The Never Ending Story

[onetrack]

.......carefully examined what could be done with these wide people from the East. He pondered that they could be used as human barricades - used instead of sandbags for flood control (laid down, end to end, they took up 1.2M in height, each - which saved a lot of sandbag shovelling, and of course, then there was...........

[turboplanner]

1 minute ago, onetrack said:

.......carefully examined what could be done with these wide people from the East. He pondered that they could be used as human barricades - used instead of sandbags for flood control (laid down, end to end, they took up 1.2M in height, each - which saved a lot of sandbag shovelling, and of course, then there was...........

....dict taping six of them together to show just how uncomfortable it was to be a Cluster Bomb , but then

[bull]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....dict taping six of them together to show just how uncomfortable it was to be a Cluster Bomb , but then 

.............after cutting off the "dict"tape ......the"" WPFE"",,[Wide people from the east] inspectors had determined that Turbo is.................

Edited November 1, 2022 by bull

[onetrack]

.....not one of the Wide people, as his popular nickname is "Beanstalk", and he's been known to turn sideways to make it look like he's disappeared. This has been a very useful trick for him, particularly when he's sighted a CASA operative making his way towards Turbo's.........

[turboplanner]

....regular non-conventional landings.

 

in this photo taken by a CASA spy camera, what looks like a shadow to the right of the fence post, and actually Turbo, and if you look closely you can see his .......................

 

 

[Captain]

23 hours ago, onetrack said:

wide people from the East

Hence the use of slimming black letter-box burqas to hide the width.

 

ALTHOUGH THE ONE BELOW LOOKS UNWIDE & PRETTY GOOD AS A POTENTIAL AUF MEMBER.

Edited November 2, 2022 by Captain

[Captain]

12 hours ago, turboplanner said:

in this photo taken by a CASA spy camera, what looks like a shadow to the right of the fence post, and actually Turbo, and if you look closely you can see his ..........

...... dict, which is wrapped with dict tape, ......... and as Turbo tells us all so often, that is the widest part of his shadow, which excited considerable interest from ..........

Edited November 2, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

........the CASA operative because he had a book of shadows - 722 pages to be exact, and that was without the intro of 426 pages, the plain English explanation of sixteen hundred pages, rivalling many Bibles, and the Shadow Guide of 323 pages leaving out the most critical details.

 

He stopped, wiped his eyes and looked again. This looked very much like the evasive Turbo, person "X" on the CASA noticeboards. It was that fat wallet bulge which Cappy had alluded to which gave it away.

 

He had himself "wired" by two ASIO operatives who were providing support on this important take-down and sauntered up to the target "X" casually so as not to spook him. He engaged him in conversation and the subject began to talk........... (no not yet). What he didn't know was that he had targetted OneTrack who had taken all Turbo's cash the night before with a masterful Poker strategy. What is not generally known, and please don't tell anyone this but once OT starts to talk he's like a Cummins engine - goes forever, and the CASA operative had been silly enough to ask him about the WA rabbit proof fence as a conversation starter. "Have you ever flown over it" he'd said, and OT had described it post after post and then ................................................

Edited November 2, 2022 by turboplanner

[Captain]

11 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

and OT had described it post after post and then ..........

..... strand after strand.

 

"Which is your favorite, Onesie" asked the ASIO bloke, trying to trip the One&onlyRoot into a chargeable admission.

 

"Post number 12,346 is a particularly attractive and deserving post" replied NotManyRoots (NMR) "As it is ..........

[bull]

1 hour ago, Captain said:

..... strand after strand.

 

"Which is your favorite, Onesie" asked the ASIO bloke, trying to trip the One&onlyRoot into a chargeable admission.

 

"Post number 12,346 is a particularly attractive and deserving post" replied NotManyRoots (NMR) "As it is ..........

..... all about the good old days and glorifies the ancient art of 95.10 and the killing machines of the eighties and should be really meaty subject matter to keep you busy!,,,,,,,,,,,,,Now old OT had suddenly became aware of.........

Edited November 2, 2022 by bull

[turboplanner]

.....bull standing there, and before you cpould even see the movement, had flicked himself sideways exposing bull, who also had a bulging back pocket. What could the CASA operative do. Clearly he must hev made a mistake. Not many people know this but the people of Bowen, and moreso with the people of Bowen+Tasmania, have an odd way of coping with the threat of danger.

He gave the CASA operative a Bowen Cuddle, and caught the ASIO bloke in the ............................

 

 

[Captain]

15 hours ago, turboplanner said:

He gave the CASA operative a Bowen Cuddle, and caught the ASIO bloke in the .........

...... best type of interdepartmental tryst, a ménage à ........

[turboplanner]

...quatre. Unfortunately Captain has taken us into an area where we  can't explain what this is, but let's say it's not singing.

Turbo explained to the CASA operative that he was conducting a normal landing when his aircraft was caught by a willy willy [an excused which Foxhunter had used successfully for 47 years including his days on 747s on the Hong Kong run where you had to bounce the mains off a rock to make Final] then a fence had jumped out and he crashed. He made promises to be good forever, and said he'd clean up the mess (and the aircraft bits), and the nice CASA man let him go.

Now in his brand new 2/3 scale Sopwith Kitten, he was lining up for take off.........................................

[Captain]

3 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

Now in his brand new 2/3 scale Sopwith Kitten, he was lining up for take off..........

..... when it crossed his mind that this might actually involve a ménage à cinq, which had potential to sink ......

[turboplanner]

........the Kitten so he gave it full throttle and 22 horsepower pushed him in the back and soon his V1 app told him it was time to rotate, which he did. His inclinometer app then kicked in telling him the angle to climb, and he soon found the magneta line after chucking Ipad 1 down on the floor, trying to boot up Ipad 2, finding its battery was flat, reaching down and grabbing Ipad one, pulling out of the near ring-over, and just managing to switch on his ADSB in time to avoind a collision with a Trike. The magenta line didn't look quite right; ...................

[Captain]

5 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

The magenta line didn't look quite right; ........

..... nor did it appear too left, so in usual AUF fashion he split the difference and flew the Kitten .......

[turboplanner]

........straight into the Donbas. "Get Outski!" a Ukranian soldier yelled up at the kitten which was right in his line of fire..............

[Captain]

6 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

........straight into the Donbas. "Get Outski!" a Ukranian soldier yelled up at the kitten which was right in his line of fire..............

.... "Hold your fireski" he yelled "I'm not looking for Ukraineski, I was navigating to St Moritzski as I am meeting bullski and 1rootski there for a skiski, and some apre piste shenanigans when we will also ...........

Edited November 3, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

"...........be meeting Alboski and Snake Charmer to talksky about more Bushmasters!"

"OKsky" said the soldier and turned his weapon on the three Russian conscripts who had been scrounding among the many turretless tanks looking for cans of baked beans.

No one on board that day has ever been able to explain what motivated Cappy to yell "We'll have them!!!!!!" then yelled "PULL!" forgetting he wasn't on the Kapooka clay target range, then shoving the nose down steeply and ..................

[Captain]

4 hours ago, turboplanner said:

No one on board that day has ever been able to explain what motivated Cappy to yell "We'll have them!!!!!!" then yelled "PULL!" forgetting he wasn't on the Kapooka clay target range, then shoving the nose down steeply and .............

..... doing a cross between Douglas Bader, Biggles, bull and the singularnaughty as he flew between the trees, dodging Iranian suicide drones, a goodly amount of friendly fire, and the odd .......

Edited November 3, 2022 by Captain

[onetrack]

....Russian missile - before a CASA operative shot him down with a well-aimed bullet to his prop. As Canopy (formerly known as Cappy, before he changed his ID and his gender) glided down to a likely-looking forced landing area in a Ukrainian wheat field, he pulled out his ASIO card, which he regarded as his "get-out-of-jail" card, anywhere he went. However, this time, it was......

[turboplanner]

....a Russian General who was asking, complete with his hat with the bright red band, and his fluoro safety gear.

As we know the Ukrainians liked to pop off Russian Generals using the 50 cals they got from China cheap.

Just at this moment he had zeroed the 50 cal in on Canopy, but someone farted and he missed and hot the General.

The Russians didn't see the funny side and ...............

[Captain]

18 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....a Russian General who was asking, complete with his hat with the bright red band, and his fluoro safety gear.

As we know the Ukrainians liked to pop off Russian Generals using the 50 cals they got from China cheap.

Just at this moment he had zeroed the 50 cal in on Canopy, but someone farted and he missed and hot the General.

The Russians didn't see the funny side and ...............

...... blushed when the General realized that Turbo's post designated him as "hot".

 

"I guess zat I am quite goodlookingski" he conceded, as he gave instructions to attack more civilian targets and to be heavy handed with anybody with whom he came in contact.

 

"Hey mate" said the CASA Operative "You'd fit in well working with us, if you would just get a tad more vicious and ........

Edited November 4, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

...try to aim for the enemy rather than your foot which you wil note is bleeding.

"Nyet!"< said the General, but he was too late...........................

[Captain]

4 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

...try to aim for the enemy rather than your foot which you wil note is bleeding.

"Nyet!"< said the General, but he was too late...........................

......... as the CASA HR staff had already approved him as a 5 Star candidate (only Pol Pot had qualified higher) and his initial salary signup bonus was in the mail.

 

"We have also found you a free dacha in the Russian conclave in Moorabbin, where Turboski willski lookski afterski you ....... 

Edited November 4, 2022 by Captain