Captain Posted May 29, 2014 Share Posted May 29, 2014 .......... the two hot Hosties that were lounging behind them. "I have seen St Madge, as the French say, 'paralitique' and 'in flagrante delicto'." said one of the Hosties to his associate, "And that doesn't look too ..................... Ma tante reckons that Andy will soon look like St Madge in that photo in post # 9072 if he gets elected in the next poll. And she reckons that it will take a big effort to fill THAT hat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted May 29, 2014 Share Posted May 29, 2014 ".....good, I can tell you, and the fragrance was how you say........." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bandit12 Posted May 29, 2014 Share Posted May 29, 2014 ".....on the nose, which coincidentally was how Group Captain U. Jean coached his students in Bass Strait navigation. "Just keep that big flashing Eye in Melbourne on the nose on she'll be right" he said to Turbo, who was in for a bit of refresher training after it was revealed that he got lost on the way to....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted May 29, 2014 Share Posted May 29, 2014 "..... after it was revealed that he got lost on the way to....... ........ the corner shop to buy some condom-ants, but he ended up nowhere near the Melbourne off-white eye, and was in .......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted May 29, 2014 Share Posted May 29, 2014 .......Mia Mia via Umbillico, Jacksons Hole, Watsons Gully, and the post office box at Outer Nothing using his newly purchased GPS with Romanian Maps, and then....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted May 29, 2014 Share Posted May 29, 2014 .......Mia Mia via Umbillico, Jacksons Hole, Watsons Gully, and the post office box at Outer Nothing using his newly purchased GPS with Romanian Maps, and then....... .......... Roman, an adonis like lad in an chamois lap-lap, stepped out into the street in front of Tink's 'Vette. "I-a see-a that-a you have been lured into-a my trap-a, Turdboy, so just-a join-a the rest of the blokes over there who bought the Romanian maps package from Wreck Frying's Murky Plop-Shop as part of-a their ............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob Llewellyn Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 .......... Roman, an adonis like lad in an chamois lap-lap, stepped out into the street in front of Tink's 'Vette. "I-a see-a that-a you have been lured into-a my trap-a, Turdboy, so just-a join-a the rest of the blokes over there who bought the Romanian maps package from Wreck Frying's Murky Plop-Shop as part of-a their ............ complete avionics upgrade-a pack, har har....Uurgh!", as he was struck down by a well-flung VFR Flight Guide, much to the surprise of the thrower... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bandit12 Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 ....who had been trying to lose some weight to climb out of ground effect in his...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob Llewellyn Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 ....who had been trying to lose some weight to climb out of ground effect in his...... 277 powered Condor, which didn't have the aspect ratio of the Pterodactyl Pterminal, but also didn't have the exciting wing flex - and the PP couldn't have flown down the street anyway. As the cries of "rev you little b%&%*&%" (familiar to all in the early UL scene) faded, the 'vette surged fowards and did excruciating damage to... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 277 powered Condor, which didn't have the aspect ratio of the Pterodactyl Pterminal, but also didn't have the exciting wing flex - and the PP couldn't have flown down the street anyway. As the cries of "rev you little b%&%*&%" (familiar to all in the early UL scene) faded, the 'vette surged fowards and did excruciating damage to... ........... to the fence that the Condor was attempting clear (another familiar activity from the glorious AUF R&T days). "Thank the f'n Q Deity (bless his little polyester socks) that Tubb stepped in" said the uncertificated but brave Pilot (sic) (another AvRef & familiar activity of the glorious AUF R&T days), as that fence was ................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob Llewellyn Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 ........... to the fence that the Condor was attempting clear (another familiar activity from the glorious AUF R&T days). "Thank the f'n Q Deity (bless his little polyester socks) that Tubb stepped in" said the uncertificated but brave Pilot (sic) (another AvRef & familiar activity of the glorious AUF R&T days), as that fence was ................. cyclone netting, which had an affect rather like a cheese grater on any impacting ultralights. The 'vette sped away, fishtailing wildly, and Madge fell out. Two ofOuter Nothing's finest looked down at him, and said... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 ".............what is your name?" Now as we know, Madge had been programmed to say nothing by experts which would leave the CIA, NKVD, Stasi, ASIO, Mossad, and even Aunt Flo in their dust, and he remained mute, which............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob Llewellyn Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 ".............what is your name?"Now as we know, Madge had been programmed to say nothing by experts which would leave the CIA, NKVD, Stasi, ASIO, Mossad, and even Aunt Flo in their dust, and he remained mute, which............ ...got right up the noses of the men in blue. "Refusing to co-operate, eh?" said the first, unlimbering his nightstick and bringing it down sharply onto... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 Madge's stiffly extended skid (avref), and Madge......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 Madge's stiffly extended skid (avref), and Madge......... .......... then turned the other cheek ........... so the Walloper hit him there as well with considerable gusto (for his name was Gus). St Madge of the blessed RAA fell to his knees from the blows then turned 90 degrees and exposed his buttocks. "What are you doing now, you clown?" said the Copper who was a tad homophobic and before looking at Madge's exposed clacker had thought that he had seen everything (including having witnessed Rodger Rogerson delivering the annual Bob Askin/Henry Bolte lecture on Police Corruption with a straight face.) "I'm turning more cheeks" St Madge replied "It's what Deities are supposed to do, according to the Deities Australia Operations Manual and what's more, after you pummel these last 2 beautiful pink firm cheeks, the DA Ops Manual says that I must ................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andys@coffs Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 wring my hands, tell you "we got it wrong" and "It will never happen again" and finally we have to write to the membership putting all concepts of procedural fairness aside and tell them........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bandit12 Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 .....that none of it was real anyway, that they had been plugged into the Matrix the whole time, and that they should have chosen the red pill. "But I don't like reality" exclaimed Madge, as he launched himself into the sky wearing little more than the aforementioned 277, and three white feathers attached with molasses, tar being too expensive these days. "Just wait till he comes down" said BobtheBuilder "and learns that he hasn't really been flying at all, and has actually been...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 ..........flagellating buttocks, and......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andys@coffs Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 Some people don't get NES, that is clear, but I must, like a few of you have a warped sense of humour, NES is good for a smile on my dial at least once per day if not more....wish there were more warped folk but, then the tangents we would depart for......who knows where we will go next!! but back to Tubsy's point...... groveling while whimpering" I'm a major...he was a major....but I get no respect or authoritaaay! I must be a........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted May 30, 2014 Share Posted May 30, 2014 ,,,,Sergeant Major because they aren't a real Major at all as a real (but never proved) Major once said when...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bandit12 Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 ....your Gypsy Major fails, you know that you are in for a..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 ....your Gypsy Major fails, you know that you are in for a..... ...... a bloody short glide. "I thought that he was a Morris Major (the one with the little light behind the name badge at the top of the grill)." said Salty. "More like a major disappointment" responded Nanna "As you would think that a Deity could keep going for longer than the life of a 2200 thru-bolt." For Nanna had spent a fair bit of time ............... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bob Llewellyn Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 ...... a bloody short glide. "I thought that he was a Morris Major (the one with the little light behind the name badge at the top of the grill)." said Salty. "More like a major disappointment" responded Nanna "As you would think that a Deity could keep going for longer than the life of a 2200 thru-bolt." For Nanna had spent a fair bit of time ............... ...trying to keep Madge going, but at last had given up and settled for a Mudlet Chockake and strong coffee; so strong that the trembling of her hands as she overhauled the local flying school's engines changed the nuts from octagonal to 16-pointed. "16 pointed nuts?" mused Ratso, as he tried to determine the point of his nuts, when suddenly... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Andys@coffs Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 she had that Ding! moment.....J have moved to 16 point nuts in an attempt to hide problems using the well known marketing stratagem of BSBafflesBrains and Nana could suddenly see her future retirement income going through the roof. I need to make and Market to the Jabiru Set an engine additive......I'll call it........"Run4Long" and have a disclaimer on the back that says it'll only run4long if the engine is maintained by the owner IAW the Jab manuals...and we all know that doesn't happen, just ask a certain cane harvester engineer......Perhaps I can use the well known and tried statement "for all that ails your engine!" I'll get Eeeeen to add it to clearplop and........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted May 31, 2014 Share Posted May 31, 2014 ......... it will sell like hot-cross buns in Mecca during Ramadan, when ............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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