The Never Ending Story

[CT9000]

......not safe being anywhere near an angry wombat.....

[Captain]

44 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

...and looking around, ran up the first thing he saw which was Loxy’s leg. Ahlocks.........

..... initially tried to reject the feeling, but found that while somewhat reviled by the notion, he enjoyed the pain as the wombat used his large claws and considerable weight to ......

[turboplanner]

......wrench the two ...................................

[Captain]

21 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......wrench the two ...................................

.... of them from under Loxie's .....

[turboplanner]

.....secret stash.

Loxy cold be very mean; and he stepped on the wombat's front leg, grabbed his hind leg and flung him onto the rail line.

A train was coming.

The wombat was clearly winded.

Loxy wasn't going to help or.........................

 

 

[CT9000]

......do anything at all to help the poor train as it approached the even more agitated wombat. We all know what will happen to the train when they meet, angry wombats are not to be messed with...... 

[turboplanner]

......but the driver of this train was Casey Jones.

Throwing on more coal and turning on the blowers, he would the steam taps wide open. Not Many people know that it was Casey Jones that invented the term WOT from the way the mouths of the stem taps widened at WOT, or whatever it was called before he called it WOT.

 

When he blew the screaming whistle the wombat faltered; it was louder than a Stuka [avref] and had scared off many a Kenworth driver and those people usually don't give way to ANYONE.

 

The wombat straddled the railway tracks facing up to Jones, who threw anothe dozen shovels of coal in and oiled the wheel bearings to see if that would help.

 

Tre train got closer .....................

 

 

[CT9000]

......then the driver remembered the time he hit a wombat  with a car, it was the same as hitting a rock and wasn't even angry but wrote the car off just the same. Rocks can derail trains......

[turboplanner]

.......and this was a big wombat.

Casey yanked down on the rope and a bellow rang out down the line. The wombat took off like a Bondi Tram - straight down the line.

Wombats can run as fast as a Cheetah and this one had had the crap scared out of it, but Casey was closing fast. He lowered the cow catcher and ....................

[CT9000]

.....prepared for impact as the wombat ran head down arse up straight at the train.....

[bull]

2 hours ago, CT9000 said:

.....prepared for impact as the wombat ran head down arse up straight at the train.....

.....and totally missed the tram and collided with CT on his posty bike as he went down the shop for a bottle of milk. Now that same milk was all over his............

[Captain]

4 hours ago, bull said:

.....and totally missed the tram and collided with CT on his posty bike as he went down the shop for a bottle of milk. Now that same milk was all over his............

.... person, and his posty bike, which was an early model designed and developed by the Turbine Motor Bicycle Corporation before they did their deal to sell the design to the fledgling Honda Motors (in one of his few business errors Turbs was heard to say "The post office will never buy bikes to deliver the mail, so we may as well flick this horizontal single piston, 4 stroke, step-thru design, even at a huge loss"). The design was therefore subject to .....

Edited January 24 by Captain

[turboplanner]

..........modest Royalties set when Soichiro Honda was building them part time in Yammamoto, and left a legacy for young builders which allowed them to design bike with what became known as the Posty Motor.

Like the invention of the wheel, everything got to the WF threads as an example of how to build a cheap engine for the Jab LSA55, and eventually someone suggested the Posty Bike engne because there were 356 million world wide, all still running after 45 years service, and it sparked some of the longest threads in the history of the internet; 17 in total as some of the posters who had read the early posts, but hadn't realised they could post on them invented their own. At the end of all the posts the results where inconclusive because the subject matter had switched to cow's milk, Donald Trump, the possible return of Cocid, buying a metric nut and ...............

[Captain]

.... the fact that the internet word "post" is derived from the TMBC patent for his Posty Bike and therefore attracts a great deal of annual revenue because Turbo recovered his crappy decision about the bike, by licensing the word to Marky Mark Z and more lately to Elon at X, where .....

[turboplanner]

.....it’s bringing in millions each day.

Turbo also reserved P$ssed to make Royalties off Cappy but it has been slow going.

So .......

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....it’s bringing in millions each day.

Turbo also reserved P$ssed to make Royalties off Cappy but it has been slow going.

So .......

...

 

 Turdo went to the next best thing, which, with Crappy, was .....

[turboplanner]

....."woke" and immediately raked in $27 million in the first week, so he ................

[Captain]

32 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....."woke" and immediately raked in $27 million in the first week, so he ................

.... sent Crappy a 20% commission and said "Keep those statements and actions coming, son, and then .....

[onetrack]

.......suddenly, a very, very agitated wombat re-appeared, and this time it was making straight for the main doors of Darraweit Guim International Airport, causing a great deal of consternation for the owner, CT9000 - who in the finest local DG response to a threat, pulled out his trusty .22 bolt action Brno, aimed at the wombat (who was struggling to see properly due to the milk covering its face), fired, missed, and instead, hit........

[Captain]

..... one of the wombat's little nippers who had just learnt to walk and was at maximum cuteness, so had come along to show her dad how lovely she was. 

 

Some say CT deliberately pulled the shot onto the nipper, yet others claim ....

 

The baby wombat ..... pre the small hole in the front bit.

Edited January 25 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......the nipper flew into the path of the 22, but before long the world's press descended onto DGM asking questions of everyone, like "Is this where all those Cessnas fly?" and "Do you have any photos of the niper alive, because we can't show it like that with its guts hanging out and the blood all over it?"

The Child Protection Society sent a pick up team out after being told a child was at risk, and the Vicpol SWAT Camo Helicopter was sent out to look for the gunman. CT was in the sh..........................

[bull]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

CT was in the sh......................

......it big time this time and started looking for a way out. Meanwhile Cappy started to .............

[turboplanner]

think about what might happen if CT was convicted of animal cruelty and banned from owning an Airport.

If he quietly helped things along a little by leaking to the Newspapers that there was a scandal at DG, and  dropping a few leaflets around saying how he had been an exceptional Airport Director on the Khyber Pass, he might just be able to rake in the money that CT was getting, so he ...................

[Captain]

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

think about what might happen if CT was convicted of animal cruelty and banned from owning an Airport.

If he quietly helped things along a little by leaking to the Newspapers that there was a scandal at DG, and  dropping a few leaflets around saying how he had been an exceptional Airport Director on the Khyber Pass, he might just be able to rake in the money that CT was getting, so he ...................

..... initiated a major publicity blitz with a view to totally discrediting the CT.

 

The main tenets of his push to rubbish that CT of a bloke was "He flies a plastic fantastic, so not really a proper AUF type person (where you need to be grey, stooped, a little bitter and fly 2-stroke rag & tube), he is a member of ISIS & Hamas, plus he voted Yes and is of tribal descent." ........... and that is precisely where he stuffed up, as the Press Conference immediately disolved in mayhem.

 

"That's no good" said one of the reporters "That's a non-event & we can't report that, as those tribal dudes can kill wombats to their heart's content (the little ones always taste the best), turtles, dugongs, puppies, little pussies, baby koalas and ......

Edited January 25 by Captain

[turboplanner]

....baby doves."

This prompted a four hour debate in the local pub between the pro journalists and the ones who could read.

At the end of it they hadn't reached an agreement but realised they would cop it if they went back to work without a story, so they all agreed on the line that we couldn't have members of Isis and Hamas running around with guns so oth that basis the press, quoting police sources who couldn't be named, tipped a bucket on CT which left him with no option but to ............