Captain

...... give them some of their own back. So he spun around in circles, put his teeth in and made those Tazzy Devil noises so excellently copied by Mel Blanc. He was intending to chew through them like a Stihl chainsaw on heat, however high centrigal force (avref) and false teeth do not mix too well, particularly next to a bent bentley on a challenging regular section of the Targa, with Turdboy nowhere to be seen, in the Tasmanian wilds, the result being that ......

..... bull realised that he was still in 1st gear with the traction control limiting the throttle opening. bull eased the Bentley into the D setting on the gear thingy, cinched down his 5 point harness, pulled down the straps on his HANS device and watched as the Bentley (which bull calls a bentley) came into its element and .....

..... was a right hander. "What is this right handed corner that I see ahead?" Turdy asked himself. "I have my wider & differently cut outside tyres on the wrong side of the Vette for such a corner, so I will need to swap them over each time I come to one." So, and not for the first time, Turbo got the jack ......

.... an effigy of Turbo in cut out corflute with a hand drawn face, with a sign beside it that said very cruel and disturbing things about Speedway. Then he also noticed that whoever had made it had added a very flattering drawn C&Bs down south, but had then set fire to them using a ......

.....r Vette get you more tail than my Bentley got me last night. If it did, you must be exhausted today, because I .....

..... laid rubber, all the way up to 41, when the overspeed warning kicked in and ......

..... a fair bit of public comment because Turbo uses the same tanning lotion and sunbed as Donald Trump and Tubb's Moorabbin mansion is named Mar el Even Larger Largo, but bull stood firm and declined all attempts ......

.... bull could then run his Bentley in the Liquimoly 12 Hour, with Turbo, Crappy and Onesie as his codrivers, (with sponsorship from Turbine Media, Turbine Petroleum and from Turbinia herself, personally) However an issue arose when it was found that as soon as he put his helmet on, Turbs could only turn left and insisted on kicking the Bentley's arse out about 4 ft while planting his foot to produce a gracious power slide, that has always been known in top class Speedway circles (speedwayref & avref) as the "Turbo Shuffle" (even Al Unser & AJ Foyt called it that), so bull put his foot down (racingref) and relegated Turbo to be the team's .......

.... even a Jayco with a gigantic double bed that .....

..... one of the Bone ladies offered to take bull as her sex slave for a case of mangoes (the poxy tasteless R2D2 types & not even Bowens) and 3 collector paddle pop sticks. bull was mortified ....... until he realised that she had big .....

..... a good deal, as Brocky had autographed the dash, so she's on a winner as it is certainly worth more than me." Turbo thought about trying to boost bulls shattered confidence level but then, as usual, thought "No stuff it" and said "But Brocky was a Holden man. That must be a fake (done by Clarry Brock, the well known scammer) as to be genuine & collectable, it should have been done by Alan Moffat or myself during my Ford years." bull ŵas very disappointed that he had been swapped for a straight (NTTIAWWT) six, 3 speed column change rust-bucket, so went down to his new squeeze, the hospital coffee lady, who said that she wouldn't even swap bull for a ......

..... appropriate to mention in the NES. " Speaking about wife swapping, my wife swapped me for falcon ute last year" said .......

..... as Turbo has so often wisely said "Teach a man (or woman NTTIAWWT) to fish ........... and there will be fish scales all over the joint forever and a day until they circum to ciguatera or mercury poising, or until .......

..... "He's hot, so is he already taken?", to which the crowd replied .....

Further Explaination - Volodymyr Zelenskyy, his hot wife and the bloke that paid off Hunter Biden are mates of Turbo's from his time studying world politics at Harvard just before he was the architect of the European Union (and the Moorabbin Opera House). But Turbo is also a close mate of Vladimir Putin from when Turbo trained the KGB in umbrella based nuclear poisoning, so Turbo is in a unique Henry Kissinger type position to sort out all of this s@&* and put the Balkans to bed once and for all. We are lucky that he gives a few minutes of his busy day to us & our thousands of readers in the NES.

...... doubted that Turbo was the original "Tiger Whisperer", so signed him up to do a series of shows in Vegas, DaNang, Kamchutka and to then entertain the troops in Kiev (both sides, no less) because .....

...... but the Chief had a better idea, that Turbo BE the horse's doovers. However Cappy sprang into action to defend his best mate. "I suggest that you allow Turbo to live, as he is a good mate of mine, Chief me old pal ....................... so just slice little bits off him so that he can still ......

...... and because they were both very attractive specimens, it was impossible to work out who would be dinner and which would end up with the Chief's wife or daughter. Cappy, ever the caring and sharing diplomat, decided to propose that .......

...... this added interest factor meant that .......

..... contribute meaningfully to the NES, or to society generally, because they ......

...... goals when he got a gig playing for Hawthorne "I am particularly proud to be part of the rebuild to a premiership in 2035" said Ou "And I am teaching the players some Montagnard type tricks, like eating the hearts of your enemies, and Jeff Kennett thinks that is great except for some recalcitrant .......

..... teamed up with Turbo to rip Cappy off ..... again. "Why?" screamed Crappy "Oh Y? If only I had added that, Turdboy would have been unable to hijack my story line." "No mate" interjected Ou "As I am in the story now and you cannot get rid of me and my best mate Turbo, so easily". As a further intro (he is a pushy p$*&k ........which he learnt from the TurgidPlonker), Ou presented his CV (in written and electronic forms + an introductory professionally produced video), he claims to be a Montagnard warrior who has worked recently as a minder & head-kicker for Dictator Dan and had therefore gathered a lot of .......

.... took the initiative and contacted every church of every denomination in Oz. "Too right, we all certainly do need vestments and yes, ou can be our Agent" so he .... .

.... a prickocious female (she, it, them, that, what) ABC cadet reporter & a senior executive editor from the Turbine Media Conglomeration. Somewhat surprisingly they both ....

...... which is interesting, international-incident wise, because he was actually just 20 kms north of Strahan, on departure to the NE, and that area is supposed to be .......