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The Never Ending Story


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As Jerry Lee Lewis would say "Follow THAT"

 

Who else could follow our Biggles through the thick and thin that he stirs with so much enthusiasm other than the Hon. Algeron Lacey accompanied by the ever youthful Ginger ( he of the house of Hebblethwaite)

 

with those two on side a cheetah whatever the damage would be back on line come sun up.

 

 

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So to get a story flow.....

If a Cheetah can be repaired by 3 people in an afternoon, then crashed again by one person in about 10 minutes...... what do you call that idiot, and why was he sighted in Avalon next day at the pilots presentation waving a VB and talking about the art of crashing while listening to country music...........

 

And if anyone thinks it has any connection to a loose screw/aunt, they get their house crached into :P

 

As Jerry Lee Lewis would say "Follow THAT"

Turbo had woken slowly, shut the blinds and reached for his first cup of coffee - he'd been up until 8.30 last night watching Benny Hill videos, but it was Sunday and he could take things easy.

 

He'd long since given up buying a Sunday Newspaper after he found the Murdoch Press was just a shadow of the depth and breadth of www.recreationalflying.com with it's undending sagas of excitement, humour, shock, depravity (Sorray Kapitano), scandal, innuendo, geography, war, romance, and insights generally into the animal world, and all in one package.

 

However, this Sunday he'd woken up to the explosive prose of the man himself - a person who'd taken the name of that great aviator Biggles (who nevertheless flew in a bi and had a gay time) and put some worth into it.

 

He thought "When you try to read what BigW writes, you can understand the difficulty Howard Carter faced when he broke into Tutankhamen's tomb and tried to sort the love letters from the laundry tickets"

 

So, after the sixth cup of coffe he set about making some sense of the above BigW (some say he is an alien) statement, and came to this conclusion.

 

"The first sentence is easy" he thought - he's 3/10 full of....

 

"and the next part seems to fit - VB....

 

" and listening to Country Music - although an educated man...

 

"related top loose scrte/aunt - connected to Aklovaks...

 

"they get their house crached into - obviously an alien term, but we'll have a guess....

 

"P - Ho Ho, takes off from the verandah...

 

We'll leave the Jerry Lee Lewis quote because it apears to relate to his marriage to a 13 year old.

 

So Turbo translated the statement like this:

 

Bingles, while 3/10 full of VB (.03 for his friends in uniform, who seem to know exactly where he is travelling), although an educated man had been consorting with Aklovaks (probably to find out how to add coffee cup holders to the Cheetah or get directions to YSWG (Australia Sydney Wagga Wagga)and they had turned a house into a creche for Hi Ho....

 

 

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What a week - went with my daughter, son in law, and three grand children to Surfers for a holiday. :thumb_up:

 

Went up with Virgin :broken_heart: (Quantas doesn't do direct to 051_crying.gif.edc6b33a234e272ee13f0ec0ae40b12a.gif) had to pay for everything (including $4.90 for the small screen TV) 068_angry.gif.e6e3bad802304927655e1c48b61088cd.gif

 

Landed at Coolangatta (undergoing massive redevelopment), caught the bus and arrived at Paradise Resort.

 

Not a bad spot, lots of things for the grandkids to do. Did three parks in three days, Movie World, (not bad, kids loved it), Dream World (yea, OK I s'pose), and Sea World (Bloody brilliant).

 

Geez it so GREEN up there, grass and palm trees everywhere. 051_crying.gif.edc6b33a234e272ee13f0ec0ae40b12a.gif:crying:051_crying.gif.edc6b33a234e272ee13f0ec0ae40b12a.gif

 

Now - on to my biggest gripe for the whole trip. 088_censored.gif.03b4fab6f26a58d5cdf75ba85c450225.gif water. It didn't matter where you went - if you needed a drink of water - you had to buy it. At $4.00 (or more) a 600ml bottle - no drinking fountains anywhere. We carried a fair bit, but we were doing a lot of walking and it was quite warm (and humid).

 

I recon we spent (seven of us) well over $140.00 just for bottled water over the week. $140 088_censored.gif.03b4fab6f26a58d5cdf75ba85c450225.gif dollars.

 

Anyway, had a great time, totally buggered and still not home yet (in Melbourne for grandaughters birthaday).

 

Went to Australia Zoo on Thursday and drove straight past Caboolture strip and up into the Glasshouse mountains (3 hour bus trip :black_eye:). Very clean and neat zoo grounds, with lots of crocs (and expensive water again!). Well, it was OK - I think there is a big hole without Steve Irwin though - pity.

 

Home via Virgin again. Hilight of the trip was flying over Kyabram, (with Echuca just visable) at 31000 feet.

 

regards

 

:big_grin::big_grin:

 

 

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The bus driver told us that over 1100 people a week move to QLD. By 2040 they expect to be bigger (population wise) than Victoria. (currently around 9 million).

 

regards

 

:big_grin::big_grin:

 

 

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Geez Pete, they made you pay to drink the croc's water too! There's no end to how Queenslanders relieve us Southerners of our money!

Crikey! Water at $4 a bottle sounds a bit rich:crying:, but its like buying oats.

 

If you want good clean oats you have to pay a good price, however, oats that have already passed through the horse come a bit cheaper;););)

 

Good to know you had a good trip Pete, probably arrived home proudly wearing a crocodile hat from the zoo, and carrying rubber crocodiles and Bindy dolls (made in China) for grandaughter.

 

Regards

 

Planey

 

 

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I must admit Planey, after wandering around the OZ Zoo listening to (non-stop) Bindi recordings and seeing all the Bindi merchandise and Bindi posters - I'm all Bindied out.

 

regards

 

:big_grin::big_grin:

 

 

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...if one looks back to earlier days of the NES, the story flowed and made a made a lot more sense, as well as being fun for so many more. Good on the guys for trying to keep it going, but I feel the interest in this section could be declining a bit? and I for one, would love love to see it change for the better, which should'nt be hard.

Reminded of the scene in Good Morning Vietnam where 'Lt Steve' took over the radio program i_dunno, Lovak waited patiently for the chuckle fest to begin...071_yawn.gif.ed9fe9d0060bea1ba30edf7c498c2aed.gif 040_nerd.gif.818f42a429bd433d10428d88b6b4d49f.gif

 

============

 

Thank <deity of choice> for Bingles for adding some new material! :thumb_up:

 

P.S. Saw a flash Cheetah yesterday...could have looked even flasher with a splash of green. ;)

 

 

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P.S. Saw a flash Cheetah yesterday...could have looked even flasher with a splash of green. ;)

Do you really mean that a Cheetah could be improved by gaining a couple of grass burns from a frolic ( with ginger?) in the garden ??

 

 

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:ah_oh: Best not interrupt the flow....036_faint.gif.b6fdbf92c760c47b56da9b625fc7db92.gif

No; better not since the urologists have all gone a making of the music in the hills for easter

 

and

 

if our Locky is to be believed

 

JA somehow has got her bun all hot and crossed. Quite possibly as a result of imbibing of too much of bindi's expensive bottled water.

 

Meanwhile back at teh flow house .....

 

 

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Hey, (horses eat it.....) Bligegs-wroth just wonders why HTML (and spell-cheque) is turned off, and decides to use it anyway, and whoever is reading it can go out and learn HTML so they can follow it.....Its not like I would try to sneak in a few lines of java..... I know a really fun short line which makes all the images go flying all over the page... really weird, but fun.

 

We paid $4 a bottle (600ml) for water at avalon, but I was later told that the bundy and coke at the pilots bar was cheaper because someone didn't realise that the price for that is about $7 miniumum. But I missed out :( I just stuck to free beer.....

 

No, I just wanted to be able to cross things out. Harmless enough? or am I still on the wanted list for using HTML to display inappropriate pictures.....

 

Anyway, Turbo, I've thrown out a few pieces of <strike>fan</strike>hate mail and you can now send to your hearts content, until I get some more messages from someone with an avatar that looks like Taylor swift and I delete your message to make way for that.

 

Can't think of anything fun to say tonight.... must be working too hard. See, the sooner this job is done, the sooner I get to go HOME to my darling Cheetah (green with a splash of grey) And tell her all my troubles. And she can say "you aint seen nothing yet", and shut down her Jabiru motor.

 

After all I do for that plane, and what she has done to me........

 

Maybe I'll pin a Jabiru brochure to the prop....... But she might consider suicide then. So would I if I was going to buy one of them....... (sorry fellas, they are perfectly good planes in the way that <strike>high-undies</strike>Hyundais are perfectly good cars)

 

<Chopper Reed style> This is Capitain, he flies a Jabiru. HARDEN UP, CAPITAIN </Chopper Reed style> (google it)

 

Now we get flame wars?

 

"I can haz Flaim worz?"

 

 

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..it had been decided to introduce some new ideas, the first bieng Plano's Whine House....

006_laugh.gif.d4257c62d3c07cda468378b239946970.gif:laugh:006_laugh.gif.d4257c62d3c07cda468378b239946970.gif

 

Assuming a deliberate spelling mistake or two in the above line. Not that there's too much wrong with that. "Happy hour" will be from 5-6pm daily to maintain a good flow, followed by Turbo Tech Talk on how to play with your own blow-off valve without having to adjust the timer.:hittinghead:

 

 

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Now - on to my biggest gripe for the whole trip. 088_censored.gif.03b4fab6f26a58d5cdf75ba85c450225.gif water. It didn't matter where you went - if you needed a drink of water - you had to buy it. At $4.00 (or more) a 600ml bottle - no drinking fountains anywhere. We carried a fair bit, but we were doing a lot of walking and it was quite warm (and humid).

I recon we spent (seven of us) well over $140.00 just for bottled water over the week. $140 088_censored.gif.03b4fab6f26a58d5cdf75ba85c450225.gif dollars.

............ so in deference to Planey's request that we go back to the olden days of the NES ...... Julie Anthony rose from her walking frame and sallied forth with a rendition of "The Hills are alive with the sound of water being bottled".

 

"Hang on there, you-all" said Steve's missus "We'll make more if Bindi sings that ..... let's rename this stuff "Bindi Water" and we'll make the bottles in the shape of a croc or a ray"

 

"Anything associted with a cute obnoxious little tacker will make you a fortune and get you whatever you want" was the advice from a marketing consultant.

 

"My name is Bindi" came a voice from the Riverland "And so is my daughter .... and my granddaughter too.

 

"Don't you know any other names" asked Planey (who is ever the critic).

 

"My son is called (3 corner) Jack" she replied "But I've only got one eye" said the senior Bindi-Eye (tee hee) with her teeth back in.

 

"And wee will .........................

 

The cute and cuddly water sales script is in the garden where Bindi is reading with my Aunt

 

 

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"Don't you know any other names" asked Planey (who is ever the critic).

 

 

 

"My son is called (3 corner) Jack" she replied "But I've only got one eye" said the senior Bindi-Eye (tee hee) with her teeth back in.

 

 

 

"And wee will .........................

 

“…take Planey down to the local common and introduce him to our Cousin Bindii Patch. That should get him focused, and happy to just put forward positive contributions,” she said.

 

Now the way life works, people get curious when they hear negative vibes, and Bindi began to turn the pages of NES back to the good old days, and being a TV producer, thought she might be able to make a sitcom using the material.

 

She began to compile the material

 

·He rang his next door neighbour, Tony Tecnam, who said, ".... [Hmmmm…]

 

·Joe went to the other side and looked out - sure enough the strip was there, he swore to himself never to mix his beers again. [Hmmmm…

 

·in case you hadn't noticed, poor Slarti is dangling from a rope under a pilotless Thruster in flight !!! [starti has gone on to much more exciting things than that]

 

·the deluxe model that came out with a personel parashute [This one from musicman apparently relates to getting rid of your boss by giving him a joyflight, then another joyflight]

 

·he quickly fashioned a make shift hang glider out of the masses of second hand Chzechoslovakian newspaper floating past him that used to be an integeral part of his planes structure. [the early days even included documentaries]

 

·"Bronwyn Bishop, what are you doing here. I mean, it's only Monday and you don't normally appear in my dreams until Thursday" cried Slarti. [beauty was in the eye of the beholder – they were focused then]

 

·"Whoa thar Bronwyn Bitch" (nee Bishop) said Dirty Dick [Finally they broke all restraint and let out their innermost feelings. After this one, Admin issued a warning to keep it clean. And who was the writer? None other than the Sermon on the River]

 

·..Bronwyn bishop is incredibly unatractive, even in bondage and dicipline leathers.. [Admin couldn’t control them]

 

·Briiiing when his phone...[worthy of Wilbur Smith]

 

·Is that X-rating eating Hot X buns in Ian's tent at Natfly? [A warning to this year’s attendees – the buns are at least two years old – no wonder he gives them away]

 

·rumor has it that cuold be petunia partly nei [Could it be this that Planey is pining for?]

 

·"Now who the hell is going to clean up all this Sh*t." exclaimed his wife [Just guess who wrote this]

 

·The poor girl now had long-term worries, and suggested that it may have been better to have bought sausages instead, so they could save the skins. Whilst not feeling 100% confident about there reliability, they may be better than a weary dunlop,but $79.95 a go was out of the question.

 

If only I had saved that knicker elastic that was probably still attached to Bigpete's fishing lure, we may have been able to have it recycled at Dick Johnsons Rubberworks down the road, into a product may have saved me from the prickydickament I now find myself in. [This one from critic Planey himself]

 

·Guys, we are pushing the boundaries of being crude - let's get back to "funny" rather then "crudity" [The quick response from Admin]

 

Bindi paused and thought “How could you make a TV Series out of that? They never had any fun at all. Even Captain had to resort to giving trip reports about a motor bike ride from the top paddock to the turn off.

 

No, she thought, it can’t be used, they all say they want to go back to the old days, but old days are just that – drop toilets swarming with flies, asbestos walls, water from taps, and worst of all football or boxing instead of Flightsim 2030. Planey would just have to settle down and contribute something contemporary, or …..

 

 

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“…take Planey down to the local common and introduce him to our Cousin Bindii Patch. That should get him focused, and happy to just put forward positive contributions,” she said.

 

In more deference to Planey and the good-old-days, where the grass was always greener, the beer was always colder, and there were still water allocations to be wasted ............................... Just then an early prototype of one of the very earliest of Drifters, known by a Mk1 Floater, zoomed into the paddock at a Vne of 22 knots and out jumped Raymond Burr's son.

 

"You are a fine looking lad (not that there as anything wrong with that)" said a sprightly young Planey "What's your name?"

 

"Bathurst" he replied.

 

"Don't worry about him" said a gorgeous young woman who couldn't get enough of the Planedriver "Let's get it on, and I'll take my teeth out if you like."

 

"Hang on. Your not .................?

 

 

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Captain did say "Let's get it on, and I'll take my teeth out if you like."

 

Oh Captain

 

my captain

 

how could you tempt the censorials within

 

with a line like that

 

may your Jab go to flab

 

and your Schleicher flit off to someone nicer

 

who is probably not the son of Burr

 

he being no more than a media blur .

 

 

 

For you sins you are hence forth to be banished back to your very first post in the NES back to the time of propriorty , piety and all things aeronautical, before the moral judgement axe did fall when you did post in a spirit of true aviation terminology

 

 

 

which just proves that a female form wearing a whispy cotton nighty with the moon behind it, will cause .....

 

 

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Captain did say "Let's get it on, and I'll take my teeth out if you like."Oh Captain

 

my captain

 

how could you tempt the censorials within

 

with a line like that

 

may your Jab go to flab

 

and your Schleicher flit off to someone nicer

 

who is probably not the son of Burr

 

he being no more than a media blur .

 

 

 

For you sins you are hence forth to be banished back to your very first post in the NES back to the time of propriorty , piety and all things aeronautical, before the moral judgement axe did fall when you did post in a spirit of true aviation terminology

 

 

 

which just proves that a female form wearing a whispy cotton nighty with the moon behind it, will cause .....

So HiHo lands a low blow,

 

By quoting the Skipper's old lines,

 

When his literary brill shines,

 

But Planey's not happy?

 

So let's make it snappy,

 

To go back to the old ways,

 

Of fabric and wire stays,

 

Of aviatorial writing,

 

That flows and's exciting,

 

With lots of matters aviation,

 

Of Tony Tecnam, Dave the Drifter Dipstick, Julian the Jabiru Jockey (not that there is anything wrong with that), Schlava the SportStar Driver, Rene the Xair Aviator (or trix) ..... and the lot.

 

But will Planey eventually be happy?

 

Methinks not a jot.

 

The Cappo needs a lot of rhyming practice out there in the garden with his pen

 

 

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