The Never Ending Story

[bull]

amazingly out of the dust arose the mighty wheezing holden as Turbo slowly climbed out not too sure what to do about the tree branches stuck on his leading edges of both wings [avref] the old holden was slowly climbing at full noise and the speed slowly increased to 60kts  ,,but that was not the only thing to increase,the old holden together by a screw in the back seat suddenly decided to let the temp guage indication increase as well.   As the needle on the temp rose so did Turbo,s temp and his ........... ...............

Edited May 11, 2022 by bull

[turboplanner]

.......a dead cow.

Now we briely covered the early days of RedCow Milk and excitement, but it's important to realise that when kids drink milk each day, Australians consume Tonnes, well they consumed Tons then, and one dead cow was the loss of half a years work. The Dairy Farmer grabbed his shotgun, jumped on his horse and headed for the wreck, but he'd left his glasses behind and had only loaded sparrow shot, and ............

[bull]

really lost the plot when he discovered that Turbo and the wreck where not on the ground but still valiantly struggling to gain height as steam started leaving a vapor trail behind the old holden.  Turbo looked down and saw a ....................

Edited May 12, 2022 by bull

[Captain]

On 12/05/2022 at 3:49 PM, bull said:

really lost the plot when he discovered that Turbo and the wreck where not on the ground but still valiantly struggling to gain height as steam started leaving a vapor trail behind the old holden.  Turbo looked down and saw a ....................

.....n opportunity to .....

[bull]

1 hour ago, Captain said:

.....n opportunity to .....

get back at the pesky farmer and pointed the old 308 at him and covered him in old engine oil and coolant by flying [avref] over his head in a low pass ,[and for the hz[avref] class of flying machine this would be about 2 ft ]  this  made the farmer ................................

Edited May 14, 2022 by bull

[onetrack]

......have to hit the ground, and roll into a ditch to avoid being hit, and the ditch he rolled into, just happened to be one full of effluent from the nearby pig farm, which certainly had an "aroma" that lingered if you came into contact with said effluent.

Unfortunately, the farmer ended up completely covered in pig effluent - which enraged him to the point of firing the shotgun at the departing HZ, which then led to Turbo having to do an evasive move at relatively low airspeed, resulting in......

[turboplanner]

......an incipient stalk, but luckily he got the 308 started again and putting out more power than ever. He was now over the University where students were the siding about rich aviators and one had actually ........

[bull]

made a anti aircraft missile and as soon as he heard Turbo,s engine he looked around and got lock and fired ,,shhhhzzzzz went the missile heading straight as a die for turbo,s HZ  and..........

[turboplanner]

.........people that day, people who had been in the RAAF and knew missiles, said Turbo was a gonnerbut they didn't know the HZ shake.

I didn't matter how tightly you held the big steering wheel, the sub frame was so flexible the car would steer by itself at roughly the camera shutter speed of a Polaroid (R) camera.

It would veer to the left, then too the right so fast that it didn't matter; HZs never left the road, and as the missile seemed to strike home the HZ was on the opposite side of the road, and as the blast occurred it was up the road and back on the other side. The student was gobsmacked; "Ni hao Wing Lo" he said "Missile go not there but ..........."

[onetrack]

....hit local Mayors Valiant Charger instead! But this wasn't any old Charger the missile hit - it was a lemon yellow RT Charger, and it was the Mayors pride and joy - well, I'd have to now say, was the Mayors pride and joy - because it was now just a smoking wreck, resembling something a Russian General had recently occupied, on the outskirts of Kyiv.

 

Someone in the gathering crowd promptly called the Mayor and let him know his pride and joy was no more. The response could be heard by many, even though the caller wasn't on speaker phone.

"He's gone and WHAT!!!???", screamed the Mayor. "Just wait, I'll be there in 10 minutes and by then, that bloke that launched that missile, had better be ready to............

[bull]

38 minutes ago, onetrack said:

....hit local Mayors Valiant Charger instead! But this wasn't any old Charger the missile hit - it was a lemon yellow RT Charger, and it was the Mayors pride and joy - well, I'd have to now say, was the Mayors pride and joy - because it was now just a smoking wreck, resembling something a Russian General had recently occupied, on the outskirts of Kyiv.

 

Someone in the gathering crowd promptly called the Mayor and let him know his pride and joy was no more. The response could be heard by many, even though the caller wasn't on speaker phone.

"He's gone and WHAT!!!???", screamed the Mayor. "Just wait, I'll be there in 10 minutes and by then, that bloke that launched that missile, had better be ready to............

face me about cutting me in on his product i want 20% or you can not use school equiptment or build on school grounds........Now 20 % might sound high but where else can u get free power and tools and with the science club fund i,m sure we can fund the start up ok? Now this took Melovturbo [,a student from Ukraine] by surprise and he sat down to talk to his financial adviser,Cappy from Turbine investment and aviation company ,after the talk Cappy stood up and said.........................

[turboplanner]

.....then fell about laughing because he had been the owner of a ........

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

.....then fell about laughing because he had been the owner of a ........

..... much maligned .....

[bull]

..local university and had stumbled on the answer to his finance problem [he was broke too many pokies] he now approached the student with a counter offer of 15 % of gross takings and his school/university was to remain as a silent partner ,[Bugger sharing half with the old dragon ,he could be heard muttering]....Now Melovturbo had done a quick [2 min] google search and had found Turbine investments and financial counceling is facing 14 federal warrents and the baileff is running around as well,So he decided he would..................

[turboplanner]

.......graduate and start the "turbine Instutute of muscle cara and aircraft" [avref].

With the lower case, he was safe from the authorities; with the degree, he and Turbo could quote each other as Sources, so anything, BS or not, the said was the Gospel truth, they could go drag racingf any time they wanted, and they could fly the old Chipmunk the Institute had bought to train students in the LAME course.

"We'll be winners all round" Turbo said, "With OT as the lecturer and CT as Campus Security, with a shotgun and an old Mustang we can offer every student .............

[onetrack]

.....a fully integrated course that gives the student a race car licence, a LAME licence, a pilots licence that covers every endorsement - and all on the one licence!

"This is a Win-Win situation for everyone", announced Turbo as he showed off the glittery green and gold licence form, which contained a Turbine Inc stamp authorising its use, in any country of the world.

"Hold on", said Cappy, "Isn't this pushing the boundaries a bit? I mean, its up to the individual countries to authorise a licence, and this seems to be overstepping sovereign authority a bit?"

"Not a problem!", said Turbo loftily, "I've already addressed this little problem, thanks to my personal friendships with most countries leaders, dictators and Presidents - and in fact, only just the other day, I was advising......

 

Edited May 18, 2022 by onetrack

[turboplanner]

........Joe Biden on how to do the all-in-one licence thing and  he asked for one so he could keep his skills up to date and volunteer to fight ...............

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........Joe Biden on how to do the all-in-one licence thing and  he asked for one so he could keep his skills up to date and volunteer to fight ...............

..... world hunger and to help those little kids in "Save the Children" adverts.

 

It is little known that those kids are bona-fide members of the Child Actor's guild, who are paid full union rates, even while they are starving themselves so as to look thin in the promos. (They are also paid a tax-free cash bonus if they allow food to dribble past their mouths).

 

"It's a great gig" said M'Becki, who has invested his acting dosh in a high-rise on NY's Central Park (next to Yoko), and is buying back US female student loans for 2 cents on the dollar, before he then .........

 

M'BECKI AT THE HEIGHT OF HIS ACTING POWER

HERE PLAYING THE FEMALE LEAD ROLL AS IMANI

(He still wears that earring, even today, when holidaying in St Moritz)

Edited May 18, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......hits up the females students for futures contacts maturing when they turn 16 to give up ..............

[bull]

the secrets of the.

 

[Captain]

.... inner sanctum of their .....

[turboplanner]

...minds to the defeat and conquering of the male species, whether in the Parliament of the Nation, out on the Stations, or taking over the lucrative jobs of Tradies who had only just a short time ago taken over from the Wool Barons. These females didn't just own Aerolites las the common people like Cappy, OneTrack, CT and bull did, but bought upmarket product like .................

[Captain]

13 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

but bought upmarket product like .........

..... Waxing Kits, which they used to remove the .....

[turboplanner]

...stubble on the jaw line which is a product of the male activity they've become involved in since WWII, when they knew enough to stay in the kitchen, chop the head off a chook, arrange flowers or play gold where ..........

[Captain]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

...stubble on the jaw line which is a product of the male activity they've become involved in since WWII, when they knew enough to stay in the kitchen, chop the head off a chook, arrange flowers or play gold where ..........

.... , in the rarified air of Melbournistan society, nobody can really be sure who is a bloke and who is a blokette, but then again as Turbo has always said (strongly supported by that CT from DG) "If it feels good, do it, and don't look too closely."

 

And as has been proven by Turbo's conquests over the years, his motto being "With that mantra and a waxing kit you can do ........

 

THE TURBINE INDUSTRIES WAXING KIT

(THIS ONE IS FOR TEAL CANDIDATES ..... WITH VARIOUS SHADES OF RED,

& CHILLI INFUSION, ALSO AVAILABLE DEPENDANT ON YOUR SOCIALIST TENDANCIES)

Edited May 18, 2022 by Captain