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Posted (edited)

.......appendages, in an effort to acquire more monkey gland serum, so that Turbo could have another back-up sales winner, if Monkey Brand 2 stroke oil sales fell away, thanks to monkeypox.

 

But bull had rushed down to his local GP when the lesions on his hands appeared, in a desperate attempt to find out the cause. "It's not monkeypox, it's moneypox, as Cappy suggested", said the Doc.

"It's caused by handling too much paper money, particularly the larger denomination notes, and it can be cured by keeping right away from any kind of currency for at least 6 months", the Doc went on.

 

"I can't do it!!", cried bull. "That's too difficult for me to do, because I have to handle.........

 

Edited by onetrack
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Posted (edited)

all the friggin RAA costs to fly me bloody jackaroo ! almost need a carpet bag full of cash now to fuel up the mower,,,,how can i mow me lawn if i can not handle money cried Bull. Well you could..........

Edited by bull
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......use Tongs" said Ah Choo quietly.

"But I can't get my fingers around the handles" wailed bull.

"Not steer tongs" said Ah Choo, "Tongs are Chinese people, who handle money; money launderers and ..............."

 

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spike protien specialist,custom designed too said Ah Choo,why we can and have already..................

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Posted (edited)
14 hours ago, bull said:

spike protien specialist,custom designed too said Ah Choo,why we can and have already..................

...... given them the boot from the Temple, just like Jesus did, and we have also flicked them from all Wreck Flying Clubs, just like .....

 

JESUS GIVING THE MONEY LENDERS A FLOGGING, UNTIL HE FOUND OUT THAT

THE BLOKE IN THE BACK WAS OFFERING CONCESSIONAL RATES FOR WRECK

AIRCRAFT AND JACKOFFROO PURCHASES, THRU TURBINE FINANCE CORPORATION (OFFICES IN JERUSALEM & MOORABBIN).

 

See the source image

Edited by Captain
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.....CASA - only we work faster and more effectively at reducing the numbers of club members!"

"Temple? - did you mention a Temple?", said Turbo. "I can advise everyone that I have ready-made transportable Temples available, which will furnish the needs of the Aviation True Believers, and delivery is only just a tad over 3 mths from placing the order, and with each Temple comes a free.......

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Posted (edited)

...... series of 5 pink dongas, ex Gina's Roy Hill iron ore mine, to be used as a Manse, where the .........

 

PS ... Gina. When you read this as you browse Wreck Flying, ........ please stop calling me & crying during your messages. I am already taken and cannot be bought for casual liaisons.

Edited by Captain
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Posted (edited)
On 25/05/2022 at 9:40 PM, Captain said:

to be used as a Manse, where the .......

..... usual and questionable Manse type stuff goes on, and that .....

 

THE MANSE OF THE DIOCESE OF MOORABBIN/BRIGHTON

FROM WHICH TURBO OPERATED DURING HIS ECCLESIASTICAL PERIOD

See the source image

Edited by Captain
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........reprobate Cappy sits around drinking gin, ordering salmon sandwiches, monopolosing the movie theatre, and embarassing the Starlets with his old Polaroid Camera.

 

It's simply not true that the white speck out there in Port Phillip Bay is a rock on which Turbo places budding Starlets dressed as mermaids to rook Italian and Greek fishermen outa ona da bay to catch Snappings, but instead is ..........

 

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Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

........reprobate Cappy sits around drinking gin, ordering salmon sandwiches, monopolosing the movie theatre, and embarassing the Starlets with his old Polaroid Camera.

 

It's simply not true that the white speck out there in Port Phillip Bay is a rock on which Turbo places budding Starlets dressed as mermaids to rook Italian and Greek fishermen outa ona da bay to catch Snappings, but instead is ..........

 

...... a 40 times life-size statue of Turbo with his arms outstretched Corcovado-like, providing the people of Melbourne with the inspiration that ......

 

 

THIS IS THE ACTUAL LIFELIKE STATUE OF TURBO ON THE PORT PHILLIP ROCK

SCULPTED TO SHOW TURBO'S PRESENT BEARD AND LONG HAIRED LOOK.

ALSO NOTE THAT TUBB IS NOT WEARING ANY UNDERWEAR, SO NO PANTY-LINE

IS SHOWING BELOW HIS SHEAR SILK SEE-THROUGH ROBE.

 See the source image

Edited by Captain
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...........Port Phillip Bay hasn't drowned Melbourne yet because of climate change.

Infact there's a new saying around town that "When the sea reaches Turbo's waist, climate change had probably arrived.", but mostly from the boaties it's "who put that XXXXXX thing there! or .................

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4 hours ago, Captain said:

ALSO NOTE THAT TUBB IS NOT WEARING ANY UNDERWEAR, SO NO PANTY-LINE

IS SHOWING BELOW HIS SHEAR SILK SEE-THROUGH ROBE.

.... and at the time of the Summer Equinox the statue acts a bit like Stonehenge, the druids gather around the rock, and with the sun in the west it shines through his shear silk see-through robe and you can see his ........

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....Westernport Bay property which has a well-graded airstrip to cater for the many fly in breakfasts of the Aeroflite owners who .................

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Posted (edited)

one morning whilst having latte,s with Turbo apon leaving  they spotted the Turbo statue up to it,s waist in water and all hell broke loose amongst the Brighton woke subset and they started leaving in droves. Now old Turbo knows a good wicket and started buying all the waterfront properties for less then half their value .    Hmmmm said Bull this seems suss i better have a look at this turbo statue.  Well after an extensive survey Bull discovered that Turbine inc had mounted the statue on a submersible barge and secretly over night had sunk it to his knees ,to bring property values amongst the Brighton woke down to make a killing when he refloated the barge .   Cappy stood up and said..................

Edited by bull
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".......Why didn't I think of that?" and Turbo offered to sell him 50,000 shares in "Turbine Climate Change Ltd" at $728.00 per share.

Cappy didn't know the statue was on a submersible barge so he handed over his cash with alacrity and also with speed.

They made a killing, at one point buying Brighton homes for as little as $50.00, With all the homeowners having vacated the Bay area, for places like Perth and Bororoloola there was no one who knew where the shoreline should be, and one morning the citizens of southeast Melbourne awoke to see that the water level had fallen down to Turbo's tongs.

"We can make a killing again", said Cappy but his face paled as he saw an ad for Brighton Homes starting at $4 million, from Turbine Climate Changed Back Ltd.

 

"What about my share he wailed?" "There was a rush on the shares" replied Turbo, "and I was lucky to get a good parcel before they sold out"

 

Cappy was wise in these matters and checked the share register, finding all the shares owned by Turbine Statue Ltd.

 

Quietly, he registered Captain Cook's Seaside Cottages Limited, spent some time in Bunnnings buying certain tools, went to Mordialloc, and hired a dinghy with 20 hp four stroke Great Wall motor, and headed for the statue after night fell.

 

He didn't have to disguise himself because he knew Turbo had gone to Aspen for a month.

 

The next morning the water level in the Bay had risen to Turbo's neck, and Cappy put out a press release to say that Climate Change was about to occur within the next week. The Bayside population swallowed this because they were always being told climate change was coming, and none have ever thought to check the Williamstown Tidal Gauge.

 

Cappy bought the whole of Brighton from the new owners for $750.00 and a bottle of champagne each for the owners, and that night hired the dinghy, went out to the statue, closed the Bunnings Gate valve and started the Bunnings sump pump, and ...........

 

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1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

".......Why didn't I think of that?" and Turbo offered to sell him 50,000 shares in "Turbine Climate Change Ltd" at $728.00 per share.

Cappy didn't know the statue was on a submersible barge so he handed over his cash with alacrity and also with speed.

They made a killing, at one point buying Brighton homes for as little as $50.00, With all the homeowners having vacated the Bay area, for places like Perth and Bororoloola there was no one who knew where the shoreline should be, and one morning the citizens of southeast Melbourne awoke to see that the water level had fallen down to Turbo's tongs.

"We can make a killing again", said Cappy but his face paled as he saw an ad for Brighton Homes starting at $4 million, from Turbine Climate Changed Back Ltd.

 

"What about my share he wailed?" "There was a rush on the shares" replied Turbo, "and I was lucky to get a good parcel before they sold out"

 

Cappy was wise in these matters and checked the share register, finding all the shares owned by Turbine Statue Ltd.

 

Quietly, he registered Captain Cook's Seaside Cottages Limited, spent some time in Bunnnings buying certain tools, went to Mordialloc, and hired a dinghy with 20 hp four stroke Great Wall motor, and headed for the statue after night fell.

 

He didn't have to disguise himself because he knew Turbo had gone to Aspen for a month.

 

The next morning the water level in the Bay had risen to Turbo's neck, and Cappy put out a press release to say that Climate Change was about to occur within the next week. The Bayside population swallowed this because they were always being told climate change was coming, and none have ever thought to check the Williamstown Tidal Gauge.

 

Cappy bought the whole of Brighton from the new owners for $750.00 and a bottle of champagne each for the owners, and that night hired the dinghy, went out to the statue, closed the Bunnings Gate valve and started the Bunnings sump pump, and ...........

 

..... then .....

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Posted (edited)

Discovered that Turbo was one step ahead of him as the whole statue disintergrated in a load explosion !!! Cappy,s dingy became the fastest clinker dingy in the world as it rode atop of the wave crest heading towards his..........

Edited by bull
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Posted (edited)

.....newly-owned Brighton properties, when he suddenly realised there was a real possibility said properties were very soon going to be worth nothing, as the wall of the tsunami wave roared towards them - with Cappy riding on the top of it!

It was about then, that Cappys mind turned to amphibian aircraft, and how he wished he'd bought that SeaRey (long-overdue avref), and used that to sneak out to the statue.

 

But it was too late for all that now, as the wall of water approached Brighton at 55 knots, and Cappy knew that soon he'd be......

 

Edited by onetrack
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entwined with the latte set and this scared him more then the impending landing of the now flying dingy as the wave crest launched him and the dingy into............

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......where uninvited visitors arriving for coffee in cheap aluminium dinghies, were looked down upon with huge disdain, on a par with arriving in a.......

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Posted (edited)
3 hours ago, onetrack said:

......where uninvited visitors arriving for coffee in cheap aluminium dinghies, were looked down upon with huge disdain, on a par with arriving in a.......

.... Jackoffroo and landing on the main strip at Avalon, after which bull mooned the crowd as he accelerated down Taxiway C almost at takeoff speed, then chucked a deliberate ground loop to park the Jackoff in the middle of the intersection with C & A, between an F35 and a ........

Edited by Captain
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crashed jabiru,,and leaped out of the little machine to a ..................................

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12 hours ago, bull said:

crashed jabiru,,and leaped out of the little machine to a ..................................

..... hero's welcome, as bull, ever the non-conformist just .....

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.....gave them the Tasmanian Salute.

We don't wish to elaborate on what that is because this is a family site, but it made the crowd sheer harder, which gives you an indea of the tyoe of people who ttend the World's Greatest Airshow.

bull spent the rest of the day walking along the crowd restraint fence signing autographs and repeating the TS for the cameras.

 

During the day he noticed that the crashed Jabiru was just being squashed flatter and flatter by the heavier equipment, and he started asking about it. No one knew much about it, but then they were mostly Syrian refugees allowed out for the day, but one leather-faced character, a crop duster who didn't know a lot about planes told him they heard the pilot call "Gidday guys, what's happenin" and a spray back from the Show Controller to vacate the area, followed by "Expedite, Expedite, Expedite, but he proceeded to approach the junction of C&D, apparently figuring he would have a choice at the last minute, but rounded out far too high and fell to earth with a thud and shower of cracked fig=breglass particles. He jumped out with his AUF exit pack in hand, pulled out a spray can, and the tiny registration numbers, which hadn't been legible anyway completely disappeared, and so did he. The tower controller responded by routing all the heavy equipment over the aircraft which now looked like a .........

 

[Biggles award for the most aviation references crammed into a post in the NES to day - Mod 14]

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