Jump to content

The Never Ending Story


Admin

Recommended Posts

The Rat went back and back and back, looking for the last set of dots with which to link into the NES, and low-&-behold (LAB) it is his own post way back there, so no point in trying to add anything until one of the others do.

 

Although El Ratto does note that the CT9000 appears to have taken up a position as the head of the DG Promotional and Apologistic Committee NTTIAWWT (the DGP&AC-NTTIAWWT), as well as being the Mayor, Chief Pilot & Rabbit Controller.

Edited by Captain
  • Caution 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

NEW FLASH!! - For all NES Readers! It has been noted that Darraweit Guim has now been catapulted into the big league, aviation-wise - with no less than THREE airstrips!

 

Shortly, the DG Mayor, CT9000, will be applying to have them all listed as International Airports, and with the planned major Quarantine Facility also planned for DG, this will thrust DG onto the World Stage, as a vital link in Australias contact with the outside world!

 

The DG mayor is now looking for interested parties to submit major development proposals for............

Link to comment
Share on other sites

[After a complaint by user Rat to the caution given by Turbo, the Caution is upheld on the basis that the Rat has been involved in more dot abuse than Donald Trump, and is the last person to be bullying and gender bashing when another poster makes a small mistake. Moderator 12]

 

 

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

24 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

...........a footpath, swimming hole nd part time rabbit fumigator who will also ................

........ quote on removing all infrastructure from Tullamarine, Essendon and Moorabbin, transporting to DG and rebuilding there (but the DG Scope of Works documents, as seen exclusively by Cappy, also requires that the Qantas HQ be relocated, along with all engine testing facilities).

 

The Scope documents also include for a high-rise precinct (15 stories limit but they'll give you more if you give CT a sling) and a new 5000 residence housing estate in DG, as all workers are required to live adjacent under a Kibbutz type social structure, and to all have a DG tattoo around their left nipple.

 

The CT has forward sold his joint for 150 times its present worth (what a CT) and is buying a ..........

Edited by Captain
Link to comment
Share on other sites

7 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

..................... White Ram and a fifth wheeler to go freecamping with his new friend Cappy.

The biggest problem is that would leave no one to shoot the rabbits, and that .........................

..... would leave the 2,000 seat canteen a bit short of tucker, which could only ...........

 

PS ... It is a dry canteen too, as the community at DG are all required to join the DG Sect, which worships a large statue of the blessed CT in a jump suit with epaulettes, while wringing the neck of a giant bunny (think of those big statues of Sadam, but more grotesque).

Edited by Captain
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

.........result in the local Prime Lamb Industry, already on the ropes, failing from the stock depradations requiring a payout for the 75,000 local farmers involved between DG and the centre of Melbourne, which would ..................

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.........result in the local Prime Lamb Industry, already on the ropes, failing from the stock depradations requiring a payout for the 75,000 local farmers involved between DG and the centre of Melbourne, which would ..................

.......... turn all those cockies into bunny farmers, and that would add .........

Link to comment
Share on other sites

.........12,000 extra homicide cases per year as a result of the typical cockie's aim and strike rate, if any.

As a byproduct of that, the bunny population would explode (not in a way which would increase the hoomicide rate), to the point where motorists would be ..............

Link to comment
Share on other sites

22 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

.........12,000 extra homicide cases per year as a result of the typical cockie's aim and strike rate, if any.

As a byproduct of that, the bunny population would explode (not in a way which would increase the hoomicide rate), to the point where motorists would be ..............

....... experiencing less tyre wear, as their trips are cushioned on bunny ......

 

PS - "Hold on there" said Dan. "Those extra homicide cases would save us from 12,000 possible Rona cases and take the load off our ICU's. These are the types of solutions that I'm paid $450,000 a year to solve. So let's promote homicides (not the TV show but)".

Edited by Captain
Link to comment
Share on other sites

skins left behind by one of Bulls latest ventures,recycling roadkill and herding the rabbit masses onto the highways,,,why would you do that?cried Cappy,,,,,Well i know a mate who is the supply officer for a well known chicken chain [Kfc] around Aus that i can flog as much bunny meat with front and back leg bones as you can supply and for top dollar too ,so get those ringers chasing those bunnies in front of those road trains to help the country during this plandemic thingy.[just dont talk or stand any nearer then 50 ft from those cov spreadering truck drivers ah ok]  What said...............

Edited by bull
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

13 minutes ago, bull said:

recycling roadkill

It's an oldie but a goodie, as bull stole the name from the US venture that does the same, and called it:

 

THE ROADKILL CAFE - FROM YOUR GRILL TO OURS. 

Edited by Captain
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

1 hour ago, Captain said:

Just a few posts back he was so proud..........just a few posts back he sank the knife in.........and now without a dot to his name....above this post is Cappy's lead in - pure air

 

Edited by turboplanner
  • Like 1
  • Haha 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

.....but bull didn't want to be found guilty of direct copyright contravention of the RoadKill Cafe byline, and the resultant lawsuits that would spring from using an exact copy of the wording - so bull modified the ditty to, 
"From your grill to ours, within hours!".

 

This led to dismay amongst the gathering of Philadelphia lawyers employed by the RoadKill Cafe, and a re-examination of coyright laws to see where else bull could be nailed. Finally, they found a small section, which outlawed.........

Link to comment
Share on other sites

........."Misuse of a typewriter in the description of a death"; a law which had been introduced to try to catch the lawyers of Al Capone, when they were pleading that when Al shot someone he didn't like it was an "accident". It was never used because someone realised he'd avoided enough tax to be put away for life.

 

In this case since the alleged offences were taking place in Australia...............

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 hours ago, turboplanner said:

 

In this case since the alleged offences were taking place in Australia...............

....... so any charges had to be written upside down and backwards (Sdrawkcab), but when the US lawyers examined the Aussie copyright laws they dropped the case, as bull had, indeed, copied it right.

 

So bull went for the doctor and franchised his "The Roadkill Cafe's all over OZ and his promotion (bull is a master salesman and is inherently believable) was so successful that most Maccas, KFCs and Midas muffler centers converted over, to the point that bull's RkC chain were so popular that there wasn't a dead roo, emu, goat, bunny, echidna, fox, squashed frilled neck lizard or Bluetongue available on the roads anywhere. Therefore, the RkC central warehouse & distribution center needed to buy in thousands of sheep which were killed humanely using a 1986 Kia that had been .......

Edited by Captain
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

...... for authenticity had been fitted with those little Roo Shoo devices and cheap spotlights so that after being clobbered, the sheep had the imprinted spotlight broken glass seal of approval (including the "bull's RkC" logo) and looked like ...... 

 

(This logo was an important initiative by bull as it stopped little kids from sending in Bluetongues that they had hit with a hammer)

Edited by Captain
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

16 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

..........they'd already been through the meat tenderiser, so costs of production decreased and..............

........ it all became totally believable (and the restaurants bulged at the seams) when bull arranged that each plate would include a few embedded inches of plastic grill from various collectable GM, Ford and Toyota vehicles.

 

This worked a treat and was just like little collectable plastic toys in cornflakes packets back in Turbo's day.

 

However the demand meant that grills started disappearing off any vehicle that was parked in any city in OZ, just like 179 badges were pinched off EH holdens back in the day, and when the grill disappeared off his Vette, Turbo spat the dummy, called bull and said "....

 

(Meanwhile Bluetongues were declared as endangered, once bull included them (filleted or whole) in his list of Entrees and he used their tongues to colour his dessert special ... as they were cheaper than using blueberries).

Edited by Captain
  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

......."thisXXXXXXX game has got to XXXXXXX stop".

bull said "Gross just pushed through $30 million last Friday"

Turbo said "Keep going, you're all doing very well; I' buy another Vette" and tourists flocked to DG from places like San Francisco (78% vaccinated), South Dakota (77% vaccinated), Florida (82% vaccinated) and George (1.3% vaccinated) as a result of the documentaries  on successful businesses through Covid.

"How did they manage to get through our airports?" asked Sally mouthfull, the talkative Mayor of Melbourne.

"Turbo's Tours inc." replied bull, "he flies them straight in to DG International".

bull looked around; since CT had stopped shooting bunnies and left four new Holiday Inns had been built and a Hilton on the site of the old feed store which, with its 200 tonnes of manure had been shifted 8 km out of town.

Ho wondered ..............

Link to comment
Share on other sites

3 minutes ago, turboplanner said:

bull looked around; since CT had stopped shooting bunnies and left four new Holiday Inns had been built and a Hilton on the site of the old feed store which, with its 200 tonnes of manure had been shifted 8 km out of town.

He wondered ..............

........ "I reckon that I can make use of that 200 te as part of my new in-house flambé recreation of that classic dish that is .......

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Known locally to Qlders as Cow pate, and was an instant hit,sales have now gone 50 million since last friday, maybe we should list it on the stockmarket said.............

  • Like 1
Link to comment
Share on other sites

25 minutes ago, bull said:

Known locally to Qlders as Cow pate, and was an instant hit,sales have now gone 50 million since last friday, maybe we should list it on the stockmarket said.............

....... Turbine Stockbroking "As bull's "Cow Pate" is just like a Hash-Brown, but is actually more a Hash-Blackish Green", however it is the new restaurant rage and is ......

Edited by Captain
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...