Captain

On 03/06/2025 at 11:17 PM, turboplanner said:

.......at this, Epaulette snarled and squinted, they way he did if you stuffed up a ground guide where he expected you to use the wet cow pats to glide at 20 mm above the ground for as long as the Jab was prepared to stretch it; the fear of what EP would do to you if you actually touched dirt was ..................

.... really giving everyone the pats, so they .....

21 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.....the first person came out of the booth area. "HECKLE! FRECKLE! why so speckle!!!!!!?" asked a shocked Pae Mee Nao. "It's alright for you Spick and Span; where were YOU when the sh!t hit the Fan!!" replied ........

...... E Paulette, who had just had a valuable lesson in the problem with one-piece flight suits, when you have to get them off in a hurry, because there is a goods train on the siding.

"Hey, EP" said one dag (pooref) "I note that you have tried to give them an emergency tub after you filled them like a water balloon, but there is still a big piece on your left epaulette, so does that now make you a craptain (jokeref)? And the right one is ......

33 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....$1 slot toilets where some wag had superglued the slots.......

 

 

.... so that the slots no longer align with the slits in the depositor's .....

15 hours ago, bull said:

.............. little ham sandwiches and free cups of coffee ,and suddenly shouts could be heard of food poisoning and the toilets backed up and human sh.........

..... uffling along with their legs together and cheeks clenched, trying to just make it as far as the .....

On 28/05/2025 at 7:26 PM, Captain said:

..... be manifest through his physical actions, and his .....

..... professionally prepared notes as a delegate of the U&LMSFA, where he was very effective in making the points about the consequences for non-Murray (Upper nor Lower) (Scout nor non-Scout) (Flyer or non-Flyer [avref x 2]) members, who had had enough of the ....... 

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

.......something different to what we know was on his mind and would soon.......

..... be manifest through his physical actions, and his .....

8 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.....and the moustache trimmed to a surgeon's accuracy. That piercing look.........

.... of those bull-like "come-to-bed" eyes, that were really saying .....

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

........those "AviatorSupreme" sunnys ...............

.... an Aircraft Spruce clip board embroidered with "Cessnas Rule", and fitted with an Ipad Pro, all strapped to his leg ......

Given the lack of response from the regular NES contributors, Crappy can only assume that this may be a bit close to home, and they may have a tattooed love-heart similarly located.

Oh well, don't knock it if you haven't tried it, I guess.

On 25/05/2025 at 8:57 AM, Captain said:

AN OBSERVATION BY AN NESER WHO IS A VETERINARIAN

One can see the reason why he has had a love-heart tattooed on there, so the pain must have been worth it.

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

........the Dress Code Department of AUF to swing into action.

There was a strange silence in the AUF office. there were usually long periods of silence; after all how long do you need to spend on the minimum standard of a wheel spat.

This however was a STRANGE silence and no one was prepared to go first.................

...... so they all sat back chewing on the blunt end of their Staedtlers, and again nothing was said all the way through smoko, until it was time for lunch and the silence was becoming too much for the couple of couples who had established in-office inter-personal relationships, when ......

.... his Desert Boots remained an issue (not even mentioning the cow poo in his ripple soles), and to get this resolved it was up to .....

..... non-stage name, as he was more popular in the 60s and 70s than Johnny Farmhand, but as a convert to Wreck Aviation (avref) in the 90s, he has .....

.... Elvis PE and his CASA support group, The Tasmanian Mutton F.......

34 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

....the aileron hinges, or a door latch, or the lower half of the ASI.These things don't get much traction in the NES, but, like the Bus Spotters Association photos of the No 2455 leaving Bondi Station, these things trigger raging arguments within the broader rec flying groups around the country, where it's not the ..........

.... big picture being considered.

One of the biggest issues with the Mutton Birds has been that all photos and videos prior to the photo downloaded by Cappy just 4 short posts ago, is that all previous images have been blurry, akin to all the photos of alien spacecraft, so AUF members always considered the lamb-based Mutton Birds to be a myth akin to the Loch Ness Monster, or an honest Vicmanistan Labor politician (well done Turbo on organizing & delivering the box of manure).

However, a NOTAM has now been issued for all aircraft approaching the Tasmanian coast at below 7,500 ft (The sheep get tired of flapping their wings above 7,250 ft density altitude [whatever that DA crap means ..... DA is a bit like W&B .... superfluous to the enjoyment of flying]).

In addition to that NOTAM, the below clear photo has been taken by an AUF visitor to Tasmania who has chosen to remain anonymous, and it shows his view just seconds before being hit (known in the aviation caper as "being balled") and based on that one photo alone, CASA has moved to ........

The photo that got CASA involved.

Note the wire mesh that this pilot had installed outside of his windscreen to hopefully cater for just such an occurrence.

..... aircraft came into sight. 

The pilot was an experienced CFI named E (for Elvis) Paul Ette and he was able to explain the dire consequences that had resulted in so many washed up aircraft and washed up pilots, most of whom were washed up before they entered the water.

"Those clowns put too much reliance on the 2nd word, and thought that they were dealing with just a moderately sized 

The Tasmanian Mutton Bird

8 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........in that millisecond he got another one, this time up ..........

..... and there, dear readers (and particularly for our hundreds of stewed ants on Wreck Flying) is the pilot's (avref) worst nightmare, when he (or she) needs to make that critical decision about whether to .......

7 hours ago, onetrack said:

Accordingly, with a clean windscreen and high hopes, bull sighted the delightful shape of the Tasmanian land mass appearing, and this aroused him even further, dreaming of sighting the real thing on Chastity, which brought him to...........

..... full attention again and he didn't know whether to leave his hands on the Jackoff's stick, or put his piloting hand on the other stick and ......

10 hours ago, turboplanner said:

As he ran abeam of Flinders Island his thoughts went back to the bible and God's advice to stay way from sin with hope, faith and chastity, and he was moved that someone so long ago knew what a little number they had in Bone. As the old bluehead churned along; it was 65 years old this coming Sunday, bull ........

..... thought of chastity in the fondest possible terms, and he got one, which hadn't happened for a while, so he ......

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

OT didn't have one because they only issued them for Australia, not the dependencies and this was where bull's adopted home would cause a problem which........

... became evident when bull realized that the CASA Keys were created and awarded by the same bloke that pulled bitcoin out of his clacker, so it is essential that big time internet, plenty of gigga-gigga bites are available to mine for them, and as Tasmania still only has steam powered dialup. bull was always going to struggle to .......

Important note - WA is a "dependency" while Tasmania is a "Depends-ency" where, due to age and the adverse effects on the bladder of the tea-tree-stained water, the population are more incontinent than incompetent. 

.... attend AUF Fly-Ins if they will ever be held again, to be a bonafide Sky-Pilot, and to .......

3 hours ago, onetrack said:

.....write his own language, which was based on his Queensland and Tasmanian living and educational experiences. There's reportedly an Australian language called Strine, bull decided to name his new language, Strayn - because it was regularly a strain trying to figure out what a Strayne speaker was actually saying. This led to a serious diplomatic bungle, when bull, upon his visit to the Pope, said.........

 

..... "bonjour Le Pope mate, and congrats on getting the top gig. Je suis bull ze famous (see further explanationi below) sea captain from bone et Tazzy, and can you illuminate and elucidate me on what the F is the Holy See or is it the Holy Sea or the Holy C, mate?"

Le Popa drew bull aside for a 2-hour private session, with lunch & a knees-up in his private apartment, and once all the hangers on had gone, he said "Will you endorse me publicly, monsieur Le bull, it would mean so much for moi an ze future of ze church, and will you also .....

Latin Explantioni - In Australien circles des Aviationi, bull suis even more famous than you, mate.

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.... when he was planting trees in Latin ....

Further Explanationi - bull was not planting trees, he was sowing oats and spreading his seeds ... even at his advanced age.

19 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....get their food from supermarkets and campaign to ban cattle.

When looking for the fighter pilots of the future, the RAAF doesn't walk down Smith St, Collingwood checking out the dudes lying on the footpath, or cruise through Logan in an MRAP; no, they go out into the Country where the the average resident started shooting rabbits or wild pigs for the family dinner when they were five.

These were the people you could rely on to ........

..... protect the might of the great Australian Commonwealth.

Our stout & dedicated colleague, bull, is one who knows the back-story to the decline of the lean Aussie bushman and his replacement by the fat and decrepit Aussie couch potato, and as one of the former, bull thanks that .....

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........a duck lifts off the water, when it's hit by the sand, it's plucked.

CT is a thinker, and rightfully was given a SHOT award at the annual Hunter Oscar Awards on Hollywood boulevarde.

Australians have always done well at the HOA because...............

... your average Aussie is a lean & highly focussed bush man, and is not at all like those city folk who ...

.

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....explaining his "Bunker technique" which didn't rely on laminar airflow over the wings, but somewhat lost the crowd when he spent too much time on the refinements of getting sand out of your sump, ball joints and universal.......but CT gave him both barrels with ...........

..... his newly released 410 cartridges, cleverly named CT's Sand Shot (or CTsSS as the firearms industry soon designated them), and during an interview he said "I've seen that craze of people shooting flies using salt guns and well, we don't muck around (or any other 'uck around) up here at the confluence of the mightiest of Mextoria's 5 streams, so that when ......