farri Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 SIMPLE TRUTH 1 Lovers help each other undress before sex, however, after sex, they always dress on their own. Moral of the story: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed. SIMPLE TRUTH 2 When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and say, "Congrats",but none of them come and touch the man's penis and say, "Good job". Moral of the story: "Hard work is never appreciated." FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE 1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle. 2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the ass-hole's name. 3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again. 4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them. 5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk. Bonus: Condoms don't guarantee safe sex. A friend of mine was wearing one, when he was shot by the woman's husband. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rankamateur Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle. I always said Money doesn't buy happiness, just a sh**load of distractions form your misery! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sapphire Posted January 24, 2013 Share Posted January 24, 2013 Now we have to apply all that to flying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cscotthendry Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 #3 Absolutely TRUE!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sapphire Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 #4 sounds pretty realistic and who follows the rules all the time? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomo Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 Actually Corvette's are pretty uncomfortable!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sapphire Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 Actually Corvette's are pretty uncomfortable!! Depends what you do in them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
nomadpete Posted January 25, 2013 Share Posted January 25, 2013 Wait a minute - this is definately off topic. These aren't jokes - they're axioms! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
planedriver Posted January 26, 2013 Share Posted January 26, 2013 SIMPLE TRUTH 1 Lovers help each other undress before sex, however, after sex, they always dress on their own. Moral of the story: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed. SIMPLE TRUTH 2 When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and say, "Congrats",but none of them come and touch the man's penis and say, "Good job". Moral of the story: "Hard work is never appreciated." FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE 1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle. 2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the ass-hole's name. 3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again. 4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them. 5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk. Bonus: Condoms don't guarantee safe sex. A friend of mine was wearing one, when he was shot by the woman's husband. You're a bad man Frank, leading us innocent folk astray. I love it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomo Posted January 27, 2013 Share Posted January 27, 2013 Depends what you do in them. That's true... I've driven a couple, they go pretty hard, but rough as and could do with a better seating arrangement! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
alf jessup Posted January 30, 2013 Share Posted January 30, 2013 That's true... I've driven a couple, they go pretty hard, but rough as and could do with a better seating arrangement! What Tomo, You slipping down between the seams of the stitching lol. Alf Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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