PA.

Who won the Formula 1 World Championship in 1975?

If a wife had a lifetime guarantee 50% of 'em would be returned as faulty.

No, Cockcroft is my mum's side of the tree. I'm Peter Arnold or PA to friends and Pa to my Grandson.

Is it hunting season?

My Great Uncle in 1932 created a machine to split the atom. Wonder what he would think of a flying reactor? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/John_Cockcroft

An 80 year old Irishman goes to the doctor for a check up. The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks,' how do you stay in such great physical condition?' I'm Irish and I am a golfer,' says the old guy, 'and that's why I'm in such good shape. I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways. I have a mug of Guinness, and all is well.' 'Well' says the doctor, 'I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your Father when he died?' 'Who said my Father's dead?' The doctor is amazed. 'You mean you're 80 years old and your Father's still alive. How old is he?' 'He's 100 years old,' says the Old Irish golfer. 'In fact he golfed with me this morning, and then we went to the topless beach for a walk and had a little Guinness and that's why he's still alive. He's Irish and he's a golfer, too.' 'Well,' the doctor says, 'that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it than that. How about your Father's Father? How old was he when he died?' 'Who said my Grandfather is dead?' Stunned, the doctor asks, 'you mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather is still living! Incredible, how old is he?' 'He's 118 years old,' says the Old Irish golfer. The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, 'So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?' 'No, Gramps couldn't go this morning because he's getting married today.' At this point the doctor is close to losing it. 'Getting married!! Why would a 118 year old guy want to get married?' 'Who said he wanted to?'

On a tour of Alaska, the Pope took a couple of days off to visit the mountains for some sightseeing. He was cruising along a campground in the Pope-mobile when there was a frantic commotion just at the edge of the woods. A helpless scrawny disheveled Democrat, wearing sandals, shorts, and a "Save the Whales" T-shirt, was struggling frantically, thrashing around and trying to free himself from the jaws of a 10-foot grizzly. As the Pope watched, horrified, a group of Republican loggers came racing up. One quickly fired a 44 magnum into the bear's head, dropping it instantly. The other two reached up and pulled the bleeding semiconscious Democrat from the bear, then threw it onto the bed of their (American made!) pickup truck while the other carefully placed the injured Democrat in the back seat, and have him some much-needed water. As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over. "I give you my blessing for your brave actions!" he told them. "I heard there was a bitter hatred between loggers and environmental activists, but I've now seen with my own eyes that is not true!" As the Pope drove off, one of the loggers asked his buddies, "Who was that guy?" "It was the Pope, you idiot!" another replied. "He's in direct contact with God and has access to all God's wisdom." "Well," the logger said, "he may have access to all God's wisdom, but he sure doesn't know anything about bear hunting. On that note, is the bait holding up OK or do we need to go back to town and grab another one?"

Maybe it's Steve. Scoring 6 Correct: You're doing great! A young and supple mind. 5 Correct: You're still OK: everyone can miss ONE now and then. 4 Correct: You're past your prime, dad. 3 Correct: You're past your prime, grandma. 2 Correct: You really need to see your doctor. 1 Correct: You're probably already being seen by a doctor. 0 Correct: What a pervert!

Studies have shown that recognition is the first thing to go when developing Alzheimer's disease. For this test, go as quickly as you can and make note of the first word that pops into your head. Good luck! How Fast Can You Guess These Short Words You Probably Use Every Day? 1. F__ K 2. PU_S_ 3. S_X 4. P_N_S 5. BOO_S 6. __ NDOM I will report back the correct answers later. (At least if you do have Alzheimer's, you get to hid your own Easter Eggs.)

Looks like an iPad 32gb with 3G is the go. Too expensive for his present, we'll buy him some socks. :)

Sport Pilot's sealed section.

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1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job. 2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh. 3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you. 4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you. 5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each other.

Sure it wasn't the new 300 hp engine you had fitted?

Do you need the 3G iPad or would it be fine to have the standard iPad and the XGPS160 ?

Looking at buying my Son in Law an iPad to use Ozrunways on. Is the iPad mini screen size enough or is the large iPad better? Would amount of memory be acceptable?

Leaves a nasty taste in your mouth, or so I am told.

Spanish Airforce A310 http://www.planespotters.net/Production_List/Airbus/A310/550,T.22-1-Spanish-Air-Force.php

The Space Shuttle flew as experimental aircraft as they had no paying passengers. I remember seeing the sign in the cockpit but didn't take a picture of it.

At breakfast, I asked the wife: “What would you do if I won Lotto?” “I’d take half and leave you” she said. “Great” I said. “Here's $6. I won $12 yesterday! Stay in touch”.

Only because you can't spell Beer.

Video link. https://au.tv.yahoo.com/sunrise/video/watch/25392695/manu-faces-fear-for-charity/ http://bcove.me/b1wfv5w5

Which reminds me of this.

Don't forget to stock up on this.

Effective Immediately: SICK DAYS: We will no longer accept a doctor's statement as proof of sickness. If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work. SURGERY: Operations are now banned. As long as you are an employee here, you need all your organs -- you should not consider removing anything, since we hired you intact. To have something removed constitutes a breach of employment. DRESS CODE: It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing $350 Prada sneakers and carrying a $600 Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore you do not need a raise. PERSONAL DAYS: Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year, which we call "Saturday" and "Sunday". VACATION DAYS: All employees will take their vacation at the same time every year. The vacation days are as follows: Jan. 1, Jan. 26, Apr. 25 & Dec. 25 BEREAVEMENT LEAVE: This is no excuse for missing work. There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or coworkers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements. In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early, provided your share of the work is done. OUT FROM YOUR OWN DEATH: This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require at least two week's notice as it is your duty to train your own replacement. RESTROOM USE: Entirely too much time is being spent in the restroom. In the future, we will follow the practice of going in alphabetical order. For instance, all employees whose names begin with 'A will go from 8:00 to 8:20, employees whose names begin with 'B' will go from 8:20 to 8:40 and so on. If you're unable to go at your allotted time, it will be necessary to wait until the next day when your turn comes again. In extreme emergencies employees may swap their time with a coworker. Both employees' supervisors must approve this exchange in writing, and in advance. LUNCH BREAK: Skinny people get an hour for lunch as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy, normal size people get 30 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure. Fat people get 5 minutes for lunch because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim Fast and take a diet pill. Thank you for your loyalty to our company. We are here to provide a positive employment experience. Have a nice week.