The Never Ending Story

[bull]

1 minute ago, turboplanner said:

.........but the bitch kept spinning. Nothing they tried would stop it and the aircraft, having a high aspect wing root would not fall.

 

"Don't eat all the Tim Tams" screamed Loxie, "we might be up here for a month!" but Cappy, always resourceful was pouring gin on the throttle sector, and soon had a compound as good as  the engine oil he'd used in his Jab.

 

The engine stopped screaming, rolled out of the spin and gently descended, but ...........

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

..........in all the excitement he forgot to lower the landing gear,now the warning busser [being of early british design sounded somewhat like an asthmatic woopi cushion] was doing it,s best to let Cappy know of his mistake when........................

[CT9000]

.......all on board realized that they were out of Tim Tams and now all how hope may be lost......

[bull]

6 hours ago, CT9000 said:

.......all on board realized that they were out of Tim Tams and now all how hope may be lost......

.....if Cappy does not get that gear down so we can go to the PX and get some more before Loxie goes into toxic shock!!!  Now quietly sitting down the back of the SB Bull had been sitting and observing all the theatrics and had slid under the pilots seat [the SB was a big bitch] and flipped the gear lever[yes one of those bloody big ones ] to extend and a slow grinding noise started coming from under Cappy and Turbo in the front  as the................. 

[CT9000]

.......Tim Tam jamming things ground to crumbs.......

[bull]

On 16/08/2022 at 8:46 PM, CT9000 said:

.......Tim Tam jamming things ground to crumbs.......

.as the gear slowly locked into place just before the SB and all aboard................

[turboplanner]

..........were to meet their Maker.

However, the crumbs had got into Cappy's jocks and instead of making a textbook Save and Landing as pointed out in the Turbine "Flown Like a Professional" (FLAP) [Avref], he started violently scratching and with each scratch the Bitch put her nose up in the air and then pointed down and then started a porpoising sequence of her own. You couldn't say she wasn't learning new tricks.

In one last violent scratch ...........

[CT9000]

....that drew blood....

[onetrack]

.....which then drew a gasp of horror from Cappy, which was misunderstood by the others on board, to be a last gasp of a PIC who suddenly realised he couldn't......

[CT9000]

4 hours ago, onetrack said:

.....which then drew a gasp of horror from Cappy, which was misunderstood by the others on board, to be a last gasp of a PIC who suddenly realised he couldn't......

.....really live without Tim Tams any longer and then spotted the pickup car which was .................wait for it....................a Nissan engined split window Morry Minor coming to greet them, very slowly of course because those old gearboxes don't rush.......    gearchange.........wait   ....      .........

[turboplanner]

..........another gearchange..........wait          ..... ............................

[bull]

14 hours ago, turboplanner said:

..........another gearchange..........wait          ..... ............................

.................they all realized that they where not moving as the morry had done a diff ,,,,,Well that's just dandy ,said Bull almost  killed by a British bitch and now morry quits too.. WTF is is about British shit and it's tendency of breaking all the time?,,,,[the little nissan was purring away just the british diff left the party]. Ok ,said Cappy now lets.................

Edited August 19, 2022 by bull

[turboplanner]

....get the diff out of my old Jab 230.

No one was prepared to step up and tell him, but there it is readers - and he's authorised to do full maintenance on an aircraft.

 

Turbo dragged the Morris Minor around the back and set a match to it. It seemed the kindest thing to do.

So they walked into town where .................

[CT9000]

......they realized that the Morry in the picture is a later model, a 1000.  The split window model is a 850 side valve.  Setting a match to an 850 is cause for celebration so it now time for a drink.........

[turboplanner]

............and with that Cappy started to run, but .............

[bull]

41 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

............and with that Cappy started to run, but .............

............then ,remembered his wallet was in the morry.............

Edited August 19, 2022 by bull

[turboplanner]

.............and only then remembered Loxie's long nose as the fire truck went racing past.

Now there was a problem; Loxie had a deal with the local scrap metal guy, $25 spotters fee and $50 to let a car burn out to save stripping cost, so Loxie would usually arrive and remember they left something back to the station or feign a heart attack. The trick now was to reverse the process and start the pump fast. As he ran towards the pump he cradled his arms and rocked them from side to side.

 

Loxie took the bait; he yelled "There's a baby inside!" and the Wagga Wagga Crew who'd won the Riverina fairy Competitions for the last 40 years sprang into action. A baby would have been blown 40 metres out the other side but the fire was out by the time Cappy puffed up.

 

Now he had to get his wallet and get out of there before Loxie.................

[bull]

On 20/08/2022 at 9:08 AM, turboplanner said:

.............and only then remembered Loxie's long nose as the fire truck went racing past.

Now there was a problem; Loxie had a deal with the local scrap metal guy, $25 spotters fee and $50 to let a car burn out to save stripping cost, so Loxie would usually arrive and remember they left something back to the station or feign a heart attack. The trick now was to reverse the process and start the pump fast. As he ran towards the pump he cradled his arms and rocked them from side to side.

 

Loxie took the bait; he yelled "There's a baby inside!" and the Wagga Wagga Crew who'd won the Riverina fairy Competitions for the last 40 years sprang into action. A baby would have been blown 40 metres out the other side but the fire was out by the time Cappy puffed up.

 

Now he had to get his wallet and get out of there before Loxie.................

.was exposed in the KHYBER ADVOCATE  [local rag] as several reporters where lingering around the fire. Slowly he extracted the burnt remains of his wallet from the morry and slid out behind the shed and.................

[turboplanner]

.....with an audible sigh of relief saw the five dollar note still there unburned.

Nobody realised then, but this ws to be the centrepiece of a blockbuster movie "BURNED!, the True Story" Featuring Ed Sheeran as a young Cappy learning to fly the Sopwith ...............................

[onetrack]

......after a dreadful childhood that involved dragging himself out of the gutters of Wangaratta (he had to get a job cleaning drains to find enough money to eat, after his parents ran away from him), then saving and scrimping enough from his menial jobs to put himself through matriculation, then aviation school - where he still passed, despite his learning deficiencies caused by the......

[turboplanner]

.......Phenyl he drank because his mother never gave him milk, as well as.....

[bull]

48 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.......Phenyl he drank because his mother never gave him milk, as well as.....

.his indoctrination into the labor party. Now this has made him into a..............

[turboplanner]

........mirror image of Albo, albeit a stouter version, but .......................

[bull]

23 hours ago, turboplanner said:

........mirror image of Albo, albeit a stouter version, but .......................

.still dribbled a little bit when he spoke .  Now all this aside Cappy was really in the s.....

[turboplanner]

....sunny sky envelope because he'd made a starter motor for the Sopwith Bitch, using a 1912 Springfield Fence strainer, a gear from a milking machine and a dingo trap. he had to be very careful using it because he hadn't taken the jaws off the dingo trap and he was caught for two hours by the sleeve one day when no one else was around the airport. That was all behind him now as the big radial purred and popped and he made a stead 142 knot airpseed headed for the Dubbo Show where he was being paid $5.00 to fight in the annual Dubbo vs Wagga Championship.

 

The fight tent smelled of ......................

[onetrack]

......greasy sheep, pig manure, cow manure, shearers sweat, blood - and a faint overhanging whiff of fear and trepidation.

But none of this deterred our fearless Cappy, who had landed with the tailwheel missing, a jammed elevator, and a pile of torn fabric on the horizontal stabiliser. On top of that, he'd also broken the speed record for the Dubbo trip, in that type of aircraft.

He was well pleased with himself - until he sighted the bloke he had arranged to fight. Not only was he huge, with bulging muscles that made Arnie look like a 97-pound weakling, the fact that his eyes were like.......