ahlocks Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 "Arrgh!!! :confused: icky pooh! :yuk: yuk! nasty!:yuk:" screamed LovaK, when his wife explained what the 'Shervo' bit would probably be about. (obviously not a sport follower, eh wot?) "That ash blonde pirate should wash his eyes out with Solvol, for watching and thinking of such things!":confused::ah_oh::ah_oh::yuk: "It's horses for courses" cooed Nana. "And that silver skipper :heart: could be my horse any time he wants.:heart:..."hi ho silver!!!! ...and you should see his... eyes bulge when...... ============ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 eyes bulge when...... ....... the Ahlovachian started to use more emoticons than Bigpete when in his prime. And whereas EmoticonPete had been charged $5.00 per con, this was originally to be increased to $6.78 due to inflation, the tightening of the emoticon futures market (due to the fact that speculators were operating in that market at the time) and the price of oil which is a substantial component in the manufacture of emoticons (particularly those that move or have a pinkish hue). However with the recent slowdown in the world economy, and in the number of posters on the NES (particularly Biguse-of-graphicsPete), there is an over-supply at the present time which reduces the chage to $5.17 per use + a carbon and CO2 capture surchage of $0.23 each. All above figures exclude GST, however an addition aviation surcharge will now be added by all State Governments as everyone knows that all aircraft owners must be full of cash. Whereas we all know that they are just full of "it". "I wish I was" said the Riverland Lass "If only I had ................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahlocks Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 .."I wish I was" said the Riverland Lass "If only I had ................ ".. another 'fiddie' to flick to a genuine collection fund for those poor people down in mexico" she added.:thumb_up: LovaK nodded in agreement, though he knew that pilots and plane owners are usually close to broke , he recalled (yes at this time of the night :raise_eyebrow:) that after other major disasters, the mongrel factor set up dodgy websites and sent phishy e-mails to steal bank details and donations.thumb_down "Those e-mails and sites are as ficticious as some of the stories spun here" retorted Lovak, " 'specially the one about about turbo's cat farm and his....." ============== Strange things can keep you awake at night.....:confused: ..not just pens and gardens ;) ... or fools with matches. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted February 12, 2009 Share Posted February 12, 2009 Well I'll go for a ball of chalk mate - you guys had me there - I thought that you were talking about underpants, them bein' 'skiddies' - I guess that I've got a lot to learn. "Now listen Snooky" said Slartibuttcrack 'You need to be a bit careful with your language as this here NES is a quality thread and we can't have it degraded by the use of terms like "Skiddies", not only because it may be offensive to those delicate souls that read the NES, but because it reminds me of what happened when I had my little whoopsie. So no more of that, unless of course you are referring to the skiddies that your cricketers get involuntarily in their undies when they have to face our brave lads for the Ashes." 'Too right ... and fair suck of the savv" said le Crappe "Ive never been so offended ...... when these poms visit this fine site and come the raw prawn. Ban him, Butty, ban him." Then the Slow-vacuum piped up and said "............. The gold Schaefer of my rich pommy aunt is in the formal garden at her country estate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahlocks Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 Then the Slow-vacuum piped up and said "............. .."aww strewth krapatan, that sucks.." in a slow drawn out drawl. "yuz a gotta cut some slack for visitors from that cold cloudy place . 'Snot their fault that they speak funny...." While still enduring nightmarish flashbacks about a swinging lycra clad pecker :ah_oh::yuk:, SlowvaK looked to the sky and slowly noticed..... ========== The broken stick used for a pen was pinched from a poms garden Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 ... SlowvaK looked to the sky and slowly noticed..... .... the apex of Shervo's pursed lips. So Mrs Slow-Vacuum couldn't stop her eyes from wandering down ..... and there, like the pendulum of death, was ..... My aunt uses that pendulum as a sun-dial in her garden Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hihosland Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 an expired asic card quietly pendulating on a red ribbon lanyard which in bright gold script was brazenly inscribed with the words ".............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahlocks Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 ..."EXPIRED?" Yay! HiHocanlandanywhere saves the day:clap::thumb_up: for SlovaK was living up to his new name :raise_eyebrow: and had nothing i_dunno:question::confused: to come back with to the Hauptman's lead....:black_eye: "Pursed lips indeed!" huffed Slovak, " and to even consider eye balling someone elses ASIC ...." :clown:;) ========= Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 "Pursed lips indeed!" huffed Slovak, " and to even consider eye balling someone elses ASIC ...." :clown:;) ...... as McAhlock"s female companion would have explained to him in graphic detail before post # 1127, in Matt's case 'ASIC" is an abreviation for "A Swinging Incredible ............ The swinging pendulum sundial in my Aunt's garden reads 9 am/3pm/9am/235mm all the time Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahlocks Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 'ASIC" is an abreviation for "A Swinging Incredible .... "Arrgh!!! icky pooh! , That bloody Hauptman is trying to induce nightmares again!!! swore SlovaK. "Even skin tight moleskins on a three axe handle wide bushpig's bum is more appealing." "Ohhh, I dunno" swooned :heart::heart: the Riverland Lass, as she slinked toward the green lycra sundial. "There's something hypnotic :raise_eyebrow: about that pendulating mass..." =============== There's a smile on the dial of the lass in the garden Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted February 13, 2009 Share Posted February 13, 2009 "Ohhh, I dunno" swooned :heart::heart: the Riverland Lass, as she slinked toward the green lycra sundial. "There's something hypnotic :raise_eyebrow: about that pendulating mass..." Her eyes were on the prize and she therefore wasn't looking into Matt's eyes, so she was amazed when she heard a familiar voice. "Surprise" said BigPete (which brings a new meaning to his forum name) "That is my secret weapon for keeping the 160 tracking true, why the ball is always in the middle, and why I can stop the aircraft on a zac." "That is no "secret"" said the Lass, whose head swayed back and forth like she was watching Federer and Nadal at the final. "You are making me giddy with anticipation. Can I have a ride .......... in your 160? I hear that they are one of the greatest aircraft of the last 100 years and I would be honoured." "Me too" said Stevelovak "As I've only got a .......... My Aunt is tired, after hours out there in the garden with that pen .......dulum Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hihosland Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 "Me too" said Stevelovak "As I've only got a .......... 24 hour pass and that has already expired since the Hauptman last posted to the NES. There was time when I was terrified of the 24hr deadline because they had me convinced that if I stayed out later the CZ cruiser would turn into a pumpkin. Not true. The first time that HoldHerDownPete made me late nothing happened other than the nice men in the white coats came two by two instead of just one at a time. In truth I prefer my white coats single place and in pusher configuration. The wings high plastic 4 place pretending to be 2 place pretending to be four are just too common and in any case my Nana did warm me against any and all that have anything suggestive of a left leaning or turning tendency. PS You wanna know a secret about BallInTheCentrePete? On Friday last I did see him ……………. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted February 15, 2009 Share Posted February 15, 2009 PS You wanna know a secret about BallInTheCentrePete? On Friday last I did see him ……………. ................ at one of Tubb's B&S Balls in the centre of town, and BigPete was the centre of attention for the reasons discussed in recent posts. "What was he wearing?" asked Cap'n. "Green lycra bike shorts, which I think are issued as part of the cockpit pack with green Cheetahs (because we hear that Slarti is often seen in a spotted pussy coloured set)" replied Mrs McVak "And I need to advise that BigPete looked pretty good (and so does Slarti .... who [we can now disclose as an NES exclusive] will be wearing his all Easter on the Cheetah stand at NatFly)". "I also understand that DeveloperPete has lodged a DA for a campground that is scheduled to be completed by late April 2009" said Cappy. "He'll make a fortune" said the scotsman "And he will also .................... The bikeshorts are a big attraction for my Aunt, in the garden Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 Supplementary Question Dear ahlock. I note that we have a fairly new forum member named "verloch". Is that perhaps your unblemished sister? Kind regards Geoff The pen of my Aunt has not defiled Steve's sister, in the garden Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest palexxxx Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 Dear ahlock. I note that we have a fairly new forum member named "verloch". Ah yes, verloch sired by ahlock out of vermin.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 Ah yes, verloch sired by ahlock out of vermin.... There you go. You see? Ahlock molests 1 (particularly good looking) rabbit (named Gwen) and people never forget it. Or was it a .......................? There are lots of rodents in my Aunt's garden (so PM me, ahlock, for the address) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hihosland Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 hare? An almost hare in almost March condemned to be forever almost pouring tea for Alice. Meanwhile the Mad Hatter from WGA-times-two cheerfully Drifters along completely strut braced while simultaneously attempting to .... Mine Tante scribes im garten mit Feder von hair von hare Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahlocks Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 ...while simultaneously attempting to .... ...Find the clause in the T&Cs of this site that forbids descrimination of gender, marital status and gettin' it on ;) with Gwe....er, vermin. ===================== The rodents in the Aunts garden?.... are they cute? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted February 16, 2009 Share Posted February 16, 2009 ...Find the clause in the T&Cs of this site that forbids descrimination of gender, marital status and gettin' it on ;) with Gwe....er, vermin. But ahlock's dalliance with the vermin pales into insignificance when compared to Slarti's bovine affair as confessed by him in post #851 of this thread. HOWEVER A READER WARNING IS HEREBY ADVISED, AS THAT POST INCLUDES TAUDRY DETAILS THAT MAY DISTRESS SOME VIEWERS - including a link to the photos and video on the goat's face-book page. "In my own defence, I feel compelled to advise that it wasn't really an "affair"" said Slartifastback "It was more of a one-night-stand" "Same for me" said the Czech fellow "And what happened in the privacy of Gwen's burrow is no worse than what goes on in my SportSzar on most flying days". "Erky, perky" said ............................... The vermin in my Aunt's garden were bred for their good looks, and are kept in an appropriately decorated pen with soft music and pastal colours. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest palexxxx Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 "Erky, perky" said ............................... The vermin in my Aunt's garden were bred for their good looks, and are kept in an appropriately decorated pen with soft music and pastal colours. .......the paleandwanindeterminedfactor "messing around with coney's, that's so not on. Don't you know AhloAhlo what happens when you mess around with lappin?.......hello?? havn't you heard of mixo?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 .......hello?? havn't you heard of mixo?" And as Ahlo climbed away from Gwen he said "I don't have mixo. I have self compensating carbies and they don't need any mixo adjustment. That is one of the beauties of Recreational Aviation". Just then his VSI went ape-sh*t, his ASI went wild, his heartrate went thru the roof, his g-meter went around the clock and his GKL went ................ Gwen is in tears in the garden being comforted by my Aunt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahlocks Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 his GKL went ................. ..something that GKLs do??? :confused: "Gwen...the two of us we.. mmm ... mmm ..mmm," hummed LovaK as he skimmed through a copy of 'Watership Down' for more lappin pick up lines. ;) "Holy Lappin lap dance!" :ah_oh::ah_oh: screamed Lovak!. "I'd forgot the Hauptman was circling above frauschmidt.... =============== The Gwen :heart: in the garden has an 'open' relationship :raise_eyebrow:i_dunno Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 "Holy Lappin lap dance!" :ah_oh::ah_oh: screamed Lovak!. "I'd forgot the Hauptman was circling above frauschmidt.... "Bout time" said the Skipper "How easily they forget you when they have a vermin obsession session. I have been circling up here for yonks, and while Jabs have exceptional economy and big tanks, she has been running on the odor of a gay Italian (the smell of an oily fag) (not that there is anything wrong with that)" [Or for those that need the NES to be PC .....she has been running on the odor of a hydrocarbon dipped cigarette (the smell of an oily fag) (the Cancer Council think that there is everything wrong with that)] "But I got some great aerial shots of you and Gwen (or was it Glen?) going for it" he added. "What did you pay for that GKL? Ahlocks, and what does it achieve in your dash?" asked the Skipper. Ahlock grinned and replied ..................... Gwen (or is it Glen?) will get over it in the garden with councilling by my Aunt (who is trained in finding out the true identity) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahlocks Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 Ahlock grinned and replied ............... "Oh that GKL! (:raise_eyebrow:) "The salesman (:wave:PeteH! - only kidding ) said every 'plane needs one and included it the once only special price, that also included a set of steak knives! "Dunno what it does though i_dunno, 'cuz I pulled all the circuit breakers for all the fancy gizmos. You just can't rely on them - They might fail " La Krappe grabbed the stick and pulled (have to stop using that word...) into a wing flexing stall turn ('bout 10 degress in a sun softened Jab ) and .... =============== The Gwen in the garden had better be a lady varmint :confused::ah_oh::broken_heart: (would this make LovaK a buckophobe?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hihosland Posted February 17, 2009 Share Posted February 17, 2009 ..lo and behold the J160 now had winglets just like J230 which in turn caused the the display on the Gyro Kenetic Leveler to glow bright red as it struggled to keep the whole shebang airborne and avoid premature left leanings. As the g forces rose the Le Krappe's haemorrhoided rose began to .......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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