The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

…...…...…… now paying the price, by being mobbed by the LMBTQFJB community, but Turbs, who was now an intimate (erkyref) member (perkyref) & leader of that community, such that Onesie, Heidi and Salty felt the need to counsel Turbo about the dangers of unprotected ....................

 

BELOW IS THE ACTUAL MASK THAT THE SADDLER MADE FOR TURBO.

YOU CAN SEE WHY MANY OF THE "COMMUNITY" WERE KEEN TO LINE UP BEHIND HIM.

(FOR THE MUSICALLY INCLINED, IT WAS MADE BY THE TENTERFIELD SADDLER

AND TURBO INSTANTLY BECAME PETER ALLEN, RUBBING HIS MARACAS

IN A VERY PROVOCATIVE MANNER).

 

BELOW IS TURBS DURING HIS TIME PLAYING PETE ON BROADWAY.

THAT OUTFIT AND WHAT HE DOES TO HIMSELF & OTHERS WITH BOTH

ENDS OF THOSE MARACAS ARE A FAVE AMONGST THE "COMMUNITY".

(ALSO PLEASE NOTE HIS FAKE CHEST).

Edited April 18, 2020 by Captain

[turboplanner]

...dancing, and misuse [avref] of Maracas. Not many people know it takes seven years to train a good Maraca dancer. The first year is a write off because of hit maracas and it takes a couple of weeks to be able to dance with the pain of brused maracas, and there's always the chance of another unplanned hit, but by the seventh year they can usually dance the night away without damage to their maracas, although when a hit does occur the scream drowns out the band, which often........

[onetrack]

....just keeps playing, as hits are very common when you have partly-trained Maraca players, as Turbo is.

However, as Turbo has Mexican ancestry, there is hope that he will turn out to be a good Maraca player, and won't have to keep impersonating Peter Allen.

 

Of course, only a few people know that Turbo has Mexican ancestry. This is because he prefers to keep that part of his family history secret, due to longstanding tensions between his family and some families in NSW, who fought in the Mexican Wars, and who would love to "even the score" if they found all about Turbos family roots and secrets.

 

Of course, Turbo has to be very careful, because he sometimes accidentally slips into Mexican vernacular, such is the strong strain of Mexican in him.

He's been overheard to accidentally say things such as, "güey", "No manches!", "¡Órale!", and "Eres un pinche idiota, Cappy!!" - which goes right over Cappys head, of course.

 

Then there was the day he was in Sydney, and he accidentally met up with an American acquaintance from New Mexico, and soon they were......

[hihosland]

....arguing vehemently over which salt to use on the rim of a tequila glass, rock, sea, himalayian pink or iodised ?

 

Half way through the second bottle Cappy reverting to his mother tongue spluttered "...............

[turboplanner]

..........

لماذا يتحدث الهيب هوب دائمًا عن أجدادي؟

und............

[Captain]

...…….. but then your Captain could not respond further as he needs to make a presentation to Scott and all of the State Premiers who are looking for his guidance on the recovery of the economy.

 

They have also asked their Captain for a background briefing on Turbine Enterprises (TE), not because they want to be involved in TE, but because they are seeking an alternative view to that presented by the AFP, who as the Skipper understands it, have reported that TE are affiliated with George Soros, the Eastern Transvaal Freedom Front (ETFF), ISIS, the bloke who designed the tail of the Bristell, that TE were the subcontractor who designed the software for Boeing on the 737 Max and that TE were a key advisor to the WHO.

 

But Turbo had been speaking with both Onetrack & Heidi about the details of the …………...

[turboplanner]

.....questions they were asking his known associates, and he knew he was safe. He had once tracked a Scottish developer who wanted to build slums on a historic battle site. He managed to pay off the Council, two Heritage bodies, a Newspaper and the Council, but a lowly Council Planning Officer had put a clause in which required the developer to hire an independent Arcaeologist to excavate the site to search for any Battle Inventory (which is a Scottish name for dead bodies, and smething for us to remember when discussing an aircraft crash. A pilot doesn't die, he becomes "aviation inventory", or if he is suffering from serious burns he is in a state of aviation transition).

Turbo, who knows a smart alec when he sees on searched for the directors of Totally Independent and Caring for Battle Inventory Archaeology Ltd, and found it was owned by Southern Careful Excavations Ltd, which was owned by Quick and Nasty Earthmovers Ltd (QANE) and QANE was owned by the Deveoper and his wife. Nu the time Turbo had dragged him into the Scottish Ministers he'd lost his forthcoming knighthood and been made to recompense 42 previous land holders.

Turbo learnt from this and Turbine Enterprises had seven easily traceable sequential owners leading up to TE(Kirribas) Pty Ltd which had no internet, and only held paper records TE(kirribas) Pty Ltd was owned by Turbo and a few associates and had been registered as such, but an unfortunate fire ripped through the Hut of Records one night, and now no one had any idea who owned TE (Kirribas) Pty Ltd, but investigators remarked how generous they were with the salaries paid to Turbo and .............

[hihosland]

..............Mavis/Mavette in regular monthly installments via the gaming machine account of the Ruby Princess. This state of affairs (Turbo ref) the investigation team labeled very fishy and decidedly fishy beyond any hand sanitizer's propensity for laundering of money or even of Turbo's socks, especially Turbo's socks since they ..............................

[Captain]

....... really do pong worse than a Wuhan Wet Market.

 

Heidi was very interested to learn that Kirribas only dealt in paper records as he was well aware from his shonky dealings in the 60s of how useful it is to be able to claim fire or flood as the reasons for his lack of tax records ...... and it saves him from claiming for the 6th time "that the dog ate my receipts" ................. ("The dog ate my cloud files" never seemed to work so well during Heidi's tax audits).

 

So Heidi filled the Drifter with 98, loaded 5 years of fake paperwork, and set his GPS-like aviation dead reckoning brain for a 2 sector direct flight to Kirribas via ......

Edited April 19, 2020 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......Desperation Island. Not many people know that one of the Captain's ancestors, Alistair Cook, son of Captain Cook persuaded King George IV to give him a ship to try to find out what had happened to his father. As we know, CC's gruesome end was discovered, and his uniform was removed from Chief Booloo Booloo by means of a flensing knife, but no mention was ever made of the stunning navigation feat by his son, or any mention made of Alistair becaise his mother was coloured. On the way south Alistair simply looked at the stars at night to navigate, and fished all day waiting for the next night, but on the way home it was cloudy and Alistair finished up on what would be known as Desperation Island. What happened on that Island had been expunged from the history books, but we can say that .................

[hihosland]

Turbo had nothing to do with those terrible events despite what Cappy declared before Ms Justice,......

[Captain]

They have also asked their Captain for a background briefing on Turbine Enterprises (TE), not because they want to be involved in TE, but because they are seeking an alternative view to that presented by the AFP, who as the Skipper understands it, have reported that TE are affiliated with George Soros, the Eastern Transvaal Freedom Front (ETFF), ISIS, the bloke who designed the tail of the Bristell, that TE were the subcontractor who designed the software for Boeing on the 737 Max and that TE were a key advisor to the WHO.

APOLOGIES DEAR READERS FOR BREAKING INTO THE USUAL SMOOTH FLOW OF THE NE STORY ……… but I feel compelled to state here, for the record, and so that you are informed of what a sneaky XXXX Turbo is, that Scott and the Chief of Defence (who for the first time tonight asked me just to call him Angus, and to ring him at his home at any time if I need more information …… [Captain was also endorsed with OZ's highest security clearance]) advised this evening while we had dinner at The Lodge, that in addition to Turbine Enterprise's proven affiliations as mentioned above, TE were also a significant contributor of funds and expertise to Black September (bunchofXXXXsref).

Edited April 19, 2020 by Captain

[Captain]

Turbo had nothing to do with those terrible events despite what Cappy declared before Mr Justice,......

…….. Gobbo, who questioned the Captain's close and consensual relationship with his niece, and whether he had actually been between her ………………......

Edited April 19, 2020 by Captain

[hihosland]

...Drifter and her German Shepherd. Justice Gobbo did ask this after a tweet from Loxie identifying this dog as the cause of the interesting scar patterning on Loxie's posterior; these injuries having been inflicted when Loxie was unfortunately foolish enough to venture off in the direct5ion of the atore mentioned Drifter he having heard a rumour of some serious performance enhancing modifications carried out by Turbo Enterprises.

 

The Captain being suffused with illusions of his own importance and immunity to verbal traps did not see in this line of questions any potential for his own entrapment, or even downfall, cheerfully answered "Yes!! M'am"

 

" And what was the dog's reaction to your approach to the Drifter"

 

"One of submission and adoration, Your Honour"

 

Ms Goobbo so armed, then asked " Captain, now cast your mind back to ................".

[Captain]

Ms Goobbo so armed, then asked " Captain, now cast your mind back to ................".

...……. some charges that the RSPCA laid against you, which were similar to those laid against Georgy P, where the complainant, one "Choirboy Turbine", said that you were seen in a compromising position with a German Shephard and a rag and tube aircraft (eventualavref)."

 

"Not guilty mate, and stop being a prat, your honour, as I have a stat dec here from Rover, plus a series of photos that show clearly that Turbo is no innocent choirboy, is a lying little XXXXX, the Victorian Police were being paid off by Salty, bull, Wu Fat Who & their mafia mates, plus I was just trying to help Rover to …………..

Edited April 19, 2020 by Captain

[Captain]

THE ENTIRE CREW HERE AT MODERATTI HQ HAVE NOTED TURBO'S UNAUSTRALIAN POST # 12410.

WHAT A SHOCKER TURBO HAS BECOME AND IT IS NOW CLEAR TO US ALL OF US THAT PLANEY WAS RIGHT.

TURBO'S TERRIBLE DENIGRATION OF AUSSIE'S NATIONAL HERO, CAPTAIN JAMES COOK (HURRAH), IS A NATIONAL DISGRACE AND TO QUOTE MARK LATHAM'S WORDS, SPOKEN JUST TONIGHT ………………. Turbo is a real XXXXhead ……... and tonight 250 years ago, James Cook's Endeavour was sailing west, destined to sight the east Australian coast at 6am on 20 April 1770. Lieutenant Zachary Hicks is credited with the honour, hence Point Hicks in today's Victoria. An amazing moment in our history.

Cook turned north on 20 April 1770 and 9 days later arrived in Botany Bay. The Great Navigator fashioned modern Australian history and our many achievements.

Many Australian will honour Anzac Day from home this Saturday. Let's also honour Cook and his crew over the next 9 days.

......…… MODERATOR 15

[turboplanner]

APOLOGIES DEAR READERS FOR BREAKING INTO THE USUAL SMOOTH FLOW OF THE NE STORY ……… but I feel compelled to state here, for the record, and so that you are informed of what a sneaky XXXX Turbo is, that Scott and the Chief of Defence (who for the first time tonight asked me just to call him Angus, and to ring him at his home at any time if I need more information …… [Captain was also endorsed with OZ's highest security clearance]) advised this evening while we had dinner at The Lodge, that in addition to Turbine Enterprise's proven affiliations as mentioned above, TE were also a significant contributor of funds and expertise to Black September (bunchofXXXXsref).

And so he should apologise. turbo was engaged at the same time having dinner with Albo, who quietly told us he'd had the Captain under surveillance for some months with the permission of the Chief of Defence investigating a number of hazing complaints involving the Captain dressed as an Alpine Maiden. "What was he doing Ang? asked Turbo. The General turned almost purple when describing what took place. "How come you're having dinner with him tomorrow night? inserted Turbo. "I'm hoping to trap the little XXXX into spilling the beans" replied the General.

[turboplanner]

THE ENTIRE CREW HERE AT MODERATTI HQ HAVE NOTED TURBO'S UNAUSTRALIAN POST # 12410.

WHAT A SHOCKER TURBO HAS BECOME AND IT IS NOW CLEAR TO US ALL OF US THAT PLANEY WAS RIGHT.

TURBO'S TERRIBLE DENIGRATION OF AUSSIE'S NATIONAL HERO, CAPTAIN JAMES COOK (HURRAH), IS A NATIONAL DISGRACE AND TO QUOTE MARK LATHAM'S WORDS, SPOKEN JUST TONIGHT ………………. Turbo is a real XXXXhead ……... and tonight 250 years ago, James Cook's Endeavour was sailing west, destined to sight the east Australian coast at 6am on 20 April 1770. Lieutenant Zachary Hicks is credited with the honour, hence Point Hicks in today's Victoria. An amazing moment in our history.

Cook turned north on 20 April 1770 and 9 days later arrived in Botany Bay. The Great Navigator fashioned modern Australian history and our many achievements.

Many Australian will honour Anzac Day from home this Saturday. Let's also honour Cook and his crew over the next 9 days.

......…… MODERATOR 15

On the other hand President of the United States of America, Donald Trump has praised Turbo for exposing that terrible time saying that Kook had disgraced the British people by slipping in to Kealakekua Bay on the Island of Hawaii, and slipping in to a lot mor than the roast pork, sweet potatoes and pineapple. [The term Kooky denotes a person behaving in a similar manner to Cook].

It is of condemning note that the Captain (the little captain, not Captain Cook) has chosen a previous voyage/leg to try to bury that infamous trip to Hawaii where the navigation was all one way so to speak, and a tribal chief rightfully stuck him in the gizzard.

What about September 11 instead ......... MODERATOR 7

[turboplanner]

...……. some charges that the RSPCA laid against you, which were similar to those laid against Georgy P, where the complainant, one "Choirboy Turbine", said that you were seen in a compromising position with a German Shephard and a rag and tube aircraft (eventualavref)."

 

"Not guilty mate, and stop being a prat, your honour, as I have a stat dec here from Rover, plus a series of photos that show clearly that Turbo is no innocent choirboy, is a lying little XXXXX, the Victorian Police were being paid off by Salty, bull, Wu Fat Who & their mafia mates, plus I was just trying to help Rover to …………..

....learn how to retrieve a duck and to............

[Captain]

...…... bob for apples before the pheasants ………..

 

 

 

The Skipper is fully aware that the following does not apply to that scurvy-ridden scum, Turdy, but Captain and all of the Moderatti Illuminatti invite all patriotic Australians to doff their hats, put on some clean undies, get off the couch, face the east & log on to the Cooky Celebration of the 250 year anniversary, at …......…….

250th anniversary of Captain Cook's voyage to Australia | Department of Communications and the Arts

Edited April 19, 2020 by Captain

[Captain]

...…... bob for apples before the pheasants ………..

…………. plucker's son can ...…..

[turboplanner]

.........pluck a pheasant phaster than a pharisee can phlebotomise a baphomet in the town square. Phurthermore, a phrenoloist, named Phrygian, who was an expert in phronology was the first to use a photometer to make a tachometer to count the prop rotations of an SE5 fighter aircraft, but no one is allowed to know that because...........

[onetrack]

....Turbine Enterprises slapped a patent on the design immediately Turbo spotted the device - and the plans for it were shelved in a dusty safe in T.E. Headquarters, along with the 200mpg carburettor, the perpetual energy engine, and the last unicorn, which Turbo had stuffed.

In fact, it's a little known fact that Turbo has been responsible for stuffing a lot of things, not the least of which was .......

[turboplanner]

.......Tesla's tower, where just as Nicola Tesla was showing the Mayor of New York and a host of financiers to their seats to observe the free flow of electricity to a facility 50 miles away, Turbo turned on his un-shielded TV set to watch his favourite Flintstones episode yet again, and blew the electricity stream towards Russia. The Russians used the free power to build a military juggernaut which would eventually rival the USA, but when J.P. Morgan sent them a bill for .....................

[Captain]

…….. the cleanup, Turbo was still glued to the TV watching Wilma, because she had always had his heart (and lower) such that nobody in TE had the nuts to tell him it was just a cartoon.

 

As a result, Turbo had spent 2 of his best, and what would have been his most fertile & productive years, in Hollywood, living on the mean streets, trying to find where Wilma lived, but that ….........…..