Captain

10 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......come darn heah for a sec so we can have a littke chat." 

Fois always started out being your friend, but lie his women, never finished that way so Cappy selected WOT  bound for Kapooka, Koopacka, Pakooka,......anywhere and .................................

.... ,as a result, landed in PooKacka, where he met up with his old friend from the Gobbledygookup Institute, Missy Higgins, who had just completed successfully setting up a Prime Minister and been awarded with a couple of million smackeroos for her trouble.

"Do you think?" he asked "That you could perhaps ......

On 07/04/2024 at 3:50 PM, turboplanner said:

With the FoI outwitted (or so he thought) he soon had the Bushcaddy  off the ground. noticing that eagle's beak stuck up in the air, the FoI realised he'd seen it before.......in his caravan........he reached for the radio mic .......

..... pushed the clicky button thingy on the side and said, in his best authoritarian and big brave public servant's voice (he had been educated initially at Moorabbin Public, then did the short/compressed course at GobbledyGookup) "I say there, old chap. Will youze please ........

It is little known, by other than those who study the history and details of Australia's early Federation, that the town of Gobbledygook is located partway along the back-road between Southern Cross and Bunbury ....................... since named Gobbledygookup to make it fit in better in WA.

The Gobbledygookup Institute is run by Turbine Elocution & Deportment PLC and is where all budding Politicians and Public Servants must report for a 24-month course, before they are admitted to the Canberra Gravy Train.

Gobbledygookup is therefore also the most boring place on earth .................... and not just because Turbo has his Summer Residence there.

1 hour ago, onetrack said:

.......bureaucratic gobbledegook that all Canberrans speak, then we might be able to understand the points you're trying to make! As it is, we can only..........

.... assume that you must really believe this .....

..... asked the obvious question about an issue that was at the top of everyone's list.

"Are my interpersonal skills up the .....

19 hours ago, turboplanner said:

As he was walking around he noticed a new Bushcaddy in the circuit. As it was taxying in he noticed the signwriting "Turbine Aviation - gets you there fast!" and ........

..... there is certainly no doubt that a Solar T62-T32 in a Bushcaddy does make them go like a cut cat.

"Bugger the Sonex thingy or the Cirrus jet" said a leading and influential AUF member (paid under the table by Turbine Draft and Corruption Co) "It's a Turbine driven BC for me" and the sales went exponential with the only restriction being the limits on the numbers of Military Surplus Solar engines.

"Leave it to me" said Tubb during a BC Production Meeting "We'll take over the Pentagon, which I'll rename as either The Turbagon or The Pentabine, and I'll put Mark Milley in-charge of retiring Solar engines as soon as they reach 50 hrs, so that the BC production line can ......

23 hours ago, Captain said:

..... other bits, which encouraged Cappy to .....

...... do what Turbo and he often did on their lonely nights up the Khyber, ....... or as the CT does up the Australian equivalent of the Khyber, at DG, as he listens to the 5 sacred babbling brooks, .......... or as our great friend Onetrack does during the loneliness of a WA nighttime sandstorm .......... or as Capt Bull does under a cloudless sky somewhere in the vasts of the Tasman ......... and that is to .......

..... other bits, which encouraged Cappy to .....

41 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........Cappy screamed like a Pilliga Yowie and Doubtfire, who was on her second warning .................

 

..... for flicking the heads off 2 big browns, but here she was now, reaching down to have another go, and Cappy sort of volunteered by .....

..... flicked it like a stock whip, as we all do with 6 ft brown snakes.

As a result, ......

29 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......he has suffered more serious burns than we thought and is in the Brisbane Womens Hospital chatting up the nurses. Of course the Bushcaddy incident attracted the newsmedia, and some started talking about the way he ties his har back and plaits it into a pig tail. This aroused suspicion in some quarters that ..........

..... our much beloved Captain might actually be a "Captette".

While Turbo has made light of Cappy's burns in his last post, it turns out that his burns were much more severe and way more extensive than anyone first suspected, such that he had to fight the nurses off in their attempts to rub soothing coconut oil on the affected area, which was also very ........

On 29/03/2024 at 4:05 PM, turboplanner said:

an explosion rivalling Krakatoa.

 

..... which Turbo had actually heard over his right shoulder as he was fighting for the East India Company and for Royal Dutch She'll, against the native inserectionists.

In a quirk of fate, at that instant Turbo asked the same question and muttered the same 5 words (WTFWT?) as were repeated by the mayor of Hiroshima some time later.

.... some bloke with a page boy haircut.

"Hail, for I am Sir Lances-slot and I am ......

6 hours ago, turboplanner said:

".....stick yo the code" said Turbo, but the highly polished shoes may give away one of out most tightly kept secrets"  and he crossed the little fingers of his right hand.

Raising the right eyebrow Cappy answered hi, sternly, but it seemed like the secret would get out when..................

.... everyone noticed that he had taken his "sword" out and was waving it at the ......

Was he just flashing it (plumbingref), or did he want to give the ladies a jab (avref)?

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

"tenos I nawt het lear ginth nad I'm yinglf to porve it because ..........."

 

[Keen NES readers will note Cappy's very clever gradual conversion from Manchurian to English.]

Cappy notes that his recent long post has been removed by some drongo Moderatti Illuminatti.

Cappy assumes that is because of his strong assertions about which of the above is the "Master Race", his experience fighting beside Turdy up the Khyber, and his expose about the Knights of Malta, where both Cappy and Turbs are Grand Seneschals as well as both being Chief Armorers & Grand Marshals. (Little Danny Brown keeps calling both of us for details and information for his next scribblings, but we both just tell the little twerp to bugger off ... as Cappy and Turdy stick together like glue on such matters.)

...... I feel a strong responsibility to ......

Our strict Knightly code prevents us from identifying each other in the below secret photo, however it is obvious how happy and important Turbo & Cappy are. (As a little clue, neither of us are Stan Laurel).

10 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....jok to pe, especially when he sneds you a note saying .................

..... "Waht are you diong?"

To which I have always replied "Dno't sned me any mroe ........

4 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......i jok to, which means ....................

...... an identical sentiment to how all NESers feel about the Moderatti on this site, particularly #5, who is a definite ......

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

......"floater".

This caused Wally Jing Lee to lose "face" and he went berserk in the Drifter, attempting to crash into the Hobart Clock Tower, but like all Chinese when berserk, pulled it to the left every time and eventually ran out of fuel and making a ditching in the upper reaches of the Derwent where a former WreckFly-In member and NESer, QWERTY waded out and dragged the bedraggled pilot and Drifter to shore. QWERTY had been knighted by the Tasmanian Governor for his services to Aviation and given ............................

• .... A certificate written on the last remaining skin of a Tazzy Tiger.
   
• A plastic knighthood badge made from recycled cans from the Devil's Brewery.
   
• Life membership of the Tazzy Tigers AFL Club (if it ever gets up).
   
• And access to the AFL Drug Taking Room down by the docks, complete with 20 free AFL Do-Not-Pass-Go Drug Passes (conditional only on Qwerty taking nothing more serious than ICE).

Qwerty was wrapped, but WJL was still really p ......

A SAMPLE PACK FROM THE DEVIL'S BREWERY.

Capt Bull is into bondage and his favourite is on the left, while his photo is 2nd from right, under which it says "Kiss my Hardy".

On 23/03/2024 at 7:15 PM, turboplanner said:

......the local sewerage farm, and this became known among the in-crowd as an "outlanding" (derived from "Outhouse, or Dunny").

Outlandings could be "easy", when the drying pond was only up to your knees or "tough" if your head went under, or .....................

.....dinarily, in such a case (Turboref), you would be classified as a .......

10 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....stop the engine turning over, after many failed versions he added a solenoid (note, a solenoid not a relay) which pushed a blade out into the prop's path. When he was just about at the bar he pressed a button and the blade extended and sheared the prop blades, and he was the new record-holder, but .........

.... at that instant he was classified as a glider, disqualified, and the croud were full of disdain.

Having been a closet member of the GFA for five decades, bull knew the feeling well and had never previously admitted his penchant for sailplanes, silence and ......

..... he removed the bottom of the propeller (the bit that was hanging down below the hub), to further decrease ground clearance, and while the vibration was a bit of an issue, bull was confident that 1.1 was achievable, if only he could ......

13 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......because blaspheming was not a thing that AUF aviators did and not only that but .........

.... given Australia's changing demographic, many of the members attend the Mosque instead of flying on weekends, or joined the Aerian Botherhood for the grog and the jokes.

As readers may have guessed, this plus the hard line Latin Mass Catholic membership, and the Hi-Church Anglicans, all had a bit of a polarising effect on the AUF, but apart from a few examples of AK47s being used during beat-ups/strafing runs at Fly-Ins, the AGMs of the AUF remained generally fun-filled and .......

6 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......bitcoin.

Besides his Extra, Wally flew a modified Drifter with long range tanks (two milk bottles) and......

.... that's certain to make anyone blaspheme. 

But nobody could ......

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

....ing Lee.

Wally had been an aerobatics champion both here in Australia and all over Europe.

It was said that his snap rolls were better than what you get at Maccas, his Cuban eights left you smoking for life, but he got on the turps and ....................

..... after a few he went into foul language mode (he even said c@#^ in front of old ladies) and because he was bilingual he always swore in English and then translated each word into Chinese, so his swear jar penalty was doubled, but he always paid in .....

14 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......Press Gallery's swearing money jar where the DirtMouth champion was announced every day, the most frequest winner being W..........................

..... ally "Potty Mouth" J.....