cscotthendry Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 1. Never take an open stubby to a job interview. 2. Always identify people in your paddocks before shooting at them. 3. If you have to vacuum the bed, it's time to change the sheets. 4. Even if you're certain you're included in the will, it's rude to take your ute and trailer to the funeral. DINING OUT: 1. When decanting wine from the box, tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so as not to bruise the wine. 2. If drinking directly from the bottle, hold it with only one hand. ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME: 1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist. 2. Don't allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his manners. DATING: 1. Always offer to bait your date's hook - especially on the first date. 2. Establish with her parents what time she's expected back. Some will say 11:00 PM, others might say 'Monday.' If the latter is the answer, it's the man's responsibility to get her to school on time. THEATRE/CINEMA ETIQUETTE: 1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up after the movie ends. 2. Refrain from yelling abuse at characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you. WEDDINGS: 1. Kissing the bride for more than five seconds may cause a drop in your popularity. (Excessive use of the tongue is also considered out of place.) 2. Though uncomfortable, say 'yes' to socks and shoes for the occasion. DRIVING ETIQUETTE: 1. When entering a roundabout, the vehicle with the largest roo bar doesn't always have the right of way. 2. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape. 3. When sending your wife down the road with a petrol can, it's impolite to ask her to bring back beer too. 1 1 6 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rgmwa Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 Q. How do you recognise the typical Queenslander? A. He'll be wearing thongs, singlet and stubbies. Q. How do you recognise the well-dressed Queenslander? A. Matching thongs. (Of course, that wouldn't apply to any of you Qld pilots, would it? ... or would it?) rgmwa Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mick Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 Only use your own ute keys to clean your ears! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jabiru7252 Posted April 1, 2014 Share Posted April 1, 2014 If some folks get their way these joke will see you in jail. Remember - political correctness was invented by the Nazis. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Russ Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 Foreplay............Oye, are you awake? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Yenn Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 Why bother with the singlet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gnarly Gnu Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 political correctness was invented by the Nazis. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EjaBpVzOohs. PC = cultural Marxism. PC is loved by lefties for this reason. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bexrbetter Posted April 2, 2014 Share Posted April 2, 2014 Foreplay............Oye, are you awake? You get past "Oi" (and a nudge in the back)? You must be one of them cultured people. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Russ Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 Do you talk to your wife when having sex.......... Sometimes, ........I might give her s call on my mobile if it,s handy. ( etiquette. ) 3 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
metalman Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 Got a leaflet in the mail the other day, said "You too can have sex at 82",,,,,, I thought , great I'm at 72 , I can walk home afterwards 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
red750 Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 And you don't even have to cross the street! 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jabiru7252 Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 Aussie etiquette is when a checkout chick neither says please or thankyou when you're being served and then abuses you when you politely ask why she doesn't. Sad effing world. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bexrbetter Posted April 3, 2014 Share Posted April 3, 2014 Aussie etiquette is when a checkout chick neither says please or thankyou when you're being served and then abuses you when you politely ask why she doesn't. Sad effing world. Your asking the wrong question, ask her to send you a "thank you" text. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marty_d Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 Yep. The belief that everyone should be an ignorant bigot and abuse anyone they like, on the other hand, lies firmly with the right. (As did Hitler). 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
facthunter Posted April 4, 2014 Share Posted April 4, 2014 Certainly, setting out to vilify unpopular groups was foremost in Hitlers methods. Nev 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cscotthendry Posted April 4, 2014 Author Share Posted April 4, 2014 OMG You come up with some of the craziest stuff! Where do you get it from,The Blot report? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Russ Posted April 5, 2014 Share Posted April 5, 2014 14 yr old son reveals to his parents he just had his first sexual experience, dad says you little ripper. Next day his 15 yr old daughter revealed the same thing.....she was grounded for a month. Father found the lad and bashed him for touching his daughter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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