Captain

9 hours ago, bull said:

,,very large and very loose......

..... knickers, which were renowned  in law enforcement circles, for ......

9 hours ago, bull said:

Note Ahlox in the background while Turbs and Cappy discussed the world economy, foreign currency exchange rates, and whether to maintain the Turbine Holdings Trust Company in the Caymans, given the latest gold price and the fragile futures index for nickel & cadmium. 

Below is a rare photo of a Gorpinton about the shed it's skin as it grows. This process is very similar to that of a lobster, and they are very vulnerable to indiscriminate pecking or genital licking, for about 12 hours while the new white skin hardens.

8 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......start breeding them, but realised the breed was secured by ............

..... Turbine Genetic Mutations and Manipulations Inc, and the fleas each had a tiny Patent Pending sign on their hind legs that are 25 times the size of those on a normal flea (perhaps in the future to compete with frog's legs as a delicacy in Turbine Michelin Restaurants Pty Ltd, as is TGMaMI's ultimate aim).

Doubtfire then had a particularly playful Gorpinton pussy run up the inside of her VicPol issued skirt, and she was at that instant certain that the pussy was intent on checking out her ........

11 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....hind legs, or for that matter fur.

She bent down to pat what she was sure was a cat, and the Gorpington pecked a lump out of her ...................

..... then laid an egg, after shrieking like tom cats having a blue at midnight, and scratching her wrists as it gave her fleas.

This made Doubtfire gorp (.... verb, not noun defining a tasty snack) at the Gorpinton and wondered whether she should ......

43 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

He withdrew the regret for his decision, said he knew he had the video but just couldn't put his hand on it at the time,the PR people dressed him up in a giant black rooster suit with a bow tie, the chickens were labelled Black Orpington, and just ran out the doors of the franchisees, double jointed or not.

It wasn't until .......

...... the male Black Gorpintons stopped in the alley behind the chicken shops, hissed at the alley dogs, then sat with one hind leg in the air, licked their balls, and coughed up a fur ball.

"Hang on there" said Inspector Doubtfire, who had been sent to investighate the fraud "What was that about "hind legs", as there was nothing in my VicPol briefing about Gorpintons having .......

41 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Once Turbine had labelled it

.... using his Khyber Pass combat name, hence the word that was used, ...... except that the letters "e-h-o-l-e" have fallen off.

22 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

the g is silent in Gorpington

Yes, of course, everyone knows that ...... but which one?

TURBO ON HIS WAY TO DAVOS EARLIER THIS YEAR.

OPERATING COSTS ARE UP THERE WHEN YOU HAVE TO BUY THE AERIAL TANKER TOO ....... BUT THAT IS THE LEVEL OF HIS PROSPERITY. 

.... fraud ...... there is just no way to sugar coat it ...... although the honey cat/chicken peices did sell pretty well.

The twitching chicken tails were also a giveaway and Turbo has since expressed regret for that marketing decision (although still no apology).

However  ......

.... as the price of chicken went up quicker than gold, and that triggered the great chicken substitution scandal which almost wiped out Turbine Industries and went close to destroying Turbos impeccable personal reputation too, ...... and all just because he had Cat Farms and the world spent some time deficient in Chicken Farms.

It was the drumsticks that .....

.... however the runway platform that Capt Bull added to the trawler gave it a profile silhouette identical to the USS Enterprise and as a result, even though he was longlineing off Dunedin, the Houthi rebels tried to dart him with 3 cruise missiles (deathlyseriousavref) that were fired from ......

..... Mavis's Drifter having drifted, the Thruster having thrusted, and bull in the shadows near his Jackoff, having jacked ....

IN ACCORDANCE WITH ARTICLE 3 OF THE WRECK FLYING CHARTER, THE NES IS TO BE SHUT DOWN IF THERE IS NO REPLY WITHIN 48 HOURS OF THE LAST POST.

THE NES IS NOW CLOSED AND NO FURTHER POSTS WILL BE ACCEPTED. 

Signed with authority -Moderator 3

11 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....bought hersek a Drifter (sort of AVREF) did a couple of flights training and flew out to see Captain Bull, landing neatly on the deck, but a little off the centre which sent a little old Italian off his deckchair and into the .......................

.... Tasman.

Capt Bull shrugged and said "More burley is good so don't worry about pushing the MOB button and wasting fuel. Now get his cabin cleaned out and get a vacancy advert out on WikiVacantCabins" (Bull is a calous but effective captain).

"Now, Mavis, tie your Drifter down and I have 6 minutes to spare, so a Thruster is available, before my next Trawler Management Meeting and Toolbox Talk, when I will raise the issue about ......

..... trying to find Fifi or Spot after they were chained up outside the Rissole while the owners had a feed and hit the pokies.

Many times, all that can be found is a puppy's registration disk (often mangled {by beak strikes [QC's are vicious (and tough) buggers]} by the QC feeding frenzy) embedded in a pile of QC poo.

Mavis has certainly been hitting the turps a little more lately, now that bull has his promotion and is off on the foamy blue, so Mave ......

15 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

[One notes that Cappy has used embedded brackets (EB) this is rarely seen in today's society, more's the pity.]

Cappy is very appreciative of Turbo's perceptive note showing his appreciation of the lost art of embedded bracketeering. These types of punctuation are who we are as a people.

18 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

......ate sticky buns covered in flys which quickly attracted flights of Queensland Crows.

Tourists from the South have always been dismissive of the QCs which caw in a most feminine way, especialy whem they are flying or ..........

..... sitting around like the Birds in Alfy's film, see below.

Those same southern tourists are unaware that more people die from attacks by QCs, than are killed annually by Saltys (same with dogs), so ........

A gaggle of QCs on the playset outside the Bone Rissole.

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

He carried this on to adulthood, the photos now digital and AI enhanced. Every grubby, smelly Pub in Queensland was represented. And because there were so many flies crawling on them he started a collection on flies and joined the Queensland Fly Spotters Association, an offshoot of the AUF whose members also seemed to have a lot of flies around them and .........

.... they all used to joke about the irony (AUF members are all real dags (flyref) & students of irony) of flying (avref) to the QFSA meetings where they also ......

2 hours ago, bull said:

............many cases of diarrhea and increase the prawn yield. Suddenly out of the blue Turdy came flying............

.... to contribute, namesake wize.

The decimation of the whitebait stocks and Capt Bull's targeting of Banana Dolphins ultimately brought attention from several GreenPiss boats that closed quickly with Capt Bull's lovely blue vessel, and they sprayed him with water just like they did with the Japanese whaling freet.

However  Capt Bull was waaaayyyy smarter and organized his tourist passengers, including Turbo, into a wet Tshirt competition, and boy were there some beauties on board.

It has been a well recognized fact over the years (he is on a WTshirt Offenders List in Bone following that incident with the see-through Tshirts at the CWA AGM) that Capt Bull's is very partial to the sight of .....

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

......although I am from Wagga Wagga, I am human. At this it seemed that many in the crowd were not convinced. Perhaps it was the peroxide hair, perhaps it was the tattoos, perhaps it was the fact that se was from New South Wales, a dingy little State compared with Queensland or Tasmania or even Victoria. As the rumbling grew louder, ....................

..... she ordered the VicPol rubber bullet firing group to surround her, facing outwards towards the Press in case there were any curly questions, and had an aircraft (avref) warming up at Tulla in the manner of a frightened dictator ready to leave the country >with a flightplan filed to Strahan), and ......

A Mextorian eating what had been sold to her at the Turbine Fish Market as a Banana Prawn at $75/kg.

The Banana Dolphin, currently protected in Mextoria.

..... dose of the .....

.... however they just did not understand the economics of travelling across the ditch, baiting & deploying 100,000 hooks, dehooking each whitebait as it thrashed about, keeping them all alive for the trip back over the Tasman, individually numbering them and putting them in tanks up & down the Qld coast, so that customers could choose their own and then have it despatched in front of them via a unique Qld Harrikarri manner before cooking and presenting it to the customer in a flourish of ....

13 hours ago, onetrack said:

there was a Turbine Languages division, within the Turbine Conglomerate of global operations.

Many westerners thought that this was a noble initiative by Turbo, to teach languages in order to make the world a better place ....... and bi, tri or quattro-lingual.

But no .......................................... the Turbine Languages Division (TLD) actually makes-up brand-new languages and sells them (at a considerable markup) to the World Economic Forum, which use them to further oppress the peasants, wherever they find them.

(This further explains Turbo's absence from the NES around mid-January each year, as it turns out that Turbo has been admitted to the WEF Club of 1000 and he goes to Davos each year. He makes a real splash when he flies in with a beat-up (sorry ....... a missed approach) and then by buzzing the tower, in his private F16, and he is much loved there, possibly being groomed to succeed Klaus.)