Captain

.... then ---

..... am inspired to also be crooked which means that i can ...... (full stops/dod dot dots only added for effect and in accord with the rules of the NES, so respects to bull and I hope he is not offended)

.... the First Nations White Guilt Football Leage (FNWGFL). "That's much better" said Gill "As those Australians that are mentioned in the AFL's current name were white oppressors, and we know that in Tasmania, bull and his cronies did major wipe-out damage to our 1st Nations cousins". hang on there said bull indignantly me and my buddies have never been surfers and i know for a fact that the native tasmanians (respects etc .... as this part of the NES includes reference to persons who may be deceased) never surfed at shipstern bluff nor at the wedge, and i know that to be a fact because i .........

.......... Gil immediately accepted the recommendations in this post from Turbo. "Turdboy is a creator and is a real go-getter & an achiever. He gets things done." said Gill. "That's why we have always wanted him to choreograph the opening ceremony and the Welcome-to-Country celebrations in OZ, so that white Aussies will always feel guilty for being born. .......... Plus we want him onto the AFL Board, if only to suck him dry for sponsorship money from Turbine Industries, as the "TI Redbacks from Risdon" has a real marketing ring to it. Just imagine how the crowd would respond to Turbo's other suggestion of an "Explosives Vest Dance", a Prettiest Goat Parade (PGP), and the ...........

...... punched the air. "Elon Musk and SpaceX/Starlink are great, but we haff just proven that we haff the potential to undertake commercial space launches direct from the middle east .......... even iff it is 1 customer at a time". Gill was impressed and wrote on his drink coaster "Develop a 'Welcome to Country' and a "Smoking Building Ceremony" for Iraq", send Buddy and Garry over to support the Redbacks and the CrockJumpers respectively (give 'em $20 million each), and contact ......

...... the banners from each time the Mosul Redbacks play the, Erbil CrockJumpers in their footy trials to attempt to become the 20th team in the AFL and to relocate to Tasmania. "Why would we possibly want to relocate to an even bigger sh*thole" said AH when Gill McLaughlan came to see them play as part of his Bomb-Chucker's Inclusivity Round (BCIR - sponsored by SemTex), where ......

..... and the originator was criticized for there being insufficient (horserefs). ....... he came from Mosul and he always liked the bulldog bonnet ornament. Al-hammad's (known to his mates as AH [and to his critics as A-Hole]) biggest issues while flying off the hours after he finished the Mosul Mack (MM) was that the ladies of Mosul knocked off the muslin to use while belly dancing, the Bulldog was less aerodynamic than his papyrus based abacus calculations has indicated, and as he flew past Mosul Heights and over the west Mosul near the International Yacht Marina (IYM) he was targeted by a shoulder fired missile (SFM) that had been given to Ukraine by Poland, but sold on the black market as Chinese Happy Dragon Smiling Lion fireworks to some kids who had a bonfire constructed on the Mosul oval, made out of .........

...... for bull who piped up that he has always used an Azerty keyboard that has also been programmed to type backwards in Arabic when not being used for his contributions in the NES. "The Azerty layout makes my typing much quicker in the NES and I can also correspond with my Muslin aviation (avref) friends, because .......

Which was a significant issue for bull as he had always been one to bite the corners off his TimTams and suck (CASAref) his coffee thru the bickies. ..... the opportunity to solve the problem and a wiparound-for-a-mate (a wfam) was held within the NES to purchase a new 21st century keyboard (not yet available in Tasmania) with which .......

.... aviation (avref) community. "Yeah" piped up bull from his session of ecstasy "All people who have a heart turn should experience this, and if they survive, they are good to sign themselves out, ........... but sticking with the NES for a mo, (which is not easy), what is this lingo used in NOTAMS (avref), SITREPS (avref), METARS (avref) and all that other fair dinkum aviation (avref) stuff that I find a bit ponderous (and full of capitals), so I just listen to the weather on 7 STR Strahan radio which mostly says "Blowing like stink most of the time". Then bull added "Just hang on there sweetheart and I'll show you where my scar is, so that ........

....... supported the girl's suggestion, as he would do anything for his mate bull (Cappy has even tried to buy bull a year's supply of punctuation marks & capital letters ....... plus a nurse to rub his scar). "Go for it ladies, with my blessing, he's at the ground floor coffee shop" he said "And I have arranged for there to be a .......

...... a ratty looking scots person with legs akimbo ...... but not much to show for it, even in his mini-kilt. "No" said the ladies "If Crappy can't perform (airshowref) we want bull Tyroref), as we reckon that just 2 of us could send him to god, and from what we have heard of his performances in and around Bone, he deserves to go out with his .....

....... a dozen "ladies" of varying ages, size, and experience. ....... "And that's exactly what we have in mind" they chorused, as they ......

..... taking care of the considerable needs of the ladies who were on board. Ratty ate a hearty breakfast in preparation for the daunting task that was ahead of him, oiled himself up, then poured a dozen double Pims and walked out to ......

....... he immediately did what all of the McRatts have done for centuries, which started with TutankhMcRatt who built the great 1000 m high sand pyramid of middle Egypt, however that was a failure but not a total loss, as the remnants can still be seen today in what has become known as the "Sahara" (which is Egyptian for "left over pyramid bits"), with a fair bit of it also blown into WA (ohhh the sand, the sand) on the jet (avref) stream. The lectric Drifter & its Chinese batteries spluttered (they don't actually do that anymore ...... as the revs just die aaaaawwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaay) and as a result Ratty did what all good AUF members would do. He looked down at the water, said "Well xxxx me" then bent over (which is not easy in the Drifter full of batteries) to kiss his .......

.... in both nostrils. "Apologies Tubb" said Sir Baanard "But with my failing eyesight, on 1st reading, I thought your post said 'panties down his shirt', which is infinitely more preferable to what ....

..... low paid, low quality. low rent trainee from Mackas. "Please wait in the drive thru bays and I'll get the order to you asap" said Sir Baanard (who knew all the lingo from the Boggabri Mackas when he would work late to save the license of an AUF member, and the Golden Arches crew would still be unable to get his order to him before he ......

.... Sir Baanard Turbine who was a Baarister (and Tyro owner) with chambers in Gunnedah and Boggabri (so he was in the big league), specializing in getting AUF type off charges that he considered were obviously ..........

G'day bull and glad to see that you can still walk. Is that the same coffee shop where all the sick people struggle down to get to, so that they can have a durry outside in the cold? (And perhaps even try to crack onto the sick lady also having a smoke?)

.....which caused consternation, and even worse, in the Namoi Valley town (& grass strip) of Baan Baa. "CASA are taking the p*ss" said the Prez of the Baan Baa International Flying Club "As they well know that .....

..... letters should only be written once a letter of approval was obtained from Canberra. Further, it was an edict that no letter should be written, considered or drafted without the full Paper Cut Safety Protocol (the PCSP) being put in place, as defined in the major OH&S Document, which nobody had actually seen in hard copy because of the paper cut danger (PCD) and even digital copies had a warning attached for Keyboard Fingertip Bruising (KFBs), Tablet RSI (TRSI) and smart (or dumb) phone brain injury risks (BIRs). This latter potential BIR injury has never actually been proven because the investigations (under the CASA ACT subclause 35,679.(B).56429,(d).12) of 5 subcommittees (5SCs) had stalled when trying to define a Male and Female Brain (M&FB), then to actually find an employee that was not on a sickie or stress leave, who could actually .........

...., so they pulled up outside the Tait Toyota dealership to have a typical CASA meeting. "Does anyone have any paper cuts or other personal safety concerns or examples of where you have been offended, that they wish to report?" asked the guy who had the seniority. Four hours later he moved on to agenda item 2. "Who wants to bend over first to have the PP spines pulled out of their clacker, but more importantly, surely there is somebody else that we can blame for this and who can we persecute to make us all feel better?" That is when the car washing bloke from Taits leant over the fence and said "...............

....... , dragged themselves up to their full height and yelled with a lithp "We are highly offended by what is being done with those Cacti and .......

... wasn't pretty, but a fair crowd turned up to ......

SIDE COMMENT - Which is a lot of guns for a short-arsed, overweight, obnoxious and opinionated CASA FOI (these are just the sort of people who would knock off grapes while alongside someone's deathbed .... or even when you have an ingrowing toenail), but it did boost their already inflated egos.