Captain

.... were dismayed to find that he likes it. "You have to start somewhere in your quest to be a brain surgeon" said Cappy to the Judge. "I come from a broken home, I was molested as a child (by the girl next door but the Court doesn't need those gory details), I was one of the stolen generation and I think I am also an .......

BECAUSE bULL IS SUCH A GOOD MATE, CRAPPY RANG THE COFFEE LADY THIS MORNING TO SET IT ALL UP AND AS SHE SAID "I'M UP FOR IT AS HE IS HOT IN HIS HOSPITAL GOWN AND BUNNY SLIPPERS ............... BUT I'M CONCERENED THAT BY THE LOOK OF YOUR MATE WHAT I DO MIGHT BE HIS LAST AND I DON'T HAVE ANY PROFESSIONAL INDEMNITY INSURANCE". I TOLD HER I WOULD TALK TO bULL AND HIS MEDICOS THEN REPORT BACK. NOW THAT IS WHAT MATES ARE FOR.

......... write me back into the story, in fact I suggest that we add both myself and that CT from DG into a vitally interesting tome ............. if only we had something interesting to recount .... so just give us a little time for us to caucus and to identify something riveting (avref) about our personal lives before we will get back to you all with a storyline that will lift the NES to a new level (avref) and please Planey (avref). And with that, bull made a more determined pass at the coffee lady, and the NES ground to another halt, pending a ...........

bULL (PRE "TURN") LEADING THE VESTIL VIRGINS BOOT SCOOTING GROUP .... (HENCE THE GAPING RED V POINTING AT WHERE THEY MISSED OUT, AND PLEASE NOTE THE HIGHLY SUGGESTIVE GREY VESTIL INSIGNIAS) (NOBODY BELIEVES THAT ANY OF THEM REALLY ARE). NOBU IS ON THE RIGHT IN HIS FAVOURITE LONG WIG

...... dished out. "Bull may be a bit on the wrinkly side (even back then, well before his "turn") but his cool actions in the Tyro mean that he is not yet a fogy, so as well as being a very competent & endearing line dancing boot scooter, we reckon that he is a ......

....... bull's outstanding work. "bull searched high and low (avref) throughout the eastern states, identified several sub-groups and undertook detailed genome analyses, then wrote a white paper that is post-doctoral in standard & detail (it is outstanding & publishable even without a single capital letter or punctuation mark) and bull achieved all that from his bed after his "turn", even with a few trips down to the cafeteria for coffee, a quick dart and to try to crack onto the lady in Ward 6. So let me tell all here present, and through the media to the world at large .... particularly to the Nobel Prize Committee in Stockholm, that bull's performance was Stephen Hawking - like (before he died of course, ....... as we do not wish bull's "turn" to end up the way that our mate Steve did)" said the President of the Royal Society, with considerable feeling. The audience went tropo with excitement and yelled ".............

...... Turbo to Prince Harry (who Crappy saved during one of his undercover tours in Afmelbourstan), who has royal blood and who has the same hair colour as Cappy remembers his great mate Turbo having 50/nay 60 years ago. Turbo and Harry got on like a castle on fire and Turbo took him to ......

....... realised for the 1st time that Turbo is either Jeff Bazos (in drag .... NTTIAWWT) or his Turbazon distribution network made Amazon look puny, or .......... FURTHER RESEARCH BY CAPPY AFTER THIS POST HAS DISCLOSED THE BELOW YACHT ON THE AUSSIE REGISTER OF SHIPPING. SHE IS CALLED TURBINIA AND IS REGISTERED TO AN ANONYMOUS (TYPICAL OF TURBO'S MODESTY) MOORABBIN BUSINESSMAN. SO OUR MUCH BELOVED AND VERY OWN TURDBOY IS ACTUALLY JEFF BAZOS BUT WITH LESS HAIR. THE BLOKE THAT WE NOW KNOW TO BE TURBO, LOOKING A BIT SMUG AFTER MAKING A KILLER POST, RIPPING IT UP SOMEBODY ON WRECK FLYING.

..... the 50 cal Gatling gun (the Corsair had been masterfully upgraded by Crappy) pumped 400 rounds per second into that tender spot right between his XXXX and his ........

...... Mrs Chief promised not to tell. However, the news was not all good and the shindig on the turps was a little preliminary, as a noise was heard deep in the Bora Bora hinterland, and just like there was always one Japanese soldier fighting on after WW2, until 1964, ("Why you keep laising that Clappy" asked Nobu "He was vely blave ..... and certainly quite persistent"), the noise indicated that one huge and very cranky Coo-kaburra had survived (like so many other stories of WW2, this Coo-kaburra was fortuitously off in the karzy checking out Facebook when Cappy attacked out of the sun, and he just thought that he had followed thru with a big one when all the noise happened. "That was a good one" he cooed, and then he opened the huge dunny door to see the result of Crappy's great airmanship. It was then that he ......

..... to deny his inane skills & bravery. As reported by Turbs, Crappy had destroyed all of the Bora Bora Coo-kaburras, and it is now totally accepted that the Japanese 5th Fleet, which comprised 6 carriers, 5 frigates and 10 destroyers, had disappeared in 1943 as a result of numerous attacks by Coo-kaburras. The fact that Crappy kicked their massive areses single handed, with minimal use of his precious ammo, was a matter of Dougy Bader type legend and .....

....... where a Coo-kaburra was eating a wilderbeast. The Bora Bora Coo-kaburras had evolved from the rather pathetic Aussie Kookaburras that bludge for meat on the rail on your balcony, into one of the most efficient predators in the South Pacific (Great White sharks are like goldfish to them), they can eat half a wildebeest in one sitting plus have been known to .......

....... Turbo could see the CASA Brown-Shirt's hand deep down in those pockets. Then Turdy, ever the diplomat, looked away and said subtly "Are you just pleased to see me, are you looking for your CASA Regulation Charge Book (the dreaded CRCB), or are you actually fiddling with your ........ TURBO GIVING AND EARLIER EXAMPLE OF POCKET BILLIARDS WITH THE ARROW POINTING TO THE PRIZE.

..... Cappy launched into her Grammy winning version of Joline. "I quite like being the Dolly that I am" Cappy/Dolly said "And I have always reckoned that big t.........

..... ever the mate, yet a tough bushman at heart, looked at Turbo, looked for the camera, considered the copyright income, looked at the excruciating pain in Turbo's handsome eyes and it was too much for Cappy. He went for the money shot & wriggled Turbo's arm, perhaps a little more than was essential to get a bit more corpuscles into the shot, then ...........

.......... Joys of Cryptics ........... (bloody computers).

...... started a new round of their "We are from CASA, we are on your side (really and truly), and we are here to help you enjoy your flying more" roadshows at every flying club and major, minor and poxy-little airport and grass strip around OZ. since when does a message that says do what we say or the wilderbeasts will eat you add to the freedom aviation (avref) experience asked bull at the AUF AGMs that he always attends, ........ then often gives a 2 hour (sometimes extending to 3 if he really gets going) dissertation on the "Joys of Crytics". Onesie couldn't resist piping up, and that CT from DG did the same "The subliminal message in Dave's film, and which CASA has latched on to, is that the bigger the .......

........ National Geographic, Jaques Cousteau (respects) , Alby Mangles, Hans Tholstrup and the Leyland Brothers. "The problem here" said Dave A "Is that there are no animals to eat the wilderbeasts, and I like filming animals as they catch and eat other animals while still alive." "We'll eat 'em, quick stix" volunteered the Chief. So Dave got out his box brownie. "Make sure there is lots of suffering and gore" directed Dave ....... and with that, another edition of "Life-on-Earth" was assured to be ........

The natives were then heard to say in broken English "Worry not about the "creeky herds", eh chaps. We have been invaded by creepy nerds (AUFref). .. and Turbo turned, disgusted,"You can't do that near this pristine water, and besides, while carrying you it went all down my back. ..... wilderbeast appeared. "Well I'll be buggered" said the Chief "I've never .......

And here, dear Readers, is the reason why Ratty and Turdboy are so close and have been for many decades. They both posted at the same time and were obviously copasetic. However Turdy has strayed from the path of NES (nesref) righteousness & skipped a post, so NESers need to still address the issue of the cryptic "creeky herds gather there"....... ..... everyone looked at him with a blank stare & dribble in the corner of their mouths (CASAref), because the Turdy/Ratty close interaction was well known (some even suspected that there might be a gay relationship involved [NTTIAWWT]), and because of his super respected position within the aviation (avref) community & his total eminence in the Wreck Flying Forum Mob, Turbs was never (ever) questioned, and if he said a yacht was sailing through the WhitSundays (sailingref) next weekend, then that is what is happening, yacht or no yacht, and ......

........ answer still had to be found to the cryptic "creeky herds gather there"........

...... and with that Crappy fell to his knees with new respect for bull. "Geeez" said Ratty to himself "bull was referring to cryptic crosswords and for all these years I have been unable to ever get 1 cryptic answer correct, even after sitting with a couple of mates almost every Saturday morning for the past 5 years, to do the Quizz and the crosswords". i didnt realise that the crapster was so dumb said bull and the ......

..... wondered at bulls prowess with the crosswords. "I guess that you don't need any punctilliation with crosswords" Crappy pondered "And you can just make the words fit into the tiny little boxes, so it's a win-win always win, for our close frend bull" bull took offence that Ratty thought he may have cheated when he won the Bone International X-word Contest (the BIXC) at the age of 6 (which he modestly refers to as his "younger days", as modesty is a hallmark of bull's persona) and bull therefore responded to Crappy with his typical ......

......... given up on having a "good time" since bull had moved to Tazzy. They were so sad that they all sat in the sun looking at their maps of Tasmania, to try to see where he had ......

..... sh.......