraph, but Cappy also notes where Turbo missed the following " ..... but they flew along under the verandah of the Grand View, pulling out [CatholicBirthControlRef] just before ....."

 

Edited July 26 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......hitting a bus travelling along Dalrymple St, then got out of control and landed on top of a Palm tree in Herbert St.

Getting down was harder..............................

[Captain]

10 hours ago, turboplanner said:

......hitting a bus travelling along Dalrymple St, then got out of control and landed on top of a Palm tree in Herbert St.

Getting down was harder..............................

.... as the young bull and young Mavis, who had always fancied each other ever since Kindy, tried to shinny down the coconut laden palm tree while locked in an embrace that appeared, to the excited observing crowd, to also involve some .....

 

It is noted in the above response by Turbo, that he is actually replying to his own earlier post, however Cappy has decided to let it slide and just continue on, given Turb's current condition.

Edited July 29 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....seized components.

Three days later the GR500 fell out of the tree while some Bone Council Parks & Gardens  (BCPG) were .......

 

Turbo apologises for the mistake; he is recovering from a Tribunal Hearing which lasted seven months where he made history by making a Tribunal Member laugh, but it's been a gruelling time, and he's trying to stop himself from standing every time someone enters his latte shop.

[bull]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....seized components.

Three days later the GR500 fell out of the tree while some Bone Council Parks & Gardens  (BCPG) were .......

 

Turbo apologises for the mistake; he is recovering from a Tribunal Hearing which lasted seven months where he made history by making a Tribunal Member laugh, but it's been a gruelling time, and he's trying to stop himself from standing every time someone enters his latte shop.

.crossing over the road to the front bar of the  North Aus hotel for smoko when...................

[turboplanner]

.....a Yellow Daintree Tree Snake, asleep in the middle of the road felt the vibrations .........

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....a Yellow Daintree Tree Snake, asleep in the middle of the road felt the vibrations .........

......, and they were good vibrations (BeachBoysref) too, and sufficient to set .....

[turboplanner]

......him on his way through the streets looking for refuge.

Not many people know that apart from being the vegetable and fruit capital of Australia, trucking produce as far away as Perth (Try some of those Bruised Mangoes, OT) it has some beautiful gardens and trees.

 

The YDTS snaked his way into a prolific garden and up a tree which overhung the footpath.

 

We should explain to more recent NES members that Bone has a chip on it's shoulder because it just misses out on being part of the more romantic FNQ which starts at Cardwell. Nessers will remember that we brought you a sharp in-focus photo  of the rarely seen Cardwell Snow Leopard some years ago. 

 

One of these was now sauntering along Leichardt St, with it's tail high in the air, looking for a chicken pen.

 

The snake, which had got there first, had just seen the chickens below when ........

 

 

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Nessers will remember that we brought you a sharp in-focus photo of the rarely seen Cardwell Snow Leopard some years ago.

One of these was now sauntering along Leichardt St, with its tail high in the air, looking for a chicken pen.

The snake, which had got there first, had just seen the chickens below when .....

..... what had previously been reported in the Leopard Spotters Weekly Newsletter as a Cardwell Snow Leopard, was actually a Greater Bone Mud & Other Crap Leopard, so the eyes of the YDTS and the GBM&OCL met as they targeted a particularly plump pullet at the premises of Leichardt St Chook Supplies and Pullet Pellets (LSCS&PPs).

 

Now such a YDTS/GBM&OCL confrontation had never before been recorded in the wild, and certainly not at the LSCS&PPs, so this caused .......

 

 

The actual particularly plump pullet (PPP) that had been targeted.

Edited July 30 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....people to come running from all directions of Bone (and there weren't too many directions up near FNQ).

Charley Slattery was up on the hill trying to start his old three-stick B Model Mack. He'd given it eight rrrrrpppps! and he was now out of air so he pushed in the brake button and let her roll  down the hill.

 

Halfway down the hill old Mrs Welcome was sweeping palm fronds off the road and wondering what was going on down at Leichardt St; her little Snauzer was barking at the rustle of every frond; a drummer started belting out a ........