Jump to content

The Never Ending Story


Recommended Posts

......said, "You couldn't possibly handle that many wives! - even a stud like Cappy would be hard-pressed to service just half of them!"

 

"Ahhh!", said the witchdoctor. "But you haven't seen the herbs I take, that give me endless stamina! I can go all day and all night without stopping!"

 

And at that, he gave a quick demonstration of his stamina, putting on a spirited dance that....... (dear NES readers, you'll notice Cappys brother in the background, acting as MC for the dance)

 

 

 

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Replies 14.6k
  • Created
  • Last Reply

Top Posters In This Topic

  • Captain

    4996

  • turboplanner

    4404

  • ahlocks

    806

Top Posters In This Topic

Popular Posts

"......Turbo tries to rustle cattle." He may be the KE champion of the world, and the warm up act for Reno next year when he's going to KE the whole circuit, but I cam head them off if he tries anythi

......Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann, with Salty playing Elizabeth Swann.   The budget for the film was $140 million, and $60 million of that was spent in attempting to remodel Salty'sc oar

Waste extraction tube had shrunk and my voice was turning like Micheal jackson, when all of a sudden the jab below me  started making very concerning noises and pieces flew [avref] in all directions [

Posted Images

34 minutes ago, onetrack said:

And at that, he gave a quick demonstration of his stamina, putting on a spirited dance that......

.... went a long way to matching bull's Gaelic jig in his kilt, complete with high leg kicks (and flashes) that matched the Can Can ladies in Paris.

 

34 minutes ago, onetrack said:

"Ahhh!", said the witchdoctor. "But you haven't seen the herbs I take

.... and with that, Herb dived for cover and hid under the grandstand as the witchdoctor turned to the uniroute and asked "This is a surprise ramp-check (eventual avref), I am an undercover CASA nerd (avref) and do you ..........

Edited by Captain
Link to post
Share on other sites

".........have a flight plan?"

Onesie looked at the WD with legs still pumping like a pair of FC Holden shock absorbers and said; "do you?" wherupon the WD, like a Facebook troll started to sing "DUYUDUYUDUYUDUYUDUYUDUYUDUYUDUYUDUYUDUYU" in time with his flying feet.

This was too much for the normally placid onesie and he aimed a high kick at .................

  • Haha 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
10 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

".........have a flight plan?"

Onesie looked at the WD with legs still pumping like a pair of FC Holden shock absorbers and said; "do you?" wherupon the WD, like a Facebook troll started to sing "DUYUDUYUDUYUDUYUDUYUDUYUDUYUDUYUDUYUDUYU" in time with his flying feet.

This was too much for the normally placid onesie and he aimed a high kick at .................

I was there and can attest to the veracity of Turbo's recounting of Onesie's high kick, in fact, below is the picture which I took at the time, however I have photoshopped the CASA nerd out to save him/her from embarrassment.

Image result for a very high kick

 

Now .... on with Turbine's excellent thread ...............

10 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

This was too much for the normally placid onesie and he aimed a high kick at .................

 

Edited by Captain
Link to post
Share on other sites

.....................the Scottish kilt dance classes at  the blue oyster bar [still in business just sleeping] and realised that his high kick in a kilt would bring some dis.....................                                200.gif  :taz:            

Edited by bull
Link to post
Share on other sites

A search of the ownership of Wagga's famous Blue Oyster Bar reveals that it is now owned by BOB#12 Pty Ltd and a further search of that company shows an 80% shareholding by a Mr or Mrs R Lox with the other 20% controlled by a Mr or Mrs (NTTIAWWTBTW) Turd Byne.

 

Just say'n.

Link to post
Share on other sites

........comfort if the sporran broke loose and started thrashing around in the works,

Not many people know that the low scores by Scottish competitors at the Olympic Games are caused by loose sporrans.

 

It's unfortunate that Cappy had to make public the ownershop of the BoB because Loxie is a very private person, and the names he calls Mrs Loxie on Facebook every time he gets an awkward photo of her cover an admiration of her ability to run a business where three quarters of Wagga's population shows up after dark.

Loxie sits in the back office like all Nightclub bosses do in his black suit, black 1/2" tie and a cigar, a wall full of CCTV screens showing him what is going on in all parts of the facility, including out the front where Cappy's amaterish fumbling with various old boilers is added to the YouTube video "Cappy's Bloopers" which now extends to 93 minutes of laughter.

 

Loxie decided this time Cappy had gone to far and over the weekly cup of coffee, leaned over the table and said ".............

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

...... "Have you seen Turbo's latest post on the NES?"

 

"No" replied Ratty "I only read the NES for the posts by the monoroot, bull & Salty (plus that one by the CT9000). What has Turbo said this time?".

 

Ahlox looked sad, drew breath, sighed and replied "He said .......

 

Loxie's back office at the BOB (actual police surveillance image). Turbo's

description was spot on.

th?id=OIP.59Kcy8y6UOrgkGEeADptlwHaEo%26p

 

Edited by Captain
Link to post
Share on other sites

".............that you had publicly disgraced me" and a tear rolled from Loxie's eye, for this was an unforgiveable sin in Wagga Wagga wehere it was very difficult to be graced without falling off the Wagon. In fact the Biblical film "Saddam and Tomorrer" was filmed in Wagga because they were all natural actors who could say anything and be believed.

Cappy's guilty reaction sent his coffee flying all over Doctor McSwain's wife, the town gossip.

"What's this all about, and who's Bob? she asked and the two of them turned as white as sheets, and in a whisper Cappy.........

Link to post
Share on other sites

Go and shut bull up for f$%ks sake ,i,ll handle this just keep him quiet ok? No worries said loxie i,ll just..................

Link to post
Share on other sites
3 hours ago, bull said:

Go and shut bull up for f$%ks sake ,i,ll handle this just keep him quiet ok? No worries said loxie i,ll just..................

..... correct the punctuation in Mcbull's above post and then repost it so that the smooth flow of the NES can be maintained and our delightful NESers will be able to understand it", and with that he efficiently and dispassionately posted .... "Go and shut bull up, for f#%ks sake, I'll handle this, just keep him (referring to bull) quiet, OK?"

 

"No worries" said Loxie "I'll just..........

Edited by Captain
Link to post
Share on other sites

Turbo will wait to see what is going on and whether it's under a rug, because Dr McSwain's wife is well known as being a female, however, the NES uncovers a lot of the dark side.

 

Link to post
Share on other sites
4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Turbo will wait to see what is going on and whether it's under a rug, because Dr McSwain's wife is well known as being a female, however, the NES uncovers a lot of the dark side .....

 

..... of the web & these days the so-called female wife person of Dr McSwain has umpteen genders to choose from, 1 or 2 of which may even be similar to the ones favoured by Turbs, and each of which offers great possibilities to enjoy a quick ..... 

Edited by Captain
Link to post
Share on other sites

.......Latte at the Pilot's Rest Cafe, Wagga Wagga International Airport, which by the way is celebrating its 107th birthday today.

The PRC was established when the RAAF were using Longhorn Fighter Aircraft and after a session in one of them you sure needed a rest.

Some say Elsie, who looks after all the pilots today was there when it opened.

Not many people know that in WW2 Elsie was seconded to ASIO to watch for any suspicious activity, second nature to Wag Wags as we know, but in July 1943, what occurred has been only referred to in sealed files up until now. On that Tuesday morning ..................

Link to post
Share on other sites
36 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......Latte at the Pilot's Rest Cafe, Wagga Wagga International Airport, which by the way is celebrating its 107th birthday today.

The PRC was established when the RAAF were using Longhorn Fighter Aircraft and after a session in one of them you sure needed a rest.

Some say Elsie, who looks after all the pilots today was there when it opened.

Not many people know that in WW2 Elsie was seconded to ASIO to watch for any suspicious activity, second nature to Wag Wags as we know, but in July 1943, what occurred has been only referred to in sealed files up until now. On that Tuesday morning ..................

....... Elsie accidentally & absentmindedly (she was thinking dreamily about her date that night with a young and dashing trainee fighter pilot Planey) sealed a file in an envelope ..... and the rest is history.

 

That envelope was due to be ..........

 

PS - Does Turbo's reference to the PRC actually confirm his subliminal loyalty to the People's Republic? Or was it a Freudian (and perhaps Confuciusian) slip by Chairman Tiny Wink? 

 

More proof is below, if needed.

 

Image result for Comunist Tinky Winky

Edited by Captain
  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

...........posted in 1943, but still lay on the front desk of the PRC. The President of the PRC Commodore Loxette (he wasn't a Commodore, just a FI, but he figured the students wouldn't pick that up) had seen the envelope there many times, and knew it was a hot potato, and also like a minefield - able to go off in any direction becaise they all had buried secrets, none more than Loxie.

This time it was too much for the Commodore; he grabbed the envelope, went behind the screen and opened it.

They found him there on the floor 30 minutes later, but it was too late; he .....................

 

[Cappy has just taken an enormous risk. In his weak attempt at humour he appears to have missed the Eye of The Family. We hope he can survive this, but many don't]

 

Edited by turboplanner
Link to post
Share on other sites
2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

This time it was too much for the Commodore; he grabbed the envelope, went behind the screen and opened it.

They found him there on the floor 30 minutes later, but it was too late; he .....................

.... had started to become aroused because of the ..........

 

(Cappy had not missed the "eye" as from his time spent rebuilding the Chinese economy and their aviation industry, he was well aware of the strength of the Masonic Lodge throughout the PRC (Chairman Xi is actually a 2nd Lieutenant Mason who often stands on one foot and howls at the moon). In fact the chief poohbah of the Masons is an Asian bloke who started out with a simple stone quarry in North Korea and now has a world-wide string of them. His name is Wun Chi Zell otherwise known to the 5 Eyes as Hi Ta We Dge (quarryref) as that is the method they use to split their stone.)

 

Flom Wikipedia ....... and this is fair dinklum ...... The Chinese Masonic Society grew out of the Yee Hing Company (also known as the Hung League), an anti-Manchu underground network in China with chapters in North America and other key destinations of Chinese migrants. Many Chinese who originated from Zhongshan belonged to the Yee Hing and subsequently to the Chinese Masonic Society.

 

 

See the source image

 

Xi giving his secret Masonic handshake  .....and tickling her palm (NTTIAWWTBTW).

See the source image

 

More Chinese Fleemasons

See the source image

Edited by Captain
Link to post
Share on other sites

PPS ........... Wun Chi Zell's other brother One Chee Zel came up with that special mechanism for cooking cheezy circular tubular things and putting them in packets.

Edited by Captain
Link to post
Share on other sites

....scent of jasmine from the Che Zell products lining the shelves so Turbo tipped a bucket of water over him, and he came spluttering back to life. 
“Remember Harry Wackett from the WW2 days?” He left us the complete plans for a home-built recreational aircraft with a BSA Bantam motor......
 

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

....scent of jasmine from the Che Zell products lining the shelves so Turbo tipped a bucket of water over him, and he came spluttering back to life. 
“Remember Harry Wackett from the WW2 days?” He left us the complete plans for a home-built recreational aircraft with a BSA Bantam motor......
 

......" said Jasmine whose scent had been sent from ......

 

(Some say that Jasmine's is more a musk than a scent, but Elon doesn't agree)

Edited by Captain
  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

.....ly Chee as an experiment in market expansion, but a wayward Trump adviser had stamped all the vials with the image of a skunk, slowing sales and.....

Link to post
Share on other sites
23 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....ly Chee as an experiment in market expansion, but a wayward Trump adviser had stamped all the vials with the image of a skunk, slowing sales and.....

...... occasioning protests from Black & White Lives Matter, but with a wave of support from the Pepe for Premier campaign now that Dan has fallen down his stairs (or off his wallet), but that was nothing compared with what .....

Edited by Captain
Link to post
Share on other sites
On 09/03/2021 at 10:34 AM, turboplanner said:

.....ly Chee ......

Despite Turbo's double-entendre & fruity attempt at smut, most NESers love the taste of LyChees (the fruit [NTTIAWWTBTW] not the person).

 

Just say'n.

 

Image result for lychee

Edited by Captain
Link to post
Share on other sites

........had in mind.

"I've had it with Australia" said Ly Chee who was a sycophant of  Xi Jinping, "I'm going to take all their CO2 away from them" and thousands of Chine hit WeChat agreeing with LyChee, although a few said he was a flog.

Xi Jinping cautiously agreed with this action and ...................

 

Link to post
Share on other sites
5 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........had in mind.

"I've had it with Australia" said Ly Chee who was a sycophant of  Xi Jinping, "I'm going to take all their CO2 away from them" and thousands of Chine hit WeChat agreeing with LyChee, although a few said he was a flog.

Xi Jinping cautiously agreed with this action and ...................

 

..... he was somewhat fixated on Australia after he had tasted a Lychee Pavlova which had won 1st prize at the Devenport school fete (as cooked by bull as part of the compulsory Tazzy Gender Appreciation classes).

 

"Geeeez Louise (吉兹·路易丝)" said Xi to a few of his Devo mates (some of whom were from the aeroclub (航空俱乐部) (avref) (阿夫雷夫) and a  couple from the locals Hells Angels (地狱天使)) "That is the best ......

Edited by Captain
Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now

×
×
  • Create New...