PA.

At least you managed to pass time. Sorry to dump that on you.

I wanted to be a Plumber, turned out it was just a pipe dream.

Is this better? The other night I meet a girl at a night club. We got on well so we went for a walk in the park. It was foggy and she said "I don't like this, it's scary and creepy." I replied "It's OK for you, I have to walk out of here on my own."

Go for a fly and note where there are any possible private strips then drive out and see the owners.

I bought a new phone online from Malaysia. I put into Flight Mode three weeks ago and I haven't been able to find since.

Saw it being towed this morning at the airport behind a four wheel drive. All of a sudden I had this desire for a Violet Crumble.

A Spanish crew did. Click here carefully.

Mike will be happy it wasn't one of his.

Shoot for the stars.

Using Stealth technologies.

Found!

Yes I know it is a A380.

The last kid wasn't the right caliber for the job.

2000m, maybe less if you don't want to use it again.

Last February, 500 tonnes of Chinese gold disappeared. MH370 had 50 empty passenger seats yet it boarded 5 passengers from the standby list to make up for the 5 that didn't turn up. So, 50 passengers + luggage = 5000kg approx. That weight in gold is $220m USD. $220m USD would fund a lot of terrorist activities or a successful venture for organized crime.

Later the chicken farmer went to a local bar.... Sat next to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne.. The woman perks up and says, 'How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!' 'What a coincidence' the farmer says. 'This is a special day for me.... I'm celebrating' 'This is a special day for me too, I'm also celebrating!' says the woman. 'What a coincidence!' says the farmer! As they clinked glasses the man asked, 'What are you celebrating?'... 'My husband and I have been trying to have a child and today my gynecologist told me that I am pregnant!' 'What a coincidence,' says the man. 'I'm a chicken farmer and for years all of my hens were infertile, but today they are all laying fertilized eggs.' 'That's great!' says the woman. 'How did your chickens become fertile?' 'I used a new rooster,' he replied. The woman smiled and said, 'What a coincidence.'

This farmer has about 500 hens, but no rooster, and he wants chicks badly. So, he goes down the road to the next farm and asks if they have a rooster that they would sell. The other farmer says, 'Yes, I've got this great rooster, named Kenny. He'll service every chicken you've got, no problem.' Trouble is, Kenny the rooster costs $3,000, a lot of money, but the Farmer decides he'd be worth it. So, he buys Kenny. The farmer takes Kenny home and sets him down in the barnyard, but first he gave the rooster a pep talk. 'I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here, and you cost me a lot of money. Consequently, I'll need you to do a good job. So, take your time and have some fun,' the farmer said, with a chuckle. Kenny seems to understand, so the farmer points toward the hen house and Kenny takes off like a shot. WHAM! Kenny nails every hen in the hen house - three or four times, and the farmer is really shocked. After that, the farmer hears a commotion in the duck pen and, sure enough, Kenny is in there. Later, the farmer sees Kenny after a flock of geese down by the lake. Once again - WHAM! - All the geese get it. By sunset he sees Kenny out in the fields chasing quail and pheasants. The farmer is distraught and worried that his expensive rooster won't even last the night. Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next morning to find Kenny on his back out in the middle of the yard, mouth open, tongue hanging out and both feet sticking straight up in the air with Buzzards circling overhead. The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colourful and expensive animal, shakes his head and says, 'Oh, Kenny, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself.' Kenny slowly opens one eye, nods toward the buzzards circling in the sky above and says, 'Shut it, you're scarin the fanny away.

The plane has two engines each driving a shaft to a propeller.

I promise I will lust you in the morning. Can't see that having the desired effect.

A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up tothe pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, I would like to buy some cyanide. ' The pharmacist asked, 'Why in the world do you need cyanide?' The lady replied, 'I need it to poison my husband.' The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, 'Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen. Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!' The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, 'You didn't tell me you had a prescription.'

Just a Victory Roll.

Sunrise on the way to Murray Bridge. Looking down on the world.

Careful with your nuts.

Why, it hasn't stopped the rest of us? Welcome aboard.