The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

........held his nose.

Cappy realised he should have changed his ...................

[Captain]

..... avatar again a couple of weeks ago, just like Tubb should have changed his .....

[onetrack]

.....sheets, because the stains on them were becoming too large, and more frequent. But Turbo wasn't concentrating on mundane things like when the sheets needed to be changed, he was preoccupied with producing a substantially more attractive steak knife, after he'd seen the massive demand for the cheap Chinese steak knives offered during the scam sessions.

 

"Can you imagine what it would be like, to produce a new design of steak knife that everyone just clamoured to own?", he said to OT. "You would become a global sensation, and a multi-multi-billionaire overnight! We could even start supplying steak knives to the Chinese! Imagine that? A country where you hardly ever see a steak, yet they all want a Turbine Industries steak knife!"

 

"These TI steak knives will outsell Victorinox Swiss Army Knives! You'll be able to use them to open cans, smash windows to escape burning wrecks (including aircraft!) - (long-overdue avref), cut through steel panels and partitions with ease, extract splinters with them, and even surgeons will be chasing after them, for surgical procedures! They will never go blunt, the warranty will be a lifetime warranty, and they'll ......

[turboplanner]

.... be perfect for fighting off Sudanese machete gangs.The tag line could be “That’s not a knife; THIS is a knife” said Turbo with an original thought.......

[onetrack]

....as he became a little animated, and started to describe the various sizes of TI steak knives that he would make available. "There'll be miniature ones for the collectors to go with the Coles Little Shop mini's!", he exclaimed.

 

"Then there'll be the smaller sizes for those with delicate appetites. Then, we'll move right through the range, to sizes that will be a match for any giant Texan steak! Finally, we'll have the top-of-the-wozza steak knife, guaranteed to put the fear of God into any machete-wielding thug, and make them .......

 

 

(And here, dear NES readers, we have Turbo's girlfriend wielding a top-of-the-wozza TI knife, and showing machete-wielding thugs, just what she's carrying!)

 

[Captain]

50 minutes ago, onetrack said:

(And here, dear NES readers, we have Turbo's girlfriend wielding a top-of-the-wozza TI knife, and showing machete-wielding thugs, just what she's carrying!)

And after being with Turbs for a couple of years, she needed to compensate.

[Captain]

51 minutes ago, onetrack said:

....as he became a little animated, and started to describe the various sizes of TI steak knives that he would make available. "There'll be miniature ones for the collectors to go with the Coles Little Shop mini's!", he exclaimed.

 

"Then there'll be the smaller sizes for those with delicate appetites. Then, we'll move right through the range, to sizes that will be a match for any giant Texan steak! Finally, we'll have the top-of-the-wozza steak knife, guaranteed to put the fear of God into any machete-wielding thug, and make them .......

.... regroup near Flinders St station where there are definitely no gangs (just ask Dan), but the re-equipment of those gangs with bigger knives made the Russians in Ukraine look like amateurskis and they ......

[bull]

where suddenly coming to the realiseation that they had been conned by Turdby steak knives and the cheap steal he had used was from all the wrecks on the sand islands of Bass Straight, and was rusting before being sold.  Well the furor was so loud that.................

[Captain]

2 hours ago, bull said:

...... furor ......

And so Cappy leapt to bull's defense when the Moderatti came hunting for him.

 

"NO" said Cappy both loudly & defensively "bull is not referring to that Austrian nazi bloke, and bull should not be censured.

[turboplanner]

Turbo was unable to assist Cappy, and had to be helped to a chair in shock after reading that hideous word used by Hitler, the scourge of Europe, who would .........

[bull]

Never have used Bass straight Turdbuy steel to make steakknives, and was so irate that his hero that he had      [Cappy getting his membership tattoo]  loved and copied since the day he poured metho down the ants nest, could be so missunderstood,that he...............                                                                                                   [

Edited March 6, 2022 by bull

[Captain]

1 hour ago, bull said:

could be so missunderstood,that he..........

...... just decided to come clean to his best mate, Cappy.

 

"Just call me Dolph" said Turdy "And now that I have admitted it under the 75 year statute of limiations, I am going to grow my mustache back and Mavis can change her name back to Eva"

 

This news caused consternation (and the opposite of constipation) in the ......

Edited March 6, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......Kremlin where the people were starting to get heartily sick of Putin disregarding their advice.

"We know he's the son of that other despot because every time he tries to grow a moustache it never grows outside the shade of his nose, and the last thing we need is another one right now" said one senior KGB Operative, but he'd no sooner said it than he was off to Siberia with the speed of a 60 km column of Russian tanks, and ......

[Captain]

.... which was faster than the latest version of the Thrusterski or Tyroski, which in Russia is ......

Edited March 6, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......capable of 41 kts at WOT with a stalling speed of 40 kts, which required deft handling of the controls. One of the most successful pilots of this intriguing aircraft is Vladimir Putin's son, Ras Putin, who has long flowing hair and ..................

[onetrack]

.....who obtained his flying lessons from Cappys Great Great Great Great Grandfather, Capt Aloysuis Broderick Claiborne Cook, RFC, DFC and Bar - a distinguished fighter pilot from 1916 to 1918, with a tally of no less than 14 enemy aircraft kills.

 

Of course, Capt A. B. C. Cook was extremely old when he taught Ras, but age didn't bother him - no, sirreee! - he just kept up the training syllabus regardless, even though his hearing was shot, his eyesight was extremely poor - and he needed to be helped in and out of the cockpit.

 

Of course, the hearing loss and poor eyesight of Capt A.B.C. Cook did lead to a number of confusing flying lessons for Ras - particularly when Capt A.B.C. Cook forgot what lesson they were supposed to be on, and what the call sign of the aircraft was, and he sometimes even forgot who Ras was.

 

But regardless, Ras coped with the Captains infirmities with good grace and patience, and the day came when the Captain agreed he was finally ready to go solo.

 

Ras climbed into the Sopwith, but as he went to.............

[bull]

.....start it,  he fell out of bed and hurt his elbow. But salvation was at hand as the latest reports coming in are that a lone ww2  era Japanese fighter had decimated a whole battalion of 24 helicopters and shot down 4 migs and had landed to refuel .  Our reporters on the ground can not get close enough to identify the pilot or his aircraft but it is believed to be a zero [this is a photo taken of the the spook of Ukraine,s fighter .   ps, The pilot is believed to be  the only character of the fictional NES that has starred in many many post without actually holding a real profile of the NES ? is that even legal??

....................Well  Bloody hell said Turdboy ,just what i need  now old................

Edited March 7, 2022 by bull

[turboplanner]

......Nob to come out of the woodwork in his Zero and save the day in Ukraine with machine gun fire and the occasional ......

[onetrack]

.....Kamikaze attack - which he always pulls out of at the last minute, because Nob was always a poor supporter of Kamikaze attacks, thanks to his basically cowardly nature, and his well-hidden dislike of the Emperor.

However, in the Ukraine, the Emperor didn't matter, and the Kamikaze approach worked every time, as the Rooskies scattered like frightened rabbits, and Nob pulled out of his Kamikaze dive, right at the last second, laughing in maniacal glee at the........

[Captain]

On 08/03/2022 at 9:28 AM, onetrack said:

Kamikaze attack - which he always pulls out of at the last minute,

As Nobu is a good Catholic, after converting while a POW in Cowla.

 

On 08/03/2022 at 9:28 AM, onetrack said:

 

However, in the Ukraine, the Emperor didn't matter, and the Kamikaze approach worked every time, as the Rooskies scattered like frightened rabbits, and Nob pulled out of his Kamikaze dive, right at the last second, laughing in maniacal glee at the........

.....way the Luskies lan for the .......

[turboplanner]

.........booze at the pubs as patrons scattered in all directions cursing Putin, but in a soft voice because no one wanted the 15 year prison sentence for dissing the little prick.

For NES readers a little confused, the Luskies Ian Clan started up in WW2 when the British and Russians were allies and Ian McLachlan, a Scot went to Russia to teach their Air Force Pilots to fly Spitfars and left fifteen sons in Minsky, where the sons ................

[Captain]

On 09/03/2022 at 6:23 PM, turboplanner said:

.........booze at the pubs as patrons scattered in all directions cursing Putin, but in a soft voice because no one wanted the 15 year prison sentence for dissing the little prick.

For NES readers a little confused, the Luskies Ian Clan started up in WW2 when the British and Russians were allies and Ian McLachlan, a Scot went to Russia to teach their Air Force Pilots to fly Spitfars and left fifteen sons in Minsky, where the sons ................

........ became the inspiration for the film "The Sons of Katie Elder". which was titled "The сын of Katerina Elderovskia" and where Vlady Putin played the part of John Wayne, as they were the same height ............ according to Vlad's screen Bio, even though Vlad was really 3ft 10" and had much bigger man-boobs than John.

 

"15 years in prisonski would be an honourski", said bull, who is of Russian heritage going all the way back to the Egyptian members of bull's family who were hidden in the bull russia's when the pharos came looking for ..........

 

THAT IS VLAD 2ND FROM RIGHT, SURROUNDED BY OLIGACHS WHO

ARE ABOUT TO CHOP OFF HIS TINY LITTLE STIPEND UNLESS HE GETS

THE SANCTIONS REMOVED.

Edited March 10, 2022 by Captain

[bull]

1 hour ago, Captain said:

"15 years in prisonski would be an honourski", said bull, who is of Russian heritage going all the way back to the Egyptian members of bull's family who were hidden in the bull russia's when the pharos came looking for ..........

gold to sell to the ...................

[turboplanner]

..........Turbinians who needed it to build their chariots.

Not many people know the wheel was invented by a Turbinian, Jehova Turbine who made one out of plywood but it kept getting wet and spreading, so he cast chariot wheels from gold, and they helped win wars by moving troops fast. At this stage the horse hadn't been invented (today it would have been rejected because it was unable to meet current CO2 emission standards), so the chariot were pulled by captive slaves from the Cook Islands, where ..........................

[onetrack]

......they were found to be the most efficient slaves, as regards power, food economy, and low emissions (Cook Islanders rarely fart with exertion, a little-known interesting health fact).

The powerful build of the Cook Islanders was a major factor in the choice of slaves by the Turbinians - but there was also another important factor involved in the Turbinians utilising Cook Islanders - and that factor was - easy access to a well-known tax haven, with lax banking regulations.

This was a very important consideration for the Turbinians, as they had massive wealth and tax problems, that they needed to solve. So it was a simple enough exercise for them to fill the empty returning slave ships with excess Turbinian gold, and store that gold in the Cook Islands banks, where it immediately became tax-free. This system worked wonderfully, until the day that......