The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

44 minutes ago, onetrack said:

Const Doubtfire soothed bulls agony with a gentle.........

..... squeeze of his oversized .....

[turboplanner]

..........feet.

bull had always been embarrased by his oversized feet, and he cracked a prawner's joke to distract her.

Big mistake; Const. Doubtfire slapped the cuffs on him, biffed him with the truncheon to soften him up then tased him on his ...............

[Captain]

.... other oversized .....

[turboplanner]

.......feature. When the barbs went in bull danced like a Sailfish..........................

 

 

[Captain]

44 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......feature. When the barbs went in bull danced like a Sailfish..........................

 

 

..... with transvestite tendencies and limp fins.

 

It is relvant to recall that the Blue Oyster used to have a "Sailfish half price" night each full moon, when it became normal to .....

[onetrack]

......go outside and howl at the moon for a number of the BO patrons, who had always been regarded as a bit strange, anyway. But bull wasn't one of them, fortunately - even though his howls from the barbs made people jerk upright in bed, with the hairs on their necks bristling, and making these people think that..........

[turboplanner]

......was doing another BOB balancing dance, where the gin accumulated during the day had him swaying and swerving to Midnight Oil's ............

[Captain]

13 hours ago, turboplanner said:

......was doing another BOB balancing dance, where the gin accumulated during the day had him swaying and swerving to Midnight Oil's ............

..... as yet publicly unreleased hit "Midnight Oil Changes on VH aircraft are best completed by a LAME" ......... and Peter Garrett gave 100% of his parliamentary pension to the families of the kids that were killed in the pink batt debacle.

 

The BOB and Steve-of-Loxley (for those new NES members, Ahlocks was one of the pioneers of this now massively internationally popular NES genre, and he flew a converted beer-can) were rocking to Pete G's gyrations and the ladies in the house that night were the senior teams from the Tumut & Coolamon Netball Clubs, so the night was off to a ......

Edited Tuesday at 06:52 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

........flying [AVR.EF] start.

Then the bikies from Henty arrived dressed in ................

 

Mention of Steve-of-Loxley brings back memories of how the NES got this site off the ground and into mainstream high-volume use. It was Steve's question "When you are building a plane out of beer  cans, do you have to empty them first. The over - 1500 answers set the tone for the next decade  

 

 

 

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

.......flying [AVR.EF] start.

Then the bikies from Henty arrived dressed in ........

...... chaps and subdued pastel leather vests.

 

In a similar manner to "Dykes-on-Bikes", the Henty chapter are known as "Chaps-in-Chaps" and just like the DoBs, always without undies (erkyperkyref).

 

The CiCs are also part of the CommonCherios and the Banned-Eat-Ohs and all had to take up dual Labanese or middle eastern citizenship .... like Western Australians, Mextorians and Tasmanians have the same dual citizen requirements if they want an Australian passport.

 

The Wagga branch of the Cough-in-Cheaters were at the BOB that very night wearing their little blue Fauci masks to intimidate the crowd, and they .....

Edited Tuesday at 10:42 PM by Captain

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

Mention of Steve-of-Loxley brings back memories of how the NES got this site off the ground and into mainstream high-volume use. It was Steve's question "When you are building a plane out of beer  cans, do you have to empty them first. The over - 1500 answers set the tone for the next decade 

While Crappy is happy to similarly acknowledge Ahlo's invaluable contributions in getting the NES up to its current international subscription level, it is also a fact that a recent Inquiry by the Wagga community has found that at least 6 houses burnt down, and 4 cute puppies died while stuck in hot & locked parked cars, during times where Ahlox was composing some of his NES tomes.

Edited Tuesday at 10:48 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....locked so cute, and handily shut down the usual spittle flow that was the main hazard when talking to that lot.

Turbo always carried a "CC Free Pass" which dated from a time when he was driving in the outback and came across a distressed C-C beside his broken down Harley. He was out of food and about to consume the last of his water, and had written a note which even Scorates would have had a problem reading. Turbo didn't do the unthinking "Gotta problem mate?"

 

 Instead he fed the C-C with steak and caviar washed down by a Penfolds Grange, which was all he was carrying, and kicked the old Harley over a few times. He recognised the problem immediately - broken gugeon pin and piston, so he cut a bit off the end of one of the Land Cruiser's mounting bolts, cut off the bottom of the Grange Bottle, used some "never fail" putty to make bosses, washed out the Harley and replaced the oil with genuine Toyota synthetic 15w30 oil and she fired first kick. Aside from the CC Free Pass which has saved Turbo on numerous occasions when he couldn't help saying "How are they hanging girls!" he gets one free Clubroom entry voucher every year when "Gary" as we'll call him (he's wanted by QPS) writes to report another cylinder rebuilt each year, but the "Turbo Grange" still holding 148 and running flawlessly.

 

It was at one of these free nights that Turbo......................

 

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

 ..... even Scorates .......

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

It was at one of these free nights that Turbo.......

...... took a lead from Scorates and his story of the Iliad (even though Homer claimed the copyright, we all know that Scorates wrote the 1st & 3rd drafts) and decided to test just what dastardly transgression the C-C Free Pass would save him from.

 

So Turbo chose to he push the C-C Free Pass boundary by .......

 

Scorates (the bloke in the grey hair that looks like Turbo in his younger days) and Homer (the bearded dude that looks a bit like a young bull) having a chat about the flow of royalties from the publication of the Iliad and of the film rights (less George Clooney's appearance fee).

 

This chat soon turned into a nasty blue that caused the death of the early Ultralight movement in Greece when Homer yelled, in frustration, "They are not real aircraft, and medicals are essential to aviation safety" and this was seconded by both Pythagoras and Leonard de Vince.

 

Edited Wednesday at 09:05 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......reading up on Scorates whom he'd never seen quoted, even in the Library of Alexandria, which he visited regularly.

The first thing he found was that Sco maintained that he'd designed the original Jackaroo.

This showed that the ancient Greeks possessed the skill of time-travel.

The enigma was if you were skilled at time-travel, why would you go out in the cold to the airport, fix the leaks and go flying in a XXXXXXX Jackaroo?

Sco (after a quick trip from ancient times) ...........

[Captain]

 ..... spoke about the thrill of having the wind whistling up the leg of his Stubbies (for our international readers, Stubbies are a brand of fly-less short legged trouser or pant, and this reference does not refer to the dimensions or proportion of what he has within them).

 

Jackaroos sold well in Greec as a result, and after one flew the length of the Corinth Canal while just 4 ft off the water, the .....

Edited Friday at 11:26 PM by Captain

[turboplanner]

........large Greec Flag trailing behind so low that it appeared to cut the land in two.

Of course, within a few hours there were AI imitations of this where the flag was Austrian, Italian, Canadiern, Frence, Russiane, and even Mongrellian.

Then there were the AI aircraft variants including Da Vinchy's's flying machine and then under the guise of "Rod's Page, or Ken's Page, or Dominic's page, a variety of odd aircraft, and even one headed bull's page, with a Greec bull running in front of a Tasmanian flag. It looked like his thru-bolt was about to fail and just as Turbo shouted a warning ............ 

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Then there were the AI aircraft variants including Da Vinchy's's flying machine and then under the guise of "Rod's Page, or Ken's Page, or Dominic's page, a variety of odd aircraft, and even one headed bull's page, with a Greec bull running in front of a Tasmanian flag. It looked like his thru-bolt was about to fail and just as Turbo shouted a warning ............ 

..... the one headed bull, a rarity in Tasmania, took the Tasmanian flag and shoved it .....

Edited Saturday at 07:30 PM by Captain

[onetrack]

.......right through the red flag that bull was waving outside the cockpit. The crowd went wild, and shouts and cries of "¡Olé!!" and "¡Viva España!!!" rang out loudly and repeatedly, thus reminding bull he was in the wrong country.

 

He'd been wondering why the countryside didn't look quite right for Tasmania, it was flatter and drier, and he'd been wondering why there were a lot of olive groves and cork tree plantations - and now he knew.

 

At that point, bull deeply regretted not spending more time on his cross-country navigation lessons, instead of partying all night at the Bone B&S balls.

But he was sure he'd be able to navigate his way back to Australia, just as soon as the cries of cries of "¡Olé!!" and "¡Viva España!!!" died down, and he could find someone who spoke English (or even Tasmanian!). 

 

However, as these thoughts spun through bulls active mind, the through-bolt finally broke with a "TWANG", making bull yell out, "WTF was THAT NOISE??", and next second..........

 

Edited yesterday at 02:08 AM by onetrack

[Captain]

14 hours ago, onetrack said:

However, as these thoughts spun through bulls active mind, the through-bolt finally broke with a "TWANG", making bull yell out, "WTF was THAT NOISE??", and next second......

..... the thru-bolt hit him on the side of his calf .......... which was sitting in the passenger's seat & looking forward to life on bull's expansive property in Tasmania. 

 

It was a bull-calf too, and bull had named him .....

[Captain]

For those with little knowledge of our stalwart NES contributor, bull, he owns most of the SW quarter of Tasmania, including the Franklin Dam, which he uses as a duck pond and water feature for his mansion and private zoo, where the elephants & hippos love the dam water.

Edited 13 hours ago by Captain

[turboplanner]

..........."bullie", which was to dog him all his life because he was ...........

 

bull, of course had made his money with the bone mango, vegetable and other ets corporation ay which he had founded after arriving in bone with the seat out of his pants except for 12 radish seeds in a surviving pocket.

Edited 12 hours ago by turboplanner

[Captain]

38 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

..........."bullie", which was to dog him all his life because he was ......

..... also without the natural, inbuilt and inane respect that comes from capital letters, plus even when he stood 2 metres at the shoulder, dopy Hobartites and Mainlanders that were visiting the SW to see what all the Frankin hubub had been about a few years ago (some even asked whether our beloved bull might actually be Bob Brown in normal clothes) thought that bullie was just a big dog and would throw sticks & tennis balls for him to chase, in which case he would just .........

 

What city folk thought bullie would look like and why they threw him sticks and balls.

 

 

What bullie actually looked like when he grew up. (You can still see the mark from the Thru-bolt on his left side).

Edited 11 hours ago by Captain

[bull]

29 minutes ago, Captain said:

..... also without the natural, inbuilt and inane respect that comes from capital letters, plus even when he stood 2 metres at the shoulder, dopy Hobartites and Mainlanders that were visiting the SW to see what all the Frankin hubub had been about a few years ago (some even asked whether our beloved bull might actually be Bob Brown in normal clothes) thought that bullie was just a big dog and would throw sticks & tennis balls for him to chase, in which case he would just .........

 

What city folk thought bullie would look like and why they threw him sticks and balls.

 

 

What bullie actually looked like when he grew up. (You can still see the mark from the Thru-bolt on his left side).

NES early contributors would know that the origins of Bull being called Bull has nothing to do with bovines!  It comes from the years of prawn fishing in the  Gulf and PNG ,his crew called him that as normally Bull was easy going until you stirred  him up then he could turn into a "Bullrout" Just for everyone's information and to discourage disinformation upon this platform thankyou.

[bull]

Just now, bull said:

NES early contributors would know that the origins of Bull being called Bull has nothing to do with bovines!  It comes from the years of prawn fishing in the  Gulf and PNG ,his crew called him that as normally Bull was easy going until you stirred  him up then he could turn into a "Bullrout" Just for everyone's information and to discourage disinformation upon this platform thankyou.

Bull in easy going mode. And Bull when upset....

[bull]

3 minutes ago, bull said:

Bull in easy going mode. And Bull when upset....

The Bullrout is sedentary, extremely well-camouflaged and armed with venomous fin spines. The species should be handled with extreme care as it may inflict excruciatingly painful puncture wounds on unwary