Captain Posted April 30, 2020 Share Posted April 30, 2020 ...….. nearly wet himself laughing at the Cappy's joke (albeit poorly told by Tink), and also because he had been waiting for quite a few hours sucking down numerous cups of green tea. "Can you get the Captain's autoglaph for me prease" he asked. "Are you certain that it is for you?" responded Turbo, wanting to get the story perfectly clear so that he wouldn't get chastised by Scott again. "No" leplied the Chinese Ambassador sheepishly "It is actuary for Chairman Xi who has always admired the Skipper's ……………. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hihosland Posted April 30, 2020 Share Posted April 30, 2020 ....nodded his appreciation and after a swift precautionary scan of the room quickly flashed the lining of his Burbery to disclose a range of face masks in diverse colours and patterns say "you wanna buy?" Th which Turbo responded "My friend Twiggy........... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted April 30, 2020 Share Posted April 30, 2020 To which Turbo responded "My friend Twiggy........... ……… bent over and dropped his last night, so I'm expecting it to .……..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted April 30, 2020 Share Posted April 30, 2020 "..........be in poor condition, probably needing dome fumigation and flogging to get the smell out; In fact...." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted April 30, 2020 Share Posted April 30, 2020 ...…… he may need to inject disinfectant and UV light into it after the reaming. Turdy felt the need to defend his mate and his main point was that ............. TWIGGY WOODLAND AFTER THE REAMING Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted April 30, 2020 Share Posted April 30, 2020 ..........Australians should stick together, should help each other, watch each others' backs; they should be MATES! This cased a stir among the crowd. "What on EARTH is he talking about?" asked one millenial dressed in a grey suit with blue singlet underneath. "Who would be silly enough to do that?" There was general nodding in his cluster, and........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted April 30, 2020 Share Posted April 30, 2020 ……… then he took his cluster out. Turbs and Twigs we appalled, took a couple of chill-pills that enabled them to discuss the pros and cons of Drifters, but couldn't stop watching, as the cluster became ......…. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted April 30, 2020 Share Posted April 30, 2020 ........10 then 20 the 40 then 80 then 180 then 360 then 720 then 1440 people, all ready to support Twiggy to the hilt, and not only that but this,........ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted April 30, 2020 Share Posted April 30, 2020 ........10 then 20 the 40 then 80 then 180 then 360 then 720 then 1440 people, all ready to support Twiggy to the hilt, and not only that but this,........ ...…….. show of support cemented an unshakeable bond between Turbo and Twiggy, such that Turbine Enterprises made a takeover offer for her clothing business, which he immediately moved to China ……. and thereafter Twiggy's iron ore carriers were always back loaded chock-a-block with Twiggy's fashionable garments, saving a fortune (Turbo is a smart XXXX), all in that delightful and fashionable Iron Ore red that pervades all of WA, and that "look" took the ……….. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted April 30, 2020 Share Posted April 30, 2020 .......gold awards at the 2020 Cannes Fashing Championship of the World. Twiggy and the TurbineFashion models looked stunning on the catwalk with those Ochre Red outfits and the grey "Drifter" [avref] name supporting those aviators who still flew real aircraft. Like all Turbine Enterprises ventures Sustainability and The Environment was paramount, and the red garments saved the shipping company millions a year by not having to wash out the holds, but also saved thousands of little fish which would otherwise choke on the red dust and stink out the northern beaches, and....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted April 30, 2020 Share Posted April 30, 2020 [NEWS RELEASE (not for publication before 18:00 May 1 2020) TURBINE TWIGGY FASHION announced today a new venture to export live cattle to Bangladesh. Based on the huge success of TurbineFashion's Red Drifter theme generating two way income for ore shipes, the live cattle ships will return loaded with the new PeaAndHam fashion lines.] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted May 1, 2020 Share Posted May 1, 2020 [NEWS RELEASE (not for publication before 18:00 May 1 2020) TURBINE TWIGGY FASHION announced today a new venture to export live cattle to Bangladesh. Based on the huge success of TurbineFashion's Red Drifter theme generating two way income for ore shipes, the live cattle ships will return loaded with the new PeaAndHam fashion lines.] On behalf of the Australian Peoples, the members of the NES offer their profound thanks to Turdboy and the Twiglet for their service to the Nation. And in the great spirit of friendship between our Nations, we suggest that all Australians commence learning Chinese immediatery and rearn to use chopsticks. Unless this is done, all Austrarians will be "re-educated" in camps rocated between Arice Splings and Uraru. 操你澳大利亞 IT HAS SINCE BEEN PROVEN THAT THE ABOVE WAS HACKED INTO THE NES BY THE TWIGLET'S MATE LONG ZHOU VIA HIS OFFICE IN SHANGBOURNE. - INVESTIGATIVE MODERATOR IX Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted May 1, 2020 Share Posted May 1, 2020 repsonding to #12,510 .......cause the shark population to starve which would further stink up the beaches. One of the favourite pastimes of the millions of Australians forced to lead a normal life due to Coronavirus isolation has been to tell everyone what they would do to "fix" Australia, and the hands down winner is "force everyone to buy Australian." This of course makes no provision for the fact that many products were never made here or could never have been made here, but the Drifter [Avref} is an exception because it can be built by anyone with a hacksaw and bottle of castor oil. The question was........... [Turbo doesn't think there is too much threat to Australia from Long Zhou if all he is concerned about is "the saucepan tates blue"] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted May 1, 2020 Share Posted May 1, 2020 (edited) MORE BREAKING NEWS IN A RAPIDLY DEVELOPING NEWSSCAPE ------ Cappy has just had a call from Scott to advise that Turbo's real name in Wang Kerr and he is, according to ASIO and the FBI, the leader of an undercover operation to buy up Australia surreptitiously, with all of his funds coming from the Chinese Black Market. Even Daniel has seconded this news about Turbs/Wang, and we all know that things are pretty crook if Daniel becomes a dobber on the Chinese. A further complication is that Wang has today also been approached by Premier Xi as a potential replacement for Kim Jong Un if he has kicked the bucket. An obvious conclusion is that Wang has been hiding in plane (avref) sight as Planey was always calling him a WXnker (turboref). (Planey was ahead of his time). It is obviously of major concern to all genuine patriotic Skippies and Skipettes that Wang was inside The Lodge on 2 occasions recently, and close to our leaders, but rest easy all Aussies as security is being upped at The Lodge and neither Wang nor the Twiglet will be allowed in there any time soon (and Scott has actually issued a kill order on Wang, .................... not before time). Plus, the real interesting news is that, on further checking, Wang's Corvette is actually a Great Wall ute with a cheap fibreglass & papier-mâché body. END OF MESSAGE Edited May 1, 2020 by Captain Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted May 1, 2020 Share Posted May 1, 2020 [Moderator's Note: In reference to the so-called "Wang" alter ego of Turbo, NES Security can conform there is no foundation to the story. Kim Jong Un and Premier Xi have just been arrested for sun baking on Bondi Beach, where they had been guests of Turbo up until a few minutes before the arrest. A person fitting Turbp's description was seen making his way towards the beach with three coffees, but quicly took another route when he saw the police officers. NESS has since interviewed him over a few beers and had a good laugh.] Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted May 2, 2020 Share Posted May 2, 2020 The question was........... ...…...… also raised by Scott when he called the Skipper for advice last night, concerned about a report he had received, that Onesie is a political plant in the NES and is actually Mark McGowan (who few know is also Premier Xi's brother after suitable plastic surgery) and the Twiglet is …...…….. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hihosland Posted May 2, 2020 Share Posted May 2, 2020 ...spiritual adviser to Turbo a role secured after serving an internship in the White House as kitchen hand to Paula White she who walks on the holy ground of the White House Little did he know that Paula's spiritual energy derived from her regular turboencabulator massage and that if ever she should miss that TE enhanced morning ritual then.......... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted May 2, 2020 Share Posted May 2, 2020 Little did he know that Paula's spiritual energy derived from her regular turboencabulator massage and that if ever she should miss that TE enhanced morning ritual then.......... …….. she realised that given the Turbo's financial issues, the encabulators had been repossessed (they had actually been impounded by CASA to secure debts that Turbo had incurred from 2 $7.50 landing fees way back in 2019) and this also involved ……... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted May 2, 2020 Share Posted May 2, 2020 ...….. a series of charges for using the rego numbers that belong to HiHo, Mark, bull and Briney. Tink just couldn't grasp the inconsistency of landing his F16 and using the call sign of HiHo's aircraft or the Uniroot's Drifter. "How will people ever know?" he asked himself (an increasing problem that Turbo has, which makes him appear to be very Bidenesque). "Don't you worry about that, Turbo my old mate" said Planey doing his best Kingaroy Joh impression "For I know about these things and I have a ............... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted May 2, 2020 Share Posted May 2, 2020 "..........set of numbers set aside by the 15th AUF Committee that no one knows about. They would be worth a mint today; there's 0001, 0002,0003,0004. We'll give those to HiHo, Mark, bull and Briney; they'll jump at them, so no more witnesses and you own the numbers you've been using." "Smart man, Planey" said Turbo, "how come you never...................." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hihosland Posted May 2, 2020 Share Posted May 2, 2020 ..........told me about this marvelous idea before? "well the truth is that I was keeping it quiet because I was hoping to impress Mavis with my erudition and my influence at the AUF board but that scheme collapsed (Turbo ref) when she discovered stock cars with Planey consequently I totally failed to get her into the Drifter and me into ............ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted May 3, 2020 Share Posted May 3, 2020 ……... position to …….. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted May 3, 2020 Share Posted May 3, 2020 "............drive the Drifter, because she began to drag [avref] me into the shade of the wing [avref], where she bent my aileron" continued Hiho, obviously upset about something. "I told her not to touch it" he continued, but then she kicked be in the tail skid [avref] and broke my ........" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onetrack Posted May 3, 2020 Share Posted May 3, 2020 .... desire to proceed with any of my plans! She was like a wild animal, I had no hope of controlling any of her actions, and before long..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted May 3, 2020 Share Posted May 3, 2020 "she'd unscrewed the ASI [avref] and made off with it, bent my pitot tube [avref], which I don't mind telling you, made my eyes water, and deflated her ........." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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