The Never Ending Story

[turboplanner]

.....refrain from kidnapping young floosies, murdering or passing over double lines for three months.

Turbo, OT and bull had based themselves in Wagga Wagga for this period to let the heat blow over after the incident.

They were quiet for bikies, but the talk of the town, andc people lined up along Bayliss St for their nightly ride-through [bikie term] in first gear with the ear-s[litting bursts of power necessary to clear the oil from the plugs [Harley tip] on the way to Gummly Gumly for a Parma and beer, and there ws always a lot of tittering when they arrived as the CWA brigade jostled to catch the attention of bull, who always wore his Queensland jumper under the patched leather.

Cappy, sitting in a corner eating his imported "pheasant au claire" hadn't missed the adoration and he'd nearly been knocked over by Turbo in the first ride-through, so he ordered a patched jacket and spent every night the next week, tuning up and polishing the white Suzuki.

On the following Monday he joined the group at the rear, but he noticed the crowd started to laugh as he came past in the pink machine with the effeminate (respects past, present and emerging and Albo is thinking of you) exhaust sound, but noticed as he went past that they started roaring with laughter and rolling on the footpath. Cappy had known he had to do something to offset the charisma of the other three so he'd ordered the jacket patched with the MONGOLS club brand to scare people. It wasn't until the people in the Gumly Gumly Pub started laughing that he took a look at it.

It read MONGRELS.........................

[Captain]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

....... It read MONGRELS ........

...... at which some in the audience laughed, until they realised that this new name attracted some REAL hard men who were keen to adopt the Suzuki M109 lifestyle, where garage floors could be carpeted and no backup vans were needed on rides to bring home the dead'ns.

 

The MONGRELS were also very respectful to the CWA chapters & the ladies therein, who this year were celebrating their 100 year anniversary and boy, were there ever some debauched celebrations, as those girls really know how to party.

 

Turbo was invited to give the keynote address at the Moorabbin CWA because he had been there when they kicked off as the foundation CWA branch and his speech included his usual ramblings & reminiscences about ......

Edited August 4, 2022 by Captain

[bull]

11 hours ago, Captain said:

...... at which some in the audience laughed, until they realised that this new name attracted some REAL hard men who were keen to adopt the Suzuki M109 lifestyle, where garage floors could be carpeted and no backup vans were needed on rides to bring home the dead'ns.

 

The MONGRELS were also very respectful to the CWA chapters & the ladies therein, who this year were celebrating their 100 year anniversary and boy, were there ever some debauched celebrations, as those girls really know how to party.

 

Turbo was invited to give the keynote address at the Moorabbin CWA because he had been there when they kicked off as the foundation CWA branch and his speech included his usual ramblings & reminiscences about ......

.....about the days of the BoB and the early chapters of the NES ,with hazy memories of turbo and outboards and such along with the old f16 [that he got at a car boot sale for a bargain ,guy said he had to leave the country quick so it was cheap] ahh those where good days said Elratty ,i,ll tell ya all a little story ,he said back in.............

[onetrack]

"........'44 (that's 1944, not 1844, he added), I was assigned to a base located on an Island just a few hundred NM's from Darwin (modesty prevents me from naming that Island, or the base, in case innocent parties are caught up in a backlash, he added), where it was my job to undertake routine daily reconnaissance runs in the base duty aircraft, a very tired Wirraway."

 

"Now, I realise many of the younger generations here have no idea what a Wirraway is, but I can tell you, it was regarded as a very substandard fighting aircraft by many, but in my capable hands, it was a formidable fighting machine! I'm only advising you of this, as my story involves myself in this lone Wirraway, 500 fanatical remnant Japanese soldiers on this island, and no less than THREE attacking Japanese Zeros!"

 

The audience went deathly quiet as they realised, here was a reticent WW2 veteran with a previous unacknowledged story of valour and possible awards - if only someone in authority, had known about Cappys amazing adventure, that was about to be revealed.

 

"The afternoon went like this", said Cappy. "I took off into towering thunderstorms, typical of that era, and I had to fly at 50 feet to even have a modest chance of seeing where I was going. Further to that, I had been advised, just prior to takeoff, that.........

[bull]

.the quickest escape route was 190 true on the compass and he swung it around throttled up to full and sat on course looking over his shoulder many times and he could be heard muttering something about.........

Edited August 5, 2022 by bull

[Captain]

On 05/08/2022 at 4:10 AM, turboplanner said:

....refrain from kidnapping young floosies,

I ask all NESers to note the time of Turbo's above post.

 

My training in undercover military matters makes me wary to advise the following until DNA test results are returned & checked, however it is clear that the successful drone (avref) strike against Ayman Al Zawahiri occurred just minutes after this time and it appears that Turbs may have made this post then walked out onto his balcony to give them a morning scratch and to have a quick durry.

 

 

The above photo looks just like Turbo at the last Natfly, except at that time he was wearing a baseball cap that said "I support Bedlinen" which I never understood until now, and I recall that he always wanted to be known as Al ..... which I thought at the time was just short for Alan.

 

So it appears clear that Turbo has been in hiding within the NES under a fake persona and threw everyone off the scent by claiming to be from Moorabbin, which is even sh*tier than Kabul.

 

I will update all NESers once I have more medical results.

Edited August 6, 2022 by Captain

[turboplanner]

......maps. “Maps!” thought Cappy, I forgot to pack the xxxxxxx maps!

Effortlessly he had adjusted to magnetic, so he was OK for the weather report. He needed to land on New Britain so having read and studied “We, the navigators” on Turbo’s advice (Turbo never carried maps, he’d memorised the lot.), Cappy looked down at the waves to check their direction, made a slight turn to bring Venus into his starboard window (even though it was a planet) and three hours later was sipping Kava in the NB Club. The return trip wasn’t quite so uneventful. Three Zeros suddenly appeared out of the sun. Cappy pushed the throttle to “War Power” and the Wirraway.........,

[CT9000]

......coughed and spluttered before stopping dead. The unfortunate pilot having failed to manage a flight plan now worked out that the fuel endurance of 180 minuets was fairly close to three hours....... 

[turboplanner]

..... but in fact he had. The problem was a failed O Ring on the fuel drain manufactured by Foxhunter Industries.

He couldn’t worry about that, so being careful not to stall the aircraft he wheeled around and took out a Zero then a dive followed by a zoom up downing the second Zero which had followed him down, then a pushover which brought the last Zero into his sights and a quick squeeze on the trigger and the battle was over. So was he unless......

[bull]

19 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

..... but in fact he had. The problem was a failed O Ring on the fuel drain manufactured by Foxhunter Industries.

He couldn’t worry about that, so being careful not to stall the aircraft he wheeled around and took out a Zero then a dive followed by a zoom up downing the second Zero which had followed him down, then a pushover which brought the last Zero into his sights and a quick squeeze on the trigger and the battle was over. So was he unless......

......he could land this deadstick wirraway in the drink ,,hmmmm ok  life raft,check    ration pack ,,check ,flares,check ok now for the gear!  Cappy knew that the wirraway gear with no hydralics had to be wound upp by 250 turns of a little crank handle in the cockpit.  So Cappy was pumping and swinging and pumping aand................

[onetrack]

......then the handle came away in his hand! Never to fear, he could still bale out, because he still had adequate height. So he pocketed his trusty .45 Colt, slid the canopy back, reached up with both arms and grabbed the top of the windshield with both hands (as he'd been taught), and pulled himself out into the slipstream, and threw himself over the side of the fuselage.

 

He went tumbling down, over and over, until he spreadeagled himself and stabilised his fall - then, as he went to reach for the parachute ripcord, he realised to his horror, that.......

 

(Re Cappys breathtaking Afghanistan news item above, it truly is staggering, that the wearing of a simple turban instead of a baseball cap, could turn a simple former speedway aficionado and truck salesman, into a fearsome terrorist of world renown. Please tell us this isn't true, and there has been a dreadful reporting error, because Cappy has been relying on a combination of Al Jazeera and SkyNews journalists for his intelligence reports, and as we all know, putting "Intelligence" and "News Journalists" into the same sentence, is one of the greatest oxymorons produced since Trump uttered "truthful hyperbole".....)

 

Edited August 6, 2022 by onetrack

[turboplanner]

.................he'd unzipped his fly instead.

His Cargo Pants balloned and the contents of every pocket blew off imto the slipstream. His ......................

 

[Message from TurbineWatch Inc. Cappy's story is true in some parts but we can't confirm some others. It is true that he was the model for "Three days of the Condor" but it was set in Beirut, not Washington, and in the Teheran office, dress code is a Turban, but he's a terririst on our side, not theirs.]

[bull]

19 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.................he'd unzipped his fly instead.

His Cargo Pants balloned and the contents of every pocket blew off imto the slipstream. His ......................

 

[Message from TurbineWatch Inc. Cappy's story is true in some parts but we can't confirm some others. It is true that he was the model for "Three days of the Condor" but it was set in Beirut, not Washington, and in the Teheran office, dress code is a Turban, but he's a terririst on our side, not theirs.]

...hair blown astray Cappy jubilantly stabilised his decent rate [overdue avref] and soon had full control of an 8 balloon [cause there was eight pockets] flying machine . Now old Cappy was pretty smart so he ..............

[bull]

On 07/08/2022 at 8:57 PM, bull said:

...hair blown astray Cappy jubilantly stabilised his decent rate [overdue avref] and soon had full control of an 8 balloon [cause there was eight pockets] flying machine . Now old Cappy was pretty smart so he ..............

......put the NES to sleep as the postings died off and provided him with the.............

[turboplanner]

...........opportunity to write a book on the way down. The 8-ballon cargo pants gave great stability and a very slow rate of descent, and his life passed before his eyes as he gently rocked from side to side over the desert below. He reached a point where he and Turbo, OT, CT and bull had just beaten the Hordes on the Khyber Pass. Loxie was in the fight at the beginning, but was found whimpering in a wolf den after the famous battle.  After the victorious battle, the soldiers and that wimp Loxie looked down on the town below. It was only 4 miles away, but it was 8000 feet down, and every foot was going to produce blisters.

 

Not many people know that Bill Sopwith, who owned the Sopwith aircraft company and built the famous Sopwith Pup, had also designed a troop carrier, the Sopwith Bitch and it was this infernal machine they decided to fly down to the town below.

 

Wht could go wrong; it was down all the way; they didn't even need an engine, but right from the start ..............

 

 

 

[onetrack]

....Cappy refused to take the premium-grade back seat offered to him in the Sopwith Bitch by Turbo, and wanted the drivers seat, because the SB had the biggest set of levers he'd ever seen - and a steering wheel as well - and Cappy was convinced that he could handle this Bitch better than anyone else on board. And besides, as it was his birthday to boot, he thought it was time he demanded concessions related to his age and his .....

 

Edited August 14, 2022 by onetrack

[turboplanner]

.......manhood. But the bitch was having none of that. She limped into the air on the downhill runway and despite picking up speed under full power in a glide slope, viciously dropped a wing. Cappy spun the big wheel which promptly slammed into his..........

[bull]

7 hours ago, turboplanner said:

.......manhood. But the bitch was having none of that. She limped into the air on the downhill runway and despite picking up speed under full power in a glide slope, viciously dropped a wing. Cappy spun the big wheel which promptly slammed into his..........

........brand new 1800 dollar ipad with  combined flight log and navigation information !!! Now all this did not worry him so much ,but the fact that it had slid off his lap and was now jamming the.....................

Edited August 15, 2022 by bull

[CT9000]

......elevator so could no longer hold full back stick,  how on earth could he keep in in a spin? .....

[turboplanner]

...........and then he remembered Turbo's advice "Never Give Up", and he slid back the seat and reached for .............

 

 

[bull]

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

...........and then he remembered Turbo's advice "Never Give Up", and he slid back the seat and reached for .............

 

 

.....his trim wheel[avref]and by mistake grabbed loxie,s............

[onetrack]

......bulging wallet - whereby Loxie smacked his hand away, leading to even more confusion in Cappys mind, as he couldn't figure out why Loxie was smacking his hand away from the trim wheel, unless it was because.....

[turboplanner]

........Loxie thought Cappy was making a grab for his packet of Tim Tams so he snatched at the packet, missed, and TIm Tams flew all over the cockpit, one jamming the throttle..................

[CT9000]

....wide open. Now the checklist for spinning an aircraft. 1   Full back stick so it stalls, check

                                                                                              2  Full throttle to keep the rotation going,  check

                                                                                              3  Rudder into spin,  check

                                                                                              4  Aileron opposite down going wing,  check

 

Should be ok to keep it spinning now. As everyone knows that spinning an aircraft may reduce the rate of decent a bit.....

[turboplanner]

.........but the bitch kept spinning. Nothing they tried would stop it and the aircraft, having a high aspect wing root would not fall.

 

"Don't eat all the Tim Tams" screamed Loxie, "we might be up here for a month!" but Cappy, always resourceful was pouring gin on the throttle sector, and soon had a compound as good as  the engine oil he'd used in his Jab.

 

The engine stopped screaming, rolled out of the spin and gently descended, but ...........