turboplanner Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 .....admire Ratso's pure white Mink Coat while they waited for Madge to arrive. Turbo suggested that bare hairy legs and Nike shoes didn't fit all that well with a Mink coat, especially as this was Tarnsville and Rat was sweating profusely exuding a body odour that would have knocked out a Coal Miner, and Ratso turned a shade of pink and................ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 .....admire Ratso's pure white Mink Coat while they waited for Madge to arrive.Turbo suggested that bare hairy legs and Nike shoes didn't fit all that well with a Mink coat, especially as this was Tarnsville and Rat was sweating profusely exuding a body odour that would have knocked out a Coal Miner, and Ratso turned a shade of pink and................ ..... apologised for offending everyone." "youze all need a rev (AvRef)" said blank page "for not using capitals and for not mentioning that the sweets at the Mont Perrier $1000 per plate knees-up comprised a compote of étoile de mer covered with a jus of medusa which can only be eaten while wearing collants en votre tête." At this point the Mont Perrier Bœuf & Burgundy committee tittered behind their hands and immediately called St Madge of the Blessed Mont Perrier Promotions Committee into the room to ............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob Llewellyn Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 ..... apologised for offending everyone." "youze all need a rev (AvRef)" said blank page "for not using capitals and for not mentioning that the sweets at the Mont Perrier $1000 per plate knees-up comprised a compote of étoile de mer covered with a jus of medusa which can only be eaten while wearing collants en votre tête." At this point the Mont Perrier Bœuf & Burgundy committee tittered behind their hands and immediately called St Madge of the Blessed Mont Perrier Promotions Committee into the room to ............ ...introduce the signature event, a discourse on this course by the famed aviation chef... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 .......provide an explanation. "Call your local Rep" he said with that silly grin. "But" said Tactless, "You're the local Rep!" "Am I?" asked Madge "Well anyway I NEVER answer my phone, I could be someone from India trying to sell me something" As he turned away he saw the Little Green Man with a protest sign which read "RAE is stufedmajamusgew,tel ya, I dun". He squinted his eyes and............... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 ....... He squinted his eyes and............... .......... rolled (AvRef) onto one cheek, getting ready to .......... (The famed aviation chef as mentioned by Bobbb Llewwellyyn in his post # 9228 was from Inner Mongolia and his name was Executive Chef Qan Tas, ably assisted by his countrymen Bo Ac, El Al and ...............) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andys@coffs Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Eti had all been following Qan Tas for years before deciding among themselves that Qan talked up a good story but when it came to making a profit there wouldn't be much gold leaf that could be used to differentiate economy from...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob Llewellyn Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 Eti had all been following Qan Tas for years before deciding among themselves that Qan talked up a good story but when it came to making a profit there wouldn't be much gold leaf that could be used to differentiate economy from...... executive fat-arsed productive heavy-lifting taxpayer (economyref) class, and in any case the fat would use up the weight allowance for the gold leaf. "But wait!" said Roice Roles, "we have new engines, that..." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bryon Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 ...will only fail every 400 hours becos you guys dont unnerstand that they are tuned for FnQ, not Vic or SA (NTTIAWWT) and dont run em properley Youse guys have to learn to...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 ...will only fail every 400 hours becos you guys dont unnerstand that they are tuned for FnQ, not Vic or SA (NTTIAWWT) and dont run em properleyYouse guys have to learn to...... ....... live with the fact that you are going to have to crack an EFATO (NTTIAWWT) some time soon. "What's the difference between a real FATO and an internet based "E" FATO asked Mavis, who considered herself to be a connoisseur of FATOs. Ah-BarbyDoll thought about that for a while, consulted the well known Caboolture Oracle who rang their head office and asked ..................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 ........If FATO = "X", then what "E" FATO? The Caboolture Oracle, who was known for his boutique shop which sold swim suits replied: "I DUN O" This was written up in the press as one of the most insightful explanations of EFATO in the history of aviation, and...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 ........If FATO = "X", then what "E" FATO?The Caboolture Oracle, who was known for his boutique shop which sold swim suits replied: "I DUN O" This was written up in the press as one of the most insightful explanations of EFATO in the history of aviation, and...... .... then overturned in a Supreme Court action when the Court accepted that this explanation was just the Oracle defending another Bundaberg based Queensland corporation after he had seen one fly over a couple of years before. The court action wasn't helped when the Oracle continually chanted "Queenslander" while giving his evidence, then claimed not to know what was a Thru-bolt, or a stretched valve or a nose-wheel. The Bone based judge was very critical and as part of his closing remarks said "I thunk you was supposed to be an Oracle, but then I found that you are a mate of Madge's, a crony of Steve's and a buddy of Miles-&-Miles, which ................ My Aunt understands that St Madge of the blessed Axe hasn't cracked a FATO, either real or internet based, for months. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 ....caused the Caboolture Oracle to demonstrate an enormous EFATO. The Judge said: "I'm not convinced thet wors an EFATO, I'm, more inclined to think it was just a FATO; Clear the room please so we can have an Inspection! But the room had been well and truly cleared by the CO's emission, and..... Well my Aunt says that after Madge's best mate, in another, lesser forum [EenRef] proclaimed that Madge was a useless dill, and recommended everyone vote for an eminently qualified North Queenslander. St Madge the Silent has been very quiet. Turbo was intrigued by this apparent split between mates and did some research on the Eminent Queenslander and found that her only aviation qualification was as a pole dancer, which makes one wonder about the tastes of the best mate............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted July 7, 2014 Share Posted July 7, 2014 .......... and apart from the fact that "Eminent Queenslander" may be an oxymoron, there is also little doubt that when the "Eminent Queenslander" is pole dancing it may cause an imminent EFATO or FATO in any of the non-eminent Queenslanders that may be watching. ""Eminent Queenslander" may not be an oxymoron" said Brackish "But may just be a moron who is a waste of oxygen". "Don't worry about taste, mate" replied St Madge of the blessed Any-opportunity-that-he-can-get, "When there is a FATO or even an EFATO to be had, I'll be quicker than a seagull on a chip or a ....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob Llewellyn Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 .......... and apart from the fact that "Eminent Queenslander" may be an oxymoron, there is also little doubt that when the "Eminent Queenslander" is pole dancing it may cause an imminent EFATO or FATO in any of the non-eminent Queenslanders that may be watching. ""Eminent Queenslander" may not be an oxymoron" said Brackish "But may just be a moron who is a waste of oxygen". "Don't worry about taste, mate" replied St Madge of the blessed Any-opportunity-that-he-can-get, "When there is a FATO or even an EFATO to be had, I'll be quicker than a seagull on a chip or a ....... ...Thruster in a 200kt tailwind (AVREF)". "Cor!" said Brackish, "you don't half have a tailwind yourself (toilet humour ref). "Do not!" said Madge indignantly, "they don't meet recreational stall speed requirements..."(AVREF). The Caboolture oracle peeked back into the room. "You should spray for all these b***y REFs!" he said, then... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 .....found himself on the end of Een's broom for abusing people, but before he could....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 .....found himself on the end of Een's broom for abusing people, but before St Eeeeen of the blessed WreckFlying could....... ........... give Brackish a holiday for abuse and the continued use of the unhelpful icon (even after it had been taken out of the icon list), Salty volunteered for a holiday. "I'd like to go to Fiji please Eeeen" he said "Either that or King Island or one of the five star Werribee tours (See http://melbournewater.com.au/getinvolved/education/programs/WTPtours/Pages/Visit-the-Western-Treatment-Plant.aspx) ............... or basically anything but here at the Nong." "I know how you feel Brine" responded Eeeeeen "I'll arrange for ............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 ..........a visit to Ahlot's lockup, which no one has ever escaped from. It's a 21st Century "Virtual State" system which goes with him. Years ago a whole fire crew were locked into sitting outside an airfield while a Jabiru burnt to the ground on a taxyway. Loxy explained later to the press: "I was really trying to do a good deed..................................." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 .......... Loxy explained later to the press: "I was really trying to do a good deed..................................." ............ and was looking to flick the Beer-Can (RivetRef) at the time, so everyone was happy and it worked out well after I swept the taxiway." "And what a coincidence" added Poxy "As I have the Werribee Poop-Plant Tour franchise & Icecream Shop, so have given Eeen a voucher for use with his enforced holidays and will also offer Salty the Deluxe Tour which will allow him to .............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 ..................qualify for the banquet featuring indigenous products from the local area, and...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 ..................qualify for the banquet featuring indigenous products from the local area, and...... .......... the well known 5 Dunlop Stars Possum Consommé that is prepared on a bed of finely chopped serrated tussock and drizzled with a jus of a freshly squeezed baby Koala, all prepared by one of Bange-It-Holme's & Moorabbin's finest & best loved indigenous leaders, Uncle TurdBro who also provides ............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 ....such delicacies as Orange Bellied Parrot on a stick, Le Growling Grass Frogge Fritters, and devilled Wombat, all of which he obtains from his friend Deb the Dangerous at the local Wildlife Refuge, and which...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 ....such delicacies as Orange Bellied Parrot on a stick, Le Growling Grass Frogge Fritters, and devilled Wombat, all of which he obtains from his friend Deb the Dangerous at the local Wildlife Refuge, and which...... .......... have bitten staff or guests. This is evidenced by the fact that Uncle Turdy is developing a new recipe for Crocodile, now that there is an oversupply of Croc on the market this week after one tried to give his Keeper a love-bite down Shoalhaven way. "That there is a NSW Croc" said Turdy "And we don't like them northern crocs, eh" he added "So I'm gunna get mine from brother Loxley at Werribee, as a number of Melbournistan's croc fanciers flushed theirs down the dunny when they grew a bit and became less cute (AhLowRef), then I'll ..................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 .........train them, as I've trained many other animals (for those new to the NES, Turbo is known throughout the world for his skills, and not many people know this, but he was the model for the film "The Horse Whisperer", and the technical advisor on the set until the unfortunate incident where he put down a horse with an axle to the forehead. He is also known as "Goat Whisperer", Possum Whisperer (he extracts them from ceilings, although some people have complained about the loud BANG! and ceiling stains, Flea Whisperer (all kinds of feas have a natural attraction to him), and Croc Rider (he's quicker than the idiot in NSW, and uses a fake hand just in case). "But how will you.........................." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 .........train them, as I've trained many other animals (for those new to the NES, Turbo is known throughout the world for his skills, and not many people know this, but he was the model for the film "The Horse Whisperer", and the technical advisor on the set until the unfortunate incident where he put down a horse with an axle to the forehead. He is also known as "Goat Whisperer", Possum Whisperer (he extracts them from ceilings, although some people have complained about the loud BANG! and ceiling stains, Flea Whisperer (all kinds of feas have a natural attraction to him), and Croc Rider (he's quicker than the idiot in NSW, and uses a fake hand just in case). "But how would you.........................." ..... get a goat into a ceiling in the first place, and why do you always whisper to your goats from behind?" asked The Dazzler 37 7/8ths, who was being a tad risqué and referring back to his Greek heritage. "It's a technique that is older than time, before I became oppressed and made to buy the white-fella's Corvette" replied Turbs "They talk about the Stolen Generation .......... well mine is a Stolen General-Motors, but nobody knows because I resprayed it red using one of Brine's railway carriage beautification cans (GraffitiRef) mixed with the blood of a ........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted July 9, 2014 Share Posted July 9, 2014 ...........train surfer, who had zigged when he should have zagged, and............... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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