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The Never Ending Story


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....... became a rasp, then turned into an angle grinder, which developed into .......

........ check the nationality of.   "Look bro" the kiwis said "Thut Aussie is coming back for another go at us and ut looks like he has another sex bombs."   "Thut's a wee problem

........ had been misquoted by Turbo bin Plonker, as it was actually "الله أكبر" that he ried as he climbed awat.   This post by Turbo Garbage-Bin had attracted the attention of VicPol and d

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...Bronwyn bishop is incredibly unatractive, even in bondage and dicipline leathers..He looked around and discoverd a temporal distotion of the space time continuem, obviously caused when the thruster took of and broke the laws of nature...he used this time flux to travel to a time when the flyin at echuca was not cancelled and...

 

 

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OZ Stork aeroplanes have just released 6 cylinder diesel engined go anywhere flyer with a TBO time of 10000 hours while burning a measly 4 liters per hour, cruising at 175 knots and able to lift twice its weight while still stalling at 10 knots - at just over 19,234 dollars less $100 credit for any surrended Telstra share.

 

Woetax have replied with......

 

 

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tears, "How can it cost only $19234 when our 912 costs twice that for each 25hrly mandatory replacement gearbox." "Your devaluing our monopoly into a duopoly and that isn't good for our competition."

 

Being that the Woetax words were in the form of the daily 91x series mandatory maintenance notifications only the Woetax users heard, or cared, and they were automatically convinced.

 

We need Bronny the leather wielding shaft (drive that is) rider to sort out those upstart birdflu bunch. The question was of course how do you get a Polly to act. answer...Repetion, repeat after me "dance cocky" over and over while bobbing your head up and down.

 

Meanwhile in Bundyrum, headquarters of OzStork, Birdbrain the manager shook his head while contemplating what the marketeers had done. The anywhere flyer was optimistically named, the neverflyer was closer to truth but those marketeers had suggested that he wouldn't sell many. What was he to do.....

 

 

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Birdbrain, exclaimed Fatcat, how the hell do you think you're gonna get away with killing off a storyline?

 

You wanted a millenium master and you're not prepared to do anything for it? yelled Fatcat again....

 

Birdbrain thought about this for a minute and the obligitary lightbulb flashed above his head......

 

 

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Just then the phone rang again - it was the bank .....Your bank balance is again in the red, your overdraft is now $2000 and climbing, the good news is although your Testra shares aren't worth S:censored::censored:T there is enough of them for you to claim 2.3 go anywhere flyers from the OZ Stork aeroplane company.

 

 

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Unfortunately for Birdbrain, he forgot to include GST, Fuel surcharge, landing fee's, ASIC renewal costs and a recent 300% increase in interest rates (as the Millenium master is owned by the bank), which, just by opening the canopy on the aircraft made him liable for a bill of $392.75. Iain was rubbing his hands together with glee. Bugger me, Birdbrain thought..

 

 

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if I add the cost of adsb and the soon to become compulsory human factors course, I'd be better off with a hang glider. Bord brain went to the shed to see wat had happened to his stocks of black plastic and al tube...

 

 

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.... a complete mental blackout as he ducked under the low door frame (which unfortunatley managed to break the said "lighted bulb").

 

His wife found him later that afternoon dribbling and singing "come fly with me" while keeping in time by pounding his head with a 4 year old copy of flyers digest.....

 

 

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The combination of banging his head with the flying digest, along with a recent re-run off "Top Gear" inspired Bird Brain to mate a J160 airframe with a turbo prop he knew was available from a written off Pilatus PC-12. I wonder if the Stig has a PPL...

 

 

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Birdbrain obtained his name for a reason. An entrupeneur Birdbrain was, an engineer he definitely wasn't.... Even so, Birdbrain had a knack for getting away with things....would he get away with a turboprop in a J160? would the J160 leak like a sieve if he flew through rain? would the engine mount stay together???????? what was Vne ???

 

 

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...Bird Brain also managed to work out he needed extra fuel capacity to feed the hungry turbo. He discovered the rear fusilage would hold 827 liters of Jet-A1, and being a safety nut added two "NO SMOKING" decals to the exterior skin of each door.......

 

 

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He noted a recurrent theme however, the engine ran cool enough, when the outside airtemp was at or below -30degrees celcius, he was worried that may be a problem in Australia, but other than issueing a few stab in the dark mandatory updates around the size of the lockwire on the oil cooler, was not worried enough to get an engineer to look at it.

 

Of more concern was the fact that the prop blade length was longer than the nose gear and had almost as much surface area as each wing, hmmm contra rotating.... I think thats a good thing he thought.... Perhaps it will be of use to farmers ..... ploughing and flying, business and pleasure all mixed in one, now theres a thought....

 

 

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Good news everybody! I rang the ATSB to report the second crash of the Never Ending Story... They said that they weren't even aware of the first crash, but as it had happened twice they really wanted to talk to the person/s responsible so that they could give them....

 

 

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A medal.

 

It hadn't yet been reported in the media which meant it wasn't yet categorized as a cessna, a jet or a plane build in a back yard with a teaspoon, victa lawnmower and some of mums best linen.

 

Birdbrain kept going and despite what had happened to him, he still loves mother nature...

 

 

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Guest pecram air

..a brain in the pilots skull. Somewhere he still had Dr frank-in-furters number. "ah here it is !! Now a quick call " The good Doctor was in and what do you think he had to say ??

 

 

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Guest pecram air

"a what?? where, that goes against all that is natural but let me think about it" said the good doctor " I'll swap a brain for flying lesson if you can find an operational pilots brian.How does that sound ?" .......

 

 

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....there must be thousands of pilots out there called Brian but to find one that also has a brain could be a huge task (sorry to all the Brians) so while we go looking, how about a word from our sponsor.....

 

 

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