farri Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 THE NEXT STIMULUS PAYMENT Sorry Guys! Something went wrong. Sometime this year, we taxpayers may again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment. This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by Using a Q & A format: Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ? It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers. Q. Where will the government get this money ? From taxpayers& Extended Loans from China, to put us further into debit Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ? A. Only a smidgen of it. Q. What is the purpose of this payment ? A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase ahigh-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy. Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ? A. Shut up. Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the Aust. Economy by Spending your stimulus cheque wisely: If you spend the stimulus money at Coles,the money willgoto China or Sri Lanka . If you spend it on petrol, your money will go to the Arabs. If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China . If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala. If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .. If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will goto management bonuses and they will hide itoffshore. Instead, keep the money in Australia by: 1) Spending it at garage sales, or 2) Going to the footy , or 3) Spending it on prostitutes,or 4) Beer or 5) Tattoos. (These are the only Australian businesses still operating in Australia ) Conclusion: Go to a footy game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a garage-sale and drink beer all day ! No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help. Sometime this year, we taxpayers may again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment. This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by Using a Q & A format: Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ? It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers. Q. Where will the government get this money ? From taxpayers& Extended Loans from China, to put us further into debit Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ? A. Only a smidgen of it. Q. What is the purpose of this payment ? A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase ahigh-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy. Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ? A. Shut up. Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the Aust. Economy by Spending your stimulus cheque wisely: If you spend the stimulus money at Coles,the money willgoto China or Sri Lanka . If you spend it on petrol, your money will go to the Arabs. If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China . If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala. If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .. If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will goto management bonuses and they will hide itoffshore. Instead, keep the money in Australia by: 1) Spending it at garage sales, or 2) Going to the footy , or 3) Spending it on prostitutes,or 4) Beer or 5) Tattoos. (These are the only Australian businesses still operating in Australia ) Conclusion: Go to a footy game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a garage-sale and drink beer all day ! No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
planedriver Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 THE NEXT STIMULUS PAYMENTSorry Guys! Something went wrong. So what your saying Frank is "that that there will now be no government subsidy for RAAus membership" Geez mate you know how to make people cry:bash: Sometime this year, we taxpayers may again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment. This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by Using a Q & A format: Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ? It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers. Q. Where will the government get this money ? From taxpayers& Extended Loans from China, to put us further into debit Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ? A. Only a smidgen of it. Q. What is the purpose of this payment ? A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase ahigh-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy. Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ? A. Shut up. Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the Aust. Economy by Spending your stimulus cheque wisely: If you spend the stimulus money at Coles,the money willgoto China or Sri Lanka . If you spend it on petrol, your money will go to the Arabs. If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China . If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala. If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .. If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will goto management bonuses and they will hide itoffshore. Instead, keep the money in Australia by: 1) Spending it at garage sales, or 2) Going to the footy , or 3) Spending it on prostitutes,or 4) Beer or 5) Tattoos. (These are the only Australian businesses still operating in Australia ) Conclusion: Go to a footy game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a garage-sale and drink beer all day ! No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help. Sometime this year, we taxpayers may again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment. This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by Using a Q & A format: Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ? It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers. Q. Where will the government get this money ? From taxpayers& Extended Loans from China, to put us further into debit Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ? A. Only a smidgen of it. Q. What is the purpose of this payment ? A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase ahigh-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy. Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ? A. Shut up. Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the Aust. Economy by Spending your stimulus cheque wisely: If you spend the stimulus money at Coles,the money willgoto China or Sri Lanka . If you spend it on petrol, your money will go to the Arabs. If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China . If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala. If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .. If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will goto management bonuses and they will hide itoffshore. Instead, keep the money in Australia by: 1) Spending it at garage sales, or 2) Going to the footy , or 3) Spending it on prostitutes,or 4) Beer or 5) Tattoos. (These are the only Australian businesses still operating in Australia ) Conclusion: Go to a footy game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a garage-sale and drink beer all day ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
facthunter Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 Franco. Hope your plane flys better than this. Nev Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zibi Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 Sometime this year, we taxpayers may again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment. This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by Using a Q & A format: Q. What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ? A. It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers. Q. Where will the government get this money ? A. From taxpayers & Extended Loans from China, to put us further into debit Q. So the government is giving me back my own money ? A. Only a smidgen of it. Q. What is the purpose of this payment ? A. The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a high-definition TV set, thus stimulating the economy. Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ? A. Shut up. Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the Aust. Economy by Spending your stimulus cheque wisely: If you spend the stimulus money at Coles,the money will go to China or Sri Lanka . If you spend it on petrol, your money will go to the Arabs. If you purchase a computer, it will go to India , Taiwan or China . If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico , Honduras and Guatemala. If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea .. If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will goto management bonuses and they will hide itoffshore. Instead, keep the money in Australia by: 1) Spending it at garage sales, or 2) Going to the footy , or 3) Spending it on prostitutes,or 4) Beer or 5) Tattoos. (These are the only Australian businesses still operating in Australia ) Conclusion: Go to a footy game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a garage-sale and drink beer all day ! No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help. Have a fix here, writing white text on white background is not an optimal way to do it, unless you're afraid of the taxmen and want to hide your great ideas from them ;) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skeptic36 Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 Zibi beat me to it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazza 38 Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 I was having real trouble trying to read the original white version. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
old man emu Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 I think that using white as the font colour was the joke. OME 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rankamateur Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 Stimulating China's economy - Isn't that the whole point of turning off the TV signal that every one recieved on their old TV set and replace it with a signal that not nearly so many people get on their new Chinese flat screen TV while their house full of CRT TV sets lie on the curbside awaiting a council collection, Meanwhile the rest of us upgrade our antennas and buy set top boxes to try and get what we used to get on the TV before the stimulus package - the joke was on us all! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bexrbetter Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 Q. But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ? A. Shut up. Instead, keep the money in Australia by: 1) Spending it at garage sales, or 2) Going to the footy , or 3) Spending it on prostitutes,or 4) Beer or 5) Tattoos. How awesome is it to do business in China and come home a few times a year to spend my earnings! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gnarly Gnu Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 If you oppose imported goods at least be consistent and oppose Australian exports also. (Totally agree about the waste and failure of each of the stimulus measures). 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gnarly Gnu Posted March 27, 2013 Share Posted March 27, 2013 Sorry folks, please ignore that ^ I forgot this was the humour section..... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now