The Never Ending Story

[onetrack]

.....the Cyprus MAC (the Cypriot equivalent of the AUF) has a longer and more unpronounceable list of names, such as Charalambous, Ioannou, Georgiou, Loucaides, and Constantinou.

These names of course, lead to the all-important name-shortening in familiar surroundings - becoming Char, Yo, Geo, Lou and Con whenever there's a group of MAC flyers gathered (which isn't very often, because they tend to stay on the ground a lot, in case they get mistaken for invading Greek Air Force aircraft, by trigger-happy Turkish Cypriots).

 

This situation naturally, has led to a number of MAC members (when they do occasionally get airborne), setting speed and distance records, encouraged by Turkish Cypriot AA fire, and this creates a.....

 

Edited February 6, 2022 by onetrack

[turboplanner]

....friendly atmosphere around the campfire as members pull squashed 20 mm cannon shells out of their pockets, and describe in extensive language how they dodged thes was and that, or how the new GM Supercharger on the Jabiru gave it the power to reach for the stars, or .................

[Captain]

7 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....friendly atmosphere around the campfire as members pull squashed 20 mm cannon shells out of their pockets, and describe in extensive language how they dodged thes was and that, or how the new GM Supercharger on the Jabiru gave it the power to reach for the stars, or .................

...... how similar is Tasmania to the situation in Cyprus.

 

This discussion disclosed the previously unknown fact that WA has submitted a territorial claim over western Tazzy because of the Iron Ore in Savage River and the surrounding area.

 

"Everyone knows that WA, me, Gina & the Twigster have the rights to all Iron Ore in Aussie, so we therefore make a claim to Western Tasmania" said Marky Mark in his speech to the United Nations.

 

Just like the name "Turkish Cypriots" the Tazzy west coasters are known officially as "WA Tazzys" or "Warties" and bull, who has a few planters on sensitive parts of his bod, took up a leading position in the .....

Edited February 7, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

Push to take the riches of Tasmania at a time when the richest man in Tasmania owned a Porsche, and all the others could see that with iron ore paying their taxes for them, they'd soon all have one.

Just then, two things happened; the Minister for Industry, Energy and Emissions Reduction (a neat little combination) had been writing a text to Barnaby; "Hi Barnaby mate, that XXXX Scomo has nobbled me for a week for the last text I sent and I'm XXXXXXXX mad about it. We all know he's a XXXX, it's just that none of us have heard him say anything bad............." when the news of the WA attempted coup in Tasmania was announced. He positively glowed; this would mean more lunches, dinners and overseas travel.

 

The second thing occurred in the Tasmanian Parliament half an hour later when it was announced that Field Marshall James Gerald Cook, our beloved Cappy, had just been appointed Governor General of Tasmania.

 

Cappy and Turbo were both in the bar of the Hyatt on the Park in Melbourne. They both lifted their phones at the same time and after listening Turbo in a raised voice, having noticed Cappy said, "Couldn't have appointed a better person, Good Show!" Cappy positively beamed and appointed him Operations Suprintendant, and bull as Aide de Camp for Transport.

 

Tasmania being a Soverign State and the Field Marshal acting in the place of the Queen, Cappy declared war on WA if they advanced beyond Bass Strait.

 

Gina phoned the Minister for Industry, Energy and Emission Reduction, and he washed his hands of it, so ................

 

[onetrack]

....the stage was set for an invasion. As the word spread around Tasmania and the Tasmanians started to sharpen wooden stakes to use as spears, and carve realistic-looking wooden guns (out of Tassie Oak, of course) - little did the Tasmanians understand that they were dealing with a State where both the SAS, and Australia's Collins-class submarines, were based - at Swanbourne and HMAS Stirling, respectively.

 

Mark McGowan called up his old Navy boss, and also spoke to the SAS C.O. - and within hours, the full complement of Australia's currently-serviceable Collins-class submarine force (all 2 of them) were loaded up with the full complement of the Swanbourne SAS detachment, and they set sail for Tasmania, arriving 16 days later, after several in-trip repairs (the Collins-class never were noted for speed or reliability) - and upon arrival on the West Coast of Tasmania, the entire SAS detachment melted into the Tassie West Coast rainforest.

The Island was under the control of W.A. within 2 days, as the token Tasmanian resistance totally collapsed, and the carved firearms had little deterrent effect on the Afghanistan-hardened SAS troops.

 

The OIC of the invading SAS force took over the Tasmanian Parliament, and announced that the Tasmanian Parliament had just been dissolved under orders from Mark McGowan, and all Tasmanians would now be subject to W.A. laws and regulations.

Bull recoiled in horror, this was the stuff of nightmares - he'd be obliged to wear a mask now, and the likelihood of major Tassie lockdowns loomed large on the horizon.

He wasn't going to wear this, his ancestry was pure Port Arthur convict ancestry, and he was used to telling authorities where to shove their.........

 

Edited February 7, 2022 by onetrack

[CT9000]

......rules and regulations. We have very learned consultants within our ranks. Take Turbs for example with his well researched comment on the small city called Darraweit Guim in Vic north. Our chief consultant flies out of YMMB so as any thinking person would know that is in Vic so Vic will be taking over Tas and not some upstart from WA. The only small problem at the moment is that Vic needs a new chairman.......

[Captain]

34 minutes ago, CT9000 said:

......rules and regulations. We have very learned consultants within our ranks. Take Turbs for example with his well researched comment on the small city called Darraweit Guim in Vic north. Our chief consultant flies out of YMMB so as any thinking person would know that is in Vic so Vic will be taking over Tas and not some upstart from WA. The only small problem at the moment is that Vic needs a new chairman.......

....... and the 1st of the 500 panamax ore carriers of WA's precious sand were arriving in Burnie.

 

"It's a win-win" said Marky Mark "As we get rid of sand (...... oh the sand) and Tasmania will hereafter forever look like the country 200 kms east of Geraldton".

 

As the sand was offloaded in Burnie and trucked down to Zeehan, it made the Tazzy west coast even more .....

 

THE ZEEHAN GOLF COURSE AFTER THE LATEST LANDSCAPING BY GREG NORMAN.

 

 

THE NEW TASMANIAN COASTLINE BETWEEN BURNIE AND STANLEY.

Edited February 7, 2022 by Captain

[CT9000]

...... accessible as the start of filling in the ditch therefore simplifying the forced landing options for two stroke fliers travelling between Tas and the mainland......

[Captain]

1 hour ago, CT9000 said:

...... accessible as the start of filling in the ditch therefore simplifying the forced landing options for two stroke fliers travelling between Tas and the mainland......

....., a brainwave that was ceased upon by Turbine Earthmoving (Aust) P/L.

 

Turbo joined with the Dictator Dan and with that bald bloke premier with the normal ears from Tasmania that nobody can remember, to announce that TEAPL would commence construction next week of a runway width causeway from Burnie to Geelong, which would be built from purloined WA sand (..... oh the sand) which Marky Mark thought was going exclusively to build more golf courses & coastline.

 

"No more AUF Thrusters will need to ditch in the ditch" said Turbs proudly, (pinching the CT's idea) and all AUF members went "Hurrah".

 

The plans were ......

Edited February 7, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........approved by the invisible Premier, after a call from Cappy Capy His Excellency, and the runway construction started the next day. CT, a few days later was called to Tasmania, Knighted by His Excellency and give a TO (Order of Tasmania. His Excellency quietly told him never to give up trying, and with a wink told him to keep banging away at the bunnies.

 

Signs were placed in Bass Strait warnin shipping that for the convenience of Tasmanians a new road would be built across Bass Strait and shipping might incur some delays, so it would be best to leave early, and .............................

[CT9000]

34 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........approved by the invisible Premier, after a call from Cappy Capy His Excellency, and the runway construction started the next day. CT, a few days later was called to Tasmania, Knighted by His Excellency and give a TO (Order of Tasmania. His Excellency quietly told him never to give up trying, and with a wink told him to keep banging away at the bunnies.

 

Signs were placed in Bass Strait warnin shipping that for the convenience of Tasmanians a new road would be built across Bass Strait and shipping might incur some delays, so it would be best to leave early, and .............................

......consider going the long way around until the new draw bridge is completed........

[bull]

27 minutes ago, CT9000 said:

......consider going the long way around until the new draw bridge is completed........

but no real need to worry as the sand islands being built by Turbine industries will soon sink as are the other ones they finished

https://tomorrow.city/a/dubai-man-made-islands and the law suits have only just begun on those ones.  The absimal island creation record of turdine industries should be investigated by royal commission and all Turbine assets should be confiscated by the New Tazzy ragime until proof of all purchases and deed changes and zoning changes made and by whom are reported in triplicate and made freely available to the public!!!!said Bull. My god said OT what have we created here..............

On 06/02/2022 at 5:32 PM, Captain said:

AS AN ASIDE, ...... while the latter video is now quite old, it is culturally and historically relevant & important, as a young Turbo makes a brief appearance and frightens the girls at about 7 mins and 23 seconds into the video.

 

[CT9000]

.......a lawyers picnic,      but clearly the stable Aussie sand is nothing like that rubbish in the northern areas. In the cold climate of the Bass ditch the sand will clump nicely hard. Certainly compact enough to land a Thruster on, even a Drifter or a Tyro...... 

[bull]

17 minutes ago, CT9000 said:

.......a lawyers picnic,      but clearly the stable Aussie sand is nothing like that rubbish in the northern areas. In the cold climate of the Bass ditch the sand will clump nicely hard. Certainly compact enough to land a Thruster on, even a Drifter or a Tyro...... 

BREAKING NEWS;;;;;; The NES dunny read paper now reports a new scandal involving Turdine ceo Turbo and a paid fake news media individual with secret stock holdings who posted fake reassurances that the islands will not sink.[tell that to Greta !!]and under cover recordings allegedly the ceo of CT Industries and Turbo conspired to defraud the fine New state of Tazzy by using shoddy sand and coffadams and sub contracting out to old mate Chairman Dan,s civil earth moving division.The lastests updates seem to indicate that.........

Edited February 7, 2022 by bull

[onetrack]

......the W.A. sand is not at all suitable for the Bass Strait runway, and proper sand will have to be imported from the Middle East. At that news, the share price of the sand miners in Saudi Arabia shot up, while the W.A. sand miners share prices tanked. 

"This is not in Australia's best interests!", thundered Mark McGowan. "We already import enough oil from the Middle East, now we're going to import their sand! - when we already have oodles of sand here!"

 

Meantimes, there were rumblings that many of Turbine Earthmoving Ltd's operators were merely out-of-work commercial pilots, taking plant operator jobs on the side with no advanced training.

"I can't see any problem!", said Turbo as he fronted the media, over the growing rumours of unqualified plant operators in his earthmoving operations.

"If it's good enough for old truckies like myself and bull to be driving aircraft, why shouldn't ex-Qantas Captains be driving Cat D10's? There's less buttons and knobs for them to fiddle with, and even though the ground speeds are a bit slower - overall, the feel and handling of the Cat is the same as your average high-cycle-time A320, and.......

[turboplanner]

"......once you press the starter button the Laser Guidance Module (LGM) takes over the blade depth setting and directional control. The LGM was developed for WA operators who just sit there staring straight ahead, nodding their head and dribbling, so it is well suited to Airbus drivers, and ..............."

Edited February 7, 2022 by turboplanner

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

"......once you press the starter button the Laser Guidance Module (LGM) takes over the blade depth setting and directional control. The LGM was developed for WA operators who just sit there staring straight ahead, nodding their head and dribbling, so it is well suited to Airbus drivers, and ..............."

........ acceptance of the fact that an airbus driver was equivalent to a dozer operator was when the trouble really started, as one of the Dozers headed north out of Burnie, then turned left and disappeared off local radar (it appears that the driver may also have turned off the flashing orange light & reversing horns, so religious motives are being considered), never to be seen again and TEAPL were forced to fund the search which involved 7 Navys and a .........

Edited February 7, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.....team from ISLivesMatter. The driver was named as Don Bullock, a disgruntled former employee at Government House.

A week long conference by the search team at the Launceston Country Club and Casino found that the Caterpillar D11R was not fitted with a snorkel, so a crossing of Bass Strait was ruled out, and although the 104 tonne machine had left a 6.4 metre wide cut out of Burnie, cut the tops of the burrows of thousands of mutton birds and foxes, wiped out half of Cooee, flattened The Nut, rooted ancient trees in the Arthur-Pieman Park and was leaving a dead straight trail heading directly for the Gordon River, the search team opted to use a US Airforce radar operated search aircraft which returned to base 7 hours later with a frozen antenna and buckles firewall. The team went back to the Country Club to decide where to ...............

[Captain]

.... go for their regular evening pxxxup.

 

bull had invited them down to his joint (the footman would open the gates when their bus arrived) as he wanted info on the missing dozer so that he could see what odds he could get in betting against it ever being found (bull never misses an opportunity to make a quid, no matter how macabre ........ he made a fortune in betting that Tazzy Devils would kick the bucket in droves after being covered over with 30 metres of WA sand (... oh the sand) and he was right).

 

bull then turned his attention to the odds of .....

Edited February 7, 2022 by Captain

[bull]

how better the coastline now looked compared to last years trip to Bellingham.The before shot whilst camping last year and the same view now with The Turdine causeway under construction [now plaqued by cost overuns and steel quality of cofferdams and also a gambling scandal involving.......

[Captain]

2 minutes ago, bull said:

and also a gambling scandal involving.......

..... protected pygmy bluetongues, a bucket of boiling water, a straw and a balloon, all being ......

[CT9000]

......very important but for the distraction of the Gordon and lake Pedder now filled in and the mountain range near Queenstown pushed into the sea, a snorkel is not required so far when Strahan has been pushed 50nm west.......

 

side note the Strahan CTAF is now declared a MBZ {sorry CTAF R} due to the new 6000m long runway complex now being suitable for international flights

[Captain]

23 minutes ago, CT9000 said:

......very important but for the distraction of the Gordon and lake Pedder now filled in and the mountain range near Queenstown pushed into the sea, a snorkel is not required so far when Strahan has been pushed 50nm west.......

 

side note the Strahan CTAF is now declared a MBZ {sorry CTAF R} due to the new 6000m long runway complex now being suitable for international flights

..... and as a result, Turdboy's initiative to save AUF lives by them no longer needing to ditch into the ditch has backfired and resulted in all AUF flights being banned from Tasmanian airspace. "Good one Turdy" commented bull and E-Paulette.

 

However the upside is that Airbus are flying all of their thousands of A350s down to Strahan for repainting after Lou's Smash & Carbon Fibre Bogging Repairs Pty Ltd (of 26A Main St, Strahan) won the contract to ..........

 

PS - Zee Presidente of Airbus Industree commente "Zer iss now free sand down in Tazzy to sandblast zees blasted aircrafts (ohhhh ..... ze sands)

Edited February 8, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

...perform any repairs in the Stahan area. Lou, who had never seen an aircraft in his 27 years had thought

this would be a breeze quoted a flat $300 per aircraft.

 

Turbine aircraft repairs quickly realisied what had happened and took a sympthetic approach to the airlines offering mates rates of $600.00 per hour per person plus materials at cost +50%.

 

Astute readers of the NES will have noticed that Cappy has tried to cover up his spat with bull, by pretending it was Turbo's Bass Strait which tipped sand on Strahan, but nothing could be further from the truth. 

 

Thepress report said Don Bullock was driving a Cat D11R dozer from Burnie and the 6.4 metre track led to Strahan, you could see it from space. The press had misquoted; the driver was bull, and he was doing a great job of wiping out Tasmania's Tourist spots. Next was the Gordon River, these days well within the wading height of a D11R and ....................

 

 

 

[Captain]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

Thepress report said Don Bullock was driving a Cat D11R dozer from Burnie and the 6.4 metre track led to Strahan, you could see it from space. The press had misquoted; the driver was bull, and he was doing a great job of wiping out Tasmania's Tourist spots. Next was the Gordon River, these days well within the wading height of a D11R and ....................

...... while bull was a leading member of the environmental movement in Tasmania, he smiled as he wiped out many of the precious species ..... because the path that he made with his D11R blade (it was a coal blade too) had exposed 13 new gold mines, a gigantic Zinc outcrop at Zeehan Heights and a few assorted Tin deposits which became visible once the platypuses were extinguished in the line of bushfires that bull started.

 

This was all visible from the air once the A350's started to arrive, albeit that it looked like it was snowing in summer as the coating peeled off the aircraft and they ...........

 

MANY ENDANGERED BIRD AND ANIMAL SPECIES WERE HIT AND KILLED

AS THESE BITS  RAINED DOWN, SPINNING AT 350 KNOTS LIKE NINGA STAR KNIVES.

Edited February 8, 2022 by Captain