The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

.........Raj, who had left his Kenworth at Moree and was flying back to India to become a fighter pilot. There were actually 387 others in blue singlets and shorts, all going home to become fighter pilots and there were Kenworths parked up the full length of the Newell and Bruce Highways.

 

And that's not all; all the Roadhouses that served the munchy curry that gave you the runs on a long trips, leading to aboriginal site names being replaced by names like "Whiteass Pass" were gone to fight in the Indian Army.

 

"Walruss Team 6" had been carefully selected, so Cappy and Turbo could be Joint 3 Star Generals, not required on the front line, and The Observation Officer was bull who given a weird looking grey thing and a pair of Chinese binoculars. bull was a natural of course because you only had to look at the dilapidated aircraft he flew to know he could keep anything flying. Sergeant CT was in charge of the Snipers, and RSM One Track was in charge of logistics, transport and purchasing.

 

As WT6 left Australia ..........

Edited May 7 by turboplanner

[Captain]

21 hours ago, turboplanner said:

As WT6 left Australia ........

...... they opened a few boxes in the back of the Herc and realised the dodgy quality of the vehicle spares and the cheap food, all of which were one day off their expiry date ..... including the oysters.

 

And there was sand in all of the boxes, so the RSM was called to the office beside the dunny in the Herc, to .......

[turboplanner]

.....have the equivalent of a Telephone Box comnversation. This was difficult because the civvy OT had been so reliable. Could it be that he had been stitched up?, Could it be that he loaders had filled the boxes with the easily recognisable Kalgoolie sand? Or Could OT have been the victim of fowl play?

As Turbo and Cappt locked OT in the Dunny they both agreed this wasn't like the Khyber which was an ANZAC operation where NZ Bob supplied stores like clockwork, but.........

[onetrack]

.....this time there had been an abject failure in procurement. However as the telephone box conversation proceeded, it was revealed from the box labels, that OT had outsourced the supplies procurement to a little-known company in Kapooka, curiously titled, "Cappys All You Can Eat Pte" - a company with its main office in Singapore, and sourcing its products from a wide range of el-cheapo, dubious street food suppliers based in China. Some of the boxes still had Chinese labelling, such as "Happy Treasure Golden Time Chinese Bao Buns" - all dated pre-COVID.

 

"I can't believe this!" cried Turbo to Cappy. OT was obviously relying on you supplying good tucker with your contract, and you've sub-let the supply to a bunch of street food hawkers in Shenzheng!!"

"What do you think this is going to do to the troops morale, when we get to the Khyber and open the boxes and find this rubbish?"

 

"Well", said Cappy, "I was hoping I was going to be far away when that happened, so I couldn't.................

[bull]

On 08/05/2025 at 9:33 AM, turboplanner said:

.........Raj, who had left his Kenworth at Moree and was flying back to India to become a fighter pilot. There were actually 387 others in blue singlets and shorts, all going home to become fighter pilots and there were Kenworths parked up the full length of the Newell and Bruce Highways.

 

And that's not all; all the Roadhouses that served the munchy curry that gave you the runs on a long trips, leading to aboriginal site names being replaced by names like "Whiteass Pass" were gone to fight in the Indian Army.

 

"Walruss Team 6" had been carefully selected, so Cappy and Turbo could be Joint 3 Star Generals, not required on the front line, and The Observation Officer was bull who given a weird looking grey thing and a pair of Chinese binoculars. bull was a natural of course because you only had to look at the dilapidated aircraft he flew to know he could keep anything flying. Sergeant CT was in charge of the Snipers, and RSM One Track was in charge of logistics, transport and purchasing.

 

As WT6 left Australia ..........

......in a mahindra G8 airvan [long over due avref] and hugged the coast as they flew into the heart of the dragon. Now not everyone knows but WT6 had been trained to do  a very ...............................

Edited Friday at 09:34 AM by bull

[onetrack]

Dear NES'ers, it has come to our attention that some contributors to the NES fail to refresh their web browser, and pick up posts from a week ago, to add their contributions, thus leading to much disconnection and confusion in the story thread.

If this continues to happen, the Moderators need to seriously consider whether those offenders should be sent to an NES re-education camp - or at the very least, sent to a computer training authority to bring them up to speed from 1986 and MS-DOS. This is an issue that demands serious action. Thank you.

[Captain]

16 hours ago, onetrack said:

Dear NES'ers, it has come to our attention that some contributors to the NES fail to refresh their web browser, and pick up posts from a week ago, to add their contributions, thus leading to much disconnection and confusion in the story thread.

If this continues to happen, the Moderators need to seriously consider whether those offenders should be sent to an NES re-education camp - or at the very least, sent to a computer training authority to bring them up to speed from 1986 and MS-DOS. This is an issue that demands serious action. Thank you.

Oh, I knooowww Onesie, I knooowww.

Aren't they terrible?

Something has to be done, and as one of the most active and conservative of this site's Moderratti, rest assured that I will get it sorted.

Those slack "contributors" will feel like the Houthi Rebels while having their Easter baked dinner, when about 1500 missions were about to be flown (avref) against them.

Edited Saturday at 04:32 AM by Captain

[Captain]

On 17/02/2008 at 2:59 PM, Admin said:

He looked out and saw that the aircraft wasn't actually approaching but was at full throttle...was it moving he thought to himself...he couldn't decide and then suddenly saw that someone had placed on his airstrip a...

 

 

..... long grey ....

Edited Saturday at 05:45 AM by Captain

[Captain]

18 hours ago, onetrack said:

Dear NES'ers, it has come to our attention that some contributors to the NES fail to refresh their web browser, and pick up posts from a week ago, to add their contributions, thus leading to much disconnection and confusion in the story thread.

If this continues to happen, the Moderators need to seriously consider whether those offenders should be sent to an NES re-education camp - or at the very least, sent to a computer training authority to bring them up to speed from 1986 and MS-DOS. This is an issue that demands serious action. Thank you.

I support the Singular Root completely on this. 

[turboplanner]

........towell. It used to be white, but it was Cappy's and we know his standard of cleanliness.

Immediately the towell was riddled by Pakistani bullets. This meant that .......

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

........towell. It used to be white, but it was Cappy's and we know his standard of cleanliness.

Immediately the towell was riddled by Pakistani bullets. This meant that .......

.... they might have hit it once via a ricochet, then issued a press release that....

Edited Saturday at 08:26 AM by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......they had eliminated the Great Capitan!; scourge of the Punjab and Khyber Pass!

However, those of us who serve with him know his towell smells like a pack of hyena after they've been feasting on the rotting carcass of an elephant.

 

The towell was still there and it was noted that not one Pakistani or Chinese Aircraft (China was supporting both sides) aircraft flew anywhere near it. Those in the trenches downwind knew why; it was the old Khyber Towell trick and worked ........

[bull]

21 hours ago, onetrack said:

Dear NES'ers, it has come to our attention that some contributors to the NES fail to refresh their web browser, and pick up posts from a week ago, to add their contributions, thus leading to much disconnection and confusion in the story thread.

If this continues to happen, the Moderators need to seriously consider whether those offenders should be sent to an NES re-education camp - or at the very least, sent to a computer training authority to bring them up to speed from 1986 and MS-DOS. This is an issue that demands serious action. Thank you.

............well the moderators can go and get F$%k#d the bloody #$%$%% sort of &^%$$# thats all i have to say about that stated Bull as he walked out and headed to the bar............

[bull]

12 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......they had eliminated the Great Capitan!; scourge of the Punjab and Khyber Pass!

However, those of us who serve with him know his towell smells like a pack of hyena after they've been feasting on the rotting carcass of an elephant.

 

The towell was still there and it was noted that not one Pakistani or Chinese Aircraft (China was supporting both sides) aircraft flew anywhere near it. Those in the trenches downwind knew why; it was the old Khyber Towell trick and worked ........

...every time ,why i,ll tell you a story about the time the towel was used to topple the ..............

[onetrack]

........leader of the Afghan Taliban, as he was leading a charge of suicide bombers up the Pass. Cappy simply flicked his towel and the Taliban leader just fell over like a pole-axed steer, once he got a whiff of it. Once their leader was gone, the suicide bombers fell into disarray and promptly blew each other up.

Of course, Cappy claimed the win as a personal victory, ensuring that the precise details of how he nailed the Taliban leader remained a secret, until Turbo........

 

Edited Saturday at 09:49 AM by onetrack

[Captain]

..... blabbed in the article that he wrote as a tryptic for the Women's Weekly, the Readers Digest and for the Heavy Haulage Monthly magazine, where the ever loyal Turbo argued that ....

[turboplanner]

....of all the equipment in the 908 Kenworth, the most valuable asset was your town.

"Next time you are on the road" he said "and an an NHVR, turns on his little Jabiru flashing light, his little "tick", "Tick", "tick" siren and pulls you over on a crest, just as he gets to thge door wave your towel out the window. You'll never see him again!"

 

Meanwhile down on the India/Pakistan border, 21 bright green turbans appeared above the rocks. One minute they would be facing towards the Indians, next minute facing each other, next minute facing away from the fireground and then back facing the Indians. They only did this once because a P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P-P broke out from Sniper CT, a few unfurles 6 metre green strips of silk floated across the lines and it looked like game, set and match except ...........................

[onetrack]

......there were a few stray rabbits running for their warrens, which CT promptly cursed, as he was sure he was taking out all the Pass rabbits, as well as the turban-wearers. However, no sooner had he reloaded, than he heard........

[CT9000]

...... movement in the grass and saw the pointy ears of a couple of foxes .....

 

 

          Note the grass was not the Griffith NSW type of grass.

[Captain]

32 minutes ago, CT9000 said:

...... movement in the grass and saw the pointy ears of a couple of foxes ....

..... and CT had a quandery about how to kill foxes and cottontails the halal certified way, after he didn't need or want word getting back to OZ, and a Moozy protest at DG International at their ......

[CT9000]

...... failure to understand that hollow point magnums must be the halal way of humane extermination ......

[Captain]

2 hours ago, CT9000 said:

...... failure to understand that hollow point magnums must be the halal way of humane extermination ......

....which reminds Cappy to tell NESers about the little known fact that Turbo is an ex Terminator, who was the inspiration for Arnold's character, although Arny made him much more friendly in the movie.

 

Turbo also had 2 sidekicks in real life. Their names were Hal and Al, so this is all quite a coincidence, that ..... 

[turboplanner]

......Hal amd Al ere somewhere on the subcontinent.

They had been recruited by the Most Excellent Division of King Charles and Company of Bombay. They were embedded in the Indian SOS as chicken stranglers,  and were quietly popping off Pakistanis on the Northwest Face and leaving no trace ...............

[Captain]

4 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......Hal amd Al ere somewhere on the subcontinent.

They had been recruited by the Most Excellent Division of King Charles and Company of Bombay. They were embedded in the Indian SOS as chicken stranglers,  and were quietly popping off Pakistanis on the Northwest Face and leaving no trace ...............

....except for the poo stains on the rocks.

 

Hal, in particular, was a ....

[Captain]

9 hours ago, Captain said:

....which reminds Cappy to tell NESers about the little known fact that Turbo is an ex Terminator, who was the inspiration for Arnold's character, although Arny made him much more friendly in the movie.

Here, dear NESers, is my most prized possession. It is the original 3D scan that I did of Turbo in preparation for dressing Arny up for his little movie.

 

Turbo has always had beautiful eyes.

Edited Sunday at 06:04 PM by Captain