Phil Perry Posted April 14, 2013 Share Posted April 14, 2013 Whilst on business in London recently. . .I went to an Australian "Theme Pub" . Even the bar staff appeared to be Genuine Aussies. There was one old geezer, parked on a stool in a dark corner who introduced himself as "Vince" from Echuca. Being a nice sort of bloke, I bought him a beer ( as you do ) and he recounteed some old Aussie stories, bursting into uncontrolled fits of laughter after the punchline in each one. . . . . The one I remember best goes like this, but someone will have to explain it to me, as I didn't understand the vernacular. It went like this. . . . Me and me mate were working on a farm up near the Murray River. . . and the owner told me mate to go out and get a trailer load of Mallee Roots. . and the silly beggar came back with the Swan Hill Marching Girls . . . ." ( ? ) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wayne T Mathews Posted April 14, 2013 Share Posted April 14, 2013 Wow !!! You met old Vince in England... Crickey, the old bloke has been threatening to go over and teach the Poms a thing or three for ages, and now you're telling us he's finnally done it? Wow !!! In the old days, when the mallee country (Google Mallee) of N - NW Victoria (which is where Swan Hill is) was being cleared so the land owners could grow wheat, the roots of the Mallee scrub trees had to be grubbed from the ground. Because "Mallee roots" would burn down easily, and with tremendous heat, to a fine ash that resembled talcum powder, they were a prized fuel for the wood burning stoves people had in those days. I've seen photos of train loads of "mallee roots" being transported to Melbourne for that purpose. Now, in the Australian vernacular, "root" is as "screw" is to Americans. Does it make sense now? 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metalman Posted April 14, 2013 Share Posted April 14, 2013 Funny,,,hehehehehe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Perry Posted April 14, 2013 Author Share Posted April 14, 2013 Wow !!! You met old Vince in England... Crickey, the old bloke has been threatening to go over and teach the Poms a thing or three for ages, and now you're telling us he's finnally done it? Wow !!!In the old days, when the mallee country (Google Mallee) of N - NW Victoria (which is where Swan Hill is) was being cleared so the land owners could grow wheat, the roots of the Mallee scrub trees had to be grubbed from the ground. Because "Mallee roots" would burn down easily, and with tremendous heat, to a fine ash that resembled talcum powder, they were a prized fuel for the wood burning stoves people had in those days. I've seen photos of train loads of "mallee roots" being transported to Melbourne for that purpose. Now, in the Australian vernacular, "root" is as "screw" is to Americans. Does it make sense now? ERRR,. . . . thanks Wayne ( I think, ) so,. . . .you mean that a root is the same as a metal device with some sort of helical thread cut into it to enable a suitable piece of machinery to rotate it into a solid object,. . . ???? I'm still confused . Sorry to sound a little thick. Phil . . . ( Catholic Priest - St. Augustines Church, Rugeley Road, Hednesford, Staffordshire, WS11 5xb ) 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
old man emu Posted April 14, 2013 Share Posted April 14, 2013 Phil, Consider this. A bloke who visits a lady for dinner; then engages in some horizontal calesthenics with her, and departs is known as a "wombat". A wombat eats, roots and leaves. OME 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Perry Posted April 14, 2013 Author Share Posted April 14, 2013 Phil,Consider this. A bloke who visits a lady for dinner; then engages in some horizontal calesthenics with her, and departs is known as a "wombat". A wombat eats, roots and leaves. OME Oh My goodness,. . . . . is this something to do with physical sex, oh dear, that is a little outside my remit my son. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Riley Posted April 14, 2013 Share Posted April 14, 2013 Oh My goodness,. . . . . is this something to do with physical sex, oh dear, that is a little outside my remit my son. Boys , Perry's pulling yer pissers! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
facthunter Posted April 15, 2013 Share Posted April 15, 2013 Never saw any Swan Hill Marching Girls when I lived at BOGA. ( a suburb). Maybe someone with a new Falcon ute came along and "pulled" them away. Nev 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted April 15, 2013 Share Posted April 15, 2013 Well bugger me FH, I always THOUGHT you were a Bogan but was never quite sure! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
facthunter Posted April 15, 2013 Share Posted April 15, 2013 It's actually Lake Boga so maybe I was a Lake Bogian person . Nev 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
turboplanner Posted April 15, 2013 Share Posted April 15, 2013 Didn't realise you were amphibious Nev, your secret is safe with me..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Perry Posted April 15, 2013 Author Share Posted April 15, 2013 Boys , Perry's pulling yer pissers! Curses Riley . . . . Foiled again. . . how did you know, . . ? was me dog collar on crooked ? ? ? Phil 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibbo Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 Never saw any Swan Hill Marching Girls when I lived at BOGA. ( a suburb). Maybe someone with a new Falcon ute came along and "pulled" them away. Nev That would be a couple of good looking Rosters in a Hilux.. No one in a falcon would have a hope these days. lol 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Perry Posted April 17, 2013 Author Share Posted April 17, 2013 Never saw any Swan Hill Marching Girls when I lived at BOGA. ( a suburb). Maybe someone with a new Falcon ute came along and "pulled" them away. Nev Actually NEV, IT WAS JUST A PLAIN OLD JOKE . . . . . . I heard it when I flew in to Bendigo one afternoon with the couple I met when Wifey and I were on the Pommie convict immigrant ship ( £10 Pound Poms ) from England in 1970, and we met up by accident, and following my Aviation Tales, they agreed to fly with me from Casey Airfield to Bendigo for some snap and a cuppa. Whilst i the process of being told by my passengers what a GOOD pilot I had become. . . , I got distracted and landed downwind. . . . . We met a local bloke named "Vince" who, apparently, used to be a pilot, he carried his logbook around, and if true, he had had a very long career. But apart from this, he was a REALLY good storyteller. And the "Mallee Roots" thing was one of his, I didn't understand it at the time. It's amazing how a "One Liner" can create a thread innit ? . . . . . . . ! ! ! And . . . If you know him. . . can you ask Gibbo sometime what the hell "Roster" means ?? Sounds like it might be a masculine title,. . .? Because, I don't remember that bit of vernacular. . . . . I might need this information, when I finally get down to wrting my next book, entitled, "They're a weird Aviation Mob" ( with apologies again to the family of the late, great Nino Culotta ( or John O'Grady ) Phil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pmccarthy Posted April 17, 2013 Share Posted April 17, 2013 There is a t shirt popular in the US that is simply marked ROOTS in big letters. Now also in Oz. My wife has one and I've been threatening to get one that says DOESN'T. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Perry Posted April 17, 2013 Author Share Posted April 17, 2013 There is a t shirt popular in the US that is simply marked ROOTS in big letters. Now also in Oz. My wife has one and I've been threatening to get one that says DOESN'T. PM. . . . . . . ? Should that shirt you're thinking about actually say. . . . "NO SHE DOESN'T. . . " ??? Just wondered. . . . . ( ! ) BTW, if you get a couple made, can I have one please, ?? as this applies to my other half as well. PS,. . . my size is XXL. . . . . . Phil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomo Posted April 18, 2013 Share Posted April 18, 2013 what the hell "Roster" means ?? Sounds like it might be a masculine title,. . . Like this : a list or plan showing turns of duty or leave for individuals or groups in an organization: next week's duty roster.• a list of members of a team or organization, in particular of sports players available for team selection.verb [ with obj. ] chiefly Brit.place on or assign according to a duty roster: the locomotive is rostered for service on Sunday.ORIGIN early 18th cent. (originally denoting a list of duties and leave for military personnel): from Dutch rooster ‘list’, earlier ‘gridiron’, fromroosten ‘to roast’, with reference to its parallel lines. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Perry Posted April 18, 2013 Author Share Posted April 18, 2013 Like this :a list or plan showing turns of duty or leave for individuals or groups in an organization: next week's duty roster.• a list of members of a team or organization, in particular of sports players available for team selection.verb [ with obj. ] chiefly Brit.place on or assign according to a duty roster: the locomotive is rostered for service on Sunday.ORIGIN early 18th cent. (originally denoting a list of duties and leave for military personnel): from Dutch rooster ‘list’, earlier ‘gridiron’, fromroosten ‘to roast’, with reference to its parallel lines. Tomo, I need to have a quiet talk with you my boy. . . . . assuming you're not ROSTERED to feed the ROOSTERS for ROASTIN . . . Phil 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bexrbetter Posted April 18, 2013 Share Posted April 18, 2013 . assuming you're not ROSTERED to feed the ROOSTERS for ROASTIN . . . I heard he was touted to toast toads actually. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Perry Posted April 18, 2013 Author Share Posted April 18, 2013 I heard he was touted to toast toads actually. Hmmm. . . . better than paddlin down the creek in a rough cut punt I guess. . . . . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bexrbetter Posted April 18, 2013 Share Posted April 18, 2013 Hmmm. . . . better than paddlin down the creek in a rough cut punt I guess. . . . . I'm leaving that one alone .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Perry Posted April 18, 2013 Author Share Posted April 18, 2013 I'm leaving that one alone .... Yes Bex. . . . . .it's probably more tongue twisting than the one about she sells sea shells by the sea shore. . . . . . BUT Heres another one. . . .( won't work in China though ) try telling friends that, as a pilot,. . .you were specially trained to think extremely quickly, and then tell them that to get a pilot licence, they would also have to think very quickly. . . .You then tell them that one of the tests went like this. . . . . You tell your poor subject to answer the question as FAST as they possibly can, and that if they have to stop and think, it just proves that they are as thick as two short planks and could NEVER be a pilot like you. . . Incredibly. . . MOST PEOPLE will fall for this. . . . . You give them a BIG build up and tell them that they have to answer IMMEDIATELY, no time to think, . . .otherwise they fail the test. The question is this, . . . and you have to ask it very quickly. . . . . HOW DO YOU SPELL SHOP ? they will invariably answer,. "ESS, AITCH, OH, PEE" or SHOP in english.. . . then, without a millisecond delay, you must ask,. . . " Whaddyer do when you come to a GREEN light, ? . . . . .99.9 percent of them will immediately say, "STOP". . . . . . . Some of them even spell it out for you ! ! ! It's some kind of mental association block. . . .and they kick themselves afterwards. It works, . . . if you don't believe me, just try it on friends who are unlikely to hit you, BUT don't forget the serious Build-Up, or it is unliely to work. . . !. I learned this whilst being trained as an interrogator. . but that's another story. ! Try it and . . . .Please,. . . .report your findings to us in the "Off Topic" section, we might even make a POLL of the answers ! ! ! ! Phil Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tomo Posted April 18, 2013 Share Posted April 18, 2013 Tomo, I need to have a quiet talk with you my boy. . . . . assuming you're not ROSTERED to feed the ROOSTERS for ROASTIN . . .Phil Innocents is blisssssssss...... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gibbo Posted April 22, 2013 Share Posted April 22, 2013 This may go someway to explaining 'roosters' for our non strine speaking friends. lol https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTuYiLT9oMw Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Phil Perry Posted April 22, 2013 Author Share Posted April 22, 2013 This may go someway to explaining 'roosters' for our non strine speaking friends. lolhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTuYiLT9oMw GIBBO. . . . you prawn. . . . . yer fooled me with yer bad spelling blue. . . . . ." ROOSTERS" and "R O S T E R S" have "slightly" different linguistic connotations mon ami ! ! ! Or, as Mick Jagger used to sing. . . . . AAAAHHM a liddle red ROSTER. . . . . toooo lazy to do my shift. . . . . . Boom Dah Dah Dah. . . . Phil ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now