Captain Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 TURBO DURING HIS "FOREST GUMP" PERIOD WHILE SEARCHING FOR WILMA, YET STILL RUNNING THE TURBINE INDUSTRIES CONGLOMERATE THRU SKYPE CALLS INTO BOARD & MANAGEMENT MEETINGS. THE DOG WAS USED IN HIS ATTEMPT TO TRACK WILMA DOWN. FEW KNEW THAT HE LOOKED LIKE THIS WHILE ALSO THROWING HIS WEIGHT AROUND ON WRECK FLYING (BUT PLANEY TUMBLED TO IT). EVERY NOW AND THEN HE STILL SLEEPS ROUGH AT MOORABBIN TRAIN STATION JUST TO KEEP HIS HAND IN ..... AND HE STILL HAS A FEW OF THE DREADLOCKS. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 ....resulted in a meeting which shocked him beyond belief. He was camped out on the verandah of a Scout Hall in North Hollywood, when a tall, skinny, grime covered shadow moved in beside him. "Gotta dollar Turbo?" he asked. Turbo reeled back; "Not you Clint!; surely you haven't been reduced to this?" "I have" said Clint "I was feelin' lucky for a while and then the Royalties dried up, and now I have to compete with the cats for food" "Here, take my blankets" said Turbo as the cold winter blast blew in from the Canyon. He never went back. Shot the dog, had a shave and haircut, bathed himself, bought some new clothes on Rodeo Drive, moved in to Bel Air and started eating out at Fasci's at his favourite table. And he sent Clint $50.00 to seed his next film, which was a hit and made $76 million at the Box Office, and...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 (edited) And he sent Clint $50.00 to seed his next film, which was a hit and made $76 million at the Box Office, and...... ……….. that is the reason why Clint changed the name of his production company from Malpaso to Turdwanko, with Turbo still receiving massive royalty cheques from the very popular "Dirty Turbo" and also from the earlier "The Good, the Bad, and the Turdly", however Turbine Entertainment (a 100% owned subsidiary of Turbine Enterprises) has retained Turbine Legal Services (a related entity) and has been locked into a tussle in the Californian Supreme Court when they acted swiftly to ...……………... DON'T BELIEVE A WORD OF TUBB'S ABOVE NOTE ABOUT HAVING A SHAVE, A HAIRCUT AND A TUB, AS BELOW IS A PHOTO OF TURBINE WHEN HE RETURNED TO OZ AFTER HIS HOLLYWOOD HOLIDAY. AS YOU CAN SEE, HE JUST COULD NOT RESIST KEEPING THE MULLET (WHICH HE STILL HAS). Edited April 21, 2020 by Captain 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 ....prevent any money from the film abd its 30 spinoffs leaving the USA. This prompted Turbo to go before the Screenwriters Guild to plead his case. "Clint Eastwood was on his last legs" he said "he was lost to the world, but I saved him, and look where he is today. All I want is to get my $50.00 back." The Screenwriters Guild discussed his request and felt it would be churlish not to do this, since the film "Turbo" about a detective who is shot in the face while fighting druggies didn't make much money, so they gave him the $50.00. Turbo took Eastwood productions to court, citing the precedent of the "Turbo" royalties and was awarded an undisclosed settlement amounting to $170 million, and bought six islands in the Carribean where...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 He never went back. Shot the dog, had a shave and haircut, bathed himself, DON'T BELIEVE A WORD OF TUBB'S ABOVE NOTE ABOUT HAVING A SHAVE, A HAIRCUT AND A TUB, AS BELOW IS A PHOTO OF TURBINE WHEN HE RETURNED TO OZ AFTER HIS HOLLYWOOD HOLIDAY. AS YOU CAN SEE, HE JUST COULD NOT RESIST KEEPING THE MULLET (WHICH HE STILL HAS). alt=1587467897863.pnghttps://www.recreationalflying.com/attachments/1587467897863-png.52533/[/img] TURBO HAS ALSO ADDED 3 KNECK TATTOOS SINCE HIS RETURN, ONE BEING THE WRECK FLYING LOGO WHICH HE HAS ELARGED EXCESSIVELY, PLUS A RATHER POOR COPY OF SALTY'S AVATAR PHOTO, AND "I LOVE WA AND ONESIE" IN THE SHAPE OF AN EASTERN BROWN SNAKE LAYING ITS EGGS.. WORRY NOT HIHO AND bull AS THE 3 OF US ARE BETTER OFF NOT BEING THERE. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 ....prevent any money from the film abd its 30 spinoffs leaving the USA. This prompted Turbo to go before the Screenwriters Guild to plead his case. "Clint Eastwood was on his last legs" he said "he was lost to the world, but I saved him, and look where he is today. All I want is to get my $50.00 back." The Screenwriters Guild discussed his request and felt it would be churlish not to do this, since the film "Turbo" about a detective who is shot in the face while fighting druggies didn't make much money, so they gave him the $50.00. Turbo took Eastwood productions to court, citing the precedent of the "Turbo" royalties and was awarded an undisclosed settlement amounting to $170 million, and bought six islands in the Carribean where...... ……… he lay back on his plastic fold-up sun lounge, surrounded by his bevy of beauties, planning his attack on the Star Wars franchise, but George Lucas was very defensive because he ……………. TURBO'S SUNLOUNGE THAT IS NOW IN THE FILM GUILD'S HALL OF FAME AND HE STILL HAS THE MARKS ON HIS BACK FROM EXCESSIVE BEVYING ON IT.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 ........and Turbo had collaborated to develop the original Indiana Jones film, when Turbo was an archaeologist looking for the Aztec chain of gold in the Amazon, and had learnt to avoid the Dancing Blue Spider, and the drinks offered by the local Shaman (Tequila until four). Together George and Turbo had found Harrison Ford when he was a teacher giving geohraphy lessons to Grade 3. George hadn't wanted him: "He's got funny eyes" he told Turbo who was becoming impatient with George's perfectionist attitude, and said "Put a haton him George, shave the eyebrows, and he'll do" and the rest was history. But there can be dollars in history too, when..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 ……….. Turbo and little Stan Kubrick collaborated on ………….. IT IS A LITTLE KNOWN FACT THAT IT WAS TURBO'S BRIEF GUEST APPEARANCE AS THE APE THAT MADE "A SPACE ODYSSEY" SUCH A SUCCESS. HE IS A GREAT ACTOR & PHILATHROPIST. STAN HAS BEEN FOREVER GRATEFUL FOR TUBB'S CREATIVE GUIDANCE. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 ....2001:a space Odyssey. Not many people know that Stan was Harvey Weinstein's father. Stan was very temperamental, and used to leave little Harvey at home during the long days of filming, so it should have been no suprose that Harvey got up to mischief. Turbo had taken his acting seriously, living with the gorillas in central Africa for three years in preparation for the role. In fact it was Turbo who had remarked early one morning "XXXX, it's misty this morning" leading to the title of the film "Gorillas in the Mist". Turbo had played the lead role in that too. They were all actors in gorilla suits of course, because, as everyone knows, if you go near a gorilla he'll tear your XXXXXXX head off! When 2001 started shooting, Turbo had to continually correct Stan to make the film gorilla-true (While they were filming GITM they would spend half the day filming, then half the day with binoculas watching the live gorillas from a distance of half a mile.) In the finish Turbo had a gutfull and belted the XXXX out of Stanley - that's what's left of Stanley in Captains photo above, which is now Curator's Choice in the ................... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hihosland Posted April 21, 2020 Share Posted April 21, 2020 ...Turbo Hall of Fame, installed in the re-purposed Ruby Princess permanently moored off Rottness Island and the major Western Australian tourist attraction since Gina in a joint venture with TE had exported all the quokkas to Wuhan to make quaranteed carona-19 free quokka burgers. The burgers being better at Hungry Turbo's there was a mad scramble to establish franchised quokka burger stands throughout the Mid West US of A, an enterpirse that came to a sudden trading halt when.............. huan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onetrack Posted April 22, 2020 Share Posted April 22, 2020 ....it was found the contents were not as advertised - a common failing of most of the Turbine Enterprises product offerings. The Better Business Bureau were inundated with a host of complaints, with most stating the quokka burgers tasted suspiciousy like cat, and it was also noted that Turbine Enterprises ran a related cat farm business. "Besides," said Homer Johnson, whilst being interviewed by the Hot Springs Sentinel-Record, "who eats a West Australian icon, and a major tourism drawcard, that possesses a cheery, likeable face!! It's downright disgusting what some of these corporates get up to!" The Sentinel-Record journalist set about trying to track down the management and CEO of Turbine Enterprises, but was led a merry dance as she was redirected and redirected to numerous shelf companies based in places such as Liberia and Bermuda, who all appeared to have an accountants office as their headquarters. She was told repeatedly, "We're sorry, but no-one from management is available to talk to you!". Endlessly frustrated, the journalist wrote up a massive expose of the house of cards that was Turbine Enterprises, and it went to press on the Thursday before Easter. The reaction from the public was explosive, and ........ DEAR NES READERS - AT THIS JUNCTURE WE MUST MAKE NOTE THAT THE CAPTAIN IS OBVIOUSLY SUFFERING FROM PARANOIA, CLAUSTROPHOBIA, ARACHNAPHOBIA, AND NUMEROUS OTHER POORLY-DEFINED MENTAL HEALTH AFFLICTIONS THAT ARE MAKING HIM CLIMB THE WALLS AND START SCREAMING, AS THE COVID-19 ISOLATION STARTS TO BEAR HEAVILY ON HIM, AND RE-ACTIVATE HIS MENTAL INSTABILITIES. READERS WILL NOTE THESE MENTAL HEALTH COMPLAINTS ARE BEING MADE CLEAR BY THE CAPTAINS NEED TO SCREAM AND SHOUT IN CAPITALS, AND COME UP WITH OUTRAGEOUS, UNFOUNDED ACCUSATIONS, CONSPIRACIES AND OTHER MENTAL DELUSIONS, SPECIFICALLY AIMED AT OTHER WORTHY CONTRIBUTORS TO THE NES. IT IS UNDERSTOOD THAT THE PARAMEDICS WILL BE IN ATTENDANCE AT HIS RETIREMENT HOME SHORTLY TO ADMINISTER SOME CALMING SEDATIVES AND OTHER MEDICATIONS PRESCRIBED TO HIM, THAT HE IS OBVIOUSLY NOT TAKING WHILST IN ISOLATION. WE TRUST THAT OUR NES READERS WILL BE FORGIVING OF THE CAPTAINS ERRATIC AND UNPRINCIPLED BEHAVIOUR, AND REALISE THAT THE CAPTAIN IS NOT A WELL MAN, AND HE NEEDS TO BE TOLERATED WITH HIS STRANGE AND UNSETTLING OUTBURSTS. THANK YOU - MODERATOR 51 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted April 22, 2020 Share Posted April 22, 2020 ARACHNAPHOBIA Moderator 51 must be a new addition & a bit of a dick, as everyone knows that the Skipper admits that he (or she - nttiawwt) is afraid of cats. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted April 22, 2020 Share Posted April 22, 2020 Turbo had played the lead role in that too. They were all actors in gorilla suits of course, because, as everyone knows, if you go near a gorilla he'll tear your XXXXXXX head off! And that, dear reader, led to another interesting legal quandary and precedent, where for the 1st time ever the RSPCA charged an animal with naughtiness …... because Turbo in his gorilla suit & fully in character, had touched Dian Fossey inappropriately as she lay beside him trying to gain his confidence. "Well, she started it" he said defensively "And I just wish it had been Sigourney Weaver in the sequel" commented Turbo in gorilla. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted April 22, 2020 Share Posted April 22, 2020 "Who's she" asked the medicated Captain, moving his eyes from left to right and back again, "Will she attack me? When Turbo moved to reassure him she was much the same as Mavis at the RSL or Ske at the BoB (Well nobody can match Skye, but that's another story), the Captain reared back, his eyes wide with terror, and inadvertently tripped on the hem of his dressing gown, fallingh back into the tray of soup which had just been brought in by..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted April 22, 2020 Share Posted April 22, 2020 Endlessly frustrated, the journalist wrote up a massive expose of the house of cards that was Turbine Enterprises, and it went to press on the Thursday before Easter. The reaction from the public was explosive, and ........ "Who's she" asked the medicated Captain, moving his eyes from left to right and back again, "Will she attack me? When Turbo moved to reassure him she was much the same as Mavis at the RSL or Ske at the BoB (Well nobody can match Skye, but that's another story), the Captain reared back, his eyes wide with terror, and inadvertently tripped on the hem of his dressing gown, fallingh back into the tray of soup which had just been brought in by..... ……….. the journalist who was working undercover at the nursing home (as disclosed by OT's above tome), while trying to get the Skipper to take his pills plus spill the beans on Turbo, ........... who remains the Skippers best and closest mate, even to this day and even though Turbs had let him down numerous times. But as mentioned above, he spilled the soup and took the beans, then inserted the pills. The Journo was even more confused than the Skipper who kept calling "Fake News" and asking "Have the visitors been yet?" until the nurses came and removed the pills from the journalist using a long …... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted April 22, 2020 Share Posted April 22, 2020 THE INSTANT WHEN TURBO, AT THE REAR (AND NOT ONLY HIS), MADE HIS MOVE ON DIANE. THIS SHOWS HER JUST BEFORE SHE JUMPED UP AND YELLED "WAH HOO, WHO DID THAT?". THIS PHOTO WAS PART OF THE RSPCA'S CASE AGAINST GORILLA TURBO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted April 22, 2020 Share Posted April 22, 2020 Anyone can see that Turbo's eyes were on the female gorilla (played by Jane Fonda.) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted April 22, 2020 Share Posted April 22, 2020 Anyone can see that Turbo's eyes were on the female gorilla (played by Jane Fonda.) …. with Rebel Wilson as her understudy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted April 22, 2020 Share Posted April 22, 2020 The Journo was even more confused than the Skipper who kept calling "Fake News" and asking "Have the visitors been yet?" until the nurses came and removed the pills from the journalist using a long …... ………………… hook type of surgical device that ……………. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted April 22, 2020 Share Posted April 22, 2020 .......as normally used for unblocking............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted April 22, 2020 Share Posted April 22, 2020 …….. tear ducts, for removing the blue heads of Rotaxes, as a cane toad despatcher and ………...…. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
onetrack Posted April 22, 2020 Share Posted April 22, 2020 ...... could also be used to straighten bent undercarriage on Drifters, in a pinch. But when Cappy saw the next tool the Nurse produced, it really brought tears to his eyes (despite the unblocked tear ducts). "You're not really going to use that on me, are you?", wailed Cappy as he shrank back into the corner of his room. "I know what you do with that, and I don't like it! In fact, I ....... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hihosland Posted April 22, 2020 Share Posted April 22, 2020 ... i got a glimpse of the SOP (AV/med ref) illustration on the box and I do not like it one little bit I know that Cappy is a dab hand at fixing a weeping blue head and given that knowledge and he being a much valued old friend I would prefer that we call Cappy for a second opinion or failing that ......... 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Posted April 22, 2020 Share Posted April 22, 2020 ...……… to have the procedure done again, as it is a strange phenomenon that once it has been done a few times it becomes fun and then is part of his repertoire. "I know" said Salty "And I for one, can't get enough of it after I had that episode at the Remnark …………. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted April 22, 2020 Share Posted April 22, 2020 Gum Leaf music festival. "I'd played the gum leaf for years, you know" said Salty; "but I could never hit the high notes before, but while using it I could play Beethoven's seventh and those high note would just float across the water to the audience. Someone had a stand at the Festival, selling them for $5.00 for .............................. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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