turboplanner Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 .........thought he might be able to pull it off, and having watched many reality makeover shows, knocked on Salty's door. He recoiled in horror as Salty opened his................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 .........thought he might be able to pull it off, and having watched many reality makeover shows, knocked on Salty's door.He recoiled in horror as Salty opened his................. ...... lunch, then .......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 ..........offered Johnny one of his Cured Meat Pies (CMP) which he regularly buys at Turbo's Roadside Emporium (TRE) which was a galvanised iron shed with an ice cream dish for the money. Turbo had found the pies lasted about two weeks on the shelf without any serious complaints, and it was a great way to get rid of possum meat, or ....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted July 30, 2014 Share Posted July 30, 2014 ..........offered Johnny one of his Cured Meat Pies (CMP) which he regularly buys at Turbo's Roadside Emporium (TRE) which was a galvanised iron shed with an ice cream dish for the money. Turbo had found the pies lasted about two weeks on the shelf without any serious complaints, and it was a great way to get rid of possum meat, or ....... ..... other offal. "In true aeronautical fashion, one is getting rather turned on by the liberal use of acronyms" said JC, who looked like he had just overdosed on Viagra, "So while one has a quick strum of one's guitar shaped lute, please follow one's instructions &, unless we can get them cheaper by sailing to New Zuland tomorrow, go get a gross of those CMP's from the TRE (but check the UBD's) and give them to chef to serve for TEA in one's stateroom (one lives on one's yacht, don't ya know, so one must be rolling in it). Then ask Dangerous Deborah (with the double D's) to have another shave and an APC before she gets in the RAZZ & joins one in one's SPA for a QF before we ............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted July 31, 2014 Share Posted July 31, 2014 .........leave the yacht." Turbo really wasn't a social climbing person, and had become sympathetic to the poor rich aircraft owners who were having trouble with their engines, so he left his beach house (pictured), and put together a team of engine technologists who had extensive experience in issue diagnosis of Holden Engines, quality analysis, fault diagnosis and rectifications, as well as being highly resourceful, self-motivated, team players, and glass half full guys. Turbo has made a short promotional video which gives some of their history, and their skills (for example at 13:40 we see the insulated coil method of boosting spark), and he is hoping that with his team, engine troubles will soon be a thing of the past, and ......... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=htQjF4MIUwM Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted July 31, 2014 Share Posted July 31, 2014 .........leave the yacht."Turbo really wasn't a social climbing person, and had become sympathetic to the poor rich aircraft owners who were having trouble with their engines, so he left his beach house (pictured), and put together a team of engine technologists who had extensive experience in issue diagnosis of Holden Engines, quality analysis, fault diagnosis and rectifications, as well as being highly resourceful, self-motivated, team players, and glass half full guys. Turbo has made a short promotional video which gives some of their history, and their skills (for example at 13:40 we see the insulated coil method of boosting spark), and he is hoping that with his team, engine troubles will soon be a thing of the past, and ......... ........ as a result, Turbo's video has become the reference bible for the Aircraft Industry, it has added 45 minutes to the life of Turbo's own outboards between rebuilds, Quaintarse have given an undertaking to use a dubbed version of the video as worker ingenuity training and daily inspiration when they transfer their engine maintenance operation to NE Afghanistan, the AOC have purchased the rights ahead of the next 'Lympic Games, and the video has now been licenced to all TAFE colleges and universities in the southern hemisphere. "Glass half full?" reflected Tink "Mine overfloweth mate, I've made a motza, and as a result I have retained Julia's builders to do an extension on the beach house so that it will have some glass in the windows and ............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted July 31, 2014 Share Posted July 31, 2014 .............a bridge out to it so he can get there without having to swim with his holiday shirts and toiletries between his teeth, and......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted July 31, 2014 Share Posted July 31, 2014 .............a bridge out to it so he can get there without having to swim with his holiday shirts and toiletries between his teeth, and......... .... this proved that Turbo is losing it (again) as he always swam to his beach house when it was possible to just walk there from where the bloke is standing on the right hand side. "For some reason he seems to just like holding his toiletries in his mouth" said one observer "Which is apparently a bit of a Sunset Boulevard/Corvette owner "thing" at the moment" The Magnifficentti Moderattit Splendifferoci thought that there was incriminating evidence in that photo of Tink's beach house and have blown-up (AvRef) a high resolution version which when enhanced, showed a set of fingers poking out of the lattice of the door on the 2nd floor. The MMS referred the matter to Inspector Nobu who issued the following statement. "G'day again, you NES wankers." said Inspector Nobu while wearing his RMW moleskins. "It's the Aussie Nob here, mates. I'm sure that you will be wlapped to know that I have been lepatliated and given this glouse job as a boss of the warrapers back home, and after those MMS dlongoes found those fingers in the picy, we examined that ratice and found that Madge and Ida (both members of the Cootamundla CWA) had been implisoned there as Turbo's sex-sraves, .......... however after a few months they had to get a boy in each week because Turbo wasn't able to keep up to the job." "A girl has needs" added Ida "And Turbo is a nice enough bloke, but just unable to .................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andys@coffs Posted August 1, 2014 Share Posted August 1, 2014 Understand that WHMP (avref) is not an acceptable term of endearment to start the whole seduction thing....And he can go visit YFRO or any other YS or YB Airfield if he thinks he is getting me in the mood......and in any event why does he talk in codes all the time.....It is cold in Cootamundla at this time of year but not frigidly cold and who ever understood the VBC meant Frigidly cold to those at the BOM and those that wear lotsa gold stripes on their shoulders and...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted August 1, 2014 Share Posted August 1, 2014 ............sip on those poncy Pimms, or.................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted August 1, 2014 Share Posted August 1, 2014 ............sip on those poncy Pimms, or.................. ...........rrrrr, fair go" said Peter Imms "I don't mind Ida sipping on me, but for TurdBoy to call me "poncy" is like Brackish or the 12 Inchers being called ........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted August 1, 2014 Share Posted August 1, 2014 "...........rocket.............." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted August 1, 2014 Share Posted August 1, 2014 "...........rocket.............." ...... or celery, or ............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted August 1, 2014 Share Posted August 1, 2014 ........Proof Reader of Chinese laundry tickets.......................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted August 1, 2014 Share Posted August 1, 2014 ........Proof Reader of Chinese laundry tickets.......................... ...... or the changer of Use-By-Dates on bottles of oysters, or ............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted August 1, 2014 Share Posted August 1, 2014 .............but Turbo had run out of ideas, and sometimes kick starting Ratso's daily brilliance was like trying to start a Morris Minor on a cold morning (aviators can substitute the engine of their choice so we don't upset Harriet). "What goes with oysters>" he thought, but................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted August 1, 2014 Share Posted August 1, 2014 .............but Turbo had run out of ideas, and sometimes kick starting Ratso's daily brilliance was like trying to start a Morris Minor on a cold morning (aviators can substitute the engine of their choice so we don't upset Harriet). "What goes with oysters>" he thought, but................. ...... had obviously never had a crook one, as the effect from a single bung mollusc can cause an eruption that even Andys@sthgrafton would be proud of, for ........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted August 1, 2014 Share Posted August 1, 2014 .....one day Ratso had been conned into attending a local horse show, and becoming bored had rummaged in the back of the Rolls and found his wicker picnic basket from the previous weekend, in which there was a jar of oysters. With a gleam in his eye he quietly sidled up to a horse stall and started feeding the oysters to a grey mare, leaving the stall door ajar....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted August 1, 2014 Share Posted August 1, 2014 .....one day Ratso had been conned into attending a local horse show, and becoming bored had rummaged in the back of the Rolls and found his wicker picnic basket from the previous weekend, in which there was a jar of oysters. With a gleam in his eye he quietly sidled up to a horse stall and started feeding the oysters to a grey mare, leaving the stall door ajar....... .......... the lovely grey mare put its head down and nuzzled the lovable rodent with the bottle of oysters and they were set to be friends for life, until there was a rumbling in the lovely grey mares intestines (which on a horse are 300 yards long), and the mare looked up with a ............. A LOVELY IMAGE OF RODENT AND GEE-GEE HOWEVER EXPERIENCED NES READERS JUST KNOW THAT THIS IS WHERE THE PONY WILL END UP DEPOSITING HIS CROOK OYSTERS (WHICH IS STILL MUCH BETTER THAN FILLING A HAT). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted August 1, 2014 Share Posted August 1, 2014 ........startled expression, let go a horrendous wind gradient (esoteric avref), and headed straight for the President's Tent, where..................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted August 1, 2014 Share Posted August 1, 2014 ........startled expression, let go a horrendous wind gradient (esoteric avref), and headed straight for the President's Tent, where..................... ....... CASA had him bent over ....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andys@coffs Posted August 1, 2014 Share Posted August 1, 2014 and pointing exactly away from the tent fan....after all it was F'NQ and a tent without a fan is considered a form of torture........and speaking of torture..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted August 1, 2014 Share Posted August 1, 2014 ........ "And speaking of torture"..... ...... said Ida, "While Turbo has been very active here on the NES, let me tell you that he hasn't been too active where it matters with me, why he ............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted August 1, 2014 Share Posted August 1, 2014 .....but Turbo had good reason, she wasn't called Ida Down for nothing, and......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob Llewellyn Posted August 2, 2014 Share Posted August 2, 2014 .....but Turbo had good reason, she wasn't called Ida Down for nothing, and......... in fact, Ida and Madge had been up to something between themselves to while away the Turbo-less hours... meantime Ratso had bought a collection of cheap DVD filth on Ebay, and was getting hot and sweaty just Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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