hihosland Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 "Oh, bugga!" Linda muttered. "I've jumped to soon......." "that was never a problem for me nor any of the Riverland tribe" cries Nana from the depths of the garden where once she notices those creamy white Linda lady bumps muses.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigPete Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 Now boys, be carefull. :ah_oh: Linda is a real person and she just might have feelings :broken_heart: (and a solicitor). So play nice and ask before you touch. This message was posted in the hope that the NES will again come back to be stories about FLYING :thumb_up: and all things AVIATION. :thumb_up: (sigh) regards PastaPete or is that PastorPete Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Geoff1563861416 Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 Well said Pete:clap: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 Meanwhile Turbo was wandering through Hiroshima, and visited a museum where he found one of the few Zeros left. While taking photos he met an old guy whose grandson said he was a flier. When Turbo used sign language to ask if the old guy flew one he and his grandson became vague, enough to make Turbo suspect he was the real deal. By his sign language he indicated either the Zero was a bucket of crap, or he needed a toilet. The aircraft has a definite charisma - like standing next to a Hurricane. The undercarriage looks light, but of course they often only used it to take off. Standing on ground zero at Hiroshima was eerie, constantly looking up to make sure there wasn't another B29 up there ready to drop friendly fire, and looking out for a green sheeter just in case he showed up. The sad news is that Turbo had to drink the presents he got for Le Crappe and Avlovac, after having his shaving gel, after shave and even toothpaste taken off him at Tullamarine just in case he was a terrorist. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hihosland Posted March 11, 2009 Share Posted March 11, 2009 ........... Tullamarine just in case he was a terrorist. how good it is to know that terrorist turbo was foiled in his evil intention by an avid ASIC card carrier. When Hiho was in Hilo and visiting the Missouri museum three very elderly Japanese gentlemen were examining a captured mini sub ( piloted torpedo) with great attention. One of the attendendants went off and came back with a Japanese speaker who discovered that these three were teenagers at the end of the war and were in training as drivers? pilots? of these devices. Essentially a massive great tank of fuel & explosives with a tiny cockpit at the rear, the idea being that they would pilot it close into the target, arm it, aim it and then skeddadle. To where they were supposed to skeddadle did not seem very clear nor healthy. The war ended before their services were called upon. The staff member went off and came back with a bunch of keys and a ladder and allowed the Japanese to have a thorough look. Only one was brave/nimble enough to clamber aboard. A very moving experience to observe and one that I just happended to stumble upon. The whole museum experience very moving. Whatever judgements I may have of the Americans they do memorials extraordinarly well. Davidh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahlocks Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 This message was posted in the hope that the NES will again come back to be stories about FLYING :thumb_up: and all things AVIATION. :thumb_up: (sigh) Distracted by the commotion caused by Hidey Ho's slow approach and dust devil pirouette, :raise_eyebrow: The Riverland lass :heart: glanced away from the latest SigMet and NOTAMS. "Oh, look Nanna." i_dunno motioned the Lass, in a less than enthused tone. "They're holding a prayer meeting at the airfield." i_dunno "Oh goody gosh, that will be sooo much fun swapping aviation anecdotes and discussing things clean and pure." She yawned. "I'll not be discarded like an obsolete ERSA!" exclaimed Nanna. "Grab the GPS and some Afro dizzy ducks Lass, we're off to teach those staid stick in the muds how to fly Air Riverland :heart::heart:! Coffee tea or meeeee"... =============== A 737-300 is flying over the aunts garden -There is a pilot flying it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 This message was posted in the hope that the NES will again come back to be stories about FLYING :thumb_up: and all things AVIATION. :thumb_up: (sigh) So after being somewhat ignored by Linda in the other thread, Cut-to-the-quickPete decided to stick it up his fellow NES'ers as shown in the above quote, and we all hope he feels much better now. "I want no more talk of "pleasure"" he added "I demand stories about centre of "Pressure" and I insist of stories involving C of G, not Gee Spots" So the NES quickly deteriorated into .................... The aileron of my RAA member Aunt is near the dihedral in the empenage by the vertical stabiliser Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahlocks Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Good evening Citizen Captain, Not a good day for flying today owing to the inclement weather I thought. Although the easterly winds did have one considering a revised ETE on an up coming excursion to the western regions. Also, would you mind being a sport and disconnecting two of the pots on that fine aircraft of yours so as I will be able to keep pace? Yours in pureness, Citizen LovaK. ===================== The garden of the aunt is humourless..but probably not for long though. "Not if I have anything to do with it!" :heart::devil: added Nanna Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted March 12, 2009 Share Posted March 12, 2009 Good evening Citizen Captain, Not a good day for flying today owing to the inclement weather I thought. Although the easterly winds did have one considering a revised ETE on an up coming excursion to the western regions. Also, would you mind being a sport and disconnecting two of the pots on that fine aircraft of yours so as I will be able to keep pace? Yours in pureness, Citizen LovaK. Good morning Aviatorvak "I went to Avalon yesterday and there were a lot of SHRA's all the way down past Wangaratta, after which it started to PSSDWN with visibility of BGGRALL as I got closer to YAVE" said the Tugger "And then I heard there were a few TSTMS around YSWG YSWG in the morning (ZULU) about 1500 AEDST (ZULU)" "Stop talking about the weather or PolicemanPete will go crook again (ZULU)" said the Lass's Nanna "NES Sub-editorPete said he wants aviation stuff, and it's aviation stuff he shall have" she added "And bring on those ZULU blokes, as I used to use a shield at times". So Le Crapp went out to the thing where the planes and runways are kept, with his tape measure and checked out Ahlovach's cord length. "There's ya problem, McVach" he said (ZULU) "Your ........................ There was a spare beer can in my Aunt's garden (about 1500 Zulu) which she will bring to Natfly for the Cheetah and SportSzar owners PS ..... all NES'ers are asked to save all of their beer cans and send to Biggles2cworth. Looks like he might needa few of 'em after his latest woopsie. PPS ..... SURELY NES'erPete will be satisfied that all of the above involves AVIATION and FLYING as specified in his post #1253, as anyone who uses Zulu time & flys thru IMC must surely be a daring aviator with tales of derring doo, and a starched scarf streaming out the back. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigPete Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 ....and so it came to pass that the good fliers of the NES returned to the story telling of past and present exploits in the air and hardly a word about the ladies of loose morals (and clothing). :yuk: StymiedPete (who has suffered an Avalon setback due to poor dental health :black_eye:) has been uplifted and fortified by his fellow writers decorum :thumb_up: and looks forward to continuing cleanliness and good behaviour (we'll see). ;) Rumour has it that CleanSkinGeoff in Mildura is again running the machinery at night and will not appear at Avalon. thumb_down (It was hoped that "the vanilla guy" would do a drop and burp run of the FriarPuks good wine at the airshow just before the F-111 did its "fuel dump thing", but the RAAF guys said "we play second fiddle to no one - its him or us". The show organisers opted for the RAAF job as the AVTUR was deemed less toxic than the wine to the audience below. The good Captian :heart: has driven (VH-UTE) down to the show and is somewhat unimpressed. thumb_down I feel a little better. regards :big_grin::big_grin: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 This message was posted in the hope that the NES will again come back to be stories about FLYING :thumb_up: and all things AVIATION. :thumb_up: (sigh) regards PastaPete or is that PastorPete It has now been disclosed that Puss-yPete was high from infection and drugs when he wrote this ... not to mention his Avalon withdrawal symptoms making him a bit frenic and turning on his mates. And the Cap'n know a lot about all this as he owns 3 Dental Surgeries and is familiar with what goes on. Well, he has paid enough to own them, anyway. So fear not. Once FaceAchePete has his socket emptied, then sucked dry, he'll be back to normal and looking for baudy stories as well as AVIATION ans FLYING stuff as per his previous specification. "He's already talking about "canals" and dropping the "root" word on another thread, so he is almost there." added Le Crapp. "Does anyone want to suck the poison out" asked PainkillerPete. "I will" said ................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahlocks Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 "I will" said ................. ...BigLes. "I seem to suck pretty much at a few other things, so I should be quite adept at it." "I can suck a billiard ball through a drinking straw if you're interested?" added Nanna.:heart: - Much to PurePete's distain.:ah_oh::yuk: Lovak was dismayed :confused: (as well as quite stoned from medication following a simple surgery to is nether regions ) to learn that the NES Aviation hero, La Krapatain, had cheated and driven VH-UTE i_dunno to Avalon instead of dodging TSH as Lovak had believed.:ah_oh::black_eye: "And this is the bloke in which I trust to lead me to far away lands to the West to subvert the pure..." queried LovaK:question: (oh look, pink elephants....) =============== The aunts garden looks prettyyyyyy Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Lovak was dismayed :confused: (as well as quite stoned from medication following a simple surgery to is nether regions ) to learn that the NES Aviation hero, La Krapatain, had cheated and driven VH-UTE i_dunno to Avalon instead of dodging TSH as Lovak had believed.:ah_oh::black_eye: "And this is the bloke in which I trust to lead me to far away lands to the West to subvert the pure..." queried LovaK:question: (oh look, pink elephants....) "You missed the point there, McLocks" said a grizzled wise old aviator who always made sure that he told people one wise anecdote each day (and bored everyone S**tless) "By taking VH-UTE he lived to fly another day, so that he CAN go over to Chewka with you & his 6 bottles of BB's plonk, for the knees-up over there". "This was particularly apparent" added the Tugger "When I got near Kilmore on the way down and also on the way back and the cloud was on the ground .... in fact about 300 ft below the tops of the hills and there were thunder heads all about the joint." "I woulda gone" said 2cents "You are a woose .... an so is ahlocks, as I get surgery on my nether region sometimes just for fun on a Saturday arvo .... & without an anaesthetic." " It was harder to get down to YAVE yesterday than it is to navigate your way around AeroClub politics" said Le Crapp. "I know how to fix that" said ExtractedPete, who whistled out of the tooth hole, spat as he said "ffixth" and dribbled out of that side of his mouth until the needle wore off. "Mate, you are an attractivePete, in that semi-helpless state" said Nanna "And I'll try to think of something AVIATION and FLYING that has a suitable double-entendre, such as ............. The crook tooth of BigPete will be encased in Nanna's locket, & next will be his root canal Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLA82 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 Talking about extraction I see in another thread that Biggles is at it again and needs to extract his Cheetah from the ground. When will he learn that the cheetah is good but not good enough to land itself. :idea:He said he was sleeping behind the controls but really I think he was knocked out by the exhaust fumes from the fuel he extracted from the tractor:loopy: Oh well back to the drawing board he mentioned he wanted to install flaps maybe a set of trainer wheels might me more suitable.. Hang on what about a set of......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahlocks Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 McLock nodded as he understood that the sagely one was exercising due prudence with regard to the weather. "Not gunna stop me from ribbin' yuh though!" :devil: he chuckled. ============= The Krapper is cheating and adding edits while Lovak is spaced out in the garden P.S Looks like RussDot, the new sheeta driver @ WGA, has a sense of humour that would fit right in here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahlocks Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 ....I see in another thread that Biggles is at it again and needs to extract his Cheetah from the ground........ "Strewth and stuff a dead horse! I bloke can't win a trick around here" moaned Bingles. :black_eye: "First Slarters zots me from NES for makin' up yarns about me flying skills and then when I get caught for real, trying to do a cheeta plough furrow landing, I gets zoted from A&I as well!" "Now, now, young fella," consoled Nanna :heart:, "They're trying to exorcise me too :broken_heart:, but we're both larger than life :thumb_up: and more persistant than peridontal pain on an airshow weekend....Don't s'pose you saw where that cute bugga with the fat lip and lisp went....? =================== The bingles may end up (6ft) under thumb_down the aunt's garden if he's not more careful.:raise_eyebrow: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLA82 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 The bingles may end up (6ft) under thumb_down the aunt's garden if he's not more careful.:raise_eyebrow:[/color] Thats correct and hopefully not anyone else aswell. Aunt's garden is growning nicely and doesn't need a dose of biggles and bone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahlocks Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 "Biggles and bone" macabre, but funny. :thumb_up: Gotta give him credit though. When he stirs the pot with his antics, there is some damn good information generated in the follow on replies. (Plus he's great inspiration for NES sillyness when bawdy is off the menu) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLA82 Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 " Gotta give him credit though. When he stirs the pot with his antics, there is some damn good information generated in the follow on replies. (Plus he's great inspiration for NES sillyness when bawdy is off the menu) too true:thumb_up: but just as we speak a rumble is heard, It's Biggles he has removed the front nosewheel of his cheetah and tied on a old wheelbarrow with a few bounces his off but suddenly the barrow breaks loose and flies through...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest palexxxx Posted March 13, 2009 Share Posted March 13, 2009 tied on a old wheelbarrow with a few bounces his off but suddenly the barrow breaks loose and flies through...... .....the air with the greatest of ease. The wheelbarrow loops the loop, does elegant banked turns, flies straight and holding altitude until it comes in and lands perfectly on Crappy's aunts backyard........unlike 2centsworth who......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hihosland Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 .....upon earthly arrival executed a sharp exit to the right. ( anything to avoid being put in the group class as those left leaning J class plastic devices) Then clambering from out the dust storm so created exclaimed "It's not my fault. The (don't tell Pete ) damned .......... " Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 "Biggles and bone" macabre, but funny. :thumb_up: "Now listen you blokes" said Le Crapp "BigPete said that he wants no more smut, so drop the discussion about "bones", stop giving poor misunderstood TwoCents a serve and get back to the business at hand (oops, shouldn't have mentioned "hand" either)". " I know what you mean Skipper" said the Ahlovach "Everything aviation that I mention has sexual connotations ..... such as "stick", "rudder", "vertical stabilizer" "back seat", "ignition", "exhaust pipe" etc" "Me too Vaccy. PasterPete is gunna get us for sure. If only we had a ............... Ahlock's nether region is being rubbed better by my Aunt in the garden (behind a modesty screen). "Oh ...." I heard her say "That is a good sign, so you aren't totally unwell are you McVach?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahlocks Posted March 14, 2009 Share Posted March 14, 2009 "... If only we had a ............... .."a portrait of Queen Victoria to remind these grotty colonials of the old and proper ways" "stiff (oops! ) upper lip and all that spiffing stuff?" nodded McLovak (who had thought of dozens of ther examples but had to refrain in the interest of political correctness) "You lot won't be able to keep this up for long" :devil::heart: taunted Nanna i_dunno "Or that either for that matter...":broken_heart: "Strewth! wadaya mean I can't keep it up Nanna?" Whined Twobob, "Just cause dental floss can't hold a wheel barrow on at 7gs.... ZOT!............:raise_eyebrow: Oh,Oh. Admin MKII found him.... ================ The aunt in the garden is mistaken, for McLock has lost all interest in that part of the anatomy at present. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted March 15, 2009 Share Posted March 15, 2009 The aunt in the garden is mistaken, for McLock has lost all interest in that part of the anatomy at present. NES NEWSFLASH .... NES NEWSFLASH "The Ahlovach has lost interest in "that" part of his anatomy, so I ask that all NES contributors to please be sympathetic" instructed Admin. "I will show due respect, so if you are unfortunate enough that this continues for a week or more, will poor Ahlocks please PM me a photo of Mrs McLock and her mobile number, but don't worry about your street address as I already have that." said Le Crapp "Just tell her that Shervo is on the way, and she'll know what you mean". "And do you want me to fly your plane for you too?" Tugger added "As they both need to be run every 2 - 3 weeks to prevent internal corrosion". "You are a solid mate" said Ahlocks. "No worries" replied Le Crapp "Anything for an NES friend who's nether region is out of action." "If only you could also ................. The pen of the Ahlocks is not being used in the garden, not even after my Aunt did those special things that he usually likes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahlocks Posted March 16, 2009 Share Posted March 16, 2009 "If only you could also ................. "... explain to blunutz that he shouldn't get so worked up over such little things" (:ah_oh::confused:) pleaded Mrs Ahlox. "He gets his knickers in such a twist as to why simple questions end up being a such a competition for some folk" . "Glide it in or power it in...Either way works for me! :heart::heart:" Quipped nana ;):devil: in an effort to sway the conversation from things aviation. :ah_oh: "Thank you for your kind offer Herr Krapitan :thumb_up:" replied LovaK, who had been distracted :raise_eyebrow: by a silver whiskered bloke that was sitting out the front of the house on a flash new motorcycle:star: and muttering something about some sports person. :confused::yuk: "But Mrs AhLox and I attended the airfield Sunday evening and gently caressed the dust from the Czech Mistress :heart: and imbibed her with drink. To which she (the czech mistress that is) responded with a flight overhead the western 'burbs and maison de la Krappee . (who's new toy was no where to be seen ) "So there shouldn't be a problem with internal corrosion with the mistress. Perhaps TurboSan will return from the orient with some exotic (yes, exotic not erotic..see! I'm really trying to behave Pete ) balm to prevent corrosion elsewhere..." ================ The non de plume of Le Crappee and his pirate ways makes absolute sense after talking to one of Le Crappe's hangar mates today. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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