Captain Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 Jelly belly Clive Handjob tripped over a bar stool as he reached for his banana split and ..... .......... out popped Mal Turncoat, who had been hiding in the 2nd fold in the Handjob's belly, ever since Andy Setscrew outed him the other night. Turbo, who is an experienced political apparatchik, turned to Mal and turned on him when he said "................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 " where's that smell of possum skin coming from?" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryon Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 ..."Bang-it-holme" yelled Nobu, our nipponese ninja of nefarious misdeeds for Cowla, the infamous Plisoner of Raw camp not far from Upper East Gumly Gumly where men are men and the sheep are scared "I charrenge you to a fly up" he shouted "Fly up" queried Turdbro "where is your plane?" "Fly up with possum burgers you pirrock, not fly up with prane. Do you not understrand Engrish?" At this insult to his use of the Queens language, Turdbro took umbrage (?ref), pulled himself up to his full height (or as much as he could reach) and said....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 ".........in that case the first course will be Big Angus Bull medallions, so as Mrs Beaton used to say 'first catch your bull!', and...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 ".........in that case the first course will be Big Angus Bull medallions, so as Mrs Beaton used to say 'first catch your bull!', and...... ............ the response came back "you'll-never-catch-me-in-my-tyrojackacricket, you-mexican-wankers" as bull turned a right base over the azure sea & white sand on approach into Bone for a full-stop landing after a weekend of passion on Hamilton (the island, not the bloke [NTTIAWWT]). To which the Moorabbin Mauler replied .............. My Aunt wonders what Turbo was doing up at 3.58 am this morning. Just getting home from dinner and high-jinx in Lygon St after a bank job, she assumes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 ".........You might be a space man, but will that two stroke make a full stop at 300 feet [full of avrefs PLaney], or......." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted June 4, 2014 Share Posted June 4, 2014 ".........You might be a space man, but will that two stroke make a full stop at 300 feet [full of avrefs PLaney], or......." ...... orv-course-it-will, eh" replied-bull "well,-eventually-anyway-if'n-I-can-keep-it-point'n-ruffly-in-the-right-direction, which-is ............... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 ...... orv-course-it-will, eh" replied-bull "well,-eventually-anyway-if'n-I-can-keep-it-point'n-ruffly-in-the-right-direction, which-is ............... ............ supine-and-with-these-black-round-softish-things (AvRef) {editor's note ... The Editorial Panel believe that bull is referring here to his "wheels" (AvRef) unless perhaps he has other round softish things that hang down below him ....... which are also black} pointing-down-and basically-below-me,,,, which-would-be ................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 .........soft-terrain-skids-with-space-bars, which after some use turn black and blue unless the landings are very soft, or on one wing, followed by a neatly executed nose-over, in which case the skids are often a pink colour. We won't identify the preferred aircraft make for this type of landing in case we trigger off a major debate on: (a) How Tony Abbott has victimised these planes by making them flip over (b) How this is the real cause of global warming © That Jesus really was the fifth member of the Beatles (d) .............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted June 5, 2014 Share Posted June 5, 2014 .........© That Jesus really was the fifth member of the Beatles ... The TurdBoy has raised a very interesting point here which Ratty and Ahpox often ponder in great detail over their weekly coffee and cake philosophical discussions while looking at the ladies walk past in Baylis St (NTTIAWWT). Whereas there are numerous depictions of HaMashiach Yeshua from 2000 years ago, below is an actual photo of the Save-Your getting ready to rock. You read it first here folks and the NES breaks new religious ground, yet again, where the cult of the Hannover Holey Tram was borne, Yoko & that sheila that recently dumped Paul have been booked for next year's Nativity Play ...... and praise be to our Good & Chief Shepherd, St Madge of the Blessed ............. My Aunt has belatedly asked me to clarify that in the interests of religious harmony and to maintain the status quo (another band that he may have dabbled in), Hesus is not the left handed one, otherwise the Brothers would have belted the right-handed kids on the back of their hand with a ruler. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 ....Urgin Mary, is going to be the Choirboy - silent of course, but sure to be a hit in his little red jumpsuit. Epaulette is going to be the newborn baby Jesus, and Ahlot will be the lamb. Ratso of course is the donkey, Salty , B12 and-bull will be the three wise men from the East, and...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 ....Urgin Mary, is going to be the Choirboy - silent of course, but sure to be a hit in his little red jumpsuit. Epaulette is going to be the newborn baby Jesus, and Ahlot will be the lamb. Ratso of course is the donkey, Salty , B12 and-bull will be the three wise men from the East, and...... ....... Madge will play the Virgin who is an Urchin that needs no Urge'n. (But can he remember back that far to those days when he was unsullied ..... you may well ask?). Turbo will continue his Forum role as Satan, then double as Lucifer (and we'll see how long it takes Ahlow to extinguish THOSE fires), The 12 Incher will get it out and do double duty as the Snake (Like Peter Sellers in Dr Strangelove), Eeeeeen will play Noah to save us from PPrune two by two, but the starring role will be Andy and his Hat who will take the role as Abraham, then glam-up to play every one of the Angels (except Doc Neeson) ..... however I do hope that Andy wears new undies then keeps his legs together when he flaps his wings as they lift him up on those wires, when he ................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 ......is expected to seamlessly float out above the audience while singing.................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 ......is expected to seamlessly float out above the audience while singing.................. ............ a duet with Marcia Hines (although Andy, as ever, would have preferred a 3-Way) in a rendition of that well known song from JC Superstar, ....................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted June 6, 2014 Share Posted June 6, 2014 "...........I don't know how to flyyyyyeeeee", but trouble was brewing with the script....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted June 7, 2014 Share Posted June 7, 2014 "...........I don't know how to flyyyyyeeeee", but trouble was brewing with the script....... .......... which was medieval Kaiserzeit Gotische calligraphy that Andy couldn't read properly (and as all of you NES thespians know, a script written in script is a pain in the arse to perform), however when he sang the 1st verse of "I don't know how to flyyyyyeeee" the CASA Inspector and the RA-Oz Ops Manager jumped from the wings (TheatreRef) in tandem (SkydivingRef), checked the status of his latest BFR (AvRef) ("What the **** is a BFR?" chanted Andy), then they handcuffed (BondageRef) Andy while they sang that rousing duet ................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted June 7, 2014 Share Posted June 7, 2014 .........."Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's off to work we go............" which drew a rousing cheer and standing ovation from the audience, which on that night consisted of a block booking of the Ramp Checking department of CASA who..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted June 8, 2014 Share Posted June 8, 2014 .........."Hi Ho, Hi Ho, it's off to work we go............" which drew a rousing cheer and standing ovation from the audience, which on that night consisted of a block booking of the Ramp Checking department of CASA who..... ....... the theatre manager declared as the most "fun", friendly and erudite group that he had ever had attend any of their performances. "Those CASA Ramp-Checkers are a laugh a minute ..... and so worldly wise, yet down to earth." he added. "They are not fun-guys" responded Ratso "They are more like toad's-tools." And the same judgement was later passed by a shop down the road from the theatre which sold adult marital aids. Then Andy piped up to take the gloss of that magical evening. "When Tink mentioned a problem with the script in his post #9140, not only was he referring to the crappy content of the writing, or the fact that it was printed in Kaiserzeit Gotische calligraphy .................. but my fee was also to be paid in BHP Shares which is blue-chip script that I needed to exchange on the black member's market for a bulk quantity of thru-bolts, exhaust valves & water-proof hats, however the script with which I have actually been paid was from ............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted June 8, 2014 Share Posted June 8, 2014 ....... .................. but my fee was also to be paid in BHP Shares which is blue-chip script that I needed to exchange on the black member's market for a bulk quantity of thru-bolts, exhaust valves & water-proof hats, however the script with which I have actually been paid was from ............. ......... a blue-movie which was partially written in sanskrit (a suspect sacrilegious sanskrit script) in which the 12 Incher starred back in 1971, when ................ Ma tante has located her plume out in the jardin and dropped me a note this morning to make the very relevant point that when the theatre manager in post # 9143 described the CASA rump-checkers as the "most fun, friendly and erudite that had ever attended any of their performances", that doesn't mean all that much as all previous performances had been in H Division at Pentridge. ANDY'S STAR'S DRESSING ROOM IN PENTRIDGE (Note the new-fangled appliance in the corner that has saved the lives of several hats). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 EDITOR'S SPECIAL NOTE ...................... All new Forum Members should note Andy's thru-bolt adjustment tool and exhaust valve special removal tool that is located in pride of place on the rock in that above photo. He takes it everywhere that he goes (because he HAS to). That same tool is used to "true" Axe crankshafts & to adjust exhaust systems prior to re-welding, although in that case the tool is imported from Europe and is 50% more expensive. Signed .......... The Editor and the Wreck-Flying Special Moderatti Panel Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 going back to the tread after the grisly truth about the length some people have to go to to keep their aircraft in the air: ...we hadn't yet reached the Facebook era where everyone has picked up the verbal form of Sanskrit. They haven't got it quite right yet - OMG in Sanskrit really means "I present myself backwards", but who cares. Sp when the script was written partially in Sanskrit, it could present some very embarrassing situations for actors like Ahlot (who was an Act in himself), and B12 who not only....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bandit12 Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 ....hadn't passed his english competency assessment prior to arriving in Australia on a leaky flying boat, but was caught with 2 undeclared scripts by customs. The first was little more than a role play which was known to be enjoyed by Ratso, while the second was..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 ........based on the manifesto of Hitler. That one was quickly confiscated by Customs, and went missing from the Confiscated Things office. Rumours emerged that it had been offered around to the best bidder among the Bureaucratic network and the winner was.......................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted June 9, 2014 Share Posted June 9, 2014 ........ the section of the Authority that oversees RA OZZ, except for the bit about Eva Braun which was onsold to Ahlot for use in his character study for his appearance in his self written play at the Blue Oyster, which he had tentatively called The Eva Braun Follies or Fun with AH, or ........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted June 13, 2014 Share Posted June 13, 2014 ........ the section of the Authority that oversees RA OZZ, except for the bit about Eva Braun which was onsold to Ahlot for use in his character study for his appearance in his self written play at the Blue Oyster, which he had tentatively called The Eva Braun Follies or Fun with AH, or ........... ........... EvaLocks - The Gay Icon (NTTIAWWT), or ..................... AHLOCKS IN COSTUME AND IN CHARACTER DURING A BREAK IN REHEARSALS, PLAYING OPPOSITE TURBO. There are rumours in the Gumly Gumly Chronicle or a romantic entanglement, both on and off the set. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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