Guest john Posted October 18, 2012 Share Posted October 18, 2012 John Williamson sings a song titled Everyman Needs a Shed. Recently I requisitioned a board meeting under the bed sheets with the Minister of Finance to obtain funds & authority for the purchase of a classic motorbike that are as scarce as rocking horse shit in Australia. Since my days left on this planet are less ahead of me than behind me, I decided that instead of spraining my back with horizontal exercises as ordered by my Doctor, I would try some different exercises by sitting on a stool to restore this classic bike. When the motion was submited to the Minister of Finance for the abovementioned purchase, I voted unanimiously for the motion, however her honour rejected the motion, & furthermore she stated that there will be severe repercussions if the transaction went ahead. When I asked her honour what sort of repercussions would be forthcoming this is what I was told: 1. The keys to the love shack will be witheld 2. Sleeping quarters will be out in the shed 3. Visitation rights will only be on limited occasions. I thought to myself "you Beauty", however I was still unable to obtain the required funding approval for the classic bike. It then dawned on me that the Minister of Finance once instructed me many years ago to adhere to the instructions of our once esteemed Prime Minister Malcolm Fraser who told everybody that the safest place to keep your money "is under the bed". I then remembered that some years ago I placed an old hessian bag under the unused bed in the 3rd bedroom with some funny money in the bag which we had forgotten about. I therefore sneaked into the 3rd bedroom, looked under the bed & sure enough the hessian bag was still there. I dragged the bag out, untied it & sure enough there was the funny money , which was enough to proceed with this abovementioned transaction. Unbeknowns to the Minister of Finance I went ahead & purchased the classic bike. The old saying of "Truth is stranger than Fiction" occurred because her honour decided coincidentally to spring clean the 3rd bedroom, & when her honour cleaned under the unused bed she observed that the old hessian bag & its contents didn't exist. Her honour confronted me directly, at which time I could tell from the expression on her face without her saying a word, that I was in deep shit. I am an honest person even if others differ, & I told her with head bowed what I had done with the funny money. Her instant reply was nothing short of "The commencement of World War 3 " I got down on my hands & Knees & told her honour that there is no point in crying over spilt milk, which went down like a lead balloon. I now realise that I have committed the unforgiveable sin & have been relegated to the shed . I have relocated a comfortable bed in the shed, & a stool to sit on where I can sit & gaze at the classic bike which will now become the first love of my life. The only thing that I now won't be able to do is take the bike to bed with me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted October 18, 2012 Share Posted October 18, 2012 Just have a look around here for the various oils recommended for engines, and you'll soon be able to do that! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mark11 Posted October 18, 2012 Share Posted October 18, 2012 It's funny how we know our woman needs to manage finances.... I'm glad you got the bike... Time will heal the wounds I've had my fair share of explaining to do... Feel like a used car salesman sometimes If not to my wife - to my parents, whom if I lived under their rules I'd do nothing but pay off my home loan 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
facthunter Posted October 18, 2012 Share Posted October 18, 2012 My wife rides the old bikes, so I am lucky there. She doesn't clean or oil them but nothing's perfect. Men DO need their sheds. It's a man thing. It's natural, and shouldn't be seen as a threat. There's only one answer to "either that BIKE goes or I do". You win on both fronts then. Nev 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sapphire Posted October 18, 2012 Share Posted October 18, 2012 The house has become your penitentiary and the shed freedom-I know which I would take. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyle Communications Posted October 18, 2012 Share Posted October 18, 2012 You just need to find a woman like my wife...when I told her the price of the aircraft kit I wanted to build in my shed...she said...no dramas get it...the only concession was I could play with my aircraft all I wanted so long as I was back in the bedroom by 9.30pm....I thought that was fair and reasonable ....and my sex life didnt change at all ....but I will qualify my situation...my wife thinks like a guy....very logical...they are a very rare beast...all my mates want to know if she has a sister like her Mark Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyle Communications Posted October 18, 2012 Share Posted October 18, 2012 I wouldn't know what to do with myself without my sheds....I have 3 of them Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sapphire Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 [quote="Kyle Communications, post: 247766, member: 1910" ....and my sex life didnt change at all Mark That may change as you get stuck into the building-beware of a/c with big pitot tubes......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyle Communications Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 The aircraft is built and flown but I still make sure I am inside at 9.30 pm...to keep her happy with my little pitot tube Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sapphire Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 https://www.recreationalflying.com/xf2/uploads/emoticons/029_crazy.gif.9816c6ae32645165a9f09f734746de5f.gif[/img] Gee Kyle, you need to think big. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pudestcon Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 The aircraft is built and flown but I still make sure I am inside at 9.30 pm...to keep her happy with my little pitot tube Do you remove the cover before flying? Pud Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sapphire Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 Do you remove the cover before flying?Pud If not, his asi will go haywire and he wont know if he is on top or bottom:roflmao: this could be another never ending story. Anyways, got to go sailing..................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rankamateur Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 If not, his asi will go haywire and he wont know if he is on top or bottom:roflmao: this could be another never ending story. Anyways, got to go sailing..................... Then he won't be able to see the far end of the runway, won't know when to flare. That's got to cause a big bounce or two. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pudestcon Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 Then he won't be able to see the far end of the runway, won't know when to flare. That's got to cause a big bounce or two. Or bury him deeper:yikes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kyle Communications Posted October 19, 2012 Share Posted October 19, 2012 Hey you all know its not the size of the dog in the fight and I don't mind bouncing those tyres off the runway Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deskpilot Posted October 20, 2012 Share Posted October 20, 2012 Ever visited here before? Some ideas, big and small. Mostly expensive. http://www.garagejournal.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=7 Take your time, there's a load of them to view. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sapphire Posted October 20, 2012 Share Posted October 20, 2012 There is one shed 3800 sq ft. Great for my dream Weedhopper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
allowera Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 Congratulations John. In my case, I bought my dream motorcycle near new. As a young man I rode it lots until I found a girl. Time was reallocated and a couple of serious problems developed. One rendered the resale value of said cycle to near zero and the other made me a dad. So my bike went into a farm shed (which later collapsed on it) with the hope that some day..... I had been squirelling parts away for over ten years until my youngest turned 21. Then, six weeks ago, it started for the first time in 26 years. The bike has been registered for a month and I have travelled over 3000 Km. People have told me that " it's a long way round to get a classic motorcycle". You know, I think it was worth the wait. Happy days. Paul. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cooperplace Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 John Williamson sings a song titled Everyman Needs a Shed.Recently I requisitioned a board meeting under the bed sheets with the Minister of Finance to obtain funds & authority for the purchase of a classic motorbike that are as scarce as rocking horse **** in Australia. Since my days left on this planet are less ahead of me than behind me, I decided that instead of spraining my back with horizontal exercises as ordered by my Doctor, I would try some different exercises by sitting on a stool to restore this classic bike. When the motion was submited to the Minister of Finance for the abovementioned purchase, I voted unanimiously for the motion, however her honour rejected the motion, & furthermore she stated that there will be severe repercussions if the transaction went ahead. When I asked her honour what sort of repercussions would be forthcoming this is what I was told: 1. The keys to the love shack will be witheld 2. Sleeping quarters will be out in the shed 3. Visitation rights will only be on limited occasions. I thought to myself "you Beauty", however I was still unable to obtain the required funding approval for the classic bike. It then dawned on me that the Minister of Finance once instructed me many years ago to adhere to the instructions of our once esteemed Prime Minister Malcolm Fraser who told everybody that the safest place to keep your money "is under the bed". I then remembered that some years ago I placed an old hessian bag under the unused bed in the 3rd bedroom with some funny money in the bag which we had forgotten about. I therefore sneaked into the 3rd bedroom, looked under the bed & sure enough the hessian bag was still there. I dragged the bag out, untied it & sure enough there was the funny money , which was enough to proceed with this abovementioned transaction. Unbeknowns to the Minister of Finance I went ahead & purchased the classic bike. The old saying of "Truth is stranger than Fiction" occurred because her honour decided coincidentally to spring clean the 3rd bedroom, & when her honour cleaned under the unused bed she observed that the old hessian bag & its contents didn't exist. Her honour confronted me directly, at which time I could tell from the expression on her face without her saying a word, that I was in deep ****. I am an honest person even if others differ, & I told her with head bowed what I had done with the funny money. Her instant reply was nothing short of "The commencement of World War 3 " I got down on my hands & Knees & told her honour that there is no point in crying over spilt milk, which went down like a lead balloon. I now realise that I have committed the unforgiveable sin & have been relegated to the shed . I have relocated a comfortable bed in the shed, & a stool to sit on where I can sit & gaze at the classic bike which will now become the first love of my life. The only thing that I now won't be able to do is take the bike to bed with me. what sort of bike? I could understand all this trouble for a, say, Ducati 750 sport. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest john Posted October 21, 2012 Share Posted October 21, 2012 what sort of bike? I could understand all this trouble for a, say, Ducati 750 sport. Hi Cooperplace, 1956 Triumph Speed twin, pre-unit, swing arm model:scooter: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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