The Never Ending Story

[Captain]

3 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Cappy ...........

....... remembered Biggles from a very unfortunate incident at the ........

[turboplanner]

..............Cootamundra picture theatre when a box of Jaffas he was holding ......................

[onetrack]

......melted in his hands, leavings stains that looked like blood on his fingers and palms. Biggles spotted the stains, and thought that Cappy had been shot through the hands whilst in a dogfight, and he promptly expressed great concern about Cappys condition.

 

He said, "I say, old Chap, those hands look frightfully shot up, are you still capable of piloting again, when we next scramble? I should arrange for the regimental nurse to look at those wounds, you know, we wouldn't want you being less than 100%, when you next encounter a Hun!"

 

Cappy suddenly realised that Biggles had misunderstood what he'd seen, and Cappy could play along with this, for maximum advantage (because Cappy was always after an advantage, particularly one that put him in a leading position with little effort), so accordingly, he said to Biggles, "I think I should.......

[turboplanner]

......take command.”

Some NES readers may think that was presumptive of Cappy, but Cappy has stood shoulder to shoulder fighting the heathen in the Kyneton Pass.

Biggles must have heard about it because he didn’t flinch. He just said Carry on”

The fighter aircraft were .....

[Captain]

8 hours ago, turboplanner said:

The fighter aircraft were .....

..... yet to be invented when Cappy stood with the locals at the battle of Kyneton Pass and it was there that Cappy's jaffa stained & supposedly shot up, mangled hands were examined by various of the defenders.

 

There was a great hullabaloo when someone observed "Those look more like scars from old nail holes, then Cappy quickly yet quietly healed bull's neck and fed all of the defenders using 4 white bait and a ........

[turboplanner]

.......rabbit that was just a fraction too slow.

He made the decision that the Drifter could be repaired, then spent an hour, sweating profusely to drag it behind the only tree for miles.

He said "Bless you, my son" waving his hand gently over the Drifter wreck, but the Drifter was a heathen and spat back at him saying XXXX XXX. With just a slight flick he chanded it into a Thruster, and although they were an inferior aircraft with a reputation for mangling their pilots, Cappy was well-pleased. A Bluehead came screaming across the paddocks at three feet punching a hole through the side of an Angus bull who had also said  XXXX XXX a few moments before. It fitted itself, and guided by more serene Cappy than usual. He'd already changed his avatar from Abraham Lincoln to a shot of himself looking at the camera with his heart painted red, apparently a new bikie fad.

 

As he flew along he sang a popular rap song ...........................................

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

As he flew along he sang a popular rap song ...........

...... "Onward AUF Soldiers,  marching as to War (with CASA)", sung to the tune of P-Diddy's greatest hit.

 

With Kanye West changing his name to Ye, Turbo charged his to Turd and Cappy changed his to Pee, but Onesie & bull had ......

[Captain]

2 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....... Abraham Lincoln shot himself ......

There is Turd changing history again, as we all know that Abe was shot by JWB.

[turboplanner]

9 hours ago, Captain said:

There is Turd changing history again, as we all know that Abe was shot by JWB.

[Special note: Cappy is suffering from post grammatic shock]

[Captain]

57 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

[Special note: Cappy is suffering from post grammatic shock]

Too right Tubb.

 

Cappy has infused, included, introduced & inculcated several big, unnecessary and unproductive words into the NES lately, and somewhat commensorately, he has used up his entire 2022 allocation and supply of letters.

 

And as all NESers will have observed, Cappy's supply of humour is also running low ....... Some cruel folks may say it buggered off years ago.

 

Cappy's level of edumacation means that he also wishes to point out that "Never Ending Story" (NES) should actually be "Never-ending Story" (NS) and requests that Moderator 6 immediately undertake & initiate a Wreck Flying website wide correction by printing an apology on all forums and within each page of each thread.

Edited November 14, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.......but it gets worse because Turbo is a First Nations Canadian Indigenous person, "Never Ending Story" the name came about when NES' parents were almost asleep and Climbing Wolf ...................

[onetrack]

......the Coffee and Beer Bar in Dobbs Ferry, NY, called. When NES's Father answered the phone (yes, the Canadian First Nations people were given phones in their igloos as generous compensation for the Canadians taking their land), he said, "Ziigwan Anishinaabe speaking. How may I help you?" (the Canadian First Nations people were quite courteous) - and the caller said, "You can help by paying up your outstanding bar tab, at the Climbing Wolf Coffee and Beer Bar!".

 

Naturally, this demand came as a bit of a shock to Ziigwan Anishinaabe, as he'd never even been to the Climbing Wolf Coffee and Beer Bar - let alone run up a tab there.

He replied, "I'm sorry, you must have the wrong person, I've never been to your bar, let alone run up a tab there!"

 

"Is there anyone else in your area with the same name?", said the caller from Climbing Wolf. "Oh yes!", replied Ziigwan Anishinaabe. "It's a common name amongst us First Nations people, there are probably dozens of us with that name!"

 

At that, the caller started to swear, which offended Ziigwan Anishinaabe greatly, as he was a gentle soul, and unaccustomed to being abused or sworn at. He said, "My son, I.........

[turboplanner]

":......am not happy with your words."

This was a stinging reprimand in the gentle Ziigwan Anishinaabe people, but in the Climbing Wolf Coffee and Beer Bar it normally just warranted an extra shot of water in the drink.

"I apologise" he said conscious that he was speaking to a real Nations person and not just a box ticking gravy trainer from Wodonga. "Who would you suggest I call?"

Ziigwan thought for a minute and then said Zigwan................................

 

[Captain]

46 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Ziigwan thought for a minute and then said Zigwan.............

...... Trudeau, who is a wizzbang dinky-di 1st Nations person. In fact he is so PC that he is also a 2nd and 3rd Nations person, as long as they speak Français canadien.

 

"i speak that lingo" intejected bull "and it goes down a treat when i am cracking on down at the pub on a friday night (all NSers know that it was friday night highjinks in the back seat of the valiant that caused bull's crook neck in the first place .... "but it was worth it" he said, with a grin on his face and a lump in his ...........

[turboplanner]

......heart, "Oshka Anishinobe, is my kind of National ..........................

[Captain]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

...... Anishinobe ......

....... "Did somebody call me, or my sister Anishi?" asked Nob, as he .........

Edited November 15, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........was trying out a pure white fur seal jacket from that Iconic shopping chain "aNish!"

He came out of the shop looking like .....................

[onetrack]

.......a polar bear after moulting, which dazzled virtually everyone around him - except Cappy, who had on his best pair of dark aviator sunnies.

 

Cappy spotted the white fur seal jacket and cried, "I want one of those! - for when I reach maximum speed at 8,000 feet in the Drifter, and the icicles are forming on my toes and nose! How much are they? - and do they come in........

[turboplanner]

.........pale blue.

Not many people know that Sergeant C. Cook was a spy in WW2. He had been trained in undercover work by Nancy Wake and came out of it rater battered and bruised, but he persevered, bought himself a pale blue suit and talked his way into being Goering's batman. He would find out when every big raid was leaving Germany and text Douglas Bader, who'd lost his legs in a swimming accident. Douggie would lead the Spitfars in formation and beat the Sh!t out of the Germans, and no one ever knew. Churchill said he should be recognised and wrote a speech about Cappy, "Never in the history of mankind have so many people owed so much to Sergeant Cook" but it was changed by MI5 because .....

[Captain]

55 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

rater

..... hence his name at the War Memorial and his moniker on Old Wrecks Flying.

 

55 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

"Never in the history of mankind have so many people owed so much to Sergeant Cook" but it was changed by MI5 because .....

....... Winnie's halo had slipped after WW2 and MI5 had gone woke, so they changed it to "Never in the history of persecuted peoples have so many downtrodden wretches (including those in Tasmania and WA) been owed so much by that colonizing spiv, Sergeant Cook" and MI5 even dabbled in the whole reparations issue, until they realized that .......

Edited November 15, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

.........they had it wrong. Max Smith a Sh!tterditj man suggested that Cook could better be described as an Invading, Colonizing Spiv with a capital S. Alistair Wilson, a proud member of the deadly Rubitmara Aboriginal Land Corporation, suggested his statue should be pulled down and shifted to Fitzroy Street, St Kilda and Auntie Mary Fitzwilliam McLachlan, an Elder in the Bugrup Tribe suggested they get home.

The statue stayed where it was the Sergeant got a job weeding the Gumly Gumly Lawn Tennis Courts, and from there to the stars, and .................

[bull]

13 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.........they had it wrong. Max Smith a Sh!tterditj man suggested that Cook could better be described as an Invading, Colonizing Spiv with a capital S. Alistair Wilson, a proud member of the deadly Rubitmara Aboriginal Land Corporation, suggested his statue should be pulled down and shifted to Fitzroy Street, St Kilda and Auntie Mary Fitzwilliam McLachlan, an Elder in the Bugrup Tribe suggested they get home.

The statue stayed where it was the Sergeant got a job weeding the Gumly Gumly Lawn Tennis Courts, and from there to the stars, and .................

.back to recharge the..........

[Captain]

1 hour ago, bull said:

.back to recharge the..........

...... batteries of the 1st electric Drifter (patent pending), which he had knocked up (mavisref) in his spare time between weedings at the GGLTCs.

 

This development made the Sgt the "Eveready Bunny" of the aviation world, and he was flattered to be also called Elon Musk II, so Elon-like, the Sgt put in a bid for Marky Z's FaceBook and he also submitted an offer to purchase NASA although many thought that only Turbine Enterprises had the readies to take on the yanks in this way.

 

The Sgt then sat back to wait for the .......

Edited November 15, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

49 minutes ago, Captain said:

...... batteries of the 1st electric Drifter (patent pending), which he had knocked up (mavisref) in his spare time between weedings at the GGLTCs.

 

This development made the Sgt the "Eveready Bunny" of the aviation world, and he was flattered to be also called Elon Musk II, so Elon-like, the Sgt put in a bid for Marky Z's FaceBook and he also submitted an offer to purchase NASA although many thought that only Turbine Enterprises had the readies to take on the yanks in this way.

 

The Sgt then sat back to wait for the .......

Turbine put in a sharply increased offer to all the companies. Sgt beat it. Turbine had shorted the market and immediately withdrew their offers

Sgt now could even afford jocks and defaulted and the market crashed. Turbine made another $5 billion and Turbo went to lunch, but the Drifter......

[Captain]

6 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Turbine put in a sharply increased offer to all the companies. Sgt beat it. Turbine had shorted the market and immediately withdrew their offers

Sgt now could even afford jocks and defaulted and the market crashed. Turbine made another $5 billion and Turbo went to lunch, but the Drifter......

..... development continued apace, as the Sarge is a dedicated inventor and wanted to meet the market for an electric Drifter. After all, how much worse could the reliability be for a cheapest tender price (Kazakhstan is now cheaper than Mongolia for such items) set of electric motors & batteries, when compared with a BlueHead and their consumable pistons.

 

Turbo's lunch became an extended affair once all of the waitresses realized who it was sitting at the big table (albeit alone ........ very alone) in the high roller's room at the Nam Phat restaurant, so they started to compete for his favors and he .........