The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

However as they were all drifting home they noticed a crowd round one of the Drifters..Cappy and Mavis had decided to do the Twist, which was the latest craze, on the wing of one of the parked Drifters. Their feet had gone straight through the wings. Mavis had hit the ribs, but Cappy went down one leg each side of a spar and was moaning piptfully in excruciating pain. For th last 30 minutes the committee had been arguing how best to get them out without further damaging the Drifter, or ...............

[bull]

1 hour ago, turboplanner said:

However as they were all drifting home they noticed a crowd round one of the Drifters..Cappy and Mavis had decided to do the Twist, which was the latest craze, on the wing of one of the parked Drifters. Their feet had gone straight through the wings. Mavis had hit the ribs, but Cappy went down one leg each side of a spar and was moaning piptfully in excruciating pain. For th last 30 minutes the committee had been arguing how best to get them out without further damaging the Drifter, or ...............

Cappy,s jewels,,...Suddenly a roar could be heard and there appeared Turbo flying one of those whirly bird thingies ,,,

  [ no one knows where he got a blackhawk from ??],,he lowered down a "bosun's" seat for Mavis to.........

Edited October 16, 2022 by bull

[turboplanner]

........take a ride in. despite it being the bosun's seat, she climberd in because she'd had enough of Cappy.

Then came the delicate operation of extracting Cappy from the spar, and Turbo sent down an under arm sling.

This should have worked but a careless builder had left a gap between the spar and the ribs and into this a vital sac had been squeezed. As the blackhawk winch groaned and squealed this sac got longer and longer until it finally nroke free. Cappy was saved, but he could never wear budgie smugglers again, or ...................

[onetrack]

.....sing "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot", as Paul Robeson could do so well. But Cappy soon found he was in great demand as the finest local soprano, so much so, that.......

[bull]

1 hour ago, onetrack said:

.....sing "Swing Low, Sweet Chariot", as Paul Robeson could do so well. But Cappy soon found he was in great demand as the finest local soprano, so much so, that.......

.............he had to quit the Bone rissole dance team and was now...............

[turboplanner]

....billed as the Star Attraction, entitled to his own Dressing Room and  drum roll as he come on stage.

Not many people know that Cane Farmers are a very small goup of people, with a particular music taste, and Cappy had accidentally hit the hot button, and soon CFs were travelling to Bone from places as far away as Coffs Harbour and Cairns; in fact Coffs Harbour is named after the first planter, Herbert Coffs, and Cairns after Jim Cairns who brough sugar seeds out from Scotland. Cappy had ten thousand glass beads sen onto his costumed and billed tham as diamonds, and a peculiar way of shaking .......................

[onetrack]

....his sequins that sent the women in the audience into such a frenzy of desire and adulation, that Cappy started to receive threats from jealous partners, who promised to remove Cappys .......

 

Edited October 17, 2022 by onetrack

[turboplanner]

.......problem. Nothing worried Cappy though; he'd jump in his Drifter and do illegal beach beatups, aerobatics, cane cutting, which was more difficult with the high prop, shark warning where you had to swing down low, kick the surfer in the head then outclimb the next wave. You didn't get a Sharke Warner endorsement in those AUF days until you had one foot bitten off by a shark. What he could do with a Drifter was legendary, even ..............

[Captain]

On 17/10/2022 at 11:37 AM, turboplanner said:

What he could do with a Drifter was legendary, even ..........

........ that outstanding feat of aerial water bombing that he did to save that town (it wasn't DG but a joint somewhat similarly inbred) in the Vicmanistan bushfires of '87, when he collected water numerous times from an above ground pool in the backyard (this required Cappy's usual deft touch ..... just ask Mavis), then he flew low through the flames, time after time, and saved hundreds of residences that had been ...........

 

 

LIKE THIS BUT IN A DRIFTER

 

Edited October 18, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

..........indundated by all the xxxxxxx water and blew them dry with prop-wash.

At the medal awards several senior Fire Officers, who make internecine fights in the ranks a higher priority than fighting fires were itching to let the secret out that all of Cappy's "saves" were over unburnt land, but no one was prepared to be "the one" who breached the code and speak out, so they went on hiring Cappy and Cappy went on picking green landscapes away from the fires and getting paid to bomb them.

In fact he made so much money that he was able to buy .............

[Captain]

19 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

In fact he made so much money that he was able to buy ...........

......... an update to a Mark 6A Drifter fitted with a 4-Stroke, however the rag & tube purists, and Planey, called Cappy a turncoat, which hurt his feelings (he being a sensitive soul).

 

Planey even (allegedly) said words to the effect of "If'n you ain't fly'n a 2 stroke and risking cold + hot (or resultant heart) seizures, then you ain't a real AUF pilot".

 

So Cappy dumped the 912 (which he sold at a substantial profit due to Rotax's supply chain issues) and reverted to a new Blue Head that he put on Castrol R & ether, then went on to set .........

Edited October 19, 2022 by Captain

[onetrack]

.....acquire a voluptuous redhead, to match the Blue Head, which only made the other AUF fliers jealous, and more intent on.......

 

Edited October 19, 2022 by onetrack

[turboplanner]

...rubbishing him, but he bought a bright red fier suit with yellow epaulettes which identified him as a volunteer Shark Warner. He didn't make the mistake of the gyro drivers who often paid the ultimate sacrifice flying into wave while looking down at a surfer sayd "it's a XXXXXXX SHARK! S*H*A*r......... as they went under.

Instead Cappy had fitted an ex FDNY King Intersection Horn. Which worked very well. He knew the surfer got the message by the brown stain drifting downstream and the sharks turned away from it as well.

The bluehead was very reliable but the red............................

[Captain]

On 19/10/2022 at 11:41 AM, turboplanner said:

The bluehead was very reliable but the red...........

..... head down on the beach proved that her carpet matched the drapes when she ........

[turboplanner]

17 minutes ago, Captain said:

..... head down on the beach proved that her carpet matched the drapes when she ........

 .......opened the blinds. The fresh easterly breeze came in at about 1 kt; close enough to allow flying the Drifter so the redhead jumped in the Mustang, became. Redhead and six minutes later was revving the Bluehead, but suddenly.....

[Captain]

2 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

 .......opened the blinds. The fresh easterly breeze came in at about 1 kt; close enough to allow flying the Drifter so the redhead jumped in the Mustang, became. Redhead and six minutes later was revving the Bluehead, but suddenly.....

.... realized that a 1 kt breeze would see the Drifter struggling, if not flying backwards (like Caribou used to in Nam in 10 kts ..... the Vietcong never got used to shooting by allowing lead behind the Caribous instead of in front) and this resulted in the red head sidling up to Cappy, as they usually do, and also flashing her ......

[onetrack]

.....obsidian jewellery, which Cappy always thought was obscene jewellery, but this time it was.......

[turboplanner]

....real obsidian and as his teeth clamped, he heard the cracking and realised he had.......

[Captain]

17 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....real obsidian and as his teeth clamped, he heard the cracking and realised he had.......

...... broken one of the cardinal rules when cracking onto ......

[Captain]

19 hours ago, onetrack said:

..... obsidian .......

Cappy, who is ever observant, notices that Onesie is obsessed with obsidian in his usual obsequious way, which disguises his usual obstreperous attitude.

[turboplanner]

And his preference for diamonds also ignoring th warning; “don’t eat the jewellery”.

This was instilled at an early age in Turbo’s school after an outbreak of diamanté chewing among the boys, but the less cough Riverina must have missed the sessions. Feelings bit sore, Cappy reluctantly took the stick from the redhead. It had been some time since he’d flown and he wasn’t up to the stall turns and wing overs which were second nature to a Drifter whether the pilot wanted it or not. He took a closer look at the left skin; it was starting to slide off......

[Captain]

..... and there was a moggy inside it too, so he .....

 

MAVIS STILL LOOKS PRETTY GOOD, EH? AND CAPPY'S GRECIAN 2000 IS EFFECTIVE AS WELL.

 

Edited October 20, 2022 by Captain

[Captain]

38 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

And his preference for diamonds also ignoring th warning; “don’t eat the jewellery”.

This fascination for sucking diamonds had always been one that Turbo shared with AhLox ............... but this does not refer to the Netball team, I hasten to add, as Turdy has been the subject of a 20 kms radius AVO by several Diamonds team members after that unfortunate incident in Wellington when he offered to replace Gina's sponsorship if they allowed him to (censored by Moderator 26).

Edited October 20, 2022 by Captain

[onetrack]

.......put Diamonds logos on his fleet of Drifters, that he acquired in a swap deal with a little-known Arabian Prince. The Prince had ordered a fleet of 50 Drifters for tourism entertainment, after he read about Farri's exploits on the WreckedFline site, and thought it would be an excellent money-spinner and drawcard to bring in badly-needed Tourist Dollars to Arab countries, now that Petro Dollars were taking a hit from the huge surge in sales of EV's. 

However, the Princes hired Drifter plan, fell over like Cappy's last effort at sandbagging against the floods, and once Turbo got a sniff of so many Drifters going cheap, he offered the Prince a swap deal with shares in Turbine Cat Farms, and the Prince was all over it, like he'd just.........

[turboplanner]

.....won the lottery. And he had in a way because the TCF was an institution in many countries around the world, with the quaint TCF buildings designed by Turbine Architecture and Concreting Co (TACC) and the figure of Turbo clad only in a golden robe, and the money was rolling in, but the Arabs were a little more inqisitive and found out ...........