bull

4 hours ago, Captain said:

..... Onesie is the owner and publisher of the WA Women's Monthly, the WA Heavy Equipment Digest, and the wildly popular bi-weekly Doing Creative Stuff With Sand.

 

OT therefore has more power that just one poxy FTA TV network, plus the OT is much loved and supported by the common folk of the Western Province, so that he only .....

..only had to show his face in.....

7 hours ago, Captain said:

..... professionally prepared notes as a delegate of the U&LMSFA, where he was very effective in making the points about the consequences for non-Murray (Upper nor Lower) (Scout nor non-Scout) (Flyer or non-Flyer [avref x 2]) members, who had had enough of the ....... 

.............. little ham sandwiches and free cups of coffee ,and suddenly shouts could be heard of food poisoning and the toilets backed up and human sh.........

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....the Delegate from the Upper and Lower Murray Scout Flyers Association walked into the room, straight from the Dairy with his hob nail gum boots gouging the new planed and polished floor.

 

He froze, his mouth open in a rictus of fear.

 

On the screen was a powerpoint slide; on the slide was the back end of a Mutton Bird and on the Mutton Bird was the tattoo of the dreaded Moderati.

 

The Moderati were believed to have died out in the Medieval period when warriors from the Turbine clan put them to the axe, but every now and again one shows up. Loxie was one and Cappy had seen his tattoo but never told anyone. After Loxie was caught with his hand in the biscuit jar at AUF he was never heard from again.

 

Nobody noticed the three small scars under the Dele.gate's left ear, but they noticed he was starting to transform...........

.into a :cessna pilot: .............Suddenly there was a huge.............

On 21/05/2025 at 7:03 AM, Captain said:

bull was always going to struggle to .......

come to grips with the chastity part though and soon the urge to..................

2 hours ago, Captain said:

, monsieur Le bull, it would mean so much for moi an ze future of ze church, and will you also .....

will be on the 72 virgin list with out the other religion thingy,,now this caused a furore amongst the attending parishioners with calls of,,where's my 72 virgins ,how come this upstart from Australia gets first dibs? Bull turned to old popey and said............. 

12 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......they had eliminated the Great Capitan!; scourge of the Punjab and Khyber Pass!

However, those of us who serve with him know his towell smells like a pack of hyena after they've been feasting on the rotting carcass of an elephant.

 

The towell was still there and it was noted that not one Pakistani or Chinese Aircraft (China was supporting both sides) aircraft flew anywhere near it. Those in the trenches downwind knew why; it was the old Khyber Towell trick and worked ........

...every time ,why i,ll tell you a story about the time the towel was used to topple the ..............

21 hours ago, onetrack said:

Dear NES'ers, it has come to our attention that some contributors to the NES fail to refresh their web browser, and pick up posts from a week ago, to add their contributions, thus leading to much disconnection and confusion in the story thread.

If this continues to happen, the Moderators need to seriously consider whether those offenders should be sent to an NES re-education camp - or at the very least, sent to a computer training authority to bring them up to speed from 1986 and MS-DOS. This is an issue that demands serious action. Thank you.

............well the moderators can go and get F$%k#d the bloody #$%$%% sort of &^%$$# thats all i have to say about that stated Bull as he walked out and headed to the bar............

On 08/05/2025 at 9:33 AM, turboplanner said:

.........Raj, who had left his Kenworth at Moree and was flying back to India to become a fighter pilot. There were actually 387 others in blue singlets and shorts, all going home to become fighter pilots and there were Kenworths parked up the full length of the Newell and Bruce Highways.

 

And that's not all; all the Roadhouses that served the munchy curry that gave you the runs on a long trips, leading to aboriginal site names being replaced by names like "Whiteass Pass" were gone to fight in the Indian Army.

 

"Walruss Team 6" had been carefully selected, so Cappy and Turbo could be Joint 3 Star Generals, not required on the front line, and The Observation Officer was bull who given a weird looking grey thing and a pair of Chinese binoculars. bull was a natural of course because you only had to look at the dilapidated aircraft he flew to know he could keep anything flying. Sergeant CT was in charge of the Snipers, and RSM One Track was in charge of logistics, transport and purchasing.

 

As WT6 left Australia ..........

......in a mahindra G8 airvan [long over due avref] and hugged the coast as they flew into the heart of the dragon. Now not everyone knows but WT6 had been trained to do  a very ...............................

50 minutes ago, Captain said:

Will all NESers please be patient  over the coming days, as Don called and has asked Turdy and I to head over and sort out the India vs Pakistan stoush, due to our experience up the Khyber.

 

It will be a pleasure to be in the centre of world events again, and/or operating behind the lines with my great mate again .... where we have always been allocated the code "Walrus Team 6".

.Bull has also received his invite,and Donny has arranged the delivery of a brand new  fighter for Bull to get acquainted with. Here he is testing it out at Hobart international earlier this week.

11 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......eliminate air bubbles, overcome gravity and fill the gascolator for an uneventful flight over long ........................................

..periods of intense..........

On 03/05/2025 at 12:54 AM, onetrack said:

.......pumping system, which involves hand operation of the primary member until it........

.builds up enough pressure to............

9 hours ago, Captain said:

..... a coniptionicious rage and stamped his feet, such that he almost stepped on his poodle, and also on Jodie's cat, which would have hurt a lot and would have needed an NDIS .....

..................to get back into the spiel on the :VOICE: 2 point o......Now some of the........

On 22/04/2025 at 4:04 AM, turboplanner said:

....the miners had all changed to Mini Skirts; a few years late but so was Broken Hill and when they competed in the Hill Aerobatics championships ................................... 

 they emulated that famous movie  Priscilla of the desert theme and had.........

On 17/04/2025 at 3:19 AM, turboplanner said:

.....open admiration and hope. She ..................

.........remembered the nights after the sessions at at the Bone rissole,my god she thought,,,,my sna...............

........

8 hours ago, onetrack said:

.....was even given any of this dodgy Chinese tucker, I wouldn't feed it to my dog!! That Chinese cat is the biggest giveaway ever, and I wouldn't be seen dead in a Chinese restaurant! - let alone go into one to vote!"

 

Turbo sighed. This bloke was a major problem, and he needed to be dealt with in a manner suiting his abrasive nature. Turbo decided it must be all the exposure to West Australian sand that gave Bluey his abrasive nature - and God knows, Esperance has sand aplenty.

 

"Let's go over to the Sailors Arms pub and have a little talk over a beer and good old meat pie", said Turbo. "They not only serve Emu Bitter over there, they sell good pies containing real beef!"

 

"Now yer talking!", exclaimed Bluey. "Lead on, I need to..........

.have a piss,so after Turbo went in the door  Bluey walked around the back of the pub to have a slash and seen Turbo in the yard loading up shovels and potato sacks and such into the ute!   WTF was going on thought "Bluey" as he slid out of sight and as he was backing around the corner a hand landed on his shoulder and a loud voice said...................

14 hours ago, Captain said:

..... , and it is little known that Rosie is OT's nom-de-plume when contributing to the forums (fora?) on the AOPA, AAPA, OZALPA and the SAAA websites, such is OT's desire to inform all other pilots of the benefits of living in W. (Turbo, on the other hand also contributes jewels of knowledge to those Fora, but he does it just to p**% them all off, same like he does here).

 

While DG Trucks does indeed designate "Dangerous Goods", it is also little known that the CT has a sideline building them in a production line in the DG Men's Shed, as a sideline to his Advanced Welding Course (This has been invaluable in providing practical lessons on the issues around the failure of high tensile steel after welding [and after all what are a few fatalities on the expressway out of DG, when they are only Mextorians] when welders need to be taught), where he ........ 

.indoctrinated all the new ...................

18 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....improvement on what that Indian Rider "Dusty" OTrack had suggested; "INYERFACE!!" over a WA Cop badge.

DOT had waved and wrinkled his shoulders as a Highway Patrol was about to pass and they took the bait and lit up. OT had always imagined himself as a Western Bert Munro, and gave the Indian a whiff of WOT. The rear suspension squatted and the Indiuan came out of the blocks like a Kangaroo Dog catching DOT by surprise. He slid back onto the pillion only to see the nose of the new Nissan Patrols with the 400 hp V8 petrol motors right beside him and about to PIT him with the bull bar, but his trusty Indian was up to it and......

...........as OT turned the throttle to full the once trusty old girl suddenly decided she had had enough and threw a rod through the block and started slowing down ,,,now old Bert ,,aka,,OT was faced with a situation that needed a remedy.....The seconds ticked over really slow for Bert as the once trusty old indian slowed more and more...............

1 hour ago, Captain said:

...... that very day that the Gazans and the other 27 Muslim sects decided to fully assimilate, except that they told Cappy to stick his pink Suzuki.

 

Mahommet said "These Aussies are as crazy as we are, so let's be brothers, then get me a Tooheys and a bacon McOz."

 

It was at that very moment, dear readers, that all racial tensions eased throughout Australia, with added potential for peace in the Middle East, and all due to the sterling efforts of Ambassador/Emissary bull .............. however there was another small problem brewing when Mahommet said "Just call me Mo", but then announced that their 3 new bike clubs would be called the "Hells Prophets" the "Hamas Jokers" and the "Bandaged-Didos".

 

The boys patched up using lots of green background with white backwards writing, and were about to ......

...to send it to the printer when.................

52 minutes ago, Captain said:

...... our WA mate just laughed a brave laugh, thrust his large farmer's hands, with their podgy fat fingers, into his RMW moleskins, and stared Don down.

 

"If you try that, we will put a charge on all of the radio transmissions in and out of North West Cape and in/out of Kojarena, plus we will not allow any of our women to do the horizontal hula with any American servicemen (or women (NTTIAWWT))" said OT with a confident swagger.

 

"Geez" said Don to JD "This bloke knows his stuff and I have been aware for a long time that OT wrote "The Deal of the Art" well before I thought of changing it around a bit, so OT is not a bloke to mess around with ..... plus it's a lot harder to vaporize him from a drone, when all that WA iron ore messes up the compass and stuff, not to mention the constant sand and dust storms that get into the engines, so I'd better ......

........just wack on a 50% tariff on those frozen hot dogs from Turdies cat farms industries [the yanks love em] even old Donny likes his hot cats as they call them now . This trend started spreading world wide with OT and Turbo and even old Cappy where soon building the new Hotcats brand with franchises selling at a rate of 3 a minute ...The smiles at the annual investors meeting at the Bone rissole soon got off to a great start with OT .................

4 hours ago, Captain said:

.... into a gay bar in Holland (NTTIAWWT). 

 

But that was only because ......

.of what OT flopped out before! The attendees where shocked and...................

18 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

drew the attention of the famous Psychologist Sanguin Freud who single-handed and without computers foundthe whole of WA only had six great, great, great, grandfathers and eight great, great,great grandmothers, so it's no surprise to find the old saying "We had to make-do in our time" comes from Western Australia.

The problem was how to deal with it.

....now OT was booked in at Cable beach resort for some much needed RNR [weekend piss up] so was somewhat distracted when the question was asked and so unzipped and.........

8 hours ago, Captain said:

..... the silk road should revert to an unmade track, similar to what they were when OT used to ride his pushy from Southern Cross to Bordertown each week, in search of gold with his mate Harry Lasseter, and to pick up the mail.

 

Genghis respected OT's ideas and academic qualifications, plus Genghis just like OT as a good bloke, so he ......

 

Onesie on the way to get his letters

...............had him arrested and brought before the .............. 

3 hours ago, Captain said:

..... local house of ill repute, also known as the "Cat Farm", the girls all still talk fondly of Turbo's generosity, despite his egg-like ..... 

.....protuberance he was always generous in the tip after the girls did this one thing ,and Mavis [on loan from the Bone rissole] got the most of all for ..... 

On 06/03/2025 at 12:38 AM, Captain said:

..... inclusion in a Benny Hill skit and an honored appearance in a Russel Coight video, before ......

 

 

Being taken south to an undisclosed location to..........

9 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........called the Khybers together.

Mahatma, he said "You'll go down the left flank."

Oh, and I am very much looking in the eyes left!" said Mahatma

He shook his head and signed ........

....the non discloser clause in the contract wondering why such trivial inclusion's such as.................