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9 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

The more Cappy smiled, the more ................

......... he looked like a sleek Blackbird (avref) .............. well, a manky old Crow, anyway.

 

 

ALL NESERS SHOULD NOTE THAT ONETRACK AND TURBO BOTH JUST ARRIVED AT THE SAME TIME. (MUST HAVE BEEN WATCHING THE SAME VIDEO).

Edited by Captain
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"......Turbo tries to rustle cattle." He may be the KE champion of the world, and the warm up act for Reno next year when he's going to KE the whole circuit, but I cam head them off if he tries anythi

......Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann, with Salty playing Elizabeth Swann.   The budget for the film was $140 million, and $60 million of that was spent in attempting to remodel Salty'sc oar

Waste extraction tube had shrunk and my voice was turning like Micheal jackson, when all of a sudden the jab below me  started making very concerning noises and pieces flew [avref] in all directions [

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as he swooped [avref] down just above Cappys head ,Cappy was stunned to see the machine that bull had just brought on marketplace as had just taxied straight into a ..............

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(Dear NES'ers - It has been noted that Onetrack and Turbo both landed on the same runway at the same time, but as Onetrack hit the asphalt first, the lack of navigational care, as regards keeping a proper lookout before lobbing onto the NES asphalt, is a charge now entirely in Turbo's court.....)

 

Turbinia took one look at bulls new ride and said, "No thanks, flyboy - I only ride in black and red cars and 'planes (and readers need to note, that the Model T only came in black, and the B-58 Hustler only came in silver) - so you can stick that big jet thingy. Besides, it will probably be really rough to ride in, and those bombs and that 20mm cannon look frightening!"

 

"Ahhh, I could probably arrange to change the colour!", said bull, pretty miffed that a pretty girl would reject a ride in his new toy.

He didn't mention he only had enough money left for fuel for one circuit of the airstrip. That might affect his standing with Turbinia, if she found out.

 

"No, thank you!", said Turbinia with a pout. "I've found Cappy has a cute red Drifter, and it looks like a lot more fun than that monstrous thing you've got! - and Cappy has offered me a ride that will......

 

Edited by onetrack
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forever be remembered as the night of infamy for Cappys performance was well below par and Turbinia beat the shit out him and left,followed quickly by bull with full flap and high nose angel on the old 58 he..............

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14 hours ago, bull said:

forever be remembered as the night of infamy for Cappys performance was well below par and Turbinia beat the shit out him and left,followed quickly by bull with full flap and high nose angel on the old 58 he..............

.......... won her heart, and other bits, with his well known bull brand of derring-do in the 58.

 

"Only 11 to go" said Turbinia with a wicked gleam in her eye (just like her dear old dad gets when he ...........

 

AN EXCLUSIVE PHOTO OF THE NOSE ANGEL AS

REFERRED TO IN bULL'S ABOVE POST.

Image result for THE NOSE ANGEL

Edited by Captain
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thinks about being a derring do f16 driver] Now these dastardly NESers will pay,oh how they will pay she was heard muttering

as she wandered over to the...............

Edited by bull
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....front bar to see who else might show her his stuff. But the bar was packed full of wannabe's, has-beens, and other assorted scruffy drunks, and nearly bald old men, all of whom Turbinia saw no future potential in for a ride, or maybe something else even more rewarding, like a big flash house with a huge swimming pool, by the ocean.

 

So she walked around to the bistro, and promptly spotted .......

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2 hours ago, onetrack said:

So she walked around to the bistro, and promptly spotted ......

........ Salty's suntanned frame, huge biceps, blue eyes, perfect luscious lips and the bulge in his pants .......... where his wallet was located.

 

In particular she noted how he occasionally fell off his bar stool as he slipped off his wallet.

 

"He'll do me" thought Turbinia "And who cares if my new darling, Brine, is not a conversationalist and only appears in the NES every now and then like a seagull after a chip, I reckon that I can mold .............

Edited by Captain
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Dear NESers. 

 

I had a rather distressing call from Moderator 14 a little while ago to deliver a message from Eeeeeean, who is concerned that the NES is moving quite some distance away from its original intentions of recording lots of mentions of Turbo.

 

As you will all recall, the NES was originally established as a mechanism to consistently record stories about the legendary Turbo and Turbine Industries, and this was going great with mentions of his thousands of exploits.

 

However Turbo has been very quiet of late, mainly because the NES is now about bull and onesie et al, plus Turbinia is now in a lead roll ...... and Turbo never really got on that well with her over the decades since she was born.

 

Eeeeean's main concern, reinforced strongly by Moderator 14 (who has always been a bit of a crawler to Admin) is that whenever he is a bit disillusioned Turbo has a tendency (NTTIAWWT) to duck down-market to P-Date and vent his spleen.

 

So please, if you can, and if you feel so inclined, make up something about Tink and hopefully he will return to our fold.

 

Kind regards Ratty

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Turbo is pleased to advise NESRs that he is more than happy with the flow of jerky prose mixed with pathos being dished out to the thousands of Readers. Turbo had simply been busy re-covering the wings on his latest snap up - an old Drifter built to the 710 MTOW. He fitted......

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27 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Turbo is pleased to advise NESRs that he is more than happy with the flow of jerky prose mixed with pathos being dished out to the thousands of Readers. Turbo had simply been busy re-covering the wings on his latest snap up - an old Drifter built to the 710 MTOW. He fitted......

....... 2 Evinrude power heads that were left over from the NES of 12 years ago and that gave him .......

Edited by Captain
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..... not only more power, but it also enabled him to fit floats, plus tiller steering, which Turbo found a refreshing change from the normal cockpit layout.

 

Besides, Turbo was basically an old salt, having cut his teeth on big sailboats, when they ruled over power boats. 

 

"This thing will never get off the water, you've set it up like a boat!", said Ratty. "The sails for wing coverings are the biggest giveaway, but when I saw you........

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.......fitting the anchor, I wet myself and had to go out and buy some new clothes."

Turbo just ignored him, started up the engines, taxyed to the calm water, and witn one had on the tillr, gave it full throttle.

On the pier that day the monthlys farmer's market was in full swing, and ..............

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2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......fitting the anchor, I wet myself and had to go out and buy some new clothes."

Turbo just ignored him, started up the engines, taxyed to the calm water, and witn one had on the tillr, gave it full throttle.

On the pier that day the monthlys farmer's market was in full swing, and ..............

..... this was a fair dinkum Farmer's Market where they had banned the $1 sh1tshops and had stalls which sold the deformed yet yummy vegies that Woolies reject, some dude selling home made gellato & lavender soap with lump in it, which is sometimes hard to tell the difference, some craft made sugar coated almonds, and all catered for by 20 CWA ladies using the biggest urn in the southern hemisphere.

 

As Turdy accelerated, a giant rooster-tail formed behind the aircraft (avref), everyone on the pier looked up, the engines gave that typical Evinrude hesitation & wheeze caused by 6 old & tired whiskered plugs, and the crowd .......

Edited by Captain
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.....as there was a bang from No3 on engine1 and a burp from engine 2, then the two engines settled into that snarl which could last all day or until the first wakeboarder fell off, and the aircraft charged upwards like a homesick angel [GAref] .The crowd cheered and Planey accidently licked a pipece of lavender soap. Cappy went back to the market and bought himself a set of Dean Martin CDs, and a wire back scratcher for $15,  and sat down to a lunch of spring onion and sour sauce in a baked potato and a  Soy latte, and who should come walking along but............

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........ the CD9000 himself, laughing and counting a substantial wad of cash.

 

"Some clown has just bought my CD's entitled "Hooked on Deano", which I have been trying to flog for the last 15 months, so now I can call myself CD8999".

 

"i though your forum name was ct9000, after that aircraft that is made in europe?" commented bull quizzically.

 

"Yes" responded CD8999 "But now that my CDs have started to sell, I was thinking of upgrading to a J230, however looking at the performance of the Turbine Industries new EvinDrifter 6000, I might go that way."

 

While, dear Reader, bull & the CD were chatting, Tink was still strugging to get airborne (important avref) as the Evindrifter had hit 150 knots but was being hindered by the weight of the pilot (avref), the 2 Evinrude 3 litre powerheads, the scantily clad hostie, the 1st class upper deck lounge (Tubb never travels any other way) and the incredible .....

Edited by Captain
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.......TurbineBlaster sound system produced by Turbine HiFi which usually required a 4WD to carry the heavy duty woofers, tweeters and titters.

He was three miles off the coast and the EvinDrifters floats were still underwater, so he reluctantly turned for home but a big fin broke the surface ahead, and using it as a ..................................................

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... the kick up thing on the front of one of those Jump-Up aircraft (avref) carriers, Turbo (thru his skill, pluck & determination) was able to get into the air (avref) with a high nose angel (refer photo several posts ago).

 

The Evinrude power heads growled, the crowd gasped, Turbo produced his best Kingsford Smith grin, the CD8999 reconsidered his options and bull ........

 

THE SHARK'S (SHARKREF) FIN HAD THE SAME EFFECT AS THIS.

Image result for jump up aircraft carrer

 

 

The very fin that did it for Turbo, note the evidence of

impact (avref) damage, on which the RSPCS are taking their legal action.

Image result for bENT SHARK'S FIN

 

The TurbineBlaster from Turbine HiFi. (Thru which the The Skipper has

recently played his new Dean Martin CD). You can see the issues that

this added to the EvinDrifter 6000 and can get some idea of Turbo's

undoubted skills as an aviatrix.

Image result for huge concert speakers

Edited by Captain
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.......after being told it was a bull shark that got the aircraft into the air.

 

Turbo was able to lower the nose a few degrees, the speed picked up, and all looked well when he noticed a Ferris wheel ahead, and .......

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...at that point, he decided to do a quick outlanding, and go for a Ferris Wheel ride - as he hadn't been on one since he was 8 yrs old, and could still remember the pleasure he got from it, back then.

 

Besides, riding on the Ferris Wheel would give him the ability to scout out the surroundings, to regain his bearings - because he was actually, completely lost.

 

It didn't help that his Ipad battery was flat, and he no longer carried paper charts, deeming them, "so 19th century", much to the chagrin of Ratty, who still carried every paper chart he'd ever picked up, in a fine leather bag.

 

The fact that Rattys leather bag weighed 23 kgs due to the weight of all the charts, and the same bag being a major factor in the poor performance of every aircraft Ratty hopped into, was completely lost on Ratty. He deemed them indispensable, and wouldn't be seen dead without that bag.

 

Meanwhile, Turbo had reached the top of the Ferris Wheel, and had pulled out his 10x50 Tasco's to see if he could spot any identifying, outstanding, nearby features - such as a large mountain.

 

But alas, the countryside around the Ferris wheel was as flat as a boardroom table, and there wasn't an identifying geological feature to be seen.

 

The Ferris Wheel moved forward, and Turbo sighed - it was time to put the Tasco's away, and ask someone......

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10 hours ago, onetrack said:

it was time to put the Tasco's away, and ask someone......

     about the orientation of the water to the east and the land to the west. "So which way is west" Turbo asked onetrack and then just so that Turbo could be fully informed (and for the elimination of doubt) "And which way is up (avref)?"

 

Onesie thought for a while and a couple of coffees later said "Up is when you have to push against that gravity bullsh1t .... and west is over the water, until you get to Rotty".

 

"No" interjected bull, who remembered the drum from his time as the mayor of Bone "The water is on the east."

 

"Never" said the uniroot "Don't be a dick, the water is always in the west and I cannot ever accept any different proposition (or even adjective). The only water in the east is the water supply at Kalgoorlie and that's too small for the EvinDrifter 6000 to land (avref) on."

 

"You are all talking thru your hats" interjected Salty "The only water is a long skinny bit that goes roughly east-west and sometimes runs dry."

 

"WHAT?" said onetrack, bull and Tubby in unison?

 

"This all makes no sense and I don't accept any of that" was Turbo's comeback "As a Mextorian I can assure you that the water is always in the south and and the land is in the north."

 

"This NES discussion is getting out of hand" said Eeeeeeean (another Mextorian) "And might confuse young Forum members who, if they listen to these very experienced aviators and aviatrixes (NTTIAWWT), won't know which way to go (except "up" as per onesie's excellent explanation), so I will ........

 

PS ........ Nobu thinks the water is in every possible dilection, when he is at home frying his Jabilu in Japan.

 

FOR NEW FORUM MEMBERS AND FOR STUDENT PILOTS ......

........... PLUS IN ORDER TO LIMIT LIABILITY FROM THIS POST,

BELOW IS AN OFFICIAL AUF PHOTO. THIS IS "WATER".

image.jpeg.24010ba89ca9d7bec9c9076090ebc658.jpeg

 

 

Edited by Captain
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now post on here that there is a thing called a compass and the big W is for WEST and the big E is for EAST also that big S is for the south [for the mexitorians] and that big N thingy is for NORTH .  Now i know this will be totally confusing for Tinc and Bull and onesie and Turdo,,,so this water argument holds NO water at all said EEannnn,the answer  you numbnuts is Australia is an ISLAND so no mater which direction on the compass you go, so long as you stay in a straight line [and have a VERY GOOD RANGE]  YOU will come to water  ok   .  [fact check that one !!!]

Edited by bull
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17 hours ago, bull said:

now post on here that there is a thing called a compass and the big W is for WEST and the big E is for EAST also that big S is for the south [for the mexitorians] and that big N thingy is for NORTH .  Now i know this will be totally confusing for Tinc and Bull and onesie and Turdo,,,so this water argument holds NO water at all said EEannnn,the answer  you numbnuts is Australia is an ISLAND so no mater which direction on the compass you go, so long as you stay in a straight line [and have a VERY GOOD RANGE]  YOU will come to water  ok   .  [fact check that one !!!]

"That can't possibly be correct, bull, my good friend" said Planey "As if that was the case, life rafts would always be compulsory, we'd all be wearing life jackets with those gas bottles that you can use to make fizzy drinks out of, every Drifter would be fitted with floats and the Human Fuctors course would include breast stroking instructions."

 

"Good point Planey" said bull "I'll check my own facts and get ..........

Edited by Captain
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"Not if you fly around the beach" said Turbo, knowing he was on a winner because he had done it several times and never got lost, just never found the turnoff to Alice Springs.

The others all nodded; who could disagree with this.

Turbo went on: I've done a lot of research on the compass, and it's hopeless for navigation. In my experiments, when you turn off the track, so does it, so how can it get you back. Not only that but the faster you turn the faster it turns, so its more a turn speedo."

Cappy stepped in and said "Hear Hear!" and all agreed that...........................................

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