The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

......lurched down the street ahead of all the other cars. It was quickly at the town limits and Loxie applied the brakes which as everyone who has driven one knows is where Morris Garage got the name Minor from. Two towns latter the Morris Minor came to a stop. Loxie was shaking; he knew he should have fitted the siren and lights from the Dennis. Four minutes later Constable .......................

[Captain]

...... Doubtfire (her mates call her "Unstable Missfire") pulled up in a Police promotional Morris Major that was fitted with the latest 3-bearing 1800 cc engine, (which is about as advanced as British Lay-land ever got) and which was converted by the WW PCYC to have a S/H Waggott cam and the very latest in twin 1 1/2" SUs, plus a good dose of ......

Edited July 20, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

...........Redex in the guts, this was claimed to extend rings and bearings change-over from 850 miles to over 1400 miles, although no one had supplied any proof, and on the Redex around Australia trials it should have been not surprise that Tail End Charlie was a Simsmetal truck. The Morris Major was aptly named because like its military equivalent it did a lot of pig rooting before take off, made a lot of noise but not much speed, and needed a drink at every stop, as well as ..............

[Captain]

..... having a small back seat, which limited Doubtfire's ability to .....

[turboplanner]

....use her weapons or ..................

[CT9000]

......load the speed camera equipment ( sorry road safety equipment ) .......

[turboplanner]

....; CT knew this from an experience on the highway near Darraweit Guim. He'd been cruising along in the BM listening to Pink on the hi fi surround sound when blue and red lights started flashing behind him.

A very aggressive siren started and this Cop, who, he accidentally noticed was a shapely blonde minced towards him. He decided to try diplomacy and managed to get out "Nice a....." before she hit him across the nose and he realised that her belt camera was recording him, but not her, and ............

[Captain]

.... that is the very moment that their eyes met, their hands both went-the-grope and they both, as one, bemoaned the fact that the Commonwealth Games stadiums/stadia are no longer to be constructed in DG, CTs contract has been wiped to house all the athletes in old covid hostels, and no longer will CT have the gig to fire the burning arrow that ......

Edited July 21, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

..........was going to fly across the stadium and land on Mount Bunny where Guimmers had been tragging dry logs with their John Deeres for 18 months. It was said that the fire would be seen from Melbourne, and then some idiot changed Melbourne's name to Naarm, an Icelandic name and nobody could find............... 

[Captain]

..... suitable leaves for an Icelandic smoking ceremony (although bull did suggest Craven A rollies, but that was .....

 

[turboplanner]

.....put down as a typical Queenslatassie trick, and finally some leaves were flown in from Norway which everyone agreed was "near enough" and they were lit by a Bic lighter from Clichy, Hauts-de-Seine, and the mud they daubed on came from Lourdes, and the mats had been bought by Turbo from a stall in Tijuana, Mexico on the recent trip.

 

Chairman Dan endorsed this ceremony as "truly representative of all the countries in the Commonwealth", someone yelled out "BS" with a bull accent, and Chairman Dan snapped back "I'm not here to discuss that one way or the other" and the press packed up their cameras and departed.

 

All that was left was ............

[Captain]

..... a little hottie from the Turbine Media Conglomerate, and her cameraman/cum makeup artist.

 

bull made his move, as he was getting sick of the same old coffee every night.

 

bull ran a comb through his Californian Poppy, cleaned his teeth with his hanky and said in his coolest & sexiest voice "would you like to see my scar? ......... and what sort of camera do you use for your ........

[turboplanner]

.......after hours work.

Paisley was a blonde and had misheard him.

What sort of car is it? she said, sounding quite interested.

"Bentley Convertible" replied bull, and showed her his.

It was still in the same conditionas it was when it crossed the line that fateful day when bull won the Targa.......which he then mentioned.

She was his new besty at that point.

"Mr Turbine gives us all Red Corvette Sports Cars" she gushed "and Red eletric Drifters, but they don't go very far and............"

[Captain]

..... you have the advantage, dear bull, of being a real man's man in a bent Bentley that won the Targa, so let's go down ....

[turboplanner]

.........and her voice trailed away. She had seen CT in his RMWs, tight jeans, rolling hips, checked shirt with two buttons undone, Akubra set back at just the right angle, but above all, in the crook of his arm was a Sako 222 blued walnut with a Tasco scope and Laser TruSet. (why the press called them 'guns' was a mystery).

 

bull was left with a crumpled mudguard.

 

To make matters worse, CT had just stepped out of an electric Drifter BB (Big Battery - range 6 Nm),

and ....................

 

[Captain]

.... the size of that battery plus the sympathetic light on CT's moleskins made it look like he had a huge

.....

[bull]

21 hours ago, Captain said:

.... the size of that battery plus the sympathetic light on CT's moleskins made it look like he had a huge

.....

..............set of..............

[turboplanner]

.....golf clubs in the Drifter, but it was only.....................

[Captain]

21 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....golf clubs in the Drifter, but it was only.....................

.... that CT was pleased to see her (or him ...... NTTIAWWT), and that continued on to were CT made a real CT of himself, by ......

 

Your beloved Cappy is presently in Nova Scotia teaching the Jedi arts to the Canadian military and lecturing on Recreational Aviation Law. When Cappy saw the below in the BLB, it was just like the BOB in Baylis St, but without Ahlox's crude, & lewd, attention seeking antics. 

Edited July 23, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

..............taking Paisley back to his E-DrifterBB to "Teach her how to fly. (He didn't tell he he only ever flew it on Autonomous/Siri) Paisley.........................

 

[NES readers will be pleasantly surprised that Cappy is teaching Recreational Aviation Law because Turbo had never seen anyone do it or for that matter realise it existed.

By a strange coincidence Turbo has been to the Blue Lobster Bar, when he had to drop in to NS as the Jetsetters call it, to fix a loose turbine blade in the Challenger. An old Nova Scotian who'd spent too much time up on the fur line tried to chat him up, but that's another story.]

Edited July 23, 2023 by turboplanner

[onetrack]

....sighted the Drifter and stopped in her tracks. "You aren't going to tell me you actually get airborne in that thing?", she said in alarm (noting the flapping wing fabric and the odd piece of bent tubing - all mostly caused by stray bullets - however, some were due to "interaction" with terrain and vegetation).

 

"I not only fly this thing capably and with aplomb", stated CT, drawing himself up to his full 165cm height. "I also shoot ferals from the cockpit, and my record is..........

[Captain]

..... 15, when a gaggle of Houzoes came up to the sacred 5 rivers looking to plant the seeds for an unauthorized low cost housing development, without the prior approval of the DG Development Corporation ..... who play for keeps.

 

I took their flanelette shirts as trophies and used them to .....

Edited July 23, 2023 by Captain

[bull]

2 hours ago, Captain said:

..... 15, when a gaggle of Houzoes came up to the sacred 5 rivers looking to plant the seeds for an unauthorized low cost housing development, without the prior approval of the DG Development Corporation ..... who play for keeps.

 

I took their flannelette shirts as trophies and used them to .....

....recover the fuselage of the..................

[Captain]

1 hour ago, bull said:

....recover the fuselage of the..................

..... A380 that I bought cheap after it scraped its bum landing at DG International. Now it looks like the white trash working class equivalent of that crass red Qantas Jumbo that was painted in the colours of our Aboriginal brothers, who, by the way, have submitted a claim for my joint & my rainbow bunnies, plus for the 5 rivers and the rainbow carp that .......

Edited July 23, 2023 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.............dates back to the rainbow period before that Craptain Crook stuffed it all up for us Bros and in the dreamtine when the great Ngulla was walking along Collins St Narm [Melbourne], and he said to himself "I'm hungry" (There was no one else around to tell him at that time) and he kept walking to the north but couldn't see any food, and then he saw a big airport with small furry creatures running around their white tails bobbing. He unleashed a spear, and by a miracle it hit one. He named these animals "RABBITS" and then he walked ..................