Ben Longden Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 A beautiful fairy appeared one day to an asylum seeker claimant outside the Centrelink Offices. 'My good man,' the fairy said, 'I've been told by Julia Gillard to grant you three wishes, since you've just arrived in Australia with your wife and seven children -- all costs to be borne by Australian Tax Payers.' The man told the fairy: 'Well, where I come from we don't have good teeth, so I want new teeth, maybe a lot of gold in them.' The fairy looked at the man's almost toothless grin and PING !!! The Asylum Seeker had a brand new shining set of gold teeth in his mouth! 'What else?' asked the fairy, 'two more wishes to go! The Asylum Seeker refugee claimant now got bolder. 'I need a big house with a three car garage on the Gold Coast with eight bedrooms - and a Gold Visa Card in each room - for my family and the rest of my refugee relatives who still live in the old country . I want to bring them all over here' PING ! - In the distance there could be seen a beautiful mansion with a three car garage, a long driveway, a walkout patio with a BBQ, and a sparkling swimming pool and a CLK, full of his nephews playing their music. 'One more wish left for you', said the fairy, waving her wand. The Asylum Seeker refugee claimant really decided to go for broke now and said "I want to be Australian with Australian clothes instead of the rags and shawl, and I want to have white skin like the Australians.' PING ! - The man was transformed, wearing worn out Stubbies shorts, a dirty Bonds T-shirt and a greasy terry-towel hat. He had his bad teeth back and the mansion had disappeared from the horizon. 'What happened to my new teeth?' he wailed. 'Where is my new house? Where's my Visa Gold Card?' The fairy said 'Tough luck. Now that you are Australian, you're entitled to sweet F@#k all, just like the rest of us". And she disappeared........ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
av8vfr Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 More truth than funny...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazza 38 Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 So true.On TV I think it was Today Tonight or The Project. Anyway they where interviewing and filming refugees in a Brisbane Hotel.$400 a week.Free internet,medical etc etc. The upside has been a few hotel/motel businesses have been saved from going broke, from the income they are receiving from the government, for housing the refugees.Thats a good thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Litespeed Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 So true.On TV I think it was Today Tonighoo or The Project. Anyway they where interviewing and filming refugees in a Brisbane Hotel.$400 a week.Free internet,medical etc etc.The upside has been a few hotel/motel businesses have been saved from going broke, from the income they are receiving from the government, for housing the refugees.Thats a good thing. The joke was good and like all good jokes runs a kernal of truth and a heap of hyperbole. Dazza your onto a small bit of the truth. That $400 is absolute gold for the community it is spent in and a bargain in all respects. The cost in dentention is close to $1000 a day, not including big profits for the private corp SERCO, part of Halliburton. And for that we create damaged humans. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazza 38 Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Hi LS, It was good when they interviewed different hotel/motels around the country.(Different TV programme from memory).They where so happy.It sounded like alot of them would have been looking at closure within a few weeks.(GFC) As you have already mentioned, the refugees spend the money in the communities which helps the communities survive.Which is great for the country towns. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winsor68 Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 This is so OFFENSIVE in so many ways... You should be ashamed of yourself. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeadInTheClouds Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Bit of an exaggeration (Actually a lot...) and a lot of misinformed judgements in this so called 'joke' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Litespeed Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Hi LS, It was good when they interviewed different hotel/motels around the country.(Different TV programme from memory).They where so happy.It sounded like alot of them would have been looking at closure within a few weeks.(GFC) As you have already mentioned, the refugees spend the money in the communities which helps the communities survive.Which is great for the country towns. I think it was King Island that had a abattoir and a need of workers to stay alive, the school was closing from too few students, the shops were struggling. They stood up and asked to have refugees come live on the island. All of a sudden the new arrivals were employed, reviving the local economy, keeping the school and thus the future of the island alive and making it grow again. At the beginning we were all refugees, immigrants, convicts etc........excepting rightfull owners of the land, the Aboriginal tribes. We all benefited from our own efforts and mostly from the sweat of those that lived before us. We are a country that gives a hand up and not a kick in the guts to those who need a hand. At least I hope we are. As a Aussie of Convict past from 1836, my ancestors were considered the disposable flotsam and jettson- sent to Australia for toil. They made good, worked hard and became respected and valued members of the land. Despite all the hyperbole................they risk their lives to escape whatever drives them to get here and find solace, safety. Lets give them a go. Litespeed 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Old Koreelah Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Like it or not, this continent is likely to see enormous numbers of boat people in the near future. In the past, as under Malcolm Fraser's administration, we welcomed large numbers of desperate people, and Australian has benefitted greatly. Let's face the facts: we need the energy, drive and skills of new people, because not enough Australians are putting in the effort to study the hard subjects: sciences, languages, engineering. As Litespeed said, our ancestors had to survive a long and dangerous boat trip to get here. What better way for people to prove their determination to become Australians? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaz3g Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 The cost in dentention is close to $1000 a day, not including big profits for the private corp SERCO, part of Halliburton. And for that we create damaged humans. And this is so true of gaol as well. We have a new government in Victoria which is doing the "tough on crime" thing. Good for votes but actually bad for the community. They are introducing "tougher" sentences (limiting the options available to Courts), building a new gaol ($1b) and talking about mandatory sentencing for child offenders. Despite all the hyperbole and vicious spin in the popular media, the evidence clearly says that these measures DON'T work. The media gives a 3 paragraph story on a particular court case and then declares the Court to have been "soft on crime". It doesn't explain the many hours or days of evidence given to the Court and its subsequent agonising over sentence as it seeks to ballance the requirements of punishment and deterrence against those of rehabilitation and the special circumstances of the offender (such as mental health, intellectual impairment, provocation and demonstrated remorse). We can keep the great majority of people who commit crimes safely in the community if we (society) address the underlying issues. We can provide supported accommodation, counselling and treatment in conjunction with community-based dispositions at a fraction of the cost of housing the same person in gaol. The person on a community order does some work and gives back to the community rather than just taking from it. He or she is forced to engage with responsible members of the community and treating professionals, is under close supervision and monitoring (especially if drugs/alcohol involvement is a factor), and hopefully learns some employment social skills that will help ensure they lead a better life upon completion of sentence. Cost is about $40k pa. Alternatively, we can lock them up with the very worst so they make new friends, learn new criminal skills and come out angry with society for being incarcerated which means spending huge sums on new infrastructure and increased recurrent expenditure on prisons and the people to staff them (the profits go to the US companies that specialise in the prison industrial complexes created by such policies). The evidence of the Tamworth Institute as a school where juveniles became killers was only very recently placed in front of the community of NSW. The Russell Street bombing and the Walsh Street killings of police officers were directly a result of the de-humanisation of inmates of Victoria's last electronic zoo -- Jika Jika -- but it seems our politicians learned nothing from these. Cost is about $140k pa. And I have had a number of clients tell me from their own experience that it is easier to get drugs in prison than outside and there is less risk of being caught doing it. The drugs are provided on "credit" and the buyer pays the debt after release by doing more and bigger crimes in company with his new "friends"! Victoria doesn't yet have a broad crime and corruption body and prison officers are not searched when they enter the workplace (unlike all visitors including the lawyers). Wonder how all those drugs get in??? Sorry if I am rattling on. Its been a long year and I go back mid-January to a horrendous new sentencing regime that is strong on punishment and very short on any sort of therapeutic options that might actually lead to a reduction in crime rates in the community. California, that introduced the tough-on-crime policies of it's B grade movie star governor now spends more on gaols than it does on health and education combined. and NSW is now reversing its former "put 'em inside" approach because it has finally dawned on them that this isn't working. Now Victorian taxpayers will have to pay for the spin doctors' folly and a new generation will have to deal with those who come out of prison as better and harder criminals than when they went in. If you are interested in these issues then please, look beyond the crap in the Murdoch press and the 2 minute grabs on TV. Ask yourself do you want to pay significantly increased taxes to house people in gaols run by international companies or do you want to ensure that proper resources are available in the community to keep the majority of offenders out of gaol in a more productive and substantially less expensive justice model. I'd rather spend my money on avgas than more gaols. kaz kaz 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kaz3g Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 probably not popular but how about we bring back flogging,,,you graffiti ,10 whacks with a cane,,,play up in your car(burnouts etc) 10 whacks,,,low level crime (shop lifting, fuel drive offs, ) 15 whacks ,, destroying public property, 15 whacks,,,,punish the offender, set them free ,justice is served ,the perp has bad memories of his altercation,,,,as for the joke ,,,IF YOU DON'T LIKE NON PC JOKES DON'T READ THEM!!!! I thought it was a chuckle!! Why aren't you at work, Matt??? I had a chuckle at the joke, too... but I had to make the point about the serious side of the issue. I'm old enough to remember when they did "whack" people in prison, Matt. The last was William John O'Meally who became one of the worst of hardened criminals seen in Victoria. He spoke many years later of the effect his corporal punishment had on him and the anger he was releasing by engaging in further violent offences because of it. Warders of H Division at Pentridge for many years engaged in the "bash"... a ritual in which new prisoners entering H had to run a gauntlet of prison officers wielding their batons. Didn't do much good, either. How many on this list can honestly say they have never got into their car and driven home after a few drinks when they may have been a tad over the limit? And how many can say they have never squeeked through an intersection as the lights changed to red? Have an accident on such an occasion and kill or seriously injure someone and it's off to gaol you go, first offender or not. kaz Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dazza 38 Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Could always shoot the bad ass criminals to cull the population in prison.I suppose Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winsor68 Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 And while its all good and fair to trust in your own beliefs when they exist at the expense of another based upon racist untruths it is crossing a line... legally and morally. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ausmo Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 I think it was King Island that had a abattoir and a need of workers to stay alive, the school was closing from too few students, the shops were struggling.They stood up and asked to have refugees come live on the island. All of a sudden the new arrivals were employed, reviving the local economy, keeping the school and thus the future of the island alive and making it grow again. At the beginning we were all refugees, immigrants, convicts etc........excepting rightfull owners of the land, the Aboriginal tribes. We all benefited from our own efforts and mostly from the sweat of those that lived before us. We are a country that gives a hand up and not a kick in the guts to those who need a hand. At least I hope we are............. I'd be proud to be a citizen in a country that welcomed refugees and treated them with compassion, respect and dignity. This is a hallmark of a civilised country. So what are we? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thirsty Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 I agree Metalman -if you don't like this kind of humour don't read it! I'm a bit sick and tired of being told what I can and can't say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winsor68 Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 I agree Metalman -if you don't like this kind of humour don't read it. ! I'm a bit sick and tired of being told what I can and can't say. It's not about what you can and can't say... its about not spreading poisonous untruths around our community. In order for this to be remotely humorous you would have to think that the statement contained within is true... this is ignorant and inflammatory. 5 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winsor68 Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 http://www.refugeecouncil.org.au/current/myths.html Read the facts... if you come back with the same rubbish do the rest of humanity a favour and give yourself a good slap to try and get some sense into you... 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thirsty Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 Geez why do you continue to post on this thread if it's so offensive to you? Are you trying to convert us to your way of thinking or your version of the truth?? Leave me alone to enjoy what I want. I for one support free speech even if it may offend some. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winsor68 Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 Because ignorance is not OK. GET IT! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skeptic36 Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 ________________________________  Whether you love him or hate him, he hits a raw nerve! Maybe Pauline Hansen can join him. Bob Katter…. Saying it as it is: ---------------------------------------------------------------------- "I am the Labor Party's Worst Nightmare. I am a White, Conservative, Tax-Paying, God fearing Australian. I am a hard working Australian and I work long hours to earn a living. I believe in God and the freedom of religion, but I don't push it on others. I drive Australian-made cars, and I believe in Australian products and buy them whenever I can. I believe the money I make belongs to me and not some bloody governmental functionary, Labor/Greens or Liberal, that wants to share it with others who don't work! I'm in touch with my feelings and I like it that way! I think owning a home doesn't make you a capitalist; it makes you a smart Australian. I think being a minority does not make you noble or victimized, and does not entitle you to anything. Get over it! I believe that if you are selling me a Big Mac or any other item, you should do it in English. I believe there should be no other language option. I believe everyone has a right to pray to his or her God when and where they want to. My heroes are, fellow Australians like Don Bradman, Steve Waugh, Alan Langer, Slim Dusty, Fred Hollows and the Aussie scientists who invented the bionic ear – missed a few I know. I don't hate the rich, but hate the way they always find ways to pay less taxes. I don't pity the poor, I hate the way they are always crying that they are hard done by!! I know wrestling is fake and I don't waste my time watching or arguing about it. I believe if you don't like the way things are here, go back to where you came from and change your own country! This is AUSTRALIA....We like it the way it is and more so the way it was...so stop trying to change it to look like some other socialist country! If you were born or legally migrated here and don't like it... you are free to move to any Socialist country that will have you. (And take Julie Gillard and her group with you.) I believe it is time to really clean house, starting with the Lodge, the seat of our biggest problems. I want to know exactly, where the "Do Gooder's" get their money from, and why are they always part of the problem and not the solution? Can I get an AMEN on that one? I also think the cops have the right to pull you over if you're breaking the law, regardless of what race, color or creed you are, but not just because you happen to be an illegal alien and scream that they are "RACISTS PIGS". And, no, I don't mind having my face shown on my driver's license. I think it's good.... I dislike those people standing in the intersections trying to sell me stuff or trying to guilt me into making 'donations' to their cause....Get a job and do your part to support yourself and your family! I believe that it doesn't take all the intellectuals to raise a child, it takes two parents.... I believe 'illegal' is illegal no matter what the lawyers think! I believe the Australian flag should be the only ones allowed to be flown in Australia ! If this makes me a BAD Australian, then yes, I'm a BAD Australian. If you are a BAD Australian too, please forward this to everyone you know.... We want our country back! My Country..... I hope this offends all illegal aliens. My great, great, great grandfather watched as his friends died in the Boer War. My grandfather watched and bled as his friends died in World Wars 1&2. My grandfather watched as his friends & brothers died in the Depression of 32. My father watched as his friends died in Korea. I watched as my friends died in Vietnam, East Timor & Desert Storm. Our son's and daughters watched & bled as their friends died in Afghanistan and Iraq . None of them died for the Afghanistan and Iraq Flag. Every Australian died for the Australian flag. At a Victorian high school foreign students raised a Middle East flag on a school flag pole. Australian students took it down. Guess who was expelled..the students who took it down. West Australian high school students were sent home, because they wore T-shirts with the Australian flag printed on them. Enough is enough. This message needs to be viewed by every Australian; and every Australian needs to stand up for Australia. We've bent over to appease the Aussie-haters long enough. I'm taking a stand. I'm standing up because of the hundreds of thousands who died fighting in wars for this country, and for the Australian flag. And shame on anyone who tries to make this a racist message. AUSTRALIANS, stop giving away Your RIGHTS ! THIS IS OUR COUNTRY ! This statement DOES NOT mean I'm against immigration ! YOU ARE WELCOME HERE, IN MY COUNTRY, welcome to come legally: 1. Get a sponsor ! 2. Learn the LANGUAGE, as immigrants have in the past! 3. Live by OUR rules ! Dress as we Australians Do 4. Get a job ! 5. Pay YOUR Taxes ! 6. No Social Security until you have earned it and Paid for it ! 7. NOW find a place to lay your head ! If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone, then YOU'RE PART OF THE PROBLEM ! We've gone so far the other way...bent over backwards not to offend anyone. Only AUSTRALIANS seem to care when Australian Citizens are being offended ! WAKE UP AUSTRALIA ! ! ! If you do not Pass this on, may your fingers cramp ! Made in AUSTRALIA & DAMN PROUD OF IT!!!!!" AMEN  Written by Bob Katter  Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winsor68 Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 Written by Bob Katter my Arxe... And by the way not even Bob Katter speaks so fluently as this stolen and oft repeated Tea Party Nutjob story... Are you really all that gullible? 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gnarly Gnu Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 Lefties don't get humour, or reality. Besides tough week for them with much admired Kim entering hell and now Gillard grasping the Nauru nettle. OK not her, she wouldn't break her holiday over a few dozen of economic migrants drowning. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Litespeed Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 Could always shoot the bad ass criminals to cull the population in prison.I suppose Big problem there, is once you start culling prison officers- who will lock the prisoners in? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HeadInTheClouds Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 That's rich, don't see Bob Katter either: A - Getting an indigenous sponsor B - Learning a native indigenous language Every non-indigenous person in Australia is an immigrant but it seems like that detail is conveniently forgotten when people want to get up on their high horse about refugees and 'boat people' thinking it's a massive threat to our culture and values (What values?...). For christ's sake they are still PEOPLE. They are HUMAN and if they have the guts to get on a tiny unseaworthy boat for the faint hope of better living conditions then good on them. Sure there will be some who abuse this system but the percentage of those who do that would be far far less than the percentage of Australians abusing our system for their own personal gain. And what is our culture today? "Australian" culture isn't particularly strong if you ask me, the thing that makes up Australian culture is the influences from other cultures, and I bet if we lived in an Australia without ANY 'illegal' immigration throughout history it would be a very boring place indeed..... Having the prejudice that anyone who isn't an Australian living here is a subordinate is racist and there is no argument to that. I remember watching a good documentary and reading a scientific paper (Yes that scary science word that so many conservatives seem to fear....) which was pretty conclusive evidence that all human's came from Africa, and that anyone with white skin was a mutation of the dark skinned African origin. It had a lot to do with the levels of ultraviolet light, people who stayed in Africa kept their dark skin because of high levels of UV light and the need to protect from the sun. People who moved up and into Europe no longer needed that defence from UV light and were infact not getting enough so they developed a lighter skin colour, and people who moved up into the Middle East area are somewhere in between. 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gnarly Gnu Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 Big problem there, is once you start culling prison officers- who will lock the prisoners in? Someone a few posts back wants to let them out. Now gotta admit THAT was funny! Presumably not living next to him of course... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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