turboplanner Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 Turbo couldn't help pointing out to Slartiblaster that DirtyPete had commended Crapitaine's comment which Turbo thought was in bad taste/racial/politically incorrect, and some distance from where the events happened (seeking to avoid a future banning should he misspell something) Swiftly ducking, he put some nice dance music on using a CD given to him as a Christmas present by Boogiesworth. What a mistake - the language coming out of the CD Player would have the King turning in his grave, and then probably sitting up to listen. It was true though - poor old Slartiblaster has to work and work in the background like a British Censor while we have all the fun, and he should get recognition for his hard work. I'm not quite sure what he meant about molesting a goat, and have to warn him that we're not having any of that on this site, however, as I said, he should be suitably recognised, so for those who have joined this forum after The Event, I would like to point out that our famous Slartiheliblast has achieved, in a Sheeter mind you, a vertical landing usually carried out by a Black Hawk after the guys have had a night out. The resulting pattern on the ground inspired a new agricultural implement called the Slarifier which was much more efficient during seeding, and stopped the tractor on a dime (shekel) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 Welcome back Boogger. Nice to see that you are about to post back on this thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 At least you guys stopped hounding me about a certain vertical landing.I dunno. You work your guts out for the site and nothing. But molest one goat, and they never let you forget it. In Ross's defence I have to say that it is a particularly attractive goat, based on the couple of photos that he has in his wallet (not that there is anything wrong with that). "What" said RSPCAPete "I'd like to .................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 ..know is why the goat is wearing lipstick?".... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahlocks Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 ..."What" said RSPCAPete "I'd like to .................... ...catch and sacrifice that goat to appease the doGs (dishlu...leshdix...dyslexia, remember?) to stop these dirty minded buggas from being so ribald!! ================== think pure thoughts :yuk:....think pure thoughts :yuk:.... Ahhhhh (oops! Didn't work) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 ..know is why the goat is wearing lipstick?".... The photos (and video) were taken when the goat was going through a particularly vulnerable phase, after a breakup. However the real scandal is that I am not at all sure that the goat is female. "What" repeated RSCPAPete (for he was also an animal accountant) "I will .............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahlocks Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 "...count to ten (CPA, count...:big_grin::confused:) and if that goat tamperer doesn't give up that capra geisha :heart: , there be more trouble than a bingleswort in an OH&S meeting...." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 ...sue Crapitaine for palming it off as Riverland Lass on steroids. "I should have known by the hoofs and those horns. "Where are my glasses dear?..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 Mayor Williams had logged on to the site after being asked by journalist jock Paul Dribble for his comments about the town being turned b:censored:, which many residents had said was a distinct improvement, even if they did have to move out for a week or so. “It must be a wild town, that Eucla” said Paul, “I’d like to write a story about it” “It’s Echu…” said the mayor, but he was cut off by Mr Dribble. “Please cover your mouth when you sneeze” he said “I’m always catching something in the office – usually the Editor’s boot” Mayor Williams made another attempt: “Now that Echuca’s new landscaping is complete, we are about to announce an event which will be bigger than November 2007 when Campaspe Shire lost the fight to stop the Echuca Brothel” he said “You have a new what?’’ said Dribble, missing the point as usual, but Mayor Williams was too quick for him. “We’re going to have a fly in” he said “Ah, you mean 747’s, F16’s…that sort of thing” said Paul who was experienced in aviation matters. Mayor Williams was beginning to wish he’d stayed out on the property crutching sheep but made one more effort. “No, they will be Ultralights/Recreational Aircraft/Light Aircraft/Wingy Thingys” he said “and we’re going to line the streets with thongs and a guy called GreatPete has set aside 300 hectares south of the town for an event we feel will rival Woodstock” “Will any of them crash” said Dribble, his pulse quickening. “All of them” said the Mayor “Pete’s conned them into thinking it’s his back yard, but it’s really the holding paddocks for the sale yards, and we’ll have three thousand head of over eating Poll Herefords in there the day before, not that there is anything wrong with that” he smirked. Dribble, who’d been told by his sub editor that the next time he was hung out to dry he was going to ensure Dribble got the tiny tot beauty contest to cover decided to stay on for the event. “They seem a nice enough bunch” he thought, “even if a bit slow." Little did he know what was in store for him, as Ahlovak lined up the needle nose of the CzStar on the b:censored: haze over Echuca…. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 .....the holding paddocks for the sale yards, and we’ll have three thousand head of over eating Poll Herefords in there …. "Ah" said Slarti "Fresh meat (with no attachment issues). Bring the cameras ahlocks" "You just ........................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahlocks Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 Now Alovak was now concerned of the Slartster's 'friend', Baaaabara Bartfast, :ah_oh: Owing to the often seen portrayal of goats eating tin cans!:ah_oh::ah_oh: "Bloody 'hellsky!" Lovak sputtered (sounding a bit like a sheeter with fuel problems) that tin muncher could eat a whole spurtztsar if left to her own devices. "p'raps trainedkillerPete should dispatch it with his old army blunderbus...." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 But trainedkiller Pete wasn't biting. He'd cut his hair short, joined Jenny Craig, bought some moleskins and a light blue denim short and spent a squillion dollars at the RMW store on boots, belt and an ear ring, although he realised he would have to hide the earring when the Utes came to town. He walked down the centre of the town, hips swinging the way John Wayne's used to do, living up to the name Mayor Williams had bestowed on him BigThong.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest palexxxx Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 He walked down the centre of the town, hips swinging the way John Wayne's used to do, living up to the name Mayor Williams had bestowed on him BigThong.... .....the wind whistled, a solitary tumbleweed blew across the road in front of truegritPete. thedukePete stopped in his tracks when he saw the lone figure standing in the middle of the road before him. It was twobobsworth standing with his head bowed, his black hat obscuring his eyes, both hands at his sides, inches from the pearl handled Colt 45's nestled in their holsters slung from his hips. "Twobobsworth, I thought I told you this town was not big enough for the likes of you." said orneryPete ............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 Twobobsworth sneered: "You wouldn't even know what a Turing test is" he said I came on line today and had a peek at your weak posts and I'm not impressed "Fill your hand with sixgun" OutofPracticeandUnrehearsedPete had been reading his new press too much. His hand flashed to his hip, his eyes glinted for an instant, then opened wide in horror as he realised all he had in his hand was his thong. Hi Caroline he yelled, looking over twobobsworth's shoulder. Now Caroline had moved from Karratha to Derby by twobobsworth didn't know that and spun around in surprise. thedukePete got his thong around twobob's throat and started to garrot him. "Pooh!" said two bob "What the hell is that" breaking away with a superhuman effort and immediately diving into the McMurray. That's not exactly what he said, but he was on his best behaviour at present. Echuca wasn't going to be the same now he had a rival (well he would if twobob would post something), and this town wasn't big enough for three of them (paley had checked in at the Riverside Pub) His next plan of atack was.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahlocks Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 ...His next plan of atack was.... ...to throw the book at BrokenthongPete.:ah_oh::ah_oh: But alas, the UBD 'atlas' of Echewka(gesundheit) that bingles :black_eye: had used to find his way there, didn't carry far in the wind.:confused: "Next time try a Melways!" taunted BarefootPete (who had taken to wearing an undergarment on his left foot.) "'least then if you don't use it, it still makes a good weapon!" :thumb_up: "I now sentence you to twenty three verses of kumbayah :yuk: for penence and...." =================== HoudiniPete is slipping past many set traps Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigPete Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 Hang on a minute - time out. Now I know that sometimes it's a bit hard to follow the NES but, :yuk: Why would I throw the book at myself Read post #865 carefully. There's only two people there. Me and BigLes2centsWorthless. i_dunno Caroline wasn't really there. (I just said she was) :confused: and Paley was in the pub (as always). :ah_oh: So....... Is this a plot hatched by Bollocks :black_eye: (and put up by SlartiHarrierWhoops (master of the vertical landing) :yuk: (who is also in the Captains :heart: pocket 'cause he didn't throw him in the cooler)) :broken_heart:or there's two or more of me. :thumb_up::thumb_up::thumb_up: Wow - MultiPersonalityPete, :) master of the emoticons and more alias than Dick Tracey ("Hey, got any string on yer Dick" his girlfriend asked one day), (What do you think it is?" he replied, "A bloody Yo-yo!) Well, sorry, no time for more. Dinners on the table and we're hungry. regards :big_grin::big_grin: OMG - this is my 1000 post Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 "I now sentence you to twenty three verses of kumbayah :yuk: for penence and...." "Sorry Boll" said reflectivePete "I'm not sure I have another 23 years, in fact I not that sure that I can do anything 23 times before I feel faint ..... including posts to the NES, or fighting to hold my 160 on full right rudder after each landing" "Who do you reckon will make post #1000 to the NES, statisticianPete?" asked Le Crapp. "Geeeez, that'll cause some competition Skipper" courteousPete replied. "But what happened to your face?" Le Crapp asked Peter "Was that caused by the Camomile tea, the exploding thong area or the face plants in the tunnels in Nam?" "It doesn't really matter if I was in the story on my own" said selfabusePete (after 1 and he was starting to feel faint) "It was the ..................... Pete's (used) thong is in the garden (McErky McPerky again) with Slartihotphotoshop's pics Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 This is 40 posts to the NES so far today. You blokes have got a bit of a problem. "No we haven't. Slarti made us do it so that Le Crapp's naughty post would be submerged in the welter of worldly witticisms & it's just ..................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigPete Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 ...to crappy :yuk: (weather wise) to fly and we're all bored (and still on holidays). :thumb_up::thumb_up: (this makes 41). regards :big_grin: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 "...that you cleared the town after drinking that Camomile" "Now you're eating again, so we don't know what to expect or where to tread as the shadows lengthen, so it's little wonder we've all got our eyes in your direction" said Turbo "It has been a big day hasn't it, with NES writhing in as many directions as a windsock at Rodds Bay"... Just then there was a flash of yellow and from left field at precisely 120 feet and all of 17 knots came.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Geoff1563861416 Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 To all from Geoff still at work this is 42 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Geoff1563861416 Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 Bugger:angry: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 Bugger:angry: said Jabba the Hut, who normally didn't swear, particularly when Slartihalfmast was lurking around, "forgot to turn on to final;ah well I'll just stall on from 120 feet while playing with the ruddder - it's fun!." The Corbet Startle sank like a feather, and Geoff, who usually required the whole Mildura runway, which was built for B29 bombers during the war (not the Phic Thoy one) as well as about five hundred acres immediately to the left, marvelled at the skill of this daredevil - even more so since Jabba had never risen to the bait. "Where's the party?" asked Jabba. "You're in Mildura, not Echeega" replied Geoff "You've done a Googleworth and flown straight over the top of it" "No he was right", said Jabba "all I could see from Tumut to Tocumwal was a brown stain - no features to navigate by" "Not correct" said Geoff and he was about to go down the path which stated with the drink of Camomile when he realised Slartihalfmast, incensed by further references to his agricultural pursuits could be watching. "Care for a cuppa, old son?" he asked.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BLA82 Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 Nah, I will stick to water he replied, I can't be to much of a Googlesworth, Slartihalfmast is going to teach me how to navigate by counting the...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ahlocks Posted January 22, 2009 Share Posted January 22, 2009 ...Now I know that sometimes it's a bit hard to follow the NES but, :yuk: Why would I throw the book at myself Read post #865 carefully. There's only two people there. Me and BigLes2centsWorthless. i_dunno It wasn't biglets planning the attack? i_dunno:sad: Aw bugga Oh well, you're now getting twice the attention. Got to be happy with that. :thumb_up: =========== The alarm of La Crapee went off from the storm Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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