Captain Posted May 18, 2014 Share Posted May 18, 2014 BREAKING NEWS ................... BREAKING NEWS ............................ BREAKING NEWS Knowing what passionate monarchists the Welsh are, for Bob's sake I felt compelled to break into the NES with the latest, just in from one of my mates at Scotland Yard, following a fracas in Knightsbridge last night where some Greek bloke got glassed .................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob Llewellyn Posted May 19, 2014 Share Posted May 19, 2014 BREAKING NEWS ................... BREAKING NEWS ............................ BREAKING NEWS Knowing what passionate monarchists the Welsh are, for Bob's sake I felt compelled to break into the NES with the latest, just in from one of my mates at Scotland Yard, following a fracas in Knightsbridge last night where some Greek bloke got glassed .................. Marm, ya shoulda used the boot, look you! Your majesty... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 Marm, ya shoulda used the boot, look you! Your majesty... ..... may have been misidentified. El Ratpoo must throw himself on the mercy of NES readers as he has just realized that a terrible error may have been made. The mug-shot in post #9026 may not actually be Her Madge the great great granddaughter of Queen Vic, but instead it could actually be a mug-shot from the T'ville cop shop showing His Madgesty, St Madge of the Cubozoa with the cube-shaped medusa ....... after the last knees-up at Mont Perrier aero club when he was seen doing .................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 ............toad cuddles with the club bitzer before................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob Llewellyn Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 ............toad cuddles with the club bitzer before................ ...getting into a punch-up with that bloke... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andys@coffs Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 from CASA who wanted to breath test Madge jest for toad toxin.... "We are a strict liability organisation, when we have a rule about something and you break it you're strictly liable and will cop a fair old wallet walloping. When we don't have a rule about something its up to us to make one up or point you at one our completely unintelligible rules, tell you that one disallows what ever it is that we think your doing wrong and again you will cop a fair old wallet walloping proportional in severity to how much whinging you do. So lets get a mouth swab done to test for toad toxins cause if you have any of those we want to keep you from flying....at least aircraft flying" But Madge used toads like popeye used spinach and the poor dude from CASA was quickly.......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob Llewellyn Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 from CASA who wanted to breath test Madge jest for toad toxin.... "We are a strict liability organisation, when we have a rule about something and you break it you're strictly liable and will cop a fair old wallet walloping. When we don't have a rule about something its up to us to make one up or point you at one our completely unintelligible rules, tell you that one disallows what ever it is that we think your doing wrong and again you will cop a fair old wallet walloping proportional in severity to how much whinging you do. So lets get a mouth swab done to test for toad toxins cause if you have any of those we want to keep you from flying....at least aircraft flying" But Madge used toads like popeye used spinach and the poor dude from CASA was quickly.......... dissolved by the intensity of his breath. Madge stared in guilty horror at the spreading puddle of blubber and blood. Rat punched him lightly on the shoulder, and said... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 dissolved by the intensity of his breath. Madge stared in guilty horror at the spreading puddle of blubber and blood. Rat punched him lightly on the shoulder, and said... ...... "Use the "Lightwing" defence, mate, that ...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andys@coffs Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 "No Way!!" said Andy "The lightwing defence will never fly in this case, and indeed not many others as well, because"................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob Llewellyn Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 "No Way!!" said Andy "The lightwing defence will never fly in this case, and indeed not many others as well, because"................ ...he's not bluddy safe, he's DEAD!' "Dead safe, eh?" drawled Ben Tley, who could be found wherever gin was being served. "Look, in a legal situation the facts are secondary, look at the way aviation is regulated for heaven's sake!" he went on. "This dude is grounded, so he's safe!". Rat lightly elbowed him in the face. "I hate to admit it" he growled, "but the pom... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryon Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 ...may have a point here." "If we can teach Madge to speak wif a Sean Connery accent, they may think he is a complete nutter and will....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted May 20, 2014 Share Posted May 20, 2014 ...may have a point here.""If we can teach Madge to speak wif a Sean Connery accent, they may think he is a complete nutter and will....... ...... ask him to replace Macka as boss of CASA. But instead, Madge broke out in a Michael Cain accent which meant that he ............ My Aunt just wrote me a letter from her garden which was very complimentary of Defence Attorney Turdbro's mitigation explanation of Blank Page on another thread. "Wow" she said in francais 'Is there anything that the TurdBoy can't do?" Then ma Tante just flicked me another hand written note to say that Andre has just kicked him in the pignons. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryon Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 ....sounded sexy to all the young women who love a cock-a-knee (spikemilliganref) accent "Whose knee" squealed Mavis..... and ma Tante quickly followed with "whose ......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob Llewellyn Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 ....sounded sexy to all the young women who love a ****-a-knee (spikemilliganref) accent"Whose knee" squealed Mavis..... and ma Tante quickly followed with "whose ......... ...that sexy bloke? Oh..." As she saw it was just Madge. Ben, cravatte elegantly held to his bloody nose, sidled up and molested her - but her legendary left elbow did its thing, and... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 ....not only mangled his undercarriage, but he was no longer a taildragger, and..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andys@coffs Posted May 22, 2014 Share Posted May 22, 2014 he made a quite unceremonious 8 point landing with exactly zero bounce and zero need to grope anyone anywhere.... Rat sniggered and suggested that...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted May 23, 2014 Share Posted May 23, 2014 he made a quite unceremonious 8 point landing with exactly zero bounce and zero need to grope anyone anywhere.... Rat sniggered and suggested that...... ....... he immediately get in touch with Ben Tley's brothers Tet, Mot & ................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted May 23, 2014 Share Posted May 23, 2014 ..........Screw, who had been to a different school to the others and....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted May 23, 2014 Share Posted May 23, 2014 ..........Screw, who had been to a different school to the others and....... ................................. it was evident that Tubb has forgotten his medication again today, as Screw is actually a member of the Pull family, which came from .................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryon Posted May 23, 2014 Share Posted May 23, 2014 ...Jerkov, a small town near Upper Kumbukta West (not to be confused with Lower Kumbukta West just down the road) where...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted May 23, 2014 Share Posted May 23, 2014 ..... it is a little known fact that Jerkov is a quite common name. There is one in Tasmania and there used to be one in WA before he resigned from the Board. But I digress, because the Lower Kumbukta West CWA Netball Team is well known for their ................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob Llewellyn Posted May 24, 2014 Share Posted May 24, 2014 ..... it is a little known fact that Jerkov is a quite common name. There is one in Tasmania and there used to be one in WA before he resigned from the Board. But I digress, because the Lower Kumbukta West CWA Netball Team is well known for their ................... extremely short skirts, which are a bit horrifying as they are a men's netball team. As Rattso tried on a set of bike shorts, a gigantic Lightwing (seen before on this thread, coming to a thread near you soon) roared over the Central Bludgeness District of Cantborough, where... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 ..... a lone bludgocrat looked out of his (or her) office Window, heard a magnificently powerful blue head, saw the well flown Lightwing circling in beautiful totally balanced flight and said "........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andys@coffs Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 "wow these Cantborough Magic Mushroom are ...... like.......Magic!, unless they kill you...in which case they aren't so special.....But not available at Down Down we'll keep you down, Coales or Rozaus" If you want them, then you'd best............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted May 25, 2014 Share Posted May 25, 2014 "wow these Cantborough Magic Mushroom are ...... like.......Magic!, unless they kill you...in which case they aren't so special.....But not available at Down Down we'll keep you down, Coales or Rozaus" If you want them, then you'd best............ ......... get prepared as they will give you the squirts, which as you all know, has been the downfall of my previously unblemished reputation." "I know, and they grow them up in the foothills behind Coughs&Splutters" added Andy sadly, then became morose and added "How could a person ever stand for a responsible Board position after getting a reputation for filling a hat, just because of a few MM's." "Does Madge Mallard give you the squirts too, Andy" asked the Twelve Incher who hadn't been following the story too closely. "No" was Andy's reply "Saint Madge the Duck does not have that effect on me, but I can't speak for others. The MM to which or whom I was referring 2 paragraphs above is ................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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